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Can a swinger woman be TOO slutty?

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In your opinion is there such a thing as a woman acting too slutty in the lifestyle? In my swing circle being called a slut is a good thing, it is use as a term of endearment but being called too slutty is not. BTW- we define a slut as a woman who likes to play and is very open minded.

 

I was at the club one night and a woman told me that I had better be careful, that I was being too slutty just because I was dancing topless. I know, the horror, a woman dancing topless in a swing club! She then went on to tell me that men don’t want to play with a woman if she is too slutty. Now this was from a woman who had 4 guys lined up giving them blowjobs in an open room, putting on a show. Not that I think that was too slutty. I think her thinking is a little skewed. I know a woman that will screw anything with a dick, she doesn’t care who or what it is attached to. I am not sure if that is being too slutty or just not being very careful.

 

So guys, if you think that there is a line where a woman has crossed over from being a slut to being too slutty, what is that line?

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:cool: Too slutty? I think is a personal call but it's also a women that is open & free. She maybe a soccer mom by day. At the club or party she let's loose and want's to get wild. I have been with a women that was your class A PTA mom by day. Met her at a house party, Short tight leather mini skirt, Black stockings w/garters and her shirt open for the world to see her little tittys. She's not slutty she getting wild and wants to shock some people. Maybe even herself. She did get close to slutty when I was getting a bj from her and another guy was F**ing, Her hubby came in and wanted to know if she was alright, she did not stop and just gave the thumbs up sign. :eek:

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In your opinion is there such a thing as a woman acting too sluty in the lifestyle? In my swing circle being called a slut is a good thing, it is use as a term of endearment but being called too sluty is not. BTW- we define a slut as a woman who likes to play and is very open minded.

 

Um... no.

 

One of the things that I think is the best about swinging is the opportunity it provides for people to just let go and get as wild as they like. While their particular idea of fun might not be my idea of fun, that doesn't make them "too slutty".

 

The few situations I've seen where I've heard someone complain about someone else being "too slutty" it's usually been:

 

One woman complaining about another because that other is either getting a lot more attention for one reason or another or is getting attention from someone the complaining women had her eye on...

 

or

 

A guy complaining about a woman because he's not getting any action from a woman who has been playing with a number of other men.

 

In both situations, it seems like it's more sour grapes than any sort of valid assessment.

 

It's truly amazing just how openly sexual many women are willing to be when in a situation where they feel they're both free to do so and safe in doing so. I think that there are some who feel threatened/jealous/shocked/whatever at that sort of behavior, and thus judge those that do feel that free as "too slutty".

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OK, asked hubby and he agrees. As long as no is getting hurt, and the women is having a good time. What right is it of anyone else to judge her?

 

But i could be reading the question wrong. Are you asking the men if they prefer the women they meet in the lifestyle to be more slutty?

 

If that is the case, then just like preferring bigger titties or smaller titties, i think it just depends on the guy.

As for hubby, it depends on his mood as to which women he prefers, a slutty one or a non slutty one.

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Well from my point of view I don't think what you were saying would be too slutty. I don't know if I could even say a lady was acting too slutty :D. If she is there to letgo and have fun, and that is her idea of fun then so be it. There were a few ladies that were dancing topless at the club this past weekend, I didn't see anyone complaining about it that's for sure.. Actually I was very much enjoying the view :D

 

I joke around all the time with my wife now that she has opened up that she enjoys being a slut. Again using the term as a term similar to the way your group does. She would never just do a gang bang with strangers (Would Mrs Van?? :D) but would she like to used an abused by a number of men that she knew.. I am sure of it.. Does that make her too slutty? I guess in some peoples minds it would... but I am guessing most people here would say no.

 

I would think this lady just wasn't very happy that you might have been stealing some of her thunder. :)

 

-Van

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I’m sure there is a line for everyone as far as too slutly. I think my “Too Slutly” threshold would vary depending on location and on normal activities. At church or at the PTA meeting might be quite different than at a strip club or swing club.

 

I know I have an extremely high tolerance before my “Too Slutly” threshold is met, so don’t worry about me :D .

