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curiousagain

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curiousagain last won the day on October 31 2023

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About curiousagain

  • Rank
    A gentleman never tells
  • Birthday 09/30/1956

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    half of a couple
  • Location
    Southeastern USA
  • Interests
    Too many I am afraid. Swinging is just one of them.
  • Occupation
    health services

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  1. "The art of diplomacy is never forgetting a woman's birthday while never remembering her age" I agree with VegasLee, you're probably not going to care. If it's on a swingers site I wouldn't worry about it. But, I agree if you show up for a meet and their pics are 10 years and 40 lbs ago, there might be some concern there.
  2. I use vipre and window washer each time I have been online and I don't store anything on any hard drive that I wouldn't want to be found after my death. I used to have "stuff" on the hard drives and had my best friend promise to reformat my computers if I died unexpectedly but decided to just make sure there wasn't anything that I didn't want to be found.
  3. I have to ask if instead of falling asleep your wife had then had sex only with you with the SM watching or getting something to drink or whatever would it have been a good experience. I've been in more than a few FMF and some of them as part of "the couple" and rarely are two alike, even with the same people involved. The best advice I can give is go with the flow and enjoy. Maybe the best advice would be to use communication. On the board here, we hear everybody say that a couple has to communicate, communicate, communicate. The same holds true for ALL involved. Non verbal communications are often not noticed, misread, misunderstood. Verbal communications are best. Once, the husband of a couple I swung with pretty regular told me after a play session he thought I had spent too long performing oral sex on his wife at one point that he had wanted to do it too. I told him I was sorry, I was kind of involved and since she was performing oral sex on him at the same time I thought everything was OK. My view was pretty limited so I couldn't see any non verbal cues. I told him next time, tell me. After that he had no problem saying what he wanted to do next so to speak, we all did and it worked great. Was the SM an experienced swinger? I try to "check on" the husband fairly frequently if he's just watching to see if he wants to join in or take over. Sometimes I'll ask for him to join in. If you can't talk to the people you're having sex with or in front of, I'm thinking you shouldn't be having sex with them. Not every SM you swing with is going to be very experienced and not many are going to have swung as a couple and every situation is different. It sounds like more of a lack of communication or a misunderstanding than anything else. I know I was talking to a male half of a couple one time I had played with and I told him he was lucky as his wife was so interested in pleasing him. I talked about how she frequently made sure that he was having fun and a couple of times whispered to me what he liked to see and we should do that etc. There was a moment of silence then "I really needed to hear that right now". Evidently he had a little bit of similar feelings to what the OP did but hadn't realized his wife had been doing what she thought was a turn on for him, what she was doing was trying to please him. It all got sorted out in the end because of verbal communication. Talk, talk, talk, and every now and then talk dirty.
  4. I couldn't agree with you more. It's a giveaway of the real situation.
  5. I received an email on Swing Lifestyle showing a fuzzy photo of a woman partially disrobed with her face distorted in photoshop and a short invite. "We are having a GB in ___(my town) tomorrow night. Would you like to be there?" I responded that I had to work that day and the next, I didn't know them, I didn't know who else would be there etc. etc. so... my answer is no. My answer was longer and contained more information than their invite. This was an example of how not to put a gangbang together.
  6. I think you would be better off to find a SM via SLS that has certs or maybe one referred by another couple. Communicate well with them before hand as to what you both are wanting out of the experience and any limits you have or any parts you are nervous about. Go slow and enjoy the experience.
  7. There's a saying "You're only as young as your endothelial tissue". Specifically the lining of your arteries and veins. In other words, keep your arteries clear and aging is slowed. I smoke some but otherwise lead a pretty healthy lifestyle. I'm 53 and of course I'm not as spry as I once was and my refractory period is longer but I'm doing OK. Evidently I'm out there on the good tail of the bell curve. Sometimes erection difficulties are age or disease related and sometimes they are situational or mental or a product of habituation. Men and their erections are often like Pavlov's dog in that a certain stimulus and sometimes only a certain stimulus will cause a certain reaction or lack there of. If you only see your wife naked when you are about to have sex, seeing her naked will be arousing. If you only receive a kiss when you are about to have sex but see her naked all the time you probably are much more likely to be aroused by her kiss than the sight of her naked body. Men are visual creatures though and we tend to get excited by sights more than sounds or smells. I know every time I see the new palm phone commercial with the girl in the red dress I get engorgement and sometimes an erection. After working for years with mostly female associates and swinging for years, the sight of a female body doesn't always cause an immediate erection even if I'm interested. But, once something signals me she is interested in getting busy with me, no problem. It's often all about the triggers.
  8. Since everything else has been covered pretty well. I just felt I had to address this. That is one of the main things that separates swingers from the rest of the population. I have heard non swinging friends and associates talk about people they knew that had been outed as swingers and without exception, they had a similar attitude. They cheat on their wives but would freak out if they thought their wife was doing the same, and they can imagine having sex with a woman in front off her husband but just can't begin to think about seeing their wife have sex with another person. I don't know if it's an inferiority complex, juvenile jealousy, "traditional" thinking, whatthehellever, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. We're guys, we're visual, we're voyeurs, unless you have a hang up (and I know most people do for a variety of reasons) it is a turn on to see your wife/girlfriend enjoying herself. You think you've had the ultimate blowjob? Wait till your girlfriend/wife gives you one while she's being penetrated from behind. You want to have non stop sex for 2 weeks? The week before and after a playdate can be a bit exhausting, due to anticipation and the "after effect". You're not wanting to swing, you just want sex on the side. I don't know where you live or what you look like, but the average single guy now days that has anything on the ball doesn't have a problem finding sex. Oh yeah, single women might not want to just be a side thing. Just set aside some discretionary funds and pay for a prostitute. They don't get paid for sex, they get paid to go away and keep their mouth shut and I think that is what you need, not swingers to involve in any drama/courts/shootings/etc.
