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swvacouplelookn

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33 Excellent

About swvacouplelookn

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 04/20/1973

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Southwest Virginia

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    swvacouplelooking
  1. Chalk us down in the "we won't play if we can't kiss" category also. In my opinion (hubby speaking) it's the normal course of foreplay that sets the table for sex that flows naturally and easily. We have had a couple of experiences where there wasn't enough kissing in the beginning (not that the other couple had a no kissing rule or anything) and things just didn't seem to go as well as when there's plenty of kissing and touching involved. I would even venture to say plenty of kissing plays a vital role in helping a man have and maintain solid erections during sex, if nothing else just from my own experience.
  2. No, it's no problem at all. I just wanted to clarify that either way the kissing wouldn't be a problem for either of us.
  3. We have run into something a bit different that raises issue with us. When we meet someone with whom we are not interested in playing, we always try to graciously and respectfully let them know we don't want to play, but that we still want to talk and/or become friends. Most people understand this and have no problem with it, but there are a few out there who can't handle rejection apparently. It's almost like "if you don't want to fuck me, then fuck you!" LOL But seriously sometimes it seems that if you're not going to sex someone you otherwise have no value at all to them.
  4. There wasn't anything major that happened with the MFMF arrangement. The other woman and I just aren't really attracted to each other. The other man and my wife click very well, though. So, when I said I didn't want to play with the other woman, we decided to try this route as an option. After trying it, though, we realize we really prefer playing together only. The MFM idea was just a way for wife to get to play with him again. The new thread title might be a little misleading. We really don't have any issues/boundaries with respect to kissing. In fact, the more the better!
  5. Oh, they can be fun for sure! But, it just doesn't really fit in with our goal of enjoying this stuff together. I know she had fun with him previously, but she just said something was missing with my not being there to experience it with her.
  6. Yeah, my wife and I have talked about it. She's the one who brought it to my attention in the first place. This isn't so much about being comfortable with him as it is wondering where his mind is. It's an odd thing to just come out and ask him, but I'm considering doing just that.
  7. Well, we didn't really hit it off with her, but he and my wife clicked pretty well. That's why we entertained the idea of her separate playdate and a possible MFM.
  8. We had one encounter where this couple had supposedly been in the lifestyle for years, however this guy was about as lazy, unskilled and unenthusiastic as you could imagine. He talked a good game (hell, his wife made him sound like a modern day Casanova), but was brutally lousy. It was one time I felt sorry for my wife! LOL Needless to say, I doubt this couple gets much "repeat business" if this was his best work. But, this is the only instance I can recall of someone being a poor sexual partner. Everyone else has been at least eager to learn if not already capable of the task at hand!
  9. Yes, I thought about the possibility that something behind the scenes has gone on with his wife. I know she plays separately quite a bit as well. I will consider asking him outright, although I don't want him to think I'm necessarily at issue with him. Your post raises another interesting observation, though. It seems everyone is most sensitive about something they feel they're not getting enough of at home. Another post for another thread, I'm sure...
  10. Wife and I have discussed an MFM with someone she had a solo playdate with recently. Actually, we had been with this man and his wife once previously as well. So, we're all familiar with each other, etc. The solo playdate was really more of a one time thing. We have decided we will only play together from here on out, not because of anything negative from the playdate, just because we realized we always want to be together. So having enjoyed this man's company, my wife asked him if he'd want to participate in an MFM. He said that he would definitely want to do that. He then asked what I considered a bit of an off question. (Keep in mind that they enjoyed quite a bit of kissing and making out on their solo date.) He asked her if I would be comfortable seeing them kiss that much when we're all 3 together. Now that might have been a simple innocent question, but it really rubs me the wrong way. To me, it implies that he feels they did something on their solo date that I wouldn't have approved. My wife and I both enjoy lots of kissing and foreplay with others, and I have seen the two of them together as well. So, I am a little puzzled by his question. I feel like there are three likely reasons he asked this: 1. He is expressing genuine consideration for my feelings (albeit he has kissed her quite a bit when we were all together). 2. He feels guilty like they did something HE wouldn't have approved of with his wife and a solo playdate in kissing so much, etc. 3. He may not be so much into the MFM, rather would want to have her by himself. He has definitely expressed interest in having her again! What do you guys think? It may very well be silly of me to question this, but I just have a weird instinct or something. It just struck me as a very odd question from him.
  11. Well it's been a good while since I posted this thread. I thought I'd update it. We have both since had a separate playdate, and all in all things went well for both of us. We both enjoyed our encounters. Having experienced it now and having all that discussion that led up to it, the funny thing is we both realized separate play was more of a curiosity for us. It ended up being one of those things that was better in fantasy land than in reality. There was something missing for us without each other present. So, we'll take our one separate experience each and wrap it up with fond memories while we continue to enjoy life's guilty pleasures together.
  12. To answer the question in the OP, yes in theory it SHOULD make us better at sex in general. Just to simplify it, seeing someone do something you never thought of adds a new element to your repertoire. Plus, having to take the time to "figure out" someone else with whom you have little or no experience forces you to expand your horizons in the first place.
  13. Yes, I do agree that the comfort and trust involved with friends cannot be matched in some club somewhere. However, I think if they can handle seeing someone else with their spouses in that environment doing it with friends should be much easier for them. It's really just mitigating risk within the already established friendship in my opinion. It will probably work out well either way, but at least this way they will know whether this is for them or not without risking the friendship.
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