 

PS. I have been trying to live my life the correct way. I’m hoping I will be awarded a hundred sluts when I die instead of hundred virgins. Out of the hundred virgin how many would turn out to be frigid? :confused:

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Too slutty? :confused: We are swingers aren't we? I thought we were suppose to be as slutty as possible?

 

I don't like slutty women. Now sexy is a whole different thing. The difference is huge to me. I guess to me the hooker look, and the attitude of I'll screw anything just doesn't work for me. Now, a woman who has class, while being wild will win my heart any day. I guess the difference to me is like the difference between being confident and being hung up on yourself.

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Slut is a pejorative term for a sexually promiscuous person (usually females), or one who gives the appearance of being more sexually accessible, active or demonstrative than is deemed socially acceptable.

 

The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally considered an offensive term of disparagement. As such, it may be applied to a woman perceived to be "sexually loose" for any variety of reasons, such as wearing provocative clothing, being overly saucy, or engaging indiscriminately in sexual relations with new partners after only a brief period of acquaintance.

 

Alternate Usages

 

Although usually considered offensive when applied to women, the word slut is often used more light-heartedly within the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Trangender communities, signifying, for example, an expression of envy by others, a friendly jibe among friends, or (when used self-descriptively) an expression of pride in one's sexual prowess.

 

Among practitioners of polyamory, with reference to the book The Ethical Slut, the term has been reclaimed as an expression of choice to openly have multiple partners, and revel in that choice: "A slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you".

 

"A slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you".

 

Is the way I see being "slutty" in the LifeStyle.

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If you find some women that you feel are too slutty, please send them to me, I will get back to you with my findings. :D

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Slut or slutty? Within swinging I have no problem with those terms. In the vanilla world they are derogatory, but they're almost a badge of honor for women -- well, men too, not to be sexist -- in SchwingWorld.

 

However, too slutty? When I think of that term with regard to swinging, I think of totally indiscriminate sex. Sort of, "Just about any partner will do, doing anything," and for some reason that also brings to mind a lack of the use of protection...or reason.

 

I just want to let you folks know that I do NOT think it's a negative when women or men express their sexuality in a very blatant way that is appropriate to the setting, however contrary it is to VanillaWorld. And if a sexually RESPONSIBLE person (taking precautions to protect him or herself AND partners) has sex with multiple partners, or dresses like their clothes are going to fall off of them, or whatever, acts "slutty" then, more power to him and/or her.

 

So, I guess the line for me is the totally IRRESPONSIBLE slut, not just a slutty person. The totally irresponsible slut has no regard for his/her body or for the people he or she plays with.

 

I'll be thinkin' on this and might post more, since my post seems to be a tad unfinished. But, at this point, slutty is okay, but "too slutty"... is problematical for me.

 

(Is this Thrax gettin' serious? As Myron would say: "YOI!")

 

P.S. I think I earned my sluthood a few years ago at a swing Mardi Gras party. It AMAZES me what some women...er, sluts...will do for a string of beads.

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You are asking for opinions from guys, but I would like to comment because I have some strong feelings about sluttiness. :)

 

Get me alone, in private, with the couple or individual I/we are playing with and I love getting down and dirty and SLUTTY. :D You can call me a slut too, I won't mind one bit.

 

BUT...

 

when I am out in public, at a swing club, or a swing party, I keep my slut level to a minimum. I don't think much of women who are very loose with their words and actions in public. I don't think it's sexy and I know Mr LM feels the same way.

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A qualified no. If I felt that the woman was not really comfortable with herself then she would be sort of slutty. But...........

 

I'm not really crazy about labeling other's behavior (except for bad drivers and right-wingers) and (no that's not an invitation to hijack this thread :lol: ) so I would probably just avoid a woman who was uncomfortable with her own behavior.

 

A woman or man who is confident and happy can't be too slutty. :D

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ooooo-weee.

 

I DO understand what the poster meant, exhibitionist behavior. But, despite SweetCandy saying that it should be applied across the board its not. Its applied ->> to women.

 

just a thought, not getting down on anybody at all, but can you have the attitude that - well, gee we really would like to snag