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easleyfuncpl

Registered
  • Content Count

    27
  • Joined

Community Reputation

58 Excellent

About easleyfuncpl

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 08/09/1985

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Easley, SC
  • Interests
    Erotic Photography, Camping, Canoeing, Music, Dancing, Gaming, etc.
  • Swinging Experience
    13 months

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    easleyfuncpl
  1. Hubby here at 24 and wife at 23. Been swinging for over a year and have to say it was great for us.
  2. Your refusal to examine the offensiveness of your statement is actually proving my point, more than I ever could.
  3. You are simply not understanding where I'm coming from because you aren't reading what I am saying. I have never, ever said anything close to all people view blacks in a stereotypical manner. I also do not "preoccupy" my time blamming others for anything. I have never been in a position in my life to blame anyone for anything. I am rather privilleged and in most respects have had things come easy for me. Please do not throw these insults at me without actually reading what I am saying. I keep asking you to please quote where I have said these things, and you never come up with anything. My only other clue as to where you are making these assumptions comes from my blurb about my life experiences. What you responded with was a micro-invalidation (basically...I spend my life playing the race card and my experiences aren't relevant because of your friends). What I gave examples of were the daily microaggression which blacks/minorities face on a daily basis. I say all that technical jargon to make the point, again, that it is not my sole experiences. These are well documented, well researched TRUTHS in our society. Now where you took the step that I didn't is assuming that I let these daily truths stop me in any way shape or form. There is a difference between acknowledging a truth in life and letting it disable you. Can it be distressing...yes, has it been disabiling for me...certainly not. Is it disabling for some...yes. Do some people ignore it completely...sure. However none of these positions are more valid than others. What I HAVE stated over and over again is simply an answer to the posters question...the swinging world is no different than the real world. Discrimination and prejudice exist in the real world just as it does in the swinging world. I also chose to post about my experiences...NONE of which stated "people don't like me because I'm black," except for the one OBVIOUS example where they did (because they wrote it in their profile). and you post this about being open to Chiccup's post, yet you won't give me that same respect. i make this assumption because of your attempt to completely invalidate me in the first paragraph. I totally recognize that this thing is way off from where it was, and that what I am saying may be uncomfortable for some, and I sincerely apologize for that fact (however I think race should be talked about and not swept under the rug, yes, even on a site devoted to sex). What has made me the most passionate in this thread is that people's experiences are being invalidated, and someone said something that I found extremely racially insensitive and offensive (black women needing to specifically go up to the people that don't like them and sell themselves...as if this is their civic duty to help black women to look better to the ignorant...as if this works!). Either way clearly this isn't going anywhere because I am continually being misunderstood and it has become very frustrating due to the constant invalidations and support of an incredulous statement. ...so much so that I am contemplating leaving a site that I have enjoyed thoroughly. I can't be a part of a place built on the sharing of experiences where only some are valid. Also because in all of this, I look like the villan or angry negro dragging things out.
  4. I had it all quoted out and nicely written but then the browser messed up. I'm not going through all that again and I'm late for class. Anyway my reply to JUSTASKJULIE basically went like this: 1) Read through my first message before accusing me of coming off in anyway. I actually never talked about rejection (just blatant racial qualifiers in people's profiles). My concerns were mostly about being this mythical object or being a fetish that ranged on offensive because of it's stereotypical connotations. 2) I am a social butterfly at parties. It would have made more sense for you to ask me if I was reserved rather than sticking me in a category of blacks from your sole experience. I just don't understand the assumptions people make about people they don't know. 3) The "whitey" remark was made by my white husband. When he was writing it he was angry because, no Chiccup did not say we should all try to sell ourselves. He equated the fact that we DO sell ourselves (shaving, etc.) with the need to go out of your way to tear down SOMEONE ELSE'S racial stereotypes. While that was deplorable of him, it was just as deplorable to suggest that minorities need to prove anything to anybody. It is an individual's personal responsibility to examine how they view the world and question those views constantly. If