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Jello shot conundrum! When to say yes or no?

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Last night we went to a house party. The house rules were:

1. no means no

2. all jello shots must be body shots

3. don't leave it sticky (after the jello shot).

 

So they bring out the jello shots and the host and my husband start it off, each doing one off my breasts. Fine, no problem, I like the host well enough.

 

Other people get in on it with the jello and the party continues. As time goes on it's somewhat interesting because the jello shots seem to be an event in themselves and not really moving play along, everyone puts their shirt (or pants) back on and goes back to the kitchen after the shot.

 

Here's where my question comes in. Three different people approached and asked to do a shot off me. Two were people I didn't know at all and was not attracted to at all. One was someone I played with 2 years ago, and have brushed off every time I've seen him since. I am not interested in playing with him. All three I just said, "No thanks." At one point the girl next to me said, "I never say no."

 

At that point I just felt so awkward and anxious! Unfortunately, none of the people I was interested in/chatting with were doing jello shots and none seemed interested in me.

 

My husband did shots off a bunch of girls, some of them he wasn't interested in playing with, some he was.

 

So, my question is, should I have said yes to everyone? It's not really a big deal. But, I definitely didn't want to play with any of the guys who asked, and I didn't really want their mouths anywhere on me. Is that ok or am I a prude?

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At one point the girl next to me said, "I never say no."

Sounded like the perfect time to grab her arm and gently nudge her towards the guy that asked you and say "Here's a lovely lady that would be more than willing to let you do a shot!" ;)

 

 

 

So, my question is, should I have said yes to everyone? It's not really a big deal. But, I definitely didn't want to play with any of the guys who asked, and I didn't really want their mouths anywhere on me. Is that ok or am I a prude?

 

I don't know. What was the first rule of the party again?

:)

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You're certainly Not a prude! There's nothing wrong with saying no in any given situation.

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"No thank you" is gracious. And that is all that ever is required. For folks who press further, direct their attention to rule #1. Showing up at a party carries no obligation to do anything with any person.

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I can see your conundrum.

 

You have a sort of "social swinging" kinda thing vrs the actual play type. House parties make it harder to say no to the social aspect of it. In non-swinging terms its like being on a diet and refusing to eat someones birthday cake. Some people actually do get offended by that, no matter how politely you say "no thank you".

 

When you say no to the cake, some people will find reasons to be offended by it. I would look at it as a there problem. You have what you want and that didn't include cake, or in this case, some unattractive person licking your tits. As such, while perhaps some may think of you as a prude or "non-fun" or "a stuck up bitch", who cares? Life is full of assholes and dickheads, no reason to make those people happy unless you have to.

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There is a reason the first rule is what it is. You shouldn't feel bad for saying 'no' at any time for whatever reason. I know, easier said than done. Even if it's a social aspect only (since you said the jello shots were an event in themselves), it's your body and if you don't want someone's mouth on it, it's fair to say no. Plus, I think if you had said yes, you'd give these guys whom you have brushed off all these times a reason to approach you again, and that just causes more awkwardness for you later.

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Not interested means not interested, and that includes jello shots too, so I wouldn't worry about it.

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I can see two sides of this. On one hand it's just a jello body shot..nothing intimate about that (relatively speaking) on the other hand it could be interpreted as an invitation to go further. From what I have experienced, it's just a jello shot, nothing more. But if you are uncomfortable for any reason then no is fine.

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I have seen Jell-O shots offered primarily at clubs and just occasionally at a private party. Any place I have seen them, women would be un-dresses or at least partially undresses and invite people to place shots onto them. It is a bit out of my experience to know that somebody would get back up and dress themselves again after removing clothing, except maybe to wrap themselves with a towel or sarong. Also seems odd that somebody would ask you to undress just so that . . . .

 

Seems Pretty cheeky that a woman near you would chide you for not doing something for the simple reason that she had done it -- such things are generally said by teens during their socially-awkward years

 

Don't know what else to say.

