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Thread: Today

  1. Back To Top | #1
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Today

    Today is my B-Day and I want this day to be over already. I m not a very patient person in a first place but today it feels to extreme...

    I didn't tell my BF that's my B-day today.
    I am usually the one who brings drinks, treats, B-day gifts and remembers other details.
    It would be nice to get a least a Happy Birthday from him but don't want ask about it. Want spend it with both of them (hubby and BF) and have a little play time and not sure if it will work. Have no idea how to ask...
    We haven't played 3 of us together for a while and both of them have different styles of playing. Hubby's is more making sure that I came at least couple times and getting to the finish line and BF's slow and sensual and taking as much time as I want. They both are very smart men and can sense a lot. It would be my ultimate dream to go to the nice restaurant and then go to my BF's house for some playtime with both of them and not make any of them insecure. I do become totally different person when I am playing with each of them separately though, don't know if they need to see different parts of me.
    Maybe I shouldn't even tell my BF about my
    B-day? Somehow it feels like I want to be recognized today by him.
    Sorry just rumbling a little.

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Today

    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult day. Hopefully it will get better.

    If a threesome is what you'd like to have, ask for it. People aren't mind readers, no matter how much we'd like them to be at times.

    Ted and Teresa
    No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

  3. Back To Top | #3
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Thanks Teresa.

    I did say that it's my B-Day and I want 3 some. He just freaked out completely.
    We met for 3 some 1.5 years ago and he plays with hubby on occasion,rare occasion, but 3 some just totally freaked him out. I could sense that it would be a lot of resistance. How in a world he even manned up for 3 some in a first place 1.5 years ago?It was quite successful 3 some to be honest. The best one we had.
    Men such a fragile creatures, or maybe just too stubborn.
    What's the big deal to have a 3 some?

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Today

    The most likely explanation is that he is seeing the 3-some as something other than simple fun for you. To the extent his mind might be framing this as a competition, yes, he'll respond "fragile". He has to know that he is (emotionally) the only man in your life.

  5. Back To Top | #5
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Well, he completely freaked out.
    He even blamed me for trying to seduce him, work him up and later when my hubby comes (he works until 9pm tonight) serve him to my hubby as a side dish. It's like everything in a world turns around his cock...
    I told him I would like to go out with him and later when my hubby comes from work I would like my hubby to join us.
    I think he felt manipulated. I am not sure for what though but have a feeling that it how it looks and feels.
    In our relationship I always come with treats, drinks, gifts, even flowers for Valentine's day. Even lube I always bring mine because he has a crapy one and my butt and hips get slippery from it. I never ask for anything like wine and dine, flowers or other gestures of attention.

    I knew on a bottom of my heart he wouldn't like the idea of 3 some so that's why I offered it today, I didn't want give him too much time to think and worry about it.

    You think Mr. Physician that he perceives it as a competition?
    He knows I am married, and I have been together with my hubby for almost 20 years.
    He knows how much I enjoy seeing him.
    We all met as couple looking for 3 rd one. I declined to play with him initially and he agreed to play just with my hubby and with me watching.
    He had enough balls to approach me later( I look quite intimidating) and I didn't refuse him later. I figured out I would miss too much if I won't join them.
    Suddenly, now he can't man up for 3 some even when he knows how much I enjoy him. Can it be because my hubby is twice bigger then him? When I suck them both it's quite obvious the difference in size. Probably it's quite intimidating, no wonder all men talk about is size of their cocks, they think the bigger the better.
    Totally wrong..
    Anyway not the birthday I had hoped for.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Today

    Happy Birthday, Wisconsin

    I think your BF is really being out of line.

    We hope you and Mr Wisconsin enjoy your Birthday evening, even without BF.


  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Today

    To make sure I am understanding, your BF is bi and on the very rare occasion has played with your husband. He thinks you are trying to "set him up" to play with your hubby later today? Did you tell him what you actually want out of a threesome? What do you want? The men focusing on you (I mean it is your birthday afterall ) or seeing them interact?

    More importantly, why are you the one doing all of the wooing? Bringing your own lube, I totally understand that...but the rest? Does he ever reciprocate? Do the three of you ever do activities together, like go to dinner/hang out where sex hasn't been involved or do you primarily just show up at his place when playtime comes around? I assume that your BF was aware before the fact that today is your birthday. Ask him why he feels manipulated, if I had more than one SO and it was in the open ( ) I would want to spend it with both of them as well.

    I am no stranger to birthdays that turn out not like I had hoped, so hopefully your hubs will be a sweetheart tonight and rock your socks off

  8. Back To Top | #8
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Yea. My BF is as you can call it situationally bi. Prefers pussies but can handle a cock with the same grace and intensity.
    I play with him one on one for about a 1.5 years and it was getting more serious than just hook ups. Don't want repeat myself but it wasn't just bringing lube. It was B-day gifts for him. Chicken soup when he is seek. Attending to his sexual desires and booty calls at 9pm on Sunday night. Always dolled up from head to toe. Meeting his family and friends.
    Presents from vacations and other little stuff showing care and attention.
    Why I am doing all the wooing because I can't find a better cock for myself. There is not single one exists that feels that good. As much as it sounds pathetic and silly it's true. In my 39 years of living on this earth nobody was even close to what he can give me...Well just hubby as good as he is.
    I do go out with him on occasion. It just I guess I wanted to sit on two chairs with one butt tonight. Somehow the idea of 3 some causes a lot of anxiety in him....
    I didn't feel right leaving hubby for my B-day,wanted to spend night with both of them. Yes, I told him I want 3 some, he just assumed it was all about his precious cock.
    Just got a text from him to meet for a drink. I already had couple of drinks by myself. Nap sounds better now.

