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talltim123

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talltim123 last won the day on October 24 2008

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About talltim123

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 04/12/1933

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single male
  • Location
    Smithfield, Virginia
  • Interests
    Photography, boating
  • Occupation
    Retired
  • Swinging Experience
    13 years
  1. I will occasionally write a congratulatory note to someone if there is something about their profile that is particularly attractive or particularly interesting. This is usually someone who lives so far away that any relationship would be exceedingly unlikely. I preface my note with a comment that I am not hitting on them but merely congratulating them on it particularly well-written or attractive profile. Many times I will just a thank you note for my comments.
  2. At a hotel when we met our first couple and it was their first such experience also.
  3. I have always considered stretch marks that resulted from a previous pregnancy as being a beauty mark and a tribute to a lady who has given birth to a child. For that reason scratch marks are to be revered as a sign of her motherhood. I would not be concerned about them but rather be proud of them. Men who do not appreciate them should be dismissed as persons who do not appreciate the real beauty of a woman who has been pregnant.
  4. My observations on how to get things started the first time with another couple or a third person: I had a long time lady friend and FB who had had a long-lasting fantasy of being in a threesome with two men. I also had a single male friend who is interested in participating in that and he also had lots of experience in the lifestyle. With both of my two friends knowing what the agenda was for the evening we met for dinner at a local restaurant in order to let them get to know each other a little bit socially before advancing the game. We had a great time socialize and dinner and discussed a wide range of topics and exchanged ideas on many things but the subject of sex was never among the discussed topics. I thought that perhaps one of the other or possibly both of them were not attracted to each other. So far it was a great social time however. As it became obvious that we could not continue occupying our seats at the restaurant I suggested we go to my home and take my boat out on the water. I was divorced and my three teenage sons were home that evening so we could not easily continue the social activities in my house. It was a very warm summer evening and my boat was on a lift on a pier in my backyard. The river was wide and the water very calm at night and we anchored out in the middle of the river where there was no other boat traffic. Even with the change in venue the talk continued in a social vein and I was beginning to think that the evening, while a great social evening, was going to be a bust with respect to what had been planned. In order to get things started I went behind my lady friend and began massaging her breasts through her blouse while my male friend clearly enjoyed the view. It only took a minute or two of breast massage to inspire her to remove her blouse and bra. At that time she sat on a small bench on the boat and each of us gave individual attention to a different breast and this is enjoyed by all. The 23 foot boat was not large enough to really engage in much more activity and so after enjoying her breasts for a while and returning to the pier, the evening ended but by now we all knew what we wanted to do together. We made a date for a week later at a local hotel room, brought in some fast food which we hastily ate and then had a wonderful evening together. I also occasionally see a married couple either alone or with an inexperienced lady friend who would like to try a foursome. If that lady is new to the lifestyle then the social aspects of the afternoon or evening often occupy a lot of wasted time before if subject moves around to what all four of us knew was the main agenda. On two occasions when introducing a new lady I would try to be sitting next to her as we made social small talk with the other couple. After the conversation was going well and it appeared that everyone was socially comfortable each other I would slowly and gradually begin massaging one of her breasts and this often inspire the other couple to engage in similar activity. Again, as the social discourse continues I would gradually remove her blouse and bra and continue to play with her bare breasts and the other couple followed suit. From there it was usually a natural and very easy transition to the bed and more intimate activity. To me it is important for people to socialize and to gain a degree of comfort with the other couple or person but then there comes the indecision or uncertainty as to how to escalate the activities to the intended purpose of the evening. By incorporating affectionate gestures and advancing to breast play is a natural and gradual progression to intimate activities and seems to make things flow well. Of course the female partner could also be the initiator of touching her partner intimately through his clothing. On two of these occasions described above the lady who was my date had never had a lifestyle experience before so that the fact that I was petting her seem to make the transition easier, more acceptable and enjoyable. I do agree that a bit of social interaction is important to assess the mutual attraction of the parties and if the conversation transitions to sexual topics of interest then that certainly is great. However, if the situation or encounter seems stuck at the social level, then gradually escalating intimate touching of one's partner can help create an atmosphere that makes advancing to more intimate play an easier transition.
  5. For almost 5 years I have seen a married lady with the full permission and cooperation of her husband. About a year into our relationship I introduced them to a single male friend of mine and he also sees her and we will occasionally have a mfm (with either her husband and myself or my friend) and we have had a couple mmmf. The guys are all straight and we are all good social friends as well.
