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twoferfun69

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    180
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15 Good

About twoferfun69

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 04/03/1965

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio
  • Occupation
    Taking care of each other
  • Swinging Experience
    a while

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    twoferfun69
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Try 'em all!! LOL
  1. Ok......this is probably going to be lengthy as most of my posts are, so bear with me. First to Corkwan- I too am one of those that would suggest counseling, and I HAVE been to same. To those that would say that it doesn't work, I would offer up a couple things.....yes, there are really crappy counselors, however, I believe that some of the problems with counselors arises from one or the other of the people IN counseling does not "buy" into it, and does not apply themselves 100% to the effort. Second, I, like JnCC have been down this same road with my ex. As hard as I tried, things were not to be, sexually. To this day, even our children literally call her a "psycho bitch". There are issues within her mind that no one can fix. This is not to say she cannot be a wonderful person, but there are times when her warped sense of reality makes her an interesting person to deal with. Having spent 5 long years on marriage counseling with her, only to have her simply walk out when the counseling sessions turned to dealing with HER issues, I decided that the counseling would not work for "us". I continued to go on my own, and learned how to deal with the issues I was encountering with her and in life in general. After I went thru all of this, and trying and trying and trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, I finally had enough. Bottom line is, only you can decide what is best for YOU. But, I implore you, do not cheat, it will only make for difficulties later on. Both externally (dealing with it in divorce can be a problem, plus, even tho she says to let her know, the female mind is thing of which we can only hazard a guess as to how to deal with it, and THAT little statement will be taken wrong, no matter how she presented it to you) and internally. If you have any moral fiber within you, it is something that you will have to reconcile on your own later on in life. Yes, this is the voice of experience talking. If you would like we can talk more of this privately, cqwest, but I believe I have bored most of you enough. Please take care, and be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
  2. JnCC......blunt? Never whoooowee.......lol.....me sides be hurtin'..... ahem. anyway. Yes, it may be blunt, and yes JnCC, you could use a couple lessons in tact, but we love ya anyway!! BUTTTTTTTT (I like big butts and I can not lie...oh oops. sorry. got off on a Sir Mixalot tangent), he (JnCC)speaks total truth. I can empathize with you, Dez, as I did a lot of the same with my friends, and even some dates ..... I whined, complained, bashed my ex, etc, feeling justified because I was hurting. I finally got over it when a good friend looked at me after a rather lengthy tirade and asked "are ya done whinin? You booted her for good reason, get over her, move on and quit yer bitchin." Now, this was a few months after my divorce, but hell, I'd been with her 20 years, so I felt entitled to a few months of crying in my beer. Once my friend said that to me, I realized I was ruining perfectly good beer. I sucked it up, quit my whinin', and lo and behold, very soon after, I found the soon to be (100 days and counting) Mrs Twofer, and have been more happy than I could have ever imagined. Moral of my very lengthy response is.......... every where you turn you are going to hear one thing. Let go of the past, and move on. You will not, cannot be truly happy until you do. You are going to hear this over and over until you hear it in your sleep, in the shower, coming from your computer, hell, you may even hear it in the rythmic swish of the clothes washer. (oh, wait, no, that was one of my episodes. sorry ) Lighten up, relax, have fun with life. YOU, my dear, are at a great fork in the road. The path you take from here will determine your happiness. The easy, well mown, clear, trimmed path is the one on which you continue to whine and complain, the other one is grown over, dark, scary and in much need of some TLC. THAT path is one of unknown fun, treasures and excitement . Life is like that much of the time. Here's to the scary path!! May it cut you and bruise you, as we all have had done to us. For those cuts and bruises are the badges we wear to remind us to love and have fun, no matter the price. soapbox Twofer, steppin down now......... Surrender Take care, Dez, in the immortal words of the "Crazy Cajun"..... "You can doooo it!!!"
