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MacNfries

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MacNfries last won the day on April 26 2011

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About MacNfries

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 12/26/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    NC-USA
  • Interests
    trout fishing, landscaping/gardening
  • Swinging Experience
    We don't consider ourselves swingers, actually. We have had 3-somes & couple fun in the past.

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    MacNfries

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  1. One of the main purposes of dating a person, as I see it, is to consider that person for a long term relationship. If that is the purpose of dating your lady, now, it appears a lot of good advice has already been given regarding compatibility. The 2 of you are simply on 2 different plains, regarding sex. You'll either tolerate it and remain miserable, or you'll realize that this lady simply isn't compatible to your likes & interests. If there's a big age difference between the two of you, that helps explain some of it. Also, you've been married before; how much is this relationship similar to the failed marriage relationship? My wife and I did our swinging in college, so it made it easy to practice after we married. However, we found couple swaps, after college life, were often not as enjoyable as 3-somes, so our last dozen or so swings have been with individuals, mostly guys. My intention, in a MMF, has always been to bring her to a higher level of sexual enjoyment than I can do by myself. She likes 2 guys at once, and I enjoy arranging them when convenient. But, it's not our mainstream sex diet, by far. Sharing a mate isn't for everyone ... in fact, it isn't for most couples. Possibly it would help if the 2 of you could form some close relationships with another couple; it appears you prefer to have common interests (other than just sex) with those you have sex with, and that's kewl.
  2. I think a person may tend to be a bit more self-conscious when their spouse is in the room observing, thus interfering with their own concentration of "pleasure". So I tend to believe it could be a bit of both ... the spouse's presence, and ability to concentrate. Plus, don't leave out the fact that the male & female genders often approach sex and passion in different ways. This is mentioned in John Gray's book "Men Are From Mars ... ". Definitely worth reading while laying around a pool or something.
  3. Well, by golly, I guess that just settles it, then! "bon appetit" ...
  4. I'm saying that many men (myself included) find it a turn-on to see his woman swallow his cum from a condom. I'm not suggesting a guy swallow his own cum from a condom ... if that's how I'm reading your Q. LOL The point I was trying to make was that if a guy has a erectile problem simply because he is being required to wear a condom to have sex with a girl, a way to distract him from this would be to do something that's different and a turn-on. I was just using that as an example. Some ladies aren't in to swallowing a guy's cum. My wife enjoys various types of cum play because she knows it excites me doing it.
  5. The more people involved in a swing, the more likely one of the participates may have some kind of issue which could ruin it for everyone. We started off, while dating in college, with having couple swap sex with our friends ... worked pretty well. We also had some 3-somes (both kinds) those worked well, too. But, once we got married many of the couples we experienced were people we had not known for very long, or we only knew one part (M or F) of the couple. So we experienced times where someone (once it was me, actually) just wasn't into it so it was somewhat of a bummer for the partner without a partner. We've never had that kind of issue with 3-somes, however. Well, take that back ... sometimes the other female in a FMF was mostly interested in my wife. But we've never really had a downer with MMF's, and the sex between the 2 of us, afterwards, is something close to "awesome". Just try to remember that the wife is usually the focus in a MMF, to help maximize her pleasure; the dividends pay off later. Also, I enjoy being able to watch my wife without participating; she's very orgasmic anyways, and goes through ALL the tell-tell signs of orgasm, which I sometimes miss when its me doing the pounding ... Mac
  6. I'm not sure I could have sex with a woman without some kissing. I started thinking about this and I honestly can't remember EVER having sex with a woman without kissing her. That would throw my rhythm way, way off, maybe even affect my erection. I'm not sure because that simply has never happened in my entire life ... wow! As far as the cock getting soft once a condom goes on, obviously it's a psychological block; the primal urge for us men is to spread our seeds around as often and with as many as possible. So, one just needs a way to mentally unblock that mental distraction. For example, if a man sees a woman take a filled condom and turn it up and consume it's contents, most men immediately get an erection by seeing this, and I'm pretty sure if the woman places a condom on his erection hinting to her desire to do just that, this man is going to carry that image to his brain instead of the rejection of bareback sex. And it's likely that once he's had successful sex with a condom on a few times, his mental block will dissipate and everyone (especially him) will be happy forever. "Now, where's that condom. By the way, I take magnums!"
