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Newbie_Guy

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About Newbie_Guy

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/28/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Canada
  1. That's exactly what I was thinking! This much I know, our friends are the aggressors. (And you can group me in with them) My wife is the slowest moving member of the four of us, not that there's any problem going at her pace. How do I balance our rules without making them think OMG, is it even worth it. Who wants to be considering 18 rules when you’re suppose to be enjoying yourself? Though not set in stone yet as my wife and I have more talking to do this is where I think things will end up. We don't want to swing every time we get together. If everyone is in the mood fine but it's not to be expected by either couple. The women will be free to do what they want together. It's not fair but women rule in this world. If they're both good with it, go for it. The other man is to follow my wife's lead. He's not to be the aggressor. If she goes from blowing him to fucking him it's fine with me. I don't want him to just mount her from behind if she's doing something with me or his wife. It's ok for him to do whatever as long as my wife is calling the shots. Right now, my wife isn't comfortable with me fucking the other women. Our rules may change. We may throw rules out or add rules in once things progress. That’s it... easy and too the point. Then obviously we'd expect to listen to any rules they have. This is about my wife and I. I don't feel I should have to break everything down for them (other couple) and I really don't need to hear about how or why the other couple got to where they are. Lets just have fun! If it can work (in a drama free way) we'll play. If not, we're still friends.
  2. So a short conversation with the who's and the how's should do! See my only fear (and I may be over analyzing things) is I don't want the discussion to become a negotiation. Or to feel like a negotiation! Or to come across as if our friends should feel privileged that we're willing to play with them. Like I said we're still a ways away. I want to have all our ducks in a line before we go ahead. We're vanilla friends so we do find ourselves in a threesome situation from time to time. (not that kind… lol) For whatever reason one of us can't make it to a social event but the other three can. What are the rules if one of the four isn’t there? Would you discuss all this with them or just the big stuff? What we can and can't do?
  3. Do you guys think we need to sit down and officially discuss “rules” with our friends? At first I thought communication with all involved, all four of us sit down. But now I just don’t know. The more my wife and I talk the more I realize this is really about us and it’s not about these friends at all. We’ll do what we’re comfortable doing. I don’t really see why we have to lay it all out for them. I can do this she'll do that. Man, that just seems like work! If the other women asked me to fuck her could I not just politely say no, we’re not there just yet, and then do something else with her? Don’t get me wrong, of course we’ll discuss things. We’ve been doing so since the two women hooked up years ago. We're close friends so we're not shy. I’m just not sure we need to sit down and have the official TALK! I'm not sure they NEED to know EXACTLY what's going on in our heads. Isn’t that for us to know?
  4. Just a real quick update. We're communicating! Slowly, which is fine by me! We're establishing OUR ground rules. My wife has expressed that she did enjoy herself and she does want to "play" some more. The other couple are also our vanilla friends and my wife has said she doesn't want to end up in bed every time we get together. I totally agree with her. She knows where I'm at boundary wise. I don't have any restrictions on her. If she's having fun she can do whatever she wants with either of them. She's still thinking about where she is at. I want to know exactly what is and isn’t acceptable for me to do with the other women. I want to be clear so there's no confusion. She’s told me she's not ready to see me fuck the other women. I'm totally cool with that. I think I’m free to do everything else. I'm not letting it go at just that. I told her I need to know exactly what is aloud. Me performing oral, masturbation, me getting oral, toys ect ect? Specifically what is and isn’t aloud. Once we know the rules I'll never break them. That way fun can be had by all. I don’t have to wonder if this or that is really ok. We still have things to discuss. My wife has asked for some time to think. When we have it figured out, we'll sit down with the other couple. If it works for them we'll continue on.
  5. Ummmm bbarnsworth, you really need to join us in the hot tub! Thanks so much for the advice. It's what I was looking for and more. Are cheat notes permitted?