someone holds a stereotype, it is their responsibility to challenge that belief. It is THEIR problem. Saying that black women should go out of the way to downplay any racial stereotypes that someone may have about them is blaming the victim. This is a particularly sore subject to me, and I'm sure also for other blacks that must integrate into the dominate culture in this society because you are constantly, constantly challenged to prove yourself. People learn that I graduated at the top of my class and am now in a respected masters program, they gasp. I open my mouth and correct english comes out and they are amazed. Yet I still get stupid questions from people that are ONLY rooted in racial stereotypes. Now I ask you, WHY ON EARTH at a swingers party should I go out of my way and deal with that kind of STRESS? Coupled with the fact that I knock down racial stereotypes by just being me, yet people still apply them to me. Me trying to prove myself to other people does NOT work. Someone's willingness to challenge their beliefs DOES. This kind of personal growth ISN'T gunna happen at a swingers party. It scares me how this view is being supported. But does not surprise me.
  5. So basically you said my wife should spend her days making sure that at every social event she is responding in a non-stereotypical way so that individuals like yourself don't have your racial views enforced? How come all racial minorities don't follow your simple advice so that racism can finally end? Basically they should make sure they don't worry whitey so that whitey isn't scared by those minorities. God forbid that they are actually are individuals and not just a collective hive mind of cultural stereotypes.
  6. ah so you assume I perpetuate this stereotype? I'd rather just be who I am. If you see what's not there because of skin color, you will see it no matter what. there is also a difference between showering, etc. and trying to knock down years of stereotypical mindsets. that's too much work to put into an activity that you can do with the loving partner you already have. like i said, and i'm sure other black women would agree, those people are not worth it. i never said because someone "blows me off" they are a bigot, even if they tell me it's because i'm black. i do believe i am the one that brought up the subject earlier of being a-ok with preference, as i have my own...but let's just ignore that so I can be accused of race card pulling. i don't think anyone has stated "whenever anyone blows me off it's because i'm black." in fact we all gave concrete reasons why we KNOW it was due to race (ie "NO BLACKS" in profiles). how am I playing any card here? ...and I believe it's uncomfortable for you because of the fact that you have on several occassions challenged someone's experiences and just attempted to negate them by calling it "playing a race card" without actually giving thought to their post. i would never presume to know your experiences better than you. why wouldn't you do the same? it's as if the idea that people do face discrimination bothers you. it has to be something else! you're delusional! how could someone possibly be offended by that?
  7. yup true also true. bigotry, discrimination, stereotypes...whatever you want to call the beast are a daily truth in this world. it is what it is. why do you seem so threatened by this fact that sarcasm was necessary? i can only assume that talking about such issues makes you uncomfortable. i think the idea that never talking about race or racism will make it magically go away is so laughable. the more open we are about the subjects the more ignorance and intolerance can be broken down. aren't you the one that said black women should go "sell" themselves to impress white couples? hah! on the other hand you are accusing me of...say playing the race card? i don't know how "NO BLACKS" on someone's profile is crying wolf. really i don't know what your point was. other than that this topic makes you uncomfortable.
  8. those people are not worth my time. i have no need to beg someone to like me (or screw me for that matter). in fact, that makes them instantly unattractive to me (but somehow that doesn't seem to matter?). the days of blacks/other minorities having to prove anything to anyone should be over. besides, i'm way too much of a catch (or so i've been told). and even if i were to knock down their wall of ignorance, it wouldn't make a difference for the next black woman that walks through their door. they'd have to prove themselves as well as the next one and the next. why do that when there are so many other (probably more attractive) people out there to fuck? write them off as ignorant and make someone else's night... that being said...yea there are ignorant people out there, but fuck 'em...oh wait no don't do that!
  9. That's stereotypical. Not all black women are intimidating. That's my biggest issue because I wonder if some of these people's objections to blacks have to do with negative, BS stereotypes (personality traits/characteristics) or an actualy lack of attraction to blacks. If it's the former that (to me) screams ignorance much more than the latter which (to me) speaks to preference.