  6. I have had a few lady friends over the years that had cats and/or dogs that were usually allowed full bedroom access including during "thiose moments" which I found distracting at times. But, they usually left us alone after being ejected from the bed during play time. However, when things were cooling off during snuggle time or if I was staying overnight they would pile on and while they (the ladies) were in general "worth it" the only animal I want to sleep with is the female of the human race. I did meet one long term online friend once who was traveling through my area and when I met her at her hotel room she had a lap dog which barked continuously and was somewhat intimidating. How ever once she and I were both nude and enjoying some "quality horizontal time" the dog went to a corner of the room and remained silent. Perhaps its barking inititially was urging me on and not trying to be protective but really encouraging me to get on with business. I prefer only human pussies in bed with me!
  7. I am in my 70's and play with one couple who are also in their 70's as well as with another couple who are about 60. On several occasions other ladies from late 50's to late 70's have joined us. I have found that older ladies are often more at ease with their own sexual desires and open to trying new experiences. A single male friend (late 50's) and I have introduced 5 ladies ages 48 to 75, to their first mfm and a couple of them progressed to enjoying mfmf as well as exploring their bi curiosity. One is never too old to explore and enjoy multiple person encounters, though the pool of those interested and willing is smaller than the 20-50 age group, as evidenced by the few seniors posting on swinging sites.
  8. About 4 or 5 years ago I was involved with a local polyamory support group and they scheduled a sensual massage event. It was held at a large private home of one of the members and there were 24 people in attendance and were paired off with 2 ladies and 2 men at each of the 6 tables. Many pairs were established couples but for those who did not have an opposite sex partner for that evening, they were paired off with an opposite sex person by the organizers, taking into account who they felt might be compatible. There was incense burning, warm massage oils available, low lighting, a fire in the fireplace, and soft sensual music playing. All six tables were in view of the others in two large rooms connected by a wide open archway. Nudity was suggested but not required and one lady in her 20’s kept her bra and panties on and one lady in her 50’s at our table left her panties on. The rest were totally nude. For many including me it was their first public nude event other than for those who had been in swinging situations, etc. Each person could tell the others at their table where they did not wish to be touched if they had personal restrictions about that. When giving a massage, one would only touch areas of another person’s body the massager felt comfortable making contact with. The makeup of the group included those from their 20’s to their 70’s and included the merely polyamory curious to those in established poly relationships as well as swingers. At my table we were fortunate to have a lady who was an experienced masseuse, though not licensed or certified. The other lady was rather shy and kept her panties on and she indicated she would welcome being massaged anywhere she was exposed. For her and me it was our first public nude event. I am not sure what the other single male’s nudist etc. experiences were. Each person lay face down for 15 minutes and 15 minutes face up and received massage by 6 hands at once. Then another person would receive a 30 minute massage and in a little over 2 hours all had had a 30 minute massage by the other three persons at their table. At the table I was at, there was some brief genital massage by some participants. I did note while changing table positions, that 2 couples at an adjacent table were taking it from sensual to erotic with one of the ladies giving each of the other men a brief (a few seconds) of oral-penile “massage!” However, as we were giving our full attention to the person we were massaging it did not seem appropriate to “stare” at the other tables so I cannot say how much overt sexual activity might have occurred elsewhere. For me it was a great introduction to being nude in front of so many others and in 2-3 minutes I felt quite comfortable with it. It was also great that such a spectrum of ages and those from poly curious to established polys and swingers could enjoy such an occasion and no one freaked out despite the range of experience levels represented. I am sure if the event was more segregated by experience those who were more lifestyle friendly would been less inhibited and more inclined to enjoy the voyeuristic opportunities available.
