Jump to content
JustAskJulie

Seperate Room Only - Why?

Recommended Posts

For those of you who choose to only play in seperate rooms from each other, what is your reasoning?

 

Is it because one partner can't concentrate when the other partner is there to watch? Is it jealousy? Is it something else?

Share this post


Link to post

My wife and I played in separate rooms when we went on a 'double date' with another couple. We could easily hear everyone, but we were not within sight.

 

Didn't bother us, but it also wasn't required. It was just easier for us to be on the mattress in the living room and them on the bed in the bedroom.

 

Either way wouldn't matter to us as long as we could hear each other.

Share this post


Link to post

Mrs. FC4L is too easily distracted. She doesn't mind lots of same room foreplay and even play, but needs to focus to "get over".

 

Mr. FC4L

Share this post


Link to post

we can do same room, but prefer seperate, simply becuase we can focus on the person we are with. We know we are going home together, soe we want to get the most out of the person we are with. We have found that cpls that only play same room have some form of trust issue most of the time!

Share this post


Link to post
Mrs. FC4L is too easily distracted. She doesn't mind lots of same room foreplay and even play, but needs to focus to "get over".

 

Mr. FC4L

 

I never thought of it like that. I could see it being beneficial to me for that very reason. Hmm....

Share this post


Link to post
we can do same room, but prefer seperate, simply becuase we can focus on the person we are with.

 

We have done both, and up to this point, prefer separate for the reason listed above. There was initially some worry about jealousy too being in the same room, but that hasn't turned out to be such a big deal as the distraction issue.

 

In the end though, we really don't have strong feelings either way, just kinda whatever works out best for everyone.

Share this post


Link to post

We also can go either way, but prefer seperate rooms for the same reasons everyone else has stated. In the beginning it was for jealousy reasons, but now we have come a long way.

Share this post


Link to post
we can do same room, but prefer seperate, simply becuase we can focus on the person we are with.

Yep, same thing for us. While we do both, and both same room and separate room are fun for different reasons. For maximum sexual pleasure, separate rooms seems to take it up a notch for us.

Share this post


Link to post

For my SO and myself, we prefer separate rooms because we have had situations with first-timers where the guys had difficulty getting going when other guys are in the room. Most guys we've dealt with tend to get nervous and feel like the situation is a competition or something (obviously not the case), a problem that is only made worse when I can get going and they can't. It makes it easier on everyone to be in separate rooms.

Share this post


Link to post

Since we've never swapped it has always been same room. I enjoy watching my wife in action but I would consider seperate room if the chance ever presented itself. I'd have to be really comfortable with the other couple to do so.

 

The reasons people gave above make perfect sense.

Share this post


Link to post

We will go either way, but our preference is seperate. Like everyone else has already stated it is because we can focus all our attention on our play partners and vice versa. We don't mind same room, and have done so many times. We do get a bit frustrated when we meet a couple who insist on same room, and then while playing they constantly have to look at or touch their SO, keeping their attention on them instead of who they are playing with. We have found this to be more of a territorial or insecurity issue, than just being "turned on" by watching them.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

We do both, probably about 50/50, but I never before thought about why we choose one over the other. It just seemed to happen naturally without much thought.

 

When she is going to play and I don't have a partner, we most often do MFM threesomes, but sometimes she says she wants to be alone with the guy. When she goes without me, it is either because the other guy is a bit shy and she feels he would be inhibited by my presence, or she is REALLY hot for the guy and would be distracted by me. I always prefer to be with her because a big part of my enjoyment in swinging is to see her having a good time with another guy. However, whether I am with her or not is strictly her choice.

 

For me, if I have a partner and she does not, she never asks to come with us.

 

If we both have partners and must decide between same and separate rooms, the choice depends on several things: The other couple may want separate rooms, and that is always OK with us. I usually go along with what the rest of the people want, but if I am the one who has to decide, it depends strictly on the kind of turn-on I feel with my prospective partner. I choose separate rooms when I really want to make love and not just screw. That has happened only a few times.

Share this post


Link to post

We started out in the beginning saying we would only do same room. We met a couple at a party who only played separate room, so we thought, what the hell. Well, while it was OK, we really don't swing for one-on-one sex. We learned as we went that we were really in this for group sex. If we want one on one, we will stick with each other 9 time out of 10, except for Amy and another bi woman. Amy(and I suspect most bi women) like the one on one with another woman because of the different pace and sensation. I have no problem with her going off and playing with another girl, or girls. But usually in mixed company, we now stick together.

