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swing.kidz

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swing.kidz last won the day on September 29 2014

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About swing.kidz

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 08/09/1981

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    CA

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    swingkidz
  • Kasidie Username
    goofballs

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  1. We have swing friends who are also friends in our normal lives. These friends are also a big part of our (young) kids' lives. So, yes, we'd play with them while our kids were sleeping (we actually have done this pretty regularly). We have video/audio monitors in their rooms, and we know their sleep patterns pretty well...plus, we're not afraid to explain and/or dismiss the situation if our kids happened to see something. And considering who these people are to our kids, it's not that shocking or unusual for mom and dad to have a "sleep over". However, we wouldn't host a new couple(s) with our kids at home, and we'll definitely not host a party. As I imagine all parents here know, there isn't a blanket rule to follow in most situations. Each scenario requires some critical thought, common sense, but also pragmatism and reasonableness. Many of our swing activities can take place with the same level of privacy as our individual sex lives do.
  2. It might be fun! However, prepare yourself for it to go very, very south. Because, preparing for the worst is the only way you'll make a wise decision. If you can handle the aftermath, then have a great time! If you can't handle the fallout, then you know your decision.
  3. As long as they look good (to us), can hold a conversation and it's obvious (and clearly communicated) that everyone wants to be a part of the play time...then game on.
  4. Nice...the MRA/PUA trolls have officially infiltrated our little forum.
  5. I don't think it's entirely clear what you're asking for. In one post, it seems you're looking for advice on how to deal with your disdain towards men (I say "seems" because you never actually expressly state that's what you're looking for). But then after receiving some decent suggestions on how to go about doing just that, you criticize the advice. On the other hand, you tell us you know exactly why you dislike men because of some shit in your past and recurring experiences...yet all the while simultaneously telling us you martyr yourself for men by lavishly treating them to trips, professional hook-ups, etc. And of course they all treat you like dicks in response (right). So my question: if you already know what your problem is and you already know the source of the problem, and you also know that any advice you've already received here is insufficient (based on your 'only give productive advice' disclaimer) what then, are you asking for? Look, dude, we're not your 'sub'. To come to this board with a preconceived opinion that the advice you'll receive is bullshit, so much that you feel it's necessary to direct everyone's responses and then continue to criticize it with a tl;dr diatribe isn't only presumptuous, it's offensive. Take the advice you receive for what it is (anonymous, informal) and be thankful; use it if you want or not, whatever. You want something better? Seek professional help. That's your prerogative. But at least realize that every single person who responds on this board can only do so by taking time out of their lives to focus directly on you (and some of these responses are pretty fucking long, intuition897 lost an hour of her life)...don't then turn around and do exactly what you're saying men do to you, which is be an ungrateful, controlling dick. I apologize if any of that's harsh or equally offensive. There are a lot of fantastic, intelligent and compassionate people on this board and your approach to them really irks me. Now that I've said that, you'll probably not listen to this, but here is my recommendation to your problem anyway. It seems your approach to BDSM makes you incompatible with what's required for a good swinging experience. To invite another person (man) to have an equal sexual experience with your partner means he's gonna get pleasure out of it, regardless of how you feel or what you want (well, unless you totally sabotage it, I guess) So, since you have it all figured out and you're experienced in these lifestyles, then the only course of action is to jump right in! Temporarily shed your BDSM mentality, start inviting other dudes over and just go at it with them and your partner! Watch them both get pleasure out of it and check your negative emotions. Then communicate with your partner not as D/s. Talk about everything! Then, do it over and over and eventually you'll either habituate to it (or hopefully love it), or you'll never get used to it and continue to hate it. At that point you'll have a better idea of the direction to take your swinging activities.
  6. These poll results are pretty interesting. Without knowing the SB user demographics, I'm assuming it's skewed to Americans. And, I know there's no scientific approach to these polls, but I'd still love to see results from a more globally represented population. It would also be cool to see a cross-section of this population based on age/generation. I work in analytics, so this stuff always intrigues me.
  7. If we didn't specifically ask for a dick/pussy pic (pre-established relationship or not), but still received one, that person would be laughed at behind their backs and then filed away as a potential problem. Sorry if that's harsh. Responding with a nice unattractive genital shot to those who just can't take a hint sounds like a great experiment!
  8. Wait... What??? You gotta get out there!
  9. If they're lying to their spouse, then they have to be deliberately lying to you to make it work. And you'll never know the truth unless you independently verify it. Maybe that doesn't bother some people, but for my own ideologies, I don't want to be manipulated in such an easily avoidable way.
  10. Not to totally derail this thread, but holy crap! First, if her only hesitation to being on video is her fear of what you'll do with the video, then you should ask yourself why that's even an issue. A relationship based on mutual respect shouldn't leave one partner afraid of the intentions and motivations of the other partner. However, the fact that her fear persists leads me to my second thought: You know this isn't (and shouldn't be) all about you, right? You've said some things in your post (which I've highlighted) that are actually pretty alarming. Now, I'm not claiming that I know anything about your marriage or communication style, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest you might want to reevaluate the way you approach your wife...and let her drive the motivation of participating in swinging for once. I imagine your persistent requests for her to do things she doesn't want to do weigh heavily on her emotional health. Sorry for that.
  11. If it's in a city we want to travel to, we'll go coast to coast. That way if the party busts, we at least we have fall back activities and a hotel room.
  12. Sorry if I wasn't clear...sometimes after a few Saturday libations, I tend to ramble. But, ultimately what I said isn't exclusive to the lifestyle...nor was it meant to be. What I was saying is this: Many of us talk about how being in the lifestyle has complimented (if not completely revolutionized) our communication, honesty, and understanding of sexuality and relationships. So, assuming you've experienced the same benefits of being a part of this lifestyle, leverage these skills and apply them to all aspects of your life (hence the reason it is called a "lifestyle"). Talk to your wife, find out what she wants and is satisfied by, be honest about your physical limitations and the insecurities you have as a result, and go from there. Then, hopefully you understand that women don't need a dick to get off, you'll be on the road to satisfying her. I especially like this from Lionheart:
  13. Shit happens...for her, it has nothing to do with how "I want to satisfy her." Ultimately, I'd talk to her, find out what she wants, but also be honest about my physical situation. If I've learned anything from this lifestyle, it's that the girls' sexuality is extremely complex and flexible...no doubt we'd still have a fantastic time. My wife can forgive a case of the flaccids with a good oral and manual session. Bring in some dirty talk and her hitachi...maybe a few friends...it would be like I had no shortcomings.
  14. Have you always been this way? I ask, because until recently jealousy wasn't much of a problem...then something very specific took place that kinda triggered it in me. Wonder if something similar is in your case.
  15. Based on the info you've presented here (since we haven't heard his side), I'm gonna put a new label on this guy Greg...abuser. I don't think he's just a cheater, he's abusive. And now you say you have kids in this. Makes me wonder what else is going on. I recommend getting out and letting him have all the time in the world alone...if not for you, do it for your kids. You don't want them to have this as an example of a relationship for their own lives. And if it's any consolation, with his publicly wanton disregard for the person he's in a relationship with, he's not gonna do too well in this lifestyle...especially as a single.
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