JnG

Would anyone like to review ours? 'gplusjinsocal' on LifestyleLounge. Thanks! - J

You know, sometimes I think the word "biased" gets a bad rap. There's nothing wrong with being biased - mainly, because everyone is biased in some way. No two humans think about any thing of consequence in the same way, and the #1 thing that influences them is their preconceived notions in one way or the other (ie. personal experience, tendency to defer to so-called experts, sexual experiences, etc). Trying to look beyond one's own biases is fine and even commendable, but thinking that there is really such thing as an unbiased opinion can get you in trouble. The people you have to worry about most are those who claim or imply that they do not have any biases - particularly if they have an agenda. Just me 2... 3... 10 cents.

Fact is, swinging isn't for everyone. Heck, it may not be for most people. If anything, all I hope is that this forum and/or thread shows your wife that swingers can be and are in loving, committed relationships. She's absolutely right. We're all biased, based on our own experiences. Food for thought, though: The people who typically say that swinging isn't harmful to their relationship are those who have done it. Those who seem to find it inherently harmful are usually those who - surprise - have never actually been swingers. I think you'll be stuck looking for a long time. There aren't many who could be considered "professional" swingers, and we're all independent in the sense that we don't have any agenda other than expressing our own experiences. Really, there is no such thing as a "Consumer Reports" for swinging - you pretty much have to look at what people tell you about their own experiences and see how much of it applies to your own situation. Honestly, the only experts on your relationship and suitability for this lifestyle are you and your wife. Don't look outside, look within.

This is an excellent attitude to have, and will probably get you pretty far. I know that when my wife and I started, we (well, mostly I) had a number of "rules" that we no longer have. After time, they felt like artificial barriers that didn't serve any purpose and we both agreed to let them go. We're still relative newbies to the lifestyle, but we've come a long way in the last year with no major problems. The main thing is to discuss any change that comes up, before said change occurs. If everything is spelled out before-hand, you'll both be able to handle it with ease. Congrats!