  9. I've had sex with women younger than my oldest child and then had an issue with it. But, a female friend pointed something out to me. I spent about a year during my middle twenties dating only women in their forties and early fifties kind of experimenting and enjoying NSA sex just for the joy of it. She said she had done the same in her twenties, dating only older men for a lot of the same reasons. She asked why I wasn't comfortable being on the other side of the same situation, helping someone to experiment, enjoy, and maybe learn a little. It was a bit of BFO (blinding flash of the obvious) for me. The only worry I've had about it since is how other people might perceive it, but I tend to worry less about those things as time goes on. Each moment occurs only once, enjoy them.
  10. I had posted in this thread years ago and looking at it I didn't really answer it. I'm not sure at this point which is worse. If you hold off a while you have more time having fun but not always more fun. I've had this discussion with playmates before and it seems they all pretty much agree that at times it's great to play for a long time and do different things but at other times it's great to just kind of tear each other's clothes off and have a quick passionate wild short but oh so satisfying play. Of course if you do the wild thing first, in a little while you can do the marathon thing, so I guess it's still all good.
  11. The light should be soft and directional, google enviromental portaiture. I take it you are using a point and shoot digital. Use soft broad light. Old studios were always built with the windows facing north for a reason. It yield diffuse, gentle, even light that the human face looks great in. Make sure you get that North Light on the subject. There are amatuer photographers on every street corner. Most would be glad to do an enviromental portrait set for cheap. I have never understood why more people in the lifestyle don't do this. I don't have any pics on my profile right now because those I had are old and well, the cobbler's children have no shoes. A photographer friend of mine is suppose to shoot some pics of me when she gets back in country again. It's just too difficult to make them of myself and I don't like the results. Besides, I like her style and I think she will make some good shots. Do you have a friend/nephew/niece/sibling/cousin that you like their photographs of people? Ask them to snap a few of you. Follow their directions and go with the flow. If you put your camera on a tripod, set the timer and run to join the missus in the shot it will look like you just did that. If you have a photographer hang out with you and make a few couple portraits and catch some shots of you interacting they should appear like snaps but with that touch that a good photographer brings, as they are always watching the background, the perspective, the composition, the light, and the moment. A friend of mine wanted a new photo for his FB profile recently and I set up lights and diffusers, made a great head shot of him and said hey, while we are here, shoot me. An hour later I told him I now knew what he felt like when tried to teach me how to play guitar and gave up. If you want good photos get someone that has that ability to do it. couple - Flickr: Search find a local flickr contributor you like and contact them about shooting some shots of you. There's no need to tell him what you're going to use them for since they are G rated. They will probably do it for a relatively small sum. Think of your profile shots as advertising. You don't want them to be false advertising but you want them to show you in the best possible way without being contrived. Put them on the net somewhere also such as your FB, etc. Then if they are "found" on SLS you can always say they were obviously stolen from your FB.
  12. Looks like you've gotten some good advice. Make sure you're all into the same thing and have the same likes/dislikes. I generally don't mind being watched, but sometimes I do. If the husband participates with the female and once things get going between me and her he wants to sit back and watch a bit it's OK. But, I've met couples and when we met to swing, the guy would just sit over in the corner, fully clothed, having a drink and smoking a cig and saying, don't mind me, go ahead. That's a little bit of a mood killer sometimes. Sometimes the SM and the female don't click. No matter how hot the girl is, if I'm not feeling the chemistry............... If I get a vibe that either one is really deep down uncomfortable with the situation, it's not happening. Just find someone you want to meet then both meet and see if you and he are comfortable with each other and he and she have some chemistry, make sure everybody is on the same page and have a go at it. I'm afraid you're going to find a ton of liars on all sites and of all kinds. You kind of learn to weed them out early after a while. Good luck in your search
  13. I looked back through the OP's post and it seems since the guy is reluctant to give them a copy the OP is afraid he may post it somewhere and the answers just kind of drifted that way. If he knows where he works, lives, and plays golf, going to him and getting it shouldn't require legal action. Preventing him from posting it on the net if it hasn't already happened or getting him to erase all copies would probably involve legal action.
  14. But, due to some people going to prison, I think sites are getting a bit more strict in having proof that the subjects are of legal age. That requires a bit more than a model release. I think sometimes things get posted to free sharing sites and later they are taken down but by then it's too late. I'd like to hear from those with personal experience in the matters of homemade porn posting. But, I think everybody is correct in crossing your fingers and trying to maintain good Karma is your only choice at this point.
  15. And the quickest way to make that film worth selling is to sue over it and make it famous. Until then, it's pretty much one of millions but once it becomes a news item it has it's own "celebrity status" and he can turn a quick buck on it.
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