  3. You were calling yourself stupid, and I disagree with that. One should never call themselves stupid for making what turns out to be a bad choice. Just one of my little quirky things......hate hearing people talk down about themselves in a serious way. We all joke around about being stupid or clumsy or whatever (lol....do it all the time myself) but to do it in a serious way is not a good thing. You are not stupid, you simply made what turned out to be a bad choice in men. HE is the one that appears to be stupid, disrespectful, etc. for putting one over on you.:slam" He is a cad, and a fool, and you are correct in that HE is the type that makes single guys look bad. The better ones are like Jncc (even tho he and I tend to disagree on a lot of issues, I respect his manner and his insight from a singles' perspective), and a couple others that I have run across. If you look at a lot of the single men that have a lot of posts, they tend to have a lot more going for them in this LS than you might imagine. I would just ask that you don't get too down on yourself for what he did. It happens to the best of us. head bang Hugs!!! Mr Twofer
  4. I don't believe in the offendee (is that even a word? ) being the one that is stupid. From what I have read, I gather you had your "personals" profile on a "swinging" website. Yes, this was probably a bad decision, in part due to the fact that people looking on those websites are looking for one (eventual) end. Now, having said that, my suggestions are as follows: First- get yourself over him. Period. Before you do anything else. Second- only when you are truly over him...and only YOU can make that decision as to when that might be......then think about what you are looking for. Are you looking for a series of FB's? Are you looking for a serious relationship that might eventually include this lifestyle, or would you be OK without this lifestyle at all? Again, only you can make these decisions. If you are looking for a serious relationship, either with or without the much future potential of this LS, then I would suggest a rather vanilla approach....... one of the more heavily advertised sites, ie Match, eHarmony, etc. I have my opinions on those, but that's another thread. The soon to be Mrs. Twofer and I met on Match, and are very much in love, and we absolutely could do without this LS, and it is NOT a necessary part of our lives, but we choose to be involved, as it makes life quite fun and interesting (sorry Jncc, had to disagree with ya, you know that!! ). The biggest reason this works for us, as with most committed couples, is that we communicate very openly about what works for us, what doesn't, what each facet of this LS does or does not mean to us, etc. We constantly talk about EVERYTHING. Did we get there right away? Of course not. We've only been in the lifestyle a year, and we've only been together going on 3 years. However, we started out our relationship by talking, and talking and talking (as you can tell by the length of most of my posts....and Mrs talks even more than I do! ). We also have a great deal of respect for one another. Is it always so wonderful and perfect? PSH..hell no. But we constantly work on it. If I did not respect Mrs, and/or she not respect me? Not only would we be unable to be in the LS, there is no way we could be together. Bottom line is, get your head and heart straight first, then move on from there. IMHO....... Mr Twofer
  5. Surrender Ok, ok, let me re-phrase. Sorry Male D, no offense to your porn star persona intended (gotta stop the late night ramblings, they just don't make sense-even to me) What I'm talking about is keeping up. Not on a situational basis, but a "return visit" kinda thing. Sure, some of us can be the energizer bunny and keep going and going, sometimes to the dismay of our partner, but once we pop, it takes a while to re-charge. Some, only a few minutes, depending upon the situation, some a few hours. Every guy is different. (insert a collective "duh" here) However, from what I have been told, read, seen, studied, women can just go and go. Orgasm after orgasm, not really any rest/recharge in between. (this is a good thing, no? ) My whole point was- OP needs to realize this is not a contest, as I was perceiving he thought it was. (the repeated "keep up" comment) we are here to have fun, enjoy one anothers' company, and enhance our relationships with our SO's, (if the situation warrants), not compete with them to "see how many times we can get laid".
