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us2maybe

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About us2maybe

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/11/1981

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Atlanta
  • Interests
    for now voyeurism/ soft swing...maybe more later

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  1. I say ditch her ass. I mean really - you've done your part. It wasn't even that you eventually wouldn't have progressed to the multiple guy thing - its that she *wasn't considerate enough to even wait* Worse do you think she would have ever gotten around to telling you had you not found out on your own and confronted her? What then do you really have to go on now? Esp. if she's still associating with the same chic who aided in the first instance of cheating? I don't know your girl - or her friend, but based on the variables you've proved so far this equation adds up to = 1 is the magic number. Meaning you should be looking out for numero uno. If your girl can't accept why you aren't comfortable with her friend now - just wait until she repeats some of her old habits. You'll be equally as angry - but this time you'll only have yourself to blame.
  2. I find that my mate finds sex more enjoyable when I shave - she's not crazy about the regrowth - so I shave my pipe and ball bearings probably more than my face. 5'oclock shadow on your balls ain't cool...
  3. Umm I'd disagree - I think that's not surprising that amongst the 50 states the one in question happens to be Mississippi, okay maybe South Carolina and Georgia were close runner ups. And not to say this sort of thing can't exist in California or Massachussetts - because around the country you have individuals who may be "my race only". But let's be real here. It's no surprise that a state where you could loose your life for whistling at a white woman 50 years ago, has 2 of its 3 listed organizations here as "whites only". Granted swingers are supposedly "more openminded" I'd say that 2/3 ratio is probably optimistic in the reference to how Mississippians view interracial sex in general.
  4. You know WE had the SAME experience this weekend. We went out for dinner and drinks with a couple we talked with online. TONS of things in common, same age, the whole nine - but once we got back to our place it was as if no one really knew what we were all there for. True it was the first time we ever met them so maybe it was more of a "get to know you" thing - but perhaps next time we'd be best to start the evening off on a naughty note so much as expect it to end on one. I'm thinking maybe a strip club and then once we get home truth or dare, round of "drink you under the table" strip poker, etc. It was just so weird and awkard. And what really makes this whole thing strange is we find it EASIER to initiate when at an adult club, so maybe we should start the night of there instead?
  5. I think that while younger couples aren't the majority they are in fact out there - and increasingly so. The reason however is simple why you probably don't find as many young couples. For one if someone practices what is swinging behavior male/female despite our "sexually liberated" generation the stigma of he/she sluts still exist - so many people who are probably interested otherwise, don't feel as comfortable...well maybe except guys cause' they're always horny. However, I think that is changing now - and really the only reason why you tend to see older couples swing is because of : 1) comfort 2) trust and 3) sexual maturity. Younger couples tend to be starting out with eachother, are new to one another and unless they make the concerted effort to express these specific issues tend to not feel comfortable expressing interest until they are older. Sometimes couples wait until they're older to "spice things up" sometimes they wait until they're older because they are growing with their partner and are more comfortable sharing those interest. 2) trust same thing. Trust takes a lot of time (especially the trust to allow someone else to play with your partner), and as we all to some degree struggle with our insecurities and jealousy issues - it takes time (years often) for couples to trust one another. Sometimes younger couples perhaps can deal quicker and it doesn't take years necessarily - but it definitely takes some time for them to full on swing, and by then they probably fall in the 30ish+ crowd you mentioned. 3) sexual maturity. You'll be quick to find many ready and willing single guys - in our age group because 1) the sexual double standards - but also because guys' sexual desire between the ages of 18-28 is bit more revved (though viagra has tweaked this a bit)than that of women who tend to reach the peak of their sexual desire/response towards their 30s/40s. Some point to the "biological clock" trying to beat menopause, they way belligerent drunks beat fellow patrons on "last call" - but I'm not so sure its just personal comfort moreso than biology since they're are probably PLENTY post-menopausal women who enjoy the lifestyle. But with the social and biological differences in male female sexuality the addage "You can only swing as fast as the slowest partner" may shed a bit more light since swinging usually takes place because the female partner actually is willing to at least try it. Sometimes she may be dragged and kicking, sometimes she does it for her partner, and sometimes she is acknowledging some of her own fantasies - but it really can't take place unless the female partner is comfortable enough with herself. And in their 20s a lot of young women may be comfortable with it themselves - but they may not feel comfortable sharing such with a partner they are unsure will be accepting of their desires - and still respect them as a partner. Now that of course is not to say that women's sexual desire/responses necessarily aren't close to or higher than that of males in the 20ish age group - but the social double standard still exist for them and that can be a major deterrent to what society deems for women as "slutty" behavior.