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I would look at it not from the standpoint of "would I (or do I) want to play with this person?", but simply "do I want this person licking me in any way?". If the answer tot he latter is "No", then the answer to their question is "No", regardless of whether or not there is any thought about playing. It sounds like the jello shots were not really part of play (whether they were intended to be or not) anyway, so it's not a big issue there. However, there are plenty of people that I don't intend to swing with but that I would be fine allowing to lick a jello shot off my body. Then, there are others that I don't want touching me, let alone licking jello off my body (and plenty in the middle). So, it's all about your comfort level with that person in that moment. It's your choice and you should never feel pressured to let anyone do anything to you that you don't want to do... even if it's just licking jello off your body.

 

I, personally, think the hosts had a good "idea" in the "all jello shots must be body shots" but it's obvious that it didn't play out as they intended. As for the party, did it ever really get down to play? Or did it stay social?

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I, personally, think the hosts had a good "idea" in the "all jello shots must be body shots" but it's obvious that it didn't play out as they intended. As for the party, did it ever really get down to play? Or did it stay social?

 

Funny you should ask, because I think this is really funny: A couple wet met wrote the next day a nice to meet you, hope to see you again note. I replied the same and asked, "How was the party after we left?"

 

They said things really slowed down, as the hostess fell asleep soon after we left. They said they were so glad things calmed down; they were feeling it was too wild when we were there.

 

It's funny that it seemed incredibly tame to us.

 

I'm feeling good about it now, I think I did the right thing. I'm glad you guys appreciate the conundrum in that it wasn't just a standard no means no situation.

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They said things really slowed down, as the hostess fell asleep soon after we left.

 

yep, that will do it. It's bad enough when someone falls asleep at any party, but when you fall asleep at your own party, then probably time to call it good on the whole shebang

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Here's where my question comes in. Three different people approached and asked to do a shot off me. Two were people I didn't know at all and was not attracted to at all. One was someone I played with 2 years ago, and have brushed off every time I've seen him since. I am not interested in playing with him. All three I just said, "No thanks." At one point the girl next to me said, "I never say no."
For what it's worth, here's what I say:

 

What you might have done is tell every one of those three guys: "Ask this girl. She never says no!"

 

And then smile, and walk away.

 

Because no woman should ever be shamed out of saying "no."

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For what it's worth, here's what I say:

 

What you might have done is tell every one of those three guys: "Ask this girl. She never says no!"

 

And then smile, and walk away.

 

Because no woman should ever be shamed out of saying "no."

 

I'm giving this one a "hell yeah.".

 

Me, I don't like body shots at all, so if I agree to one it's because I really like the other person. But, as with sex, that doesn't mean others are welcome and a no, but thanks for asking is enough of a response, no guilt needed.

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You shouldn't feel bad for saying no to the jello body shot, the host should feel bad for having such a ridiculous rule.

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"I never say no."

 

When I read that comment, I instantly knew that comment in that context would have short circuited my filter and something rude/crude would likely have come out of my mouth. Something along the lines of "Great! Now I know where to send the guys I have no interest in."

 

Being a smart ass is a genetic defect of mine, but I generally keep it under control till someone irritates me. That comment would have irritated me.

 

Another genetic defect is that my flirting gene is not tuned very well. I am avidly flirtatious. I do not initiate physical flirtation, but will gladly respond to it if a women initiate it. I generally never look at it as anything more than that. Sadly, flirting that is meant to lead to sex often flies right by me. So jello shots in that context would have been taken as nothing more than fun, not an invitation to fuck.

 

That said, you are certainly NOT a prude. It is your body and space, no one has a right to assume they can invade it. It is always your call who gets to share in that pleasure.

 

I have also met more than a few men who shared the ill tuned flirting gene, usually, and unfortunately, most of those in that category have that gene tuned in the opposite direction. If a woman blinks in their direction, she was batting her eyes at him with a come hither look and was ready to play. It is better to put the breaks on a guy who might see a slightly risque party treat as an invitation to go further.

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