 

Our urge is not so much to have sex with lots of different people(well, maybe a little), as it is to have sex in lots of creative new ways and combinations.

Share this post


Link to post

We have done both, we agree it can be a little awkward with the two males and also if the one girl is straight, its really pairing off on one matress which is not that comfortable.

 

Seperate rooms is more comfortable your attention is undivided can help with Jealous issues but we did have one not so good experiance in seperate rooms where the guy forced his cock into my wives throat....she should have bite it!

 

Guess we will go either way

Share this post


Link to post
We started out in the beginning saying we would only do same room. We met a couple at a party who only played separate room, so we thought, what the hell. Well, while it was OK, we really don't swing for one-on-one sex. We learned as we went that we were really in this for group sex. If we want one on one, we will stick with each other 9 time out of 10, except for Amy and another bi woman. Amy(and I suspect most bi women) like the one on one with another woman because of the different pace and sensation. I have no problem with her going off and playing with another girl, or girls. But usually in mixed company, we now stick together.

 

Our urge is not so much to have sex with lots of different people(well, maybe a little), as it is to have sex in lots of creative new ways and combinations.

 

 

 

I will say the group sex thing is alot of fun, but we dont ever play same bed. NEither of us enjoy it. SO lots of times it will start with some g on g play then go off in our own direction, or vice versa. Most of the time when it happens that way we are at a club or a HP

Share this post


Link to post

Both are hot!! But sometimes I just want to enjoy the other man by myself. I think I do better for them while we are alone. All my focus goes to making him happy because I don't feel I am having to please everyone! Does that make sense?:confused:

Share this post


Link to post
We do both, probably about 50/50, but I never before thought about why we choose one over the other. It just seemed to happen naturally without much thought.

 

When she is going to play and I don't have a partner, we most often do MFM threesomes, but sometimes she says she wants to be alone with the guy. When she goes without me, it is either because the other guy is a bit shy and she feels he would be inhibited by my presence, or she is REALLY hot for the guy and would be distracted by me. I always prefer to be with her because a big part of my enjoyment in swinging is to see her having a good time with another guy. However, whether I am with her or not is strictly her choice.

 

For me, if I have a partner and she does not, she never asks to come with us.

 

If we both have partners and must decide between same and separate rooms, the choice depends on several things: The other couple may want separate rooms, and that is always OK with us. I usually go along with what the rest of the people want, but if I am the one who has to decide, it depends strictly on the kind of turn-on I feel with my prospective partner. I choose separate rooms when I really want to make love and not just screw. That has happened only a few times.

 

Your comment about making love with your swinging partner, and not just sex, concerns me, as part of a couple who is interested in swinging but still discussing our feelins about making sure that we understand the difference between our marriage vs. the sex with others. Everyone else seems adamant that it's just sex. Do you mind if i ask what do you mean by making love with your swinging partner?

Share this post


Link to post
We have found that cpls that only play same room have some form of trust issue most of the time!

 

I take exception to this. Mrs. P and I play in the same room because we absolutly love watching as well as playing. It's part of the experience for us. We have never run into a same room couple that had trust issues.

Share this post


Link to post

Both of the above, thanks! We liked to swap into different places for the first and meet as a foursome in the den or bedroom afterwards for a second round. Best of both worlds.

 

I liked to watch Mrs. Alura and she liked "Playing to my audience" as she put it.

 

Alura

Share this post


Link to post

Hubby and I are fairly new and it's mainly because of me. I'm not ready for him to watch me yet. It's a self confidence thing. But I know with the right couple I could work up to doing same room. Thought we had a couple it might happen with but it didn't work out. :( I also echo everyone else that the attention is important as well. One of the reasons I wanted to start doing this is because I love the attention from other males. If I was playing with a guy and he was watching his wife the whole time it might be a turnoff for me.

Share this post


Link to post

For us we have done and can do both same and separate room, for us we like separate room because like someone else had said, it allows us to focus more on the person we're with. We've had a lot of fun when we've done same room swap as well, but for us, separate room is better for us.

Share this post


Link to post
If I was playing with a guy and he was watching his wife the whole time it might be a turnoff for me.

 

The Mrs. has experienced this and finds it a huge turnoff. She totally gets the turn-on aspect of seeing your partner with someone else, but there is a difference in that and someone who seems to be there themselves only so they can watch their partner. If that is what you are looking for, fine, whatever floats your boat. I'm sure there are plenty of couples out there that would be into that scenario, but it's not us, so not being upfront about that is one of her pet peeves.

