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NumbskullsX2

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NumbskullsX2 last won the day on May 10 2008

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About NumbskullsX2

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    Couple
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    Columbus, OH
  1. I didn't mean to sound snarky. Maybe I didn't understand the question. You posted an ad on a swingers website where men outnumber women 50-to-1, and you're surprised that you received so much attention? Count your blessings. How would you have felt if NO single males had replied? You admitted to having "steamy chats" with some guy you've never met, then complained because he tried to contact you on SLS, Yahoo, and e-mail. How did he get your Yahoo and e-mail addresses, if you didn't give it to him? And why did you give it out, unless you wanted to be contacted by him? I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time believing that all this attention you're receiving is really a "problem" for you. But in fairness to the single males, maybe it IS better that you have them all blocked. They get gamed enough by the hustlers in this business, no use them wasting their time with all this drama as well. Block them, and send a polite but firm "sorry, not interested" to the ones who crash your profile. The suggestion about including your photo applies to anybody looking for a mate on the internet.
  2. That's how it's going to be forever. Women will ALWAYS have an easier time giving away sex than men will. Always, always, always! Is there enough money in your household budget to pay for an apartment or another car payment? Being able to help with a woman's living expenses will go a long way towards leveling the playing field when it comes to finding YOU a "playmate" IMHO, because of the different roles men and women have in society, "open marriages" don't offer the same opportunities to men as they do to women unless the men are permitted to play with an "open checkbook" as well.
  3. Re: single girl getting bombarded by the single guys Isn't that the purpose of going on a swingers website in the first place? They're not the ones who are desperate. Most of them are probably not even single, just looking for something cheap ("free", actually) and easy on the side. They don't have time to "date" in the conventional sense, so they look for relationships that don't require a lot of investment of time or money. IMHO, that pretty much defines single women who advertise on swingers websites, and the types of relationships they seek (or are willing to settle for). If getting too many responses is really a "problem" for you, try placing an ad on one of the vanilla singles sites. Make sure to include a clear (and recent) full-length picture of yourself. That should "qualify" the people who respond, and make the number of guys who reply more manageable.
  4. A phobia is a "persistent, excessive, unrealistic fear of an object, person, animal, activity or situation." I can't be a homophobe because I'm not afraid of guys who rub their junk against other guys junk. It's just not my thing is all. If it's what you're into, grind away. I'll just wait in the other room with the "extra" female. If there are any "phobias" around here, it's the one regarding guys who are afraid to admit they enjoy male-to-male genital contact.
  5. Playboy Magazine??? Now THERE'S a name haven't heard in a while! My DAD used to read that.
  6. It must be a cultural thing. We know one woman who is into that, and she also says it's a lot easier to find black guys who are into GB's than white guys. I don't know if that's because of her shape (she's a very large woman, probably 250 or so) or what, but when she goes into a club, basically she is ignored by white guys, while "da brothers" are all over it. I wonder why that is?
  7. I guess I don't think of it as "participation" unless your doing this with somebody your in an emotional relationship with. The more committed your relationship, the more of a "swinger" you have to be to participate in this. I'm not "dissing" singles, I just don't consider them swingers, that's all. In my mind, a swinger isn't a guy who has sex with another mans wife or girlfriend. It's a guy who lets other men have sex with his. Otherwise, what's the difference? I think that calling singles who go to swing clubs "swingers" is like calling guys who pay air-guitar "musicians" or guys who play fantasy football "coaches"
  8. If your wife wants to try this and you're OK with it, you SHOULD! Don't let some guy on the internet a thousand miles away tell you what you should or shouldn't do! If that means I don't get to be the third, that will just be my loss, I guess. To be honest, I'd have to be pretty drunk to want to do it anyway. I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding somebody to help you out. The screen name derives from the fact that my wife and I were both the first from our respective families to graduate from college. (Criminal Justice/Phys Ed and Pediatric Nursing, FWIW)
  9. OK, I give up SecretAsianMan. Maybe something's getting lost in translation or something. What do YOU call people who participate in gay/homosexual/bisexual behavior? Back here in my neck of the woods, we call them gays/homosexuals/bisexuals. Pretty convenient, huh? BTW, we do that for almost all other behaviors. For example; People who "participate in shopping" are called "shoppers" People who "participate in jogging" are called "joggers" People who "participate in swinging" are called "swingers" NOOOO, SecretAsianMan, they CAN'T be lumped into "the same broad definition" because those activities are not inherently sexual in nature nor are they intended to lead to sexual gratification. Maybe this is just a "midwestern thing," but if you rub your genitals against somebody else's, we assume it's for your sexual pleasure. If the person is of the same sex, we call those people "homosexuals" or "bisexuals" That's not a good thing or a bad thing, it's just a word we use to help identify or remember certain people, OK? Like "tall" or "short" or "blonde" or "hung" Then you need to re-read the original post. The "question" (as I understood it) was about how hard it would be to find another male who was into penis-to-penis contact for the purpose of DVP and whether it implied bisexuality on the part of the males. I think it does, but that doesn't make it bad, unless you have an aversion to bisexual males. (BTW-we don't, under most circumstances)
