Jump to content

PleasingHer

Registered
  • Content Count

    30
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

PleasingHer last won the day on July 14 2015

PleasingHer had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

52 Excellent

About PleasingHer

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/06/1973

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Central texas
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Sounds like you guys just want to let your hair down a little. The club is a fun (albeit expensive) way to do this. Be very up front with other couples your just there to socialize. Nothing is more annoying then spending 45 minutes with someone only to find out they do not swap. Talking is fun, but I can do that at a regular club. So to your first point, will it be jealousy filled? Yes! You need to have jealousy under control before swapping. Neither me or the wife are jealous, but its a minefield for those that are. Second, would it be unfulfilling sex? Yes! If you go into it with that attitude of course it will be mediocre. Just assume someone out there might be better, and teach you a few things. Further, no matter how good your sex life, having more people in the same bed will always spice things up. If it doesn't, you're doing it wrong. Finally, will you end up in an unfair swap. In the lifestyle its known as "taking one for the team". You bang the skank cuz your spouse is really into the other person. That only happens if you let it. Both of you should be into your prospective partners. In short, you sound like your not ready to swap. But have fun clubbing and be honest with others.
  2. Well there really are no levels. You simply do whatever your comfortable with. Some folks only want to soft swap. Making out with another couple. Others jump right in and do full swap. You guys should share your fantasies with one another, then help each other fulfill them. So if he wants to see you with two guys at once, then sign up on the swinger sites and look for single men. If you only want to be with another woman while he watches, look for a unicorn. Get a sexual bucket list together and advertise yourself on the swinger sites. Some people also go to a swing club to get a feel for the scene. Some think its awesome, some are disillusioned. Most important thing is to get yourself out there in the clubs and websites.
  3. "Couple who gets beat up every weekend" " just gross" You guys sound humble and non judgemental, you should have no problems in the lifestyle. Please let us know your search goes
  4. Daphne, I will play devil's advocate and say just because people weren't loud doesn't mean there wasn't passion or connection. I'm not sure why people associate loudness with enjoyment levels. I can have the best orgasm of my life and barely be grunting. My theory is that a person being vocal reinforces they are satisfied and makes us feel better about our performance. I get that. But at the same time wouldn't call someone a "dead fish" if they aren't very vocal. Although swinging is fun It still can be awkward to have people watching you while your with a relative stranger. Add to that your having to check in with your spouse to make sure they are ok. Plus your already worried about pleasing your partner, then maybe you have had a few drinks and your not focusing. Then the nuclear bomb. Suppose your SO is vocal, moaning how much they love it. Then the seed of jealousy kicks in. Most swingers by definition are not jealous but hearing and seeing your SO moaning or screaming can make you wonder about your own performance if they aren't normally THAT vocal. Ergo, I think a lot of people hold back so as not to make their SO jealous. Not a lot, but just enough.
  5. He likely wasn't judging the youth pastor. Just pointing out it you wouldn't think a youth pastor would be in the lifestyle. The fact you felt he was judging them tells me more about you than him. Almost getting busted by your kids is never funny at the time. If you can't chuckle about it later however then I definitely would think you lack a sense of humor. Everyone has their reasons for not wanting to play with someone. I agree you should not play. But for what's it's worth I think you're off base on this one
  6. As gold coast said, just let them know if your sure play is inevitable. I for one have no problem with lactation. After our children I had no problem with a little milk during our sex. It was kind of a turn-on. Some dudes are freaked out about it ( I asked around and some of them didn't like the idea). So yeah, just let them know ahead of time
  7. The literal way is absolutely how I would do it. "Hey there buddy. I let you bang her, how much spooning do you need!?" I don't know the time limit on post sex cuddling. Based off my wife, I'd say 20 minutes. Some other dude gets more spoon time than me I would ask questions. Life is too short to get bent out of shape. Communicate with the SO and move on. I for one, love a good cuddle. If there is issue with the amount of time, then let's address it and respect each other boundaries. People are too often passive aggressive. Just be honest with the other couple.
  8. Yeah Bob, wish you the very best of luck. Sounds like a gal who just got off track a little. Please update in the future and let us know how things are going. It could be tremendously useful for anyone who had similar issues down the road
  9. Inviting a non swinger into the bed usually ends badly. Perhaps some background would help. Have you guys swung before? Are you sure the other guy won't get clingy after the sex, wanting to be touchy feely even if he is just over for a vanilla visit? Finally, make sure he can keep his pie hole shut. Don't want him talking to mutual friends about this. Other than that, have fun. Make sure the wife has lots of orgasms.
  10. Yes I mean after sex. If the other guy was still cuddling an hour after play I would ask for my wife back. Being flirty and touchy before sex I would consider foreplay. So that's ok too.
  11. Seems like a minefield to me. Some couples are into post coitus snuggling, some are not. As Bob pointed out, probably best to find out the other couples preference up front. I have no problem with cuddling. Seems natural to me. Your only borrowing that partner for a while, cuddling isn't a prelude to an engagement ring. It's a way of cementing the fun you have just had. To read more into it is a reflection of your own insecurity. If your certain of your SO's love and commitment to your relationship then a little cuddling isn't an issue. However, if you feel different then tell the other couple for God's sake. No sense spoiling the potential of a repeat over such issues
  12. Great blog post. I always wonder what's going through people's mind for a meet and greet. I'm super nerdy as we'll and a natural introvert. I can be difficult to carry conversation but I let the excitement of a potential connection keep me going. Sometimes you hit it off, most times it's a big flop. Best not to dwell on flops and just be yourself. Don't worry about being a nervous deer in the headlights. Your in a room full of strangers Looking to get naked with each Other. That's an awkward start for any conversation. Just follow up with those you made some sort of connection with. I'd highly recommend not driving so far for meet and greets. The odds of a good connection are low so that's alot of gas and money for possibly nothing. Keep your chin up girl and keep writing. The lifestyle needs more candid newbies telling their inner thoughts
  13. I'm not a fan of foreign jizz but if it was messing with my mojo I would just grab a towel or dish rag. If the girl's desire is to have lots of jizz on her, then that's another issue. I can't decide if seeing cum all over her would be hot or creepy. I'm gonna go with hot for now and just try to avoid touching it
  14. If you believe she is sincere in her regret about being deceitful then give her another chance. Some people need a wake up call before they keep all their cards on the table. As far as being poly, that's a tough nut to crack. It means everyone is emotionally involved. If that sounds appealing, go for it
  15. Tough one. If you like the LS then it's hard to give up. I however agree with cpl.... If your willing to give up the marriage for swinging them something was wrong in the relationship. I would be wicked pissed if the wife wanted to give it up but I would do it. I also have to think about other stuff in order to get to the finish line. I do think she is hot, and I do love her but I'm just a perv so that's what I need. So don't feel bad about that one. You really didn't explain why she wants out. That's the key to everything. She wants out for a reason and isn't sure you will stay with her if she does leave the LS. So find out why. You will most likely get a generic response like " it's not for me", but dig a little deeper. Specifics are important to her state of mind.
×
×
  • Create New...