  6. I just don't think that's a good idea. I mean its kinda asking for an issue to happen...lord knows its bad enough if your kids were to catch the two parents together...what would you tell them with an "outsider" being intimate. It would truly be asking for a potential issue, and inviting issues...this could potentially border on an issue that if the wrong person got hold of - child endangerment or reason for someone's kids to be taken. Perhaps if it was an infant, but even then with swinging safety has to be key and god forbid some issue arouse of jealousy or violence that your child would be in that environment.
  7. **Foremost I would like to say in the following that if you think this is aimed at you, don't take it personal as I issue the word some quite frequently, and am not in any means making generalizations about male/female sexuality** --------------------------------------------------------------------- I have what I've been told an "unconventional" view on human sexuality, I could be talking to a gay guy or straight guy, straight girl, bi or gay girl and usually they'd soon as say that that's "unusual"...but here it goes. Its my belief that a MAJORITY of humans are in fact to some degree bisexual, and only extreme exceptions falling on either side of the purely 100% hetero / 100% homosexual spectrum. Religious arguments aside there is one thing about human sexuality that seems to be obvious and it seems either everyone here or in the "vanilla" life deal with it - the effect of people being socialized/conditioned and its effects on their sexual identity. A woman could be taught that to do (a), (b), and © make her "loose" or "not a woman"...but if those impulses are still there, obviously they were innate and continue to be a core part of her sexual identity. One can repress it all they want, but its still there. And we see this everyday when people bring taboo fantasies to fruition. Interracial sex a prime example in that to have sex with a black male was set forth as "defilement"...and now there is the wide phenomenon of not only interracial sex but even "breeding". Clearly in this case, even if no previous attraction to black men existed - the mere restriction placed upon it has established the fetish for some women who see it as being a "bad girl". Similarly, with men we are conditioned/socialized to validate our manhood...and MUCH of it centers around from the time you and friends start getting peach fuzz and pimples. From preschool we define our relationship with other men, based on how we view women. We first shun girls, and their kisses when we're prepubscent. If you were that unlucky lad who had a girl kiss him in grade school you'd soon find your friends saying "ewww, gross!". Then suddenly they're appealing again, and if you said to your friends who once shuddered at the thought of holding hands with a girl that "you weren't interested in them" you might get the same "ewww, gross" or questionable looks that you did if you kissed them years prior. But the irony in that is (and this is the part some people don't like), men's response to women was in response to the outcome it would have on their relationship with other men. If the norm to establish yourself as "one of the guys" is to not kiss girls...most guys do it. If the norm to establish yourself as "one of the guys" is to kiss girls...most guys do it. In that we tend to validate our manhood by our prowess in relation to women. The implicit meaning in our society (i believe) is that women are still seen in general as "not as strong" as men. My only conclusion as to why some people are so adamantly homophobic is that their "manhood" is reaffirmed in their ability to be with a woman who on some level they see as "not equal to a man" who could possibly debase a man's "manhood" or strength. So often we hear men say "that they don't want to be put in a threatening position with gay/bi men"...but my question is "what about them threatens you": Is it that he has a dick too? Is it that he could "take" you? Or is it because were you to be sexually involved with him in some way that you wouldn't necessarily entitled to the gender/sex role of "dominant"? That's where I think the issue lies - in that for so long heterosexuality for men translated beyond sheer sexual preference - and for some was an entitlement to claims of "gender superiority". Were it not for male acceptance of lesbians and "bi-chicks" do you think it'd be such a common staple in the porn industry? Well, granted that cunnilingus still doesn't catch on for more than 30 seconds in a typical flick...probably not. Heterosexuality for *some* men functions like an oligarchy where sexual priviledges are exclusive to "members" of the genders. With that said, I don't doubt some people are purely heterosexual anymore that I don't doubt some people are purely homosexual - and similarly I find people who are bisexual to be those who despite whatever social norms,standards, conditioning maintained some level sexual attraction to both genders. But what I think is there is a LARGE majority of people who if unmolested or influenced by societal constraints, mores, norms would have probably been bisexual. That's not to say some people aren't genuinely straight...just that some people who identify as "straight" were influenced to associate negative feelings with anything that wasn't straight and therefore curbed the behavior (but not the desires) within themselves. But how this plays out for women is different. Some women who are bi would never dream of being with a bi male because to them they've been conditioned to classify a male not on the basis of his personality, but on some level on the basis of his sexuality. Its no different essentially from a man saying "if you're not straight, you're not a real man". And then there are some women who wouldn't think him less a man - but at the same time just aren't sexually aroused by bisexual males. But the interesting thing is in this society, women are still set to sexual constraints that men aren't - and what I find common among bisexual women is they lay claim to a certain sexual autonomy ...they can "have who they want, when they want", whereas generations prior it was you wed, you birth, you rear, you die. Or if you fell out of that construction you ran the risk of being ousted socially. Now however women find it easier to be sexual with other women, which for them may be a emotionally beneficial relation - where as for some of their "100% straight male 'I'd never touch a dick' partners" its more of another manesfestation of a guy being able to witness/lay claim to sexual superiority over women. Not to say that there aren't guys who are genuinely concerned about the sexual, emotional benefits of their partner being bi, for me personally if my mate chose that route I'd see it no differently from her wanting a MFM...but truth be told there is the faction of men who think about the FMF fantasy only as a means of the women pleasing their wants,desires and re-inforcing their "manhood" - nothing else. And there are some women who will gladly oblige because to them they may have been socialized that they should want a man that is "manly and verile"...what proves that more than him being able to tango with two women at once? The thing that is interesting however is, if men were the "sexually repressed" in society...would it be more acceptable for them to be bisexual? Now again, however this is coming from a male in a couple who identifies as 95% - 99.5% straight. I've not been in a bi situation, nor have I ever actually fantasized about it - but on the other hand I know that in this society sexuality is not always a concrete absolute - but rather a behavior in response to whatever existing social/cultural environment. I can't imagine the scenario to come to place, but most people when highly aroused there are many things that they wouldn't otherwise do that in an uninhibited state would probably do.