  10. Your argument sounds almost word-for-word loike the ones we get all the time from "married men playing alone". "My sex drive is much higher than my wife's" "I would include her in my lifestyle, but she's not interested. And NO, you can't ask her about it" "She knows I'm doing this. She just doesn't want to know the details" If we were looking for a single male, we would actually be MORE sympathetic to the "married but plays alone" male, because we know how tough it is to leave a stagnant marriage. A guy who wants to be in the lifestyle, and is merely dating a woman who isn't is wasting his time AND hers. And OURS. So back to your original question - "Single male "swingers" ... what defines them (in your eyes) and what makes them different from "regular" non-monogamous single males in society?" Answer - With very few exceptions, there are no "true" single male swingers, only single male "wannabe's" and single male "don'twannashares" What makes the "wannabe's" different is that they spend WAYYYY too much time (and money) trying to break into this lifestyle. What makes the "don'twannashares" different from your average, "marriedbutplaysalone" male is that the married male is probably trying to preserve some vestige of family life but the "dontwannashare" is just trying to play both ends of the fence.
  11. I still think you make your bones as a swinger when you participate in it with someone you love. Not just "like," but LOVE. I had a couple 3-somes as a young man. (they found me, I didn't go lookig for them) They took a little "adjustment" on my part, but neither one was anywhere near as much of a mind-fuck as the first time I watched my lovely wife with another man. Not even close! You said you've "never been involved in the lifestyle as half of a committed couple." If you met the man of your dreams, and were in the relationship of your dreams with him. Could you still be in this lifetsyle with him? THAT'S how you know when your a swinger.
  12. Welllll, ummmmmmmmmmmm, YEAH! Although technically, if you also enjoy "physical pleasure" with men, I suppose youd be considered "bisexual" But yeah, if you like to do women (even sometimes), you could go into a lesbian bar and it would be cool. Look at it this way - Suppose a gentleman arranges an MFM for his woman, and one of the things they do is a DVP. No problem in that, rubbing his weiner against the other male "doesn't mean he's gay", according to most of the responses so far. Now, what if the other male is a 13-year-old boy? All of a sudden the older male is a pedophile. Do you think the jury is going to believe that "the contact between their penises was just incidental" and that the older male "was doing it ONLY to please the woman, and wasn't receiving any personal pleasure from his contact with the boys penis?" Sure. Good luck with that one! I think ANY reasonable person would find that the older male was as much to blame as the female, and received pleasure from the boy's participation.
  13. Nothing, because there is no difference. Most single guys like to fuck. If they're horny enough, they'll fuck anything. Fat women. Old women. Other guys wives. Other guys AND their wives. Guys dressed up like other guys wives. Single males will fuck anything and anybody, and those who hang around swingers clubs and websites aren't "swingers," they're opportunists. Nothing really, but if a single guy were to say "Hey, would any of you like to fuck my girlfriend? I'll just stand here and watch" he might have a little more credibility as a "swinger." NOW we're getting to the heart of the matter, the "litmus test" that defines whether you're a swinger or not. I think you answered your own question "Single male swingers" do NOT have "monogamous relationships" with women who are not in the lifestyle. This lifestyle is obviously a very important part of your life. Why would you want to be in a "monogamous relationship" with somebody who doesn't share it with you? Is it like Julie said, that you "respect your woman too much" to bring her around people like us? Personally, and this is just my own, PERSONAL opinion, I think ALL swingers start out as couples. I believe it's the only way you can truly know all the emotions and issues that are involved in this. Sometimes, when a person becomes single either through death or divorce, they can continue in the lifestyle as a "single swinger" if they choose. We know 2 males and 1 female who did just that for a while, but now they've all dropped out until they find new partners. I don't think you can go from being a "single male" to a "single swinging male" without passing "Married swinging couple"
  14. I consider myself open minded and "secure". Somebody ask a question about whether double-vaginal was "too close" and I answered it from MY perspective, that's all. For me, sex with a woman is a peak experience, "as good as it gets." Having another guy hump my leg, or hold my balls or rub his weiner against mine while I'm having sex doesn't make it any better for me, it just distracts me from what I'm doing. In fact, it distracts me a LOT. Maybe I'm lucky that my wife wouldn't be comfortable with 2 guys "my size" inside her. Or maybe she's lucky, I don't know. As it is, we're a pretty good fit. If she "needed 2 to fill her up," I don't think it would be much fun to be "just the 1" the rest of the time.
  15. I guess it's all a matter of degree. A pat on the ass or a hug when you've won a sports championship probably won't raise any eyebrows, but if 2 guys run onto the field and start rubbing their weiners together until they both ejaculate, the fans are probably going to say, "Gee, I never knew those guys were gay" Who knows, it might start bringing people back to the ballparks:lol: It dosen't. Personally, I'm into sheep. As long as I'm doing it for the sheeps pleasure and not my own, I figure they can't arrest me for beastiality If you don't know, I certainly can't tell you. It just has gay overtones, that's all. I wouldn't hang my hat on the "no actual contact" thing if I were you. If the other guy wants to fuck you in the ass, but tells you "Don't worry, it doesn't make you gay since there won't be any actual contact between my penis and your bum" you should tell him "NO WAY, JOSE`!" Unless that's what you want, of course. If they knock together a few times, it's probably an accident. If they keep knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, and knocking, until you both cum, you ought to at least kiss the guy when it's over. You probably ought to kiss the girl, too, so she won't think you're gay. Probably neither. If you're a single guy over 40, it probably just means you're "situationally aware" You know how tough it is to hook up with couples of any age, especially attractive ones. You also know that you are one of a thousand single guys out there, which means that they're calling the shots. If it's weinie rubs they want, it's weinie rubs they'll get. If not from you, then from somebody else. The same with teabagging and snowballing. A guys gotta do what a guy's gotta do to get laid.
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