  9. I, as a single male have met quite a few single ladies as well as some couples on AFF, but I agree with the other posters comments about there being many lurkers there or insincere members and I have discontinued my paid subscription. On the other hand I have met many ladies on Match.com and on Plenty of Fish who were rather sexually liberated and curious about the LS. In fact, a single male friend and I have satisfied the curiosity of a few ladies from those sites about mfm and a few have also enjoyed experiencing mfmf etc., as well. As a single older male I find that many ladies on "vanilla" dating sites are very interested in sexual interaction. Many however are looking for mates and that is usually evident from the first few emails or phone chats. Many others however, prefer non-committed relationships and have developed a more open attitude about sexual encounters. Many admit to have been curious about multiple person encounters but never had such an opportunity to pursue one. When that is offered as a "menu item" from an experienced male they look at it as an opportunity to fulfill a fantasy. When I started going on singles sites I was somewhat surprised at the number of ladies whose primary motivation was for sex and not just romance. So for singles looking for LS friendly persons do not over look the regular dating wwww sites
  10. A looooong time ago (1960's) I kept tract of lover's initials on a 3 x 5 card and it was lost. For many years I kept no records except for pleasant memories! For the past few years I have logged my "social encounters" in my Palm PDA with only initials as well as date, time, and location. When one of my friends asked me when the anniversary of our first meeting was, I able to tell her when we first met. This was for get a "acquainted brunch", as well as the date a few days later that I met her and her and her husband at their home for the beginning of a great long term poly relationship that evolved from a swinging relationship. He and I are both straight. The three of us have a limited number of mutual intimate, swinging based friends, as well as friends we do not share in common but, whom we know about. It is of note that the husband of that couple was a high school classmate of my current main lady friend and she is quite mono. She was a long term professional and very platonic friend of mine that I had lost touch with after we both retired. The husband of the couple saw her at a high school reunion at a time after her husband died and asked her if she know me and she replied, yes, and, she told him it would be nice if he would ask me to contact her, which I did. Early in her and my renewed relationship, she asked me how I knew the couple, as they live in a neighboring town about 30 minutes away. I truthfully told her we had met online and had some mutual (unmentioned) interests! It should be noted when our friendship was renewed I told her up front that I was not monogamous and very poly minded and while she did not share those values she accepted the fact that I did. After she and I had dated for sometime, the subject of how I knew the couple in question would keep arising. Because of my respect and caring for her and wanting an honesty based relationship I felt it wise to inform her of "the rest of the story." When she next asked me again how I knew them I told her I would tell her if she really wanted to know and be able to deal with the consequences of such knowledge. She replied affirmatively, and, so I laid it all out for her. She expressed great surprise and shock that I had that relationship with the couple. She had known and accepted that I was poly and not at all monogamous. The real surprise was that she now had a specific name and face to associate with my non monogamy and had to confront it in fact, and not just in theory. After a few rough days for her to digest her knowledge of my relationship with the lady of the other couple, our relationship continues to thrive. Her expressed response and working hypothesis is she would rather have 95% of me than none of me. She would be most welcome to join me in my other social "activities," however, she has no such current inclination, and the issue is not a focus of our ever stronger relationship. Sorry for rambling away from the topic of this posting chain!
  11. A single male here who was once contacted on AFF by a 26 yo lady and her 40 yo bf. She had a thing for older gentlemen and we met twice. She was great in bed but had few conversational skills and I decided two meeting were enough. She was 44 years younger than me at the time! I do often play with a couple who are 15-20 years younger and most of my dates with single ladies are in the 50 to 75 age range. Many of them are curious about mfm encounters and I have a single male friend who helps me with this educational process. The only expressed regret by these ladies is waiting so long to experience 2 guys and an encore is usually requested by them! In my experience older ladies are more adventuresome and open to exploring their fantasies
  12. She (my ex) 41 and me 63, a mfmf. I got a late start so a lot of catching up to do!
  13. My ex and I had become involved in the lifestyle in 1996 and after we were divorced in 1999 i had a few lifestyle encounters. About 2 1/2 years ago I met a married lady from AFF and this meeting was with the full encouragement of her husband. I initially met her for brunch and we hit it off well and a few days later I meet both her and her husband at their home. They explained that for 30 years they had had a relationship with one male friend who was a co worker of the husband. Initially that was a purely social friendship, that, over a few years lead to an intimate one. That person moved over a 1000 miles away and was more or less unavailable to them. Because that friendship had been so valuable to both she and her husband, both her old male friend and husband encouraged her desires to make a new similar friendship. (I and the husband and previous friend are straight) Our first intimate encounter was a threesome and after that it is usually just she and I together while he is either watching TV in an other room or out shopping, etc. Occasionaly he will join us after she and I have have some "quality time", and usually the evening will end with the three of us having coffee and desert together. On some occasions we all will go out to dinner, etc, for a purely social encounter What had started out as a swinging activity has developed into a close social friendship as well, and, is still strong as ever 2 1/2 years later. From chatting on-line, as well as reading postings on both swinging and poly sites, it would seem that relationships which started out as swinging do develop into poly type friendships at times. Also many social friendships progress to intimate ones with poly characteristics. Swinging and poly are at each end of a spectrum and attempts to define a particular relationship can be difficult. While the three of us have a poly friendship we are also open to selective and limited swinging situations and have on two occasions the three of us met with one other couple. One of my, as well as their criteria, is that we would not plan to be intimate with anyone with whom we would not also feel comfortable with socially as well.
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