  6. Sigh....... I wish those that think we are being "sickening" could see in our hearts, the love we have for one another. How deeply we DO love each other. I could not imagine.....well, wait, yeah I can. I lived it for too many years......anyway, what we have is so wonderful, I cannot imagine ever living without it again. Couple weekends ago, we went to the now local club, there was a group of couples that invited us to sit with them, chat, blah blah blah. One of the couples was really having fun. As she was dancing (lol...all by herself on the floor....) she was looking deeply into the eyes of her husband, seated just off the dance floor. She was already attractive, well ok, she was freakin' hot, but anyway, as Mrs and I watched her dance, and seeing how she looked at him, made us all the more attracted to her, just because....well, I don't really know why, but we both commented on how much we admired them for that. Men, (or I guess women too) have you ever noticed how you can see a VERY attractive woman, strike up a conversation, only to realize just what a nasty person she is, and suddenly she's not quite as attractive as you thought? Kinda the same thing here. A couple seems to be more "attractive" to us if they are well connected. If he treats her like shit, then he's going to treat my wife like shit. I don't think so, junior. Just my humble opion, as disjointed and far fetched as it is.
  7. Keep up? It is incumbent upon her to let the other men know, she is not wanting anything at that moment, she is enjoying her husband for a little while. YES, she should tell them NO, if it is an uncomfortable situation for you, then out of respect for YOU, SHE should say no to the others. Not trying to bash HER, just making an observation. Why stop it? Hello? That is the whole "don't take one for the team" concept kicking in. She should not be putting you into, and you should not allow yourself to be in, the position of just doing because she's busy. If it's not working for you, the reason is immaterial. Mrs and I have an understanding, even if we are in "mid stroke" if one of us says stop, all play stops. Period, no questions asked. It is out of respect for each other, our (soon to be) marriage (or your relationship, however you choose to define it-no offense intended to those that choose not to be married, but are a committed couple), and our swinging lifestyle. If we do not have that safety valve, that bond, that comfort of knowing that each other will be there for the other, we could not make this work. THAT would be counter-productive to fun in the lifestyle Again-- keep up? If that many things were off, you should have "called it off" then. That's a bad situation to allow yourself to get into, rather self depricating, isn't it? and again-- keep up? Why must you make it a contest? Fact: women are capable of much more sexual activity than men. Why? It's a natural biological thing, but it's a fact. YOU WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH ANY WOMAN Any man that believes he can is either a fool or a porn star. I'm not trying to be harsh, man, I'm just trying to say maybe it's time you guys took a break, re-examined why you are in this, and why it stopped being fun for you. If it ain't fun, what's the point? Whew.....sorry, damn soapbox comes out so easily some times. Mr twofer......steppin' down now.
  8. (soon to be) Mrs Twofer and I had a similar situation recently. Biggest difference was that we had never played with the couple. I have known them for a long time, and they apparently recently became swingers. Now, Mrs and I have not entertainede the idea of playing with them, as we are really not attracted. However.......the other mrs had been constantly emailing and calling me late at night (usually after her and the mr had played, and she was quite .... tipsy....lol). Come to find out, she was doing all this without the knowledge of her mr. Mrs Twofer immediately let me know it made her extremely uncomfortable, and requested that if I had the opportunity to talk with mrs, I was to let her know that this was NOT going to happen, that her actions were NOT of the swinger way, and to stop calling, emailing, etc. It was pretty simple for me........out of respect for my love, my partner, my soon to be mate, I put a stop to it. Not because I was bowing to her wishes, per se, but because that is what this lifestyle is about.....having a level of respect above and beyond what is considered to be "normal". IMHO... Mr. Twofer
  9. Uh, yeah, mine too. Be careful man, you're talkin' tender package. In the words of the dad on "A Christmas Story" ...... "it must be Italian, see here, it says fraaajeeeleeey "
