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PrivateDance42

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About PrivateDance42

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  1. Although this point/counterpoint is entirely off topic - I don't know what to consider more 'personal' - oral, intercourse, touching to the point or orgasm, kissing, caressing, cuddling, etc... Each person/couple is (obviously) free to form their own opinions with regards to this issue. Fortunately, however, my experience is such that I would not draw analogies between oral sex and the licking of a bus seat. Once again, thank you to those of you who have provided me with a sense of the 'play expectations' of males who join a couple for a MFM encounter. As many have said, proper (upfront) communication is key.
  2. I am still trying to understand the point of disagreement - but it may be that you don't consider oral sex or genital touching to be 'soft'. Your definition of soft includes, as you say, "kissing, cuddling, caressing". The working definition among lifestyle couples, as I understand it, is that "soft swaps" often include oral sex, but anything beyond oral (i.e. intercourse) is considered full swap. No need to continually repeat your preference for not including a third person in your soft play - I think that point is clear. But there is room in the lifestyle (I believe) for couples who differ with your approach- and my purpose in starting this thread was to understand the extent to which single males are interested in joining couples for soft play (anything up to, but not including, intercourse). Thank you to those who replied on topic.
  3. I am not confused in the least. I consider most soft activities (including oral play) to be sex... and I also consider intercourse to be sex. (I consider daisies to be flowers, and I consider roses to be flowers, and I enjoy both.) I am fully aware (and accepting) of the fact that some people are not interested in soft activities with others (under most circumstances), whether in a couples swap or as part of an MFM encounter. And I suppose that there are committed couples who express their sexual intimacy primarily (or totally) through intercourse - fine and dandy - it's all good.
  4. This seems to be the consensus view. Anything can be pre-arranged if all parties agree. As a soft swap couple, my husband face the same issue when we interact with full swap couples - we need to determine whose boundaries are applicable prior to entering the bedroom. (Although everyone is always free to say 'no' to any activity at any time.) Thanks hilltop!
  5. I realize there are proponents of the view that the only form of 'sex' is intercourse - and that oral play and genital touching don't qualify as sex - I just don't happen to agree with that view.
  6. My question is for single males and couples who have engaged in pre-arranged MMF play: Is there something equivalent to a couples' soft swap' which can be applied to MMF encounters? In other words: In a MMF encounter, do both of the males expect to engage in intercourse with the female - or is it common for one or both of the males to be limited (by prearrangement) to softer sexual activities such as oral play and petting? Single men: Would you be put off if you were invited to a MMF whereby you were going to be limited to soft activities? I realize that practically anything is possible if all parties agree in advance. But I am interested in learning what is involved in a typical MMF encounter.
  7. Thank you. I got some useful insights from the answers provided, especially from the single males. My question is not a declarative statement, but I admit there is an embedded assumption that single males are somewhat different than married males. The married man in a MFM has an emotional connection with the F - this is an important distinction in my book. I had assumed that this emotional connection was the main reason why married males enjoyed seeing their partners receive pleasure from another man - they empathize with their partner because of their emotional attachment. Yet, it appears that the single males also get pleasure from seeing a female get pleasured by a man - but it is more voyeuristic and less emotional/empathetic. If my initial question was turned on its side, it might address a female's motivation for taking part in a FMF threesome. I didn't ask this question because, as a bi-female, I think I have some insight. The 'single' female, because she is bisexual, enjoys the physical interaction between each partner, male and female. I don't imagine that there are many 'straight' females which engage in FMF, yet it seems that single males engaging in MFM are mostly straight. I am very aware that females, in general, can have sex whenever they want with a very wide range of people. So, I understand the perspective of a male who engages in MFM partly to expand his chances to enjoy regular sexual activity. What is that silly quote from Woody Allen? Something about being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date for Saturday night? I guess a similar factor applies to single males in the lifestyle - MFM expands your opportunities.
  8. I'm very interested in the general mindset of straight males who are willing to join a 'married' couple for a MFM threesome. I understand that many married males are aroused by seeing their female become sexually aroused by another male. But, if you are the other (unmarried) male, what exactly are you getting out of the experience? Are you (the other male) aroused by watching the female engage with her 'husband'? Are you aroused by watching the other male (perhaps because you have bisexual tendencies)? Are you participating in MFM sex merely to expand your opportunity to have no-strings-attached sex? Would you prefer to have one-on-sex with females without another male present? It may be impossible to generalize, but does anyone (male or female) have any useful insight?
  9. I also prefer tall men - despite being only 5'2" myself. My husband is exactly one foot taller than me (6'2").
  10. I love going to a certain strip club with my husband. In our state (New Jersey) most clubs serve alchohol, and the stripping is very tame (no nudity). Our favorite club is unusual in NJ - it is a 'juice bar' - the girls strip nude and you can bring your own beer or wine. Although the male/female ratio is about 50:1, and very few couples attend - we tend to stand out in the crowd - which actually lends to my (exhibitionist) excitement. As an 'interested' female, I get plenty of attention from the female dancers (most of them like/favor girls to some extent). I sometimes split a private lap dance with my husband. The dancers are great/sexy and I get am usually afforded certain 'comforts' in the lap dance room that are not afforded to males. Although men must keep their hands pinned to their sides, I enjoy many liberties - giving and receiving. Being outnumbered at a nudie bar strip club by horny anonymous males can be somewhat intimidating - but I always feel safe in the company of the dancers (who are savy and afforded great security), the bouncers (who are strong and professional), and my husband (who is extra-strong...and my personal body guard). Sure, go as a couple with other couples, sounds like great fun to me!
  11. Believe it or not - I measured my husbands two longest fingers - the average length is about four inches. That hits my G-spot very nice, thank you! Granted, I have not been with a four inch penis, but I assume that the same would be true regarding penis length. I am petite, so the same might not be true of all women - but with five inches and the proper skill/trajectory/movement - I would probably scream! Do some women have a mental penis-length fetish? Of course. Likewise, some men have a large breast fetish. But is a smallish penis a problem from a physical standpoint? Probably not for me. (But I won't know for sure until I try.) By the way, my two longest fingers are only three inches long - drats! (I need assistance!)
  12. Having carefully researched this topic - I think the definitive web source for information and reviews of quality lesbian porn is lezlovevideo.com - and some of the best video representations of lesbians in action are produced by a studio called Thursday Night Video. If you are new to lesbian porn, you will notice a number of major differences from mainstream porn which often depicts female on female sex in an entirely unrealistic manner. Using Thursday Night Video productions as an example: Expect things to move very slowly, panties come off 15+ minutes into a scene. Lots of kissing. No fake moaning. No toys. Simple camera angles. Very few closeups. Real orgasms portrayed in an unexaggerated manner. The women really seem to enjoy one another - they appear as amateurs without any sense that they are acting. They are beautiful in a very natural way, not overly made up, and not artificially enhanced. Anyone who thinks they might enjoy this type of 'porn' might want to check out a video called 'Three Girlfriends' by Thursday Night Video. For online lesbian porn, there is one site that is head and shoulders above the rest in terms of quality and value - Sapphic Erotica. The website includes extensive picture spreads and videos which are downloadable. Daily updates. Quality lesbian porn should appeal to members of both sexes - it certainly does in my household.
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