  10. I totally agree with you pensacolapair. It is nice to see this subject here because those experiences you mentioned are probably not unique to many black swingers (at least those who try to integrate anyway). It is nice to see this board is so open to whatever as long as the attraction is there, but I know that is NOT the case everywhere. My husband replied earlier that we've had no problems (he's white, I'm black). Bless him he can be blind sometimes. 1) You will absolutely see in people's profile's "we don't do interracial" (so does that mean you would screw an all of one race couple?) "we only like white, hispanic or asian couples" (ie no black people...I feel those people are the worst. just say it) and "no blacks!" (how do I feel about this? thanks for being honest even though it does sting, but it's their preference. move on.) 2) At parties I can be this mythical object to most people. I have been gawked at and completely stolen the show when I go to parties and play with people I already know. But thats just it...no new people. You can tell men are attracted to me, but they just won't take the step...or they wait until their wives leave which is just weird to me. 3) And yes, you will get the "I only want to be with you because you're black" people. This can be quite annoying, and we tend to avoid people like that. So yes, there are issues that black couples will face in the broad swinging world, just as there are issues that blacks may face in their everyday world. My best advice is to do exactly what the poster did...which is ask the questions to people who know! Ask about clubs and parties. Read certs. Or just say screw it, go to the club, and just hope your personality (and your yummy curves) shine through. And this would have been a MUCH more interesting topic if someone had come out and said...you know what, I just don't prefer blacks. And, just to stir the pot I will admit it. My preference is with white men over all others. If I am at a party I am more open minded to all people, but I have hit the delete button a bit more readily when black males have messaged us showing interest. There. I said it.
  11. My wife is black and generally it has been more of a turn-on for the guys. Also we are in South Carolina and have been with couples from North Carolina and Georgia. Being black shouldn't be an issue at all, of course you find the one or two couples that are white only, but that is their lost.
  12. We are 23 and 22, been together for 4 years, married for 6 months and in the lifestyle for 4.5 months.
  13. I hate up close pictures of genitals, Penises are annoying, but there's nothing worse than the close up shots where the female has her legs are spread...and as if that weren't enough, someone's hand (who knows if it's hers) spreading the lips as well. I find that to be so trashy. I prefer pics where you obviously took some time trying to set things up, and even if they are R rated, they are still done in a classy way. Oh which reminds me, I also hate the pics where someone's figured out how to use Windows Picture Manager and they add stupid effects to the damn thing. I can totally tell what you look like with the pic all gray and embossed. Thanks.
  14. I think another problem you may have, which I don't believe anyone else has addressed, is that you place too much importance on looks. However, it seems that this is an unfortunate lesson you are learning now. No matter how hot you are, if you're just hanging back or not interacting socially with others you won't have as much fun as those that do. Consider this. My husband tells me I am usually one of, if not the most attractive female at parties. While in my normal lifestyle I am quite reserved and shy, when I swing I am extremely socially adept (this came with practice, practice, practice as someone said earlier...also being comfortable being sexual). Often the male half of a couple will come up to me alone and after interacting socially, we will begin to play. Most often then not after a bit, the wife comes to see what the husband is doing and begins to act in a possessive manner. The husband usually just ignores the wife which makes me feel extremely awkward so i'll make an excuse to break away. I have learned that unless the wife is preoccupied with someone (or something in some cases) it's hands off. If you came up to me somewhere, and even if I found you charming and sexy, if your wife was just sitting off somewhere I'd feel really uncomfortable engaging either one of you. IMO, from the other side of the fence, people may think it could start some drama...which is never a good ingredient at a swingers party. Since we don't have insight to your wife's take on this, I won't presume to assume that she is insecure, uninterested, or anything else. I have never, ever been able to relate to women very well and have had male friends all my life. I am very select with the females I do choose to hang out with, and I am BI. For me, I had to just learn how to engage in small talk and just be generally comfortable being sensual. Swinging has actually helped me out in my everyday vanilla life as I am now much more social than I ever have been. I think the more experiences you guys have, this will just come naturally to her. Don't be frustrated and just have patience.
  15. We told our friends and they weren't surprised. Heh, what does that say about us?
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