  7. Sexual experimentation is obviously much more common these days and even viewed differently than just a couple decades ago. You didn't go into much detail as to how involved your relationship is with this GF of yours. Are the two of you allowed to "date" other people or have you pretty much agreed to a monogamous relationship? Is this desire to see your GF more for your own gratification or to enhance her sexual pleasures as well? In general, the emotional (jealousy, envy, anger, etc) bullets you incur when you participate in cuckold activities is what "sharing" is all about. It elevates a couple's sexual stimulus to original or even higher levels. Unfortunately, some people don't handle the emotional bullets as positives, but as negatives, and it sounds as if you're one that currently would treat them as negatives. You guys are very young and in the infancy of your growing sexual curiosities, so involving others in your "play" is only logical. Still, until you're comfortable, if you really like this girl, I'd steer clear until you're more ready.
  8. There are a ton of reasons why she may not desire a MFM, and your efforts to get her to move forward (for your interest) is probably going to be futile until you uncover her concern(s). Could be concerns over damaging her marriage, getting a disease, getting hurt, damaging her reputation, etc. And if she has shown an interest in FF, that kind of hints as to where her outside, sexual interests are. At any rate, I'd let her choose the female, and don't feel surprised if she doesn't invite you bedside. Our experiences with FFM have been that about half the time the female involved was interested in other women only. But, we've had some good experiences with 3-somes in general. Possibly you could get her interested in attending a Swing Club function on their hospitality night just to meet some people face to face and talk. No sex ... just relaxed talk. If either of you meet someone you like, swap e-mail/phone info and go from there. But, as I said, until you uncover her concern for MFM, I think you're only going to be frustrating yourself.
  9. Am I understanding correctly that your husband's erectile issue, you think, is because he may have psych problems with you being with other men? If so, why not concentrate on MMF's until you see that he's become comfortable with you being with other men? My wife & I found the threesomes a lot easier to arrange and have overall positive results than with couple swaps. Unfortunately, with the FFM's, about half the time the females were interested in FF and my wife is really not all that into FF's. It most definitely sounds like a little mind problem (bump as you say), but it's an annoyance 'till it's resolved. Also, have you considered possibly using an erectile pills?
  10. I think it hass been known for a long time that men and women simply don't look at things in the same way. Back in 2002 my wife and I were vacationing on the Gulf coast and were laying out at the pool overlooking the gulf waters. My wife often takes reading material for when she sunbathes, and on this trip she had John Gray's paperback book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". I'd heard of it and its popularity, but didn't really get interested until my wife kept laughing and reading aloud some of the text from the book. I had to admit John Gray's analysis of the psychological differences in the way men and women look at issues and solve problems was quite correct. Its not specific to "swinging", but to the way we think, which makes it applicable to a lot of issues and challenges we run into with the opposite sex. Anyways, I might suggest you read an overview of the book, possibly the book itself, to understand why you have the issue you have. The book is even available in pdf format so you can read it on-line. Your specific concern is not unreasonable, but is resolvable.
  11. Too much sensationalized porn in our lives has de-sensitized our stimulators; its wrecking otherwise normal marriages and relationships. Porn is like any other addiction, as your addiction grows over time, it takes stronger and stronger visual/mental graphics in the brain to stimulate you. Quite a bit has been written on this, by the way. The neighbors, next door to us, went through that. He actually had to go to a porn de-tox type center for 6 months, then when he returned, the couple sold their house and moved away. Going along with this is the fact that we often tend to quit focusing and pursuing making our partners happy, and instead look for more ways and opportunities to feed our own addiction. Part of what "swinging" is all about, actually, is using the swinging activities to revitalize the otherwise, routine marital relationship. First few times I witnessed my wife having sex with another guy, the sexual high to both of us was like having sex with each other for the first time. nitro, what you seem to be hinting at, however, is a voluntary form of cuckolding, I think. You remain monogamous while you desire and encourage your partner to have additional partners. It stimulates the testosterone, adrenaline chemicals, and emotions in the brain; an addictive "high" ... sort of a power ball of emotions. And if you keep doing it, you'll find it takes stronger and more graphic images to stimulate you with your partner, to a point where you simply can't get stimulated with that partner anymore ... the "end game", which I rarely see discussed in these type forums. "End Game" discussions are not pleasant and are rare, as no one desires discussing the downside to their addiction.
