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Pleasure King

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  • Content Count

    34
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Community Reputation

16 Good

About Pleasure King

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 12/03/1956

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Male half of Male/Female couple
  • Location
    Illinois
  • Occupation
    Heart Breaker
  • Swinging Experience
    <1yr.

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    Club 307
  1. I'd echo the comments about SLS being a good site to communicate with others and potentially meet the play partners you're looking for. However I don't know if meeting someone at a club or party gives you a person who's anymore "real" than a person online. True when meeting face to face you can get a vibe about others that you can't online. You can say yes or no to them in short order. Online communication can and normally will take a bit longer than the time it takes to slam a boilermaker or two. Having said that, just because you meet mano a mano doesn't mean there's no underlying drama with this person. Even after the Fruit-Of-The-Looms come off and the action starts who really knows if this person has a jealous lover or jilted spouse in their life? Clubs & parties can be very, no extremely superficial. Plus the fact that this environment doesn't really cater to those of a more introverted nature, especially if you're a guy, which is tantamount to being the child-molester at a PTA convention.
  2. Allowing your sex life at home to deteriorate. Getting off on the intense feelings during encounters but not allowing your mate be the benefactor of that increased level of passion. Masturbating in private over recent swing partners/ex-lovers but not having that desire carry over into your bedroom.
  3. You're correct in that oral being not that much different in intimacy than intercourse. It's just that seeing another man's penis entering your woman's vagina can be very unsettling for a man. And to a woman it can feel like cheating on her man even though he may be right there watching everything unfold. To some intercourse is the final barrier. It's one thing to see her lick someone's pole and have him cum in her mouth. She's in control. But the minute she lays on her back or gets on all fours for him she surrenders that control to him. She's completely giving herself to another man in the herd of men after her. At least on the surface it appears that she totally submits to him. That can really mess with some couples if they're not ready for it. So as at least one other person has said soft-swing is a way to ease into the swinging world. It's a barrier that people have to find their own way through. But it's way cool when a couple gets to the point of wanting a full swap.
  4. No you're doing what many men do in clubs and at parties; watching other men with your woman. Even if you only watch and never join in there's a tremendous bonding experience that goes on during that time. My girlfriend loves it when I'm talking to her and looking in her eyes when a guy is fucking her. It feels like he and I are both inside her.
  5. Good point. The bar is already much higher for males to have success in the lifestyle. Now they're supposed to suppress their true sexual identities as well?
  6. It's just a very primal urge in me to see and hear her in the throes of hot and steamy sex with another man. Hearing her scream, "Oh god please cum inside me!" touches something very deep within me. It's as if I'm inside her at the same time. The cuckold thing to me falls under the category of some things are meant to be only fantasies.
  7. Thank you for the advice and encouragement! What your wife did-clearing tables and such gave me an idea. I could offer to make beds! After watching an exhibitionist couple go at it I do compliment them afterwards for the opportunity to engage in some steamy voyeurism. I could offer to make the bed after they're done. Would be a chance to break the ice and just talk to people.
  8. Yes I do think a change in my approach would help. Meeting others online first would seem to be a much better way to connect with more potential playmates than in a club. There's a much greater variety of people on any given site than in any given swingers event. And I'm sure I'd make a much better connection initially in writing than stumbling and stammering through some nerve-wracking small talk. I know that although at times it feels like I am the only introverted male in the swinging world I know I can't be the only one. It's not something extroverts can really comprehend because socializing at bars/clubs is as natural as breathing for them. But for many "I"s a different approach is mandatory to find any kind of success in the lifestyle. Thank you for your comment.
  9. Good point. Swinging is supposed to be a team sport; at least in our household it is.
  10. Thank you for the very thoughtful comments. Yes I do need to find a niche. There's no dancing or dj there but I understand what you're saying. My social awkwardness has always been bars or clubs, not just sex clubs or parties. I do dance, but I really need to find something I can do to put myself out there in a good way. Right now I'm at the point of diminished expectations for me, not expecting sex but wanting most of all to simply meet a woman/couple where we feel at least a connection of friendship. I do compliment others there and try to be polite and cordial to all. It's just that when people start paring up there is no one wanting to be with me for me. Part of me wonders why I'm forced to be more outgoing when more extroverted people are not put out of their element at all. But I do consider this a good challenge with regards to personal development. Upon reflection I believe my perfect swing partner would be a woman who's husband/boyfriend was really into the lifestyle where she was having reservations. A woman who really needs a patient lover, a true friend with benefits kind of relationship. Thanks.
  11. I'll flat out admit it, I really hate the fact that as a reserved soft-spoken male I seem invisible at swing parties/clubs. I absolutely love seeing my gf have fun and also playing with her out in the open for others to watch. But my ability to attract swing partners is completely nil. No crying about it, it simply is what it is. I still have yet to believe that an overweight, introverted male (I'm an INFP for you Meyer's-Briggs devotees scoring @ home) can have fun to the same extent a more outgoing person can have in the lifestyle.
  12. I have a similar situation with my girlfriend wanting me to have my turn. We go to a club each week where she normally plays with a number of men with me present and enjoying every minute of it. She wants the roles reversed to have a FMF or more for me. Even in a swing club I suck at picking up women. Being a soft-spoken introverted male only accentuates my difficulty. I'm cordial and pleasant to all I meet but I don't seem to have that certain something that makes a woman/couple view me as a fun play partner. Sorry that I don't have any advice to give. Just know that you're not alone in your development in the lifestyle.
  13. It shows me that this "friend" is only that to the extent he can get his rocks off with your wife. No you do not want to get involved with someone who won't at the very least give you a slick air-brushed story of what happened. To me it wouldn't be out of line at all to tell your wife to have no contact with either one of them from now on.
  14. Yes you certainly have every right to be upset, with this "friend" as well as your wife. Even if you had sex with his wife previously he was undoubtedly using both of you under the guise of having a couple/couple relationship to get your wife into bed while shunting you aside. And I speak from experience from this having gone through something very similar. I do believe this happens more than some are willing to admit. How you deal with what your wife did is obviously up to you and your relationship. Just because she was sloshed doesn't let her off the hook. Especially with you not there she needed to have exercised greater self-control, knowing that alcohol and swinging are a bad combination. Some will say that liquor is the ultimate truth serum, uncovering someones innermost desires. I would say that rings true in this case. What I don't get is if the situation were reversed and this thread were started by your wife. If it were you going to the party alone and ending up in bed with the other woman people would be all over you. It simply has to go both ways; the rewards and responsibilities of swinging, as well as owning up to the transgressions.
  15. There certainly is a double standard in the lifestyle, implied or otherwise. Just because it wasn't mentioned earlier in the thread doesn't mean these things don't exist. Hotwifing, cuckholding, women having sex with different men in one session who in turn get bent outta shape when their man wants the same thing.
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