  8. Yeah, I don't know about that whole shoe/hand/height thing. I'm like barely 5'8" - 5'9" slender/athletic and I'm about 8 to 8.5" and nearly as thick as my wrist (granted I don't have "popeye" arms). The only complaining I get is that she would always like more sex or on the occasion that I hit bottom (she says it feels like its close to her stomach). Still though, even then I myself on the occasion run into a larger penis in locker rooms etc. felt as if I'd like a larger member. For one, I'm a "grower" not a "show-er" so I'm probably about average flaccid - so if I see a guy who has a larger penis flaccid I'm probably going to be just a tad envious -even though I already know that doesn't mean his full hard on would necessarily be bigger than mine. Its just a common preoccupation - its almost a given that human beings obsess (at least initially) about the quantity rather than quality of matters. No different from women who obsess about their weight or breast size. And with that breast size thing in mind, here's a thought fellas - when was the last time breast size truly affected your ability to have mind-blowing sex with a woman? I mean sure in the case of titty-fucking or some mammary fetish...but otherwise did it truly have that much of an effect? Probably not - and the same stands for some women. Now there are of course "size queens" - but truth be told men are the biggest size queens ever! And to be honest it'd be much easier with a larger penis to stimulate and reach certain parts of the vagina and is probably more stimulating for her visually (if the guy knows what he's doing) - but the thing is women more often seem to prefer girth to length. Us men get caught up in the "who's stick is longer game" when we should be thinking like the Grand -Am commercial "wider is better". Not that you can change that either...but you can definitely *compensate* during lovemaking more for girth than you could for length (i.e. gently inserting a lubricated finger or two to the upper wall of her vagina to stimulate her g-spot). And of course the old stand by is eating pussy...the tongue for some of us can be the "great equalizer". I mean seriously if it is or was absolutely imperative for your woman to have a larger penis she probably wouldn't be with you or you could use extensions or dildos - chances are however if you couldn't or weren't willing to eat pussy...you'd have a problem. Coupled with the fact that women want to feel desired, respected (no matter how "slutty/naughty" the behavior), loved, etc...and all that stuff comes into play too. A guy could have the perfect penis in the world...but if he didn't know how to be a good lover its not going to do him much good. I think a flaw for us men is we vest too much of our sexuality in our organ...and this is coming from a guy of pretty decent endowment. We sometimes seriously sabotage sex because of our insecurities with our bodies, and often its not even that serious. Seriously - that is a turn-off for some women. They don't want you focusing on your cock so much that you start doubting your abilities romantically/sexually with them. Women tend to like men who are confident and exude a sort of sexual prowess whether they have 5" or 12", and truthfully if you know how to please your woman you have probably 120 cubic feet of other flesh to use to your advantage *especially your tongue*. Now having an absurdly small penis may not fly too well...but all in all women want to know your attention is on pleasing them...and that means by "any means necessary". **Oh and on the topic of better penile enhancement surgery - why don't they just come up with a procedure where they could sorta reposition the balls back an inch or so? I mean there is probably a good 1 -2" there of erectile tissue why not reconstruct the scrotum a bit to further exploit the shaft without having to damn near impale the penis with artificial materials?**
  9. I think we have a few *variations* that we like a lot but probably the best is... 1) She is laying on her side and he squats sorta like a baseball catcher and pulls her to him with each thrust using his arms. This focuses on the upper wall of the vagina (i.e. g-spot a major +), allows for clitoral (+), breast stimulation(+), anal play, and I found if you're really flexible breathing and/or licking the clit. Doesn't put strain on the legs (+) which can lead to either tiring out or early ejaculation and it allows for deep penetration with eye contact (+). She can adjust her legs to be closed, open, knees to chest, whatever...its your average versatile good ole standby - and we *love it* lol.
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