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Rett

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About Rett

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    M
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    midwest
  1. To Vegas Lee: You are absolutely correct - from an owner's point of view it's just good business not to have to many restrictions imposed against smokers at a club. After all, smoking is legal and it's their choice . Since the smokers constitute the majority of the clientel a club, an owner must provide an atmosphere that will satisfy and bring them back to the club or lose business. It's just good common business sense! You also mention the possibility that many of the patrons at a club may not smoke at home or even in their car, but chose to do so at the club. The question the non-smokers have is - Why is it that the majority of people at a club are smokers? If they choose not to smoke at home, then why do they choose to smoke in a closed area with others around? To RDY46227 Thank you for the reply from one smokers opinion or viewpoint. I was trying to get replies from smokers so that both smokers and non-smokers would better understand why it seems to be that so many swingers are smokers. You post clearly states your reasons - and is appreciated. Thank you.
  2. Hi Everyone, smokers and non-smokers seem to be going back and forth about the club rules and reasons regarding smoking and each has a valid point. Perhaps a better question might be: Why is it that smoking and drinking seem to go hand-in-hand with swinging? What is it about the life style that so many feel the need to smoke to the extent that it takes a knife to cut through the smoke at a club. Maybe the smokers can give the non-smokers truly valid and reasonable explantions why their habit or addiction to smoking is magnified when at a club and why they wouldn't enjoy the atmosphere, participate, or attend as much if they couldn't smoke as freely. Smokers, you seem to be the majority, Please explain in a logical, meaningful way why you feel it is your freedom and right to smoke anytime and whenever you feel the need to smoke without the regard of some other patrons whom it may irritate. Don't just tell them they have the freedom to come or not come to the club, it's their choice. You may be turning away many truly nice people.
  3. Hi ALL : I don't really know if the herbal libido enhancers work but, after doing a search online I found a pretty good site selling discount nutritional supplements (mostly bulk) which you may want to look at. They have about 200 various supplements (proteins, vitamins, etc.) If you "click on "Supplement Guide on the top right and then scroll down to "Sexual Function" there is a list of various herbal supplements which have been touted for this purpose. If you click on the listing "Products A-Z" there are two formulated products listed there. One is "Sex-ess" and the other is "Sex-Tiva". As with all supplements be aware of the side-effects that they might have with regards to any medical condition you may have.
  4. I know little of herpes but, found the following interesting excerpt from an article in Iron Magazine, written by Curtis Koch , entitled `Creatine: Beyond the Confusion - part I (think it was published in Sept. 2001?) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did You Say Herpes? What can you say about herpes? It's kind of like one of those girls that are fun to pick up and party with - until she moves in with you, becomes a disgusting living nightmare, and Never, Ever leaves---Ever. If you were in this situation and someone told you how to keep the little "lady" under control, I think you would want to hear about it, wouldn't you. Apparently creatine can help inhibit the replication of herpes simplex 1 and 2 (HVS-1, HVS-2), and may reduce morbidity and mortality of those who suffer from HVS-2. A practitioner at Camp Pendleton Marine Base who was treating several cases of herpes noticed that several of his patients failed to return for periodic acyclovir therapy. After inquiring, it was revealed that these patients had all commenced supplemental creatine after their last outbreak and had experienced no further outbreaks & apparently cyclocreatine, a synthetic compound structurally and functionally homogolous to creatine, has the ability to inhibit HVS-1 and HVS-2. Because creatine and cyclocreatine have shown neuroprotective and cancer-retardant effects in rodents, the speculation exists the creatine shares the anti-viral ability of cyclocreatine. In the United States approximately 45 million individuals (about one in five people over age 12) are infected with HVS-2. Furthermore, there will be up to 1 million new HVS-2 infections transmitted each year. With 45 million people in the United states suffering from herpes I believe that anything that can prevent these unfortunate people from future outbreaks should be looked at very seriously. If you could only prevent your mother-in-law from coming back by giving her a little creatine... ========================================================== (As with any substance you should check with your Doctor first) Also, if you do an internet search using the words "DMSO and Herpes" you may find an alternate treatment. Take care everyone.
  5. Mrs. Naughty, Do you actually think your masterfully cool and calculated web of enticement is going to succeed with the maintenance man. . You have to realize that most moral and ethical single vanilla men can resist just about anything, that is, except, well , "temptation". Especially, temptation from an intelligent and attractive young lady. I think you're giving us all very good educational lesson - and that is: "To pick the fruit of the tree, You have to go out on a limb" We are all anxiously waiting to learn of the next episode of "The Conquest of Everest" ( is Everest his name?) and then "My Summer Vacation". Thank you , Thank you, for keeping us so intrigued .
  6. To say that swinging isn't what causes the marital breakup in the lifestyle, but it's the people -that's very , very undefining and nebulas. Put it this way , if both partners have open , honest, communication and both desire to try the lifestyle many of the differences and problems that arise may or can be handled by both . If they each have total committment to one another and their desires they can always work out any major problems. On the other hand, where one of the partners is more forceful and determined that their partner give it a try and it turns out that it's not for them or that they cannot handle the moral issues, constaints, time, money , secrecy, societies boundaries , family attitudes, etc. it may indeed cause resistance or problems down the road , perhaps even leading to divorce. One or the other partner may enjoy and desire to continue, but the other does not. Then you may indeed blame it on swinging. The relationship must be very solid and respectful of one another's desires whether in an all vanilla world or swinging. As everyone has said many, many times - "The lifestyle is not for everyone " - that's very true and just the way it is !