  10. Ah, yes, excellent point. See? I can go to bed now, I learned something today.
  11. Ok, having read all of the posts here made by a lot of people I respect on this board, I have to toss in my pennies. When I was dating, I had a profile on Match.com. I played with my profile on there many times, trying to get it right. I finally sat down with a Drambuie in one hand a great Fuente in the other and thought about what I really wanted out of a prospective mate. (Ultimately being the future Mrs. Twofer ). Now, having perused a ton of women's profiles, and I even looked at a few men's, to get an idea of what was acceptable, etc. Finally I happened upon an idea/ideal that I hold to today, and that Mrs. Twofer and I agree upon wholeheartedly. I wrote in my profile that I was not trying to be superficial, mean or stuck up, but I believe we all have one thing in common whether we choose to admit it or not. This being that I/we simply cannot see your personality from across the room. It is not a slight, it is not rudeness, it is not being stuck up, snobbish or any other negative form of representation you may desire to label it. It is simply a gauge by which physical attractiveness and, ultimately, sexual attraction are determined. I have in my mind an idea of what an attractive person is for ME. I am want to describe this in detail, but I have never been able to do so, for myself, let alone anyone else. Usually, it manifests itself more in the form of what I am NOT attracted to. It is no one's fault, it is not A fault. It simply is. I do not dislike someone for not being attracted to me, unless they are quite rude about it. Then I tend to get a bit snippy And to comment on Mrs. Goodtime's post concerning talking with someone for a bit, but if you're not interested, moving on after a short time. Again, this is just like dating. There were a couple of women that I dated that just weren't for me. So, I cut them loose (sorry, crudely stated), so as to not "lead them on". That is what I would classify as mean, and very hurtful. So, I guess my point is, please don't hate those that espouse an opinion of what they prefer. To each their own, and bless them for being nice about it. Mr. Twofer soapbox steppin down.
  12. Hmmm. Interesting turn of events, eh? I love it when we guys have the best women in the world, have everything we could dream of when in comes to a relationship (if we were mature and thoughtful enough to dream of such things), but yet we are STOOPID enough to think there is more out there, and we should put the good stuff on hold to go get it. Ok, that even confused me. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that a lot of times we have these wonderful women in front of us, but we don't want to see it. Then when confronted with our own blatant stupidity, we panic, professing our undying love. Because we know that we have something comfortable, familiar, and we don't have the self confidence to start over, even though we may not be totally happy with what we have. Kudos to you, mrs pacpl, for not backing down. Your hubby needs to wrap his brain around the idea that swinging should only go the way of the "least interested" partner. (for want of a better term...not the best, but I couldn't come up with anything better ). I hope things work out for the best for you two. Mr Twofer
  13. Hmmm. Methinks I disagree. He gave me the impression of being as a teen caught in the act one too many times. Rather than rant and rave as teens are want to do, he emitted false contrition to elicit a "ok I'll cut your some slack THIS time, just don't let it happen again" response. (sigh, yes, voice of MUCH experience there ) But see my other response to this below absolutely agree 100% on both accounts. Without a doubt. In the face of obvious irritation from some of us, your hubby still held his head high, and seemed to WANT to do the right thing, just couldn't see around the ego bus. as an aside, Mrs. Uomo, your husband felt pretty flamethrow by a few of us, myself included, and I responded in a rather disagreeable tone on a couple of issues, but in general I would hope that maybe somewhere in all of our responses to his various posts, we could be of some small help in getting him to realize his issues with you. Maybe, just maybe it will be enough to allow the communication between you two to reach a level where the dreaded divorce will not be on the table. No matter what goes on here or in our playtime, I think most would agree, the relationship with our significant other is paramount. Take care Mrs Uomo, and Mr too. Twofers
  14. Mrs and I have not experienced the "after cravings" as yet, are we missing out on something? Any volunteers to educate us? But, for the intoxicated part, the white castle burgers are tops. HOWEVER, for a real hamburger (I prefer cheeseburgers tho) ya'll are going to have to before the bird. To what do I refer? RED ROBIN gourmet burgers!! O M G Yes they are a bit spendy, but holy cow!!!!!!!!! I consider myself a connoisseur of the mashed moo, and THESE are absolutely without any doubt the most perfect burger God ever put on the planet.
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