  9. Back To Top | #9
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Still trying to make sense of it and need your help. I really do. I can't ask my GF's or my mom what do they think about my BF who refused to have a 3 some with me and my hubby on my B-day.Thanks God for this board. Nobody knows me and I can blush to myself as much as I want.

    I can't figure out who manipulate who and how to come out of it. Maybe later it will make more sense.

    It was hubby's idea to have a 3 some on my B-day since we haven't done it for long time and since I couldn't have just spend this day away with my BF without hubby.

    Did I want it? Maybe, I was nervous about it too but thought it would be the best solution to spend the day with both of them.

    BF knows I wasn't big fan of 3 somes. I don't do multitasking very well, Yes I could handle 2 men, it's not the first time, but he knew I was hesitant about it.
    My BF he has an animal intuition and he probably felt that it was more hubby's idea then mine that's why he resisted, I think.
    As I said previously they play together on occasion when they have right mood but it's always without me and infact BF was just asking my hubby for a playdate couple weeks ago. So it's not like he hates being with hubby, why so much resistance and anxiety then?
    I know we are not typical swinger couple. BF got used to having me for himself and without sharing and he probably doesn't want to admitt that I am a part of the couple.
    Was it too much to ask for 3 some?Should I given him more time to think about it, like give him heads up couple days before?Is he just a jerk who doesn't care about anybody but himself?Why would he think that it was a set up to seduce him? Is he just paranoid schizophrenic who smoked his brains out?What did I do wrong?
    I am missing some pieces to my puzzle. Any ideas, Please!!!

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Today

    If your husband is bi and part of the threesome would be the two guys playing together then I can understand your boyfriends feelings about it. Since it seems like he is interested in your husband for sexual activity, perhaps he just wants it on his terms. Having it sprung on him at the last minute may feel manipulative. Still, if you guys are as close as you say you are, then he's probably being a bit too much of a baby about it. He needs to man up and communicate; tell you firmly it isn't what he wants etc.

  11. Back To Top | #11
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Thanks, for you response. Since nobody had responded besides you I guess this whole situation sounds very confusing. Unfortunately, I am confused myself and have no idea how to come out of this situation.

    I have recently met with BF, we played, I was upset, and we didn't talk about all of this and situation didn't resolve on it's own.
    I guess we should have talked but I know his way of dealing with problems, he blames me and I wasn't ready to accept the blame and argue.
    Seems like he doesn't care and if he is pretending that he doesn't care he is doing a very good job doing it. Everything just got out of control after my BD-day invite.
    I am just not ready to quite with him, it wasn't on my plan yet. I never been treated by a man in my life like this and have no experience how to deal with players like him. After a 1.5 years of seeing each other was it so hard to say that he wasn't interested in 3 some in that particular moment instead of blaming me for setting him up?
    Sounds like he wanted it to be on his terms.
    I am not a very patient person and all of this just making me very sad. Thanks for listening....

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: Today

    No worries.

    Regardless of whether there was a reason for him to feel pressured, there is no excuse for the way he is handlling it. If this isn't an anomaly then it's time to cut him off. Whether you were ready for it or not. He knows that he has you where he wants you; when he calls you come running. When you come you bring him gifts and surprises, and he doesn't need to reciprocate. It's time to change the script, whether you were ready for it or not. If you aren't willing to do that, then you best learn to live with being treated this way.

  13. Back To Top | #13
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Re: Today

    Well, that's a very wise replay. My hubby says the same thing and I understand it completely. I just feel so bad that hubby has to deal with my problems and my devastation of last week. He doesn't deserve it.
    He even refused to play with his playmate recently because he said," Need to deal with my wife's love crisis''.
    Sometimes we are not always able to do what's right even if we know that it's right and a best approach and have to deal with consequences.
    Can just people be f... nice to each other and don't abuse what they have?I know he (BF) doesn't have anything even close to what I offer to him and still behaves like a last jerk..

    I need to put my head to where my pussy is, maybe then I will be able to change something and think straight...

  14. Back To Top | #14
    Swingers Board Addict wisconsin's Avatar
    female part of the couple

    Default Update...

    Little update on our situation where my BF refused to play 3 some with me and my hubby couple weeks ago...
    Got a call last weekend from BF inviting us both over. Like always his terms. OK. We didn't mind.
    It was weird at least. We haven't played 3 some for a while, it's been only either my hubby and me or my BF and me, or them both without me for last 1.5 years...
    I needed to make sure I don't pay attention to one over the other and enjoy them kind of equally. Do not moan to loud, do not cum too much with either of them!? All this questions racing through my mind.
    I will remember their faces for a long time when my hubby said that he wanted to see BF fucking me. BF slid his cock into my pussy and started fucking me slowly then picking up his speed and looking right into my hubby's eyes. Kind of creeped me out...and then they switched and same story looking in each others eyes.
    I could feel BF held back a lot and basically he was the one who controlled the situation making sure everybody got their turns since it was BI 3 some.
    They both enjoyed it and reported very satisfied with our play date.
    Did I like it? It was weird shit. Not sure I want do it again too many emotions involved.:
    I have seen hubby with a man before and with a BF as well but he wasn't my BF back then 1.5 years ago. Seeing them together now?!
    By the way hubby approved our (BF and me) weekend get away.

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