  7. To say that swinging isn't what causes the marital breakup in the lifestyle, but it's the people -that's very , very undefining and nebulas. Put it this way , if both partners have open , honest, communication and both desire to try the lifestyle many of the differences and problems that arise may or can be handled by both . If they each have total committment to one another and their desires they can always work out any major problems. On the other hand, where one of the partners is more forceful and determined that their partner give it a try and it turns out that it's not for them or that they cannot handle the moral issues, constaints, time, money , secrecy, societies boundaries , family attitudes, etc. it may indeed cause resistance or problems down the road , perhaps even leading to divorce. One or the other partner may enjoy and desire to continue, but the other does not. Then you may indeed blame it on swinging. The relationship must be very solid and respectful of one another's desires whether in an all vanilla world or swinging. As everyone has said many, many times - "The lifestyle is not for everyone " - that's very true and just the way it is !
  8. Hi DragonHeart, I don't think that I can properly express my sympathy for what you have just been through. I know it's hard breaking up , but in this case I think it is to your benefit. The man you date should always make every attempt to make sure you are in a safe, comfortable , and enjoyable situation whatever your physical and mental state are at the time. In this case he failed in every way. He apparently just took you deep into the dungeon of dispare without first communicating fully with you. He also showed no remorse and was extremely callous after the happening by just walking away implying that your emotions were a problem that would not be an issue with a new partner. The true nature of his other side came through. Unfortunatelly there are many men that are true womanizers and play the game for all it's worth to get personal satisfaction. Unfortunately for you , you've learned too late. I'm sure you will find a better partner - one that will always in every situation try to treat you with honesty and respect. Communicate openly with the person you partner with and really get to know them inside and out. You should always feel as if you are the one person that comes first in his heart. I surely hope you can get over the deep scars that this must have left in you.
  9. You surely picked the right caption for your post "A lesson learned too late". It certainly seems as if your boyfriend had absolutely no respect for your feelings or self-esteem to put you through an experience such as that. Without openly and completely discussing both of your feelings, desires, and expectations both beforehand and while at the club - that's disturbing and a certain road to disaster. It sounds as if he's interested in only one thing and that's sex and disregards any caring or love for you. I think DbStPete has given you some very good advice here. You'll also have to say "no" not only for yourself but also as a couple. I don't think many ladies would put up with this man for an instant. Sorry you learned too late.
  10. If this guy is just having his fun with members on the board it should not even be answered - what a way to seriously converse. If he is considering cheating on a wife or partner who is committed to him, what a scoundrel, why bother responding to him. Which is it? Perhaps he should seriously consider what he is doing!
  11. Stoutgatte, Just another thought in regards to cheating swingers -or- cheating partners. Was it the Male, Female, or Both that cheated?
  12. Stoutgatte, According to the poll results sofar, the great majority have been involved with a cheating partner at one time or the other. That's interesting, but I don't think one can gather a good conclusion dependent on the questions asked: if it relates to commited couples, married, or single persons playing the field ? Whether it was while living the lifestyle of swinging? Whether the respondents have been into swinging or just thinking of it? Did the cheating take place before they were swingers or after? It might also be interesting to know the age groups of the respondents or at what period in time the cheating occured. After several years into the relationship together or a shorter period of time. Maybe another question might be : What was the reason given behind or for the cheating? I guess that's a few of the questions . Very interesting poll though, sofar. Thanks for starting it.
  13. Ophelia, Taking one for the team? It sounds as if you have been taking therapy to regain your self-esteem and break your addiction and now your husband is disregarding all your efforts , and blames (or uses ) jealousy as the problem. A lot of good advice has already been given. Swinging is not for everyone, and you should not agree just to give in. Your husband should be considerate of your feelings , especially because of your efforts and reasons for going to therapy to break your addiction. It's probably not a jealously issue at all. Your husband should also be going the therapy with you to understand what you are going through and also to find out what his desires might mean to your marriage. In a loving relationship each partner should and respect the others feelings and wishes as much or more than their own . If it's not something you wish to do, your husband should drop the subject and work on improving your marriage. I hope it works out for you, your husband, and your marriage.
  14. It's the personality of the people that matters. As to an older woman with a younger man, physiologically it makes sense. The male has less of a life span - meaning a couple where the male is younger would be better matched as to the remainder of their life span. I do think, however, at the younger ages the woman matures earlier than their male counterparts. At 20 or 25 years of age the male "may not" be as ready to settle into a steady and committed relationship as the female (nothing to do with swinging).
  15. Hi Tarnished, I'm glad your loved one finally logged on and is starting to get acquainted with the various issues (wish he has used another name though). Sounds also as if you are both now starting to get around to more meaningful discussions as to the issues that face you both. I wish you both a better start now. I know in your minds and hearts you're trying to resolve all the benefits or problems swinging might present, and I'm sure it's not an easy decision as to which path you both wish or are willing to take.. In one of your more recent posts you stated ... online...there may be some books out there ... and there is no credit card for shopping...and what swinging might mean to you personally. I just did a search a few minutes ago to see just what if anything is available. Well, there certainly is no void in sex and swinging site - but they don't give you the amount of information you have already received on this board, Not that that's bad. I tried to find something that related more to what your concerns are. Two sites I located are just about Love and Relationships and there is definitely a lot of information there, a couple other sites take a look at swinging from outside reporters viewpoints, and the others take viewpoints from people with a situation somewhat like yours. Perhaps you both will find more to consider either positive or negative from your viewpoint and your decisions are as important as anyone's. Ultimately, it's up to just the two of you to decide.
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