 

For us we have done and can do both same and separate room, for us we like separate room because like someone else had said, it allows us to focus more on the person we're with. We've had a lot of fun when we've done same room swap as well, but for us, separate room is better for us.

 

ditto

Share this post


Link to post

As for me I much prefer separate rooms. Why? I get distracted if my wife is in the same room and don’t pay enough attention to the lady I’m with because I’m always sneaking a peek at what she’s doing. Another reason is she tends to be much more animated and freeier if that makes any sense. We’ve videoed each other and I must say she reacts differently with other men when alone with them, in a good wayJ

Share this post


Link to post
...Another reason is she tends to be much more animated and freeier if that makes any sense. We’ve videoed each other and I must say she reacts differently with other men when alone with them, in a good wayJ

 

My wife was a different person when she fucked another man than when we made love. We tried to be more "fun" and more physical with each other but we always ended up locking minds and expressing our gratitude for each other. Isn't the ability to experience differences with another partner one of the attractions to swinging?

 

Alura

Share this post


Link to post
cpls that only play same room have some form of trust issue most of the time!

That's bizarre and paranoid!?!

I mean, You're a swinger cpl getting together with another one. So what's going to happen in another room that's not going to happen when you're all in the same one?

Share this post


Link to post

Even though we're brand new, we discussed at length and want separate rooms. Just relax, enjoy and let nature take over. We will discuss every detail on the way home--if we make it home.....LOL

Share this post


Link to post
That's bizarre and paranoid!?!

I mean, You're a swinger cpl getting together with another one. So what's going to happen in another room that's not going to happen when you're all in the same one?

 

I can answer this one. Mrs. Playmate is going to hear Mrs. Alura enjoying her husband's oversize penis and make the mistake of later asking him, "Is she better than I am?" Mr. Playmate will think about the question and hesitate just a little too long before he answers, "Oh, of course not, Honey, you're better!"

 

Duck while the shit hits the fan.

 

Alura

Share this post


Link to post

Mr. Sweet prefers same room. He likes to watch me. I, on the other hand, tend to find it distracting at times (especially if I'm concerned about whether he and his partner are having a good time). Separate rooms also ups the "naughty" factor for me, which I find all the hotter. Either way, as long as everyone's having a good time . . .

 

=)

Share this post


Link to post

We've always done same room, but sometimes I have been too distracted by my wife and her partner. I think if we we were in separate rooms, it may be better. Have to give that a try!

Share this post


Link to post

I find myself more distracted when we are in separate rooms. I start wondering what they are doing and how it's going. If we're all in the same room/area I can just look over, know EVERYONE is enjoying themselves, and get on with what I'm doing without worrying that I'm having a better time than hubby is. :D Odd, maybe, but that's how my brain works, I guess.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By two4youinswva
      We all have our preferences when it comes to swinging. One of the big ones is "Same room or separate room" swinging.
       
      We had a poll on this very topic for years, but sometimes it's nice to start fresh and see what the current generation of swingers board members think about this topic.
       
      Votes are private, so share your opinion, even if you don't feel like following up with a post below.
    • By Tia Vampire
      Does any of you other newbies feel the same way i do when it comes to being in the same room with your husband, bf, or partner? I mean when we started into this, one of our rules was always to be in the same room, but a situation came up where we were seperated and i found it easier for me. I don't like my fiance watching me enjoy sex with another man. I can't get get into it. I also have a guilty feeling of being with another man in front of him. He says it does not bother him. it does not bother me to be in the same room with him and another girl, but i can't watch him brcause, yes it do get a little jealous. Especially when he is making her moan and groan. I rather for us to go do our thing with the person and share stories afterward. Am i trying to change the rules? and am i wrong for it? I asked for the newbies to answer this question, but i would also love to hear what others may have to say. Thank you all for your responses.
    • By mba12
      Would appreciate for, stories, and experiences of a date night swap during which the two swapped couples go out separately for the evening and then trade back at the end of the evening or the following morning. I suppose it could be considered simultaneous hotwifing or separate room swinging of sorts. Have any tried it? What did each couple do and how did it go? Thanks in advance!
    • By ecoupleca
      We here so much about not doing separate rooms; can anyone share their experience? Our first was separate and it was a good experience. In fact I think it was hotter than same room because thinking about what was going on in the other room in lieu of watching it was somewhat of a mystery. Talking about it later was great. I think sometimes people in same room situations can't let go fully. Your thoughts. (I do understand there is a level of safety concern but with the right people it could diminish the safety issue.)
    • By Arcana
      Hi,
       
      Which of you has had sex in separate rooms? Did you like it?
×
×
  • Create New...