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desertplay91

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About desertplay91

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/11/1973

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Phoenix, AZ
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. I have the same problem. When we go out, my fiance picks the women he knows I'll be attracted to (he knows me well!) but I'm always so self conscious. Last night we met a couple- she was GORGEOUS- petite, perfect flat stomach, perky boobs, you name it. I di well at dressing to hide the areas I hate most, but when the clothes come off you can't really hide. I'll be honest, I was able to enjoy it more when her husband webs down on me, and I LOVE being with other women, because I didn't have that nagging sense of comparison. I don't really know what to tell you other than dress in a way that YOU feel sexy and beautiful, and let that feeling take over for you. It's amazing how beautiful you can feel with the right dress! And I'm trying hard to let go of my own body issues because there's lots of fun to be had and I don't want to miss out!
  2. Tom - we've gotten swept up in the moment before and did more than we were ready for. I just don't want that to happen again, hence the nervousness of a new situation. And yes, it was that time of the month for me.
  3. Thanks for sharing your story... my SO and I are newbies to this all, and pretty set in soft swap being the farthest either of us is ready to go at this point. It's nice to be in a place (online) where we don't feel like the outcasts for it!
  4. Saturday, as I was broken and unable to play, we decided to skip our usual date night outing (a local swinger's club we enjoy hanging out at) and hit a meet and greet listed on SLS. In spite of the fact that we've been going to the club for almost a year now, we still consider ourselves to be newbies, and were more than a little nervous about the new setting. At the club, we know a lot of the regulars, and we feel like it's a situation where we're never pressured to do something we're not ready for. But this? Totally new place, totally new people... nerve wracking! When we arrive, we immediately see the table for our "group" and check in. So far, so good. It's immediately apparent who the swingers are (the group organizers had given everyone a token to wear to make it clear who was with "us"). Mr. Desert and I hit the bar for a couple of drinks, then start to wander. We were standing on the outside of the gathering, taking it all in, and were immediately approached by a very nice older guy. Soon we were part of a larger group, all talking and introducing themselves to us. It was definitely friendly and welcoming, although it also felt like somewhere there was a signal going out... "Hey! Fresh meat over here!" We always let people know that we're pretty new and still exploring, but I think that attracts people as well. It seemed like not too long after we were there, we had two different invites to attend private gatherings later in the evening. One was at a couple's house, and one was a hotel gathering. My nerves immediately hit super high gear. Were we ready for this?! IF we chose to get involved, there was only so much I could do, so I had the out of being unable to play, but Mr. Desert doesn't really have that out. He clarified with the host that there would be absolutely no pressure to be involved and that we could hang back and watch or participate as much as we were comfortable doing so. After a few whispered words back and forth, we decided to go for it. We figured that, if nothing else, we could make our escape while everyone else was engaged if we felt pressured. We got to the hotel and met up with everyone in the parking lot. Another round of introductions (there was a couple there that we hadn't talked to at all at the gathering) and then we headed up to the room. More small talk, then within minutes, people were already nekkid and heading to the bedroom. There were 5 couples there (including us) and I'm still not sure how everyone managed to be on the same bed! But apparently it all works out in the end. Mr. Desert stripped down and I was nearly there, and I was amazed at the casual, friendly, laughing atmosphere. A joke here, a few laughs there, and everyone was having a good time. We were close to the happenings, and a few of the men asked if it was OK to touch me. I was fine with it, but I appreciated that they asked and allowed Mr. Desert to give the go ahead. After most of the group finished, there was one couple on the bed (married to each other) and we laid down next to them. We touched some while he fucked her, and he commented quietly that this was what he liked better - two couples in a more intimate environment. After a while, they finished, and we all went back out to the living room area. One couple got dressed and headed out, and everyone else sat and chatted. It's obvious that they all know each other well, which was nice for us - I felt a little more comfortable with people who know each other, rather than a group of total strangers. The host talked to us some about swinging, and asked if we had any questions. He was so welcoming and so nice, and invited us to dinner or drinks one night, just so we could all talk and they could answer any questions. The hosts had to get home to the kids, so the evening was winding down. I ended up getting taken on a quest for cigarettes by one of the women and we chatted some as we wandered the hotel. Eventually we found the group again (we had't' taken a key to get back in - oops!) and Mr. Desert and I headed to get something to eat then home. It was definitely a fun experience, although at the same time, I wondered later if we would have been more involved if I had been able to play. That part makes me nervous, as once before, we've overstepped our boundaries with a couple we know from the club, and had to regroup quite a bit. All worked out well for us after that, but it was a rocky few days, and I definitely don't want that to happen again. It's easy to get caught up in the moment, and I want to make sure that, whatever we decide to do, Mr. D and I are both good with it. But we got to cross another "first" off of the list. The fun part was finding the couples on SLS and making some connections that way, too. If nothing else, at least two of the couples might become friends down the road, and that'll be good.
  5. I used to trim short, but then shaved and just love how it feels. I just wish I could manage to avoid the razor burn / bumps.
  6. We met almost 20 years ago in college and were very good friends then. Ms. moved away, and we lost touch, then a few years ago, Mr. found me again (the wonders of Google!) and we reconnected. After talking on and off for a year+, we discovered that we wanted more than just a long-distance friendship, and he packed up and headed west. The rest, as they say, is a disgusting love story, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
  7. This sounds very much like my SO and I. We have taken this journey very slowly, making sure that we're both OK with each step. We've made a few missteps along the way, but luckily are strong enough together that we have been able to regroup and reestablish our boundaries and comfort level. Enjoy your journey!
  8. We consider ourselves to be fairly new, although I just realized that we've been going to a local club for almost a year now. We've had a few experiences with other couples (largely same room play, although we've explored some boundaries with a couple we've met at the club), and have discussed how far we think we're comfortable exploring. For now, we have fun hanging out with our club friends, playing with a few of them now and then, and exploring what this lifestyle has to offer.
  9. I think Mr. Desert brought it up first, but not directly. We were talking about fantasies and I shared my fantasy of being with another woman, and our fantasizing went from there. Eventually he found the website for a local club, and after even more talking (and a few drinks!) we went for the first time.
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