  12. Swapping can be so darn complicated when you think about it. You have 4 people, and it only takes one of the four to not feel like the swap partner is for them, and it basically screws up the whole opportunity. Hey, personally, I have to be turned on by who's sitting across from me ... and it could be just about anything that could kill the deal with me ... hair, attitude, teeth, weird accent, etc etc. So I can't fault them for not desiring to go further. One day they'll probably meet a couple they want to be with and the exact same thing will happen to them. Some people just can't be open and honest for fear of confrontation or whatever. So, I wouldn't take it personal. Also, at least with my wife and me in the past, we've wanted to establish a friendship before getting down to "business", and that sometimes required more than one casual meeting. We prefer 3-somes more ... both MMFs and FFMs, although I've found in half the FFM cases, the other woman had the hots for my wife and not me, and my wife is not really into other chicks. So as they say "it is what it is" ... try to end future conversations with a friendly "take care" and just move on. Mac
  13. Well, they say the biggest sex organ is between our ears not our legs ... attitude is everything when it comes to enjoying sex. Sometimes it is difficult to get a partner to "open up" and tell you what's really the issue. Could it be that you're into a "routine"? Routine sex is predictable sex ... doing the same thing the same way every time, and it can get boring. If you are truly hurting her, are you spending enough time on foreplay to get her well lubricated? If she's not getting lubricated (not getting foreplay or not getting turned on by your style), that truly could be an issue. Plus, remember, its not nearly as hard to get excited and turned on with NEW partners, so you need to be providing her something special. As a couple, do you have other issues going on ... family, finances, differences of opinion in doing something, etc? Is she seeing one person more than anyone else, or staying gone from home for unaccounted hours at a time? Could she be romantically involved with someone else? This is more likely to happen if you allow her to swing alone ... go on dates, etc. Often happens when trust & honesty aren't the foundation of the marriage ... and it is a game changer. Could it be that SHE is having more sex and sexual partners than you, and you're a bit jealous of her? Hope the two of you can resolve the issue. Maybe it is time the two of you take a break ... hiatus ... and focus on reestablishing your relationship. It is hard to do with other people around as distraction.
  14. You might wish to check out the word "wittol" ... its an old word that refers to a man who knows and accepts his wife's infidelities. Cuckolding may or may not involve cheating ... it simply refers to a married man who's wife has sex with other men. The husband may or may not know, but the fact that she's married and having sex with other men gives him the cuckold title. Hot wife just identifies the married woman (not the man) as having sex with other partners (male or female). I kind of think of cuckolding as one-way swinging ... the wife has other sex partners while the husband remains monogamous. Now for the twisters: Words tend to take on broader meanings over time, particularly the word cuckold over the past 10 years or so, I imagine due to the internet and huge availability of websites & info related to cuckolding. Now, women can become cuckolds as well as men ... I use as examples Sandra Bullock and Elizabeth Edwards, who's husbands cheated on them, and these women referred to themselves as "being cuckolded". Also, single couples, who are in supposedly monogamous relationships, can practice cuckolding as well ... both the cheating kind, and the voluntary kind. One partner remaining monogamous while the other partner includes others in their love play. Hope this helps a bit in your understanding of cuckolding ... its really difficult, sometimes, to hold a conversation with people about a word that has different meanings to different people. Mac
  15. My wife & I prefer the 3-ways a lot more than any other; you put couples together and there's that extra chance that someone (1 out of 4) will not be happy, or as turned on, or in the mood, whatever. So, with 3-somes, if one of us (wife or me) is not in the mood, we can allow the other to have a good time with the selected partner, whether it is male or female. My wife loves to be "skewed" (a toy at each end), and I love the feeling of sloppy seconds. Gosh, finding a outside partner that both of you feel comfortable with is what should be preferred. It takes some time to adjust to a new face ... and establish the same trust, etc that you have with a regular outside partner. Remember, the whole point of all this is that everyone involved have a good experience. My wife and I still play with one of her old BFs from college (also he was my x-roommate and responsible for my wife & I meeting). That's been over 17 years now. Our most frustrating thing is working around our teenagers ... they can't be dumped off at the grandparents anymore, and we just never know when they'll show up unannounced. So the wife & I have slowed way down on our "play" the past 4-5 years, but always look for the opportunities.
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