  6. Thanks for the responce bbarnsworth. What I don’t want to do is come across as pushing her. I do want to have additional swinging experiences with her but don’t really care if I don’t. Does that make sense? If I keep pushing her to talk this through will I not come across as pushing her in general? In everyday life we communicate very well. We work through decisions for our household as a team. I’ll wait until this weekend. We’ll sit in the hot tub and I’ll try to get a dialog going with her again. I seriously believe she’s all good with what happened. I’m certain of that. But I’m not certain where I stand. By that I mean I did things with the other female half. I used a toy on her, fingered her and sucked on her tits. She blew me and jerked me. I did not perform oral on her and I did not fuck her. I agree we need to clear this up. I’m ok with her having sex with both of our friends. Because we haven’t discussed it I’m not sure my wife is ok with me fucking the other women. I’m sure assumptions have no place in swinging. Just because I’m ok with her doing something doesn’t mean she’d be ok with me. Just because she’s ok with seeing me get a blow job, I can’t assume she’s ok with me performing oral sex on the other women. So I agree, more communication is needed! Oh and I wasn’t being too serious when I said I’d show her this post after. By after I was referring to getting her a harness. I was just sort of trying to be funny.
  7. Sorry about starting a new thread. For some reason I’m not able to respond in my own thread. I get a message saying I do not have permission to post in this thread. It’s strange because I am able to add a reply to any other thread. I did want to post an update and respond to the advice I was given so Moderator please feel free to merge this thread into the other one. As far as drinking goes I’m sure it didn’t hurt. I know their first experience definitely fueled by heavy drinking. Everyone was pretty much bombed. This second time it wasn’t nearly as big of a factor. For one thing we started playing early afternoon. We had all had drinks and I’m sure everyone was buzzing a little but I know for sure nobody was drunk until late in the evening. Hours after the playing was in full swing, pardon the pun. The second thing that makes me think alcohol wasn’t a huge factor this time is my wife made a comment that she didn't feel very good on Sunday. I asked if she was hung over and she said no, she wasn't very drunk last night. She said she thinks she got too much sun. Yesterday after the little guy went down we had the chance to talk. I asked her if she felt guilty like last time and she said no, not at all. I asked if she enjoyed herself and she said ya, it was fun. She gave me a quick smile and started talking about something going on at her work. I believe she’s just the type of person that doesn’t like to go over things and over things. She told me she’s fine with it, she said she had fun, she's been acting totally normal, in fact she seems to be in very good spirits so I think I’ll just leave it be. I have no reason to doubt what she's saying. Everyone says listen to your spouse. She's saying it's all good so? Like many people here have said before me, after our friends went home we fucked in our family room like we were 18 years old. We were so into each other. Maybe in a month or so I’ll buy her a quality harness for her sex toys. Just a not so subtle way of saying if the wind were to blow that way again I’m ok with it. Then I'll show her this thread (these boards)! Thanks for the advice.
  8. I’m very excited about the fantastic Saturday my wife and I had with some close friends. I won’t go into detail as this first post could easily become a novel but I do need to give some background information. A few years ago my wife and I went for dinner and drinks with another couple we’re close with. A little bit too much to drink and just the perfect storm of a night lead to my wife having her first bisexual experience with our friend. The guys just watched watched in awe as our beautiful wives had sex. The next day I was floating on cloud nine. Telling my wife it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. She really seemed to take a step back. Weeks later she told me it really bothered her and it wouldn’t happen again. I was disappointed but really didn’t push at all. Although I have brought it up from time to time she always shot the idea down instantly. This past weekend we had the same couple over. They came over early in the day and we enjoyed it sitting by the pool. Again we were drinking… We ended up sun tanning nude. Things progressed! This isn’t a first time story post but some of the things that happened are: I fingered both women at the same time, both women performed oral sex on both the men at the same time, both women went “skiing” (lol, masturbated both men at the same time), my friend went down on my wife and the girls had sex including oral and the use of many sex toys. The strange thing is we didn’t move to a bedroom or commit to anything. Things just kept happening all day and evening long. One of the women would give the other guy (not husband) a BJ for five or so minutes and that would end and then nothing would happen for a half hour until the next thing just happened??? The only thing that really went on was when the two girls had sex. They once again put on a hell of a show! So here lies my question. Last time I acted all excited. I actually thought my wife would want to hear how sexy she was, how turned on I was and most of all how much I loved her. That only seemed to make things worse. So this time I never said a word the next day. We went to grandmas to pick our little one up and everything is just fine. I did bring up the weekend Monday night. All I asked was if she had fun last weekend and she said ya, it was a fun weekend. So do I just leave it? I’m already hoping it’s not two years until our next encounter. Having said that, if that’s all she’s comfortable with I’ll take it because wow, wow… wow! Should I just leave things be or do any of you have any advice on how to broach this subject with kid gloves. I want to get together with the other couple again yesterday, but I don't want to pull the emergency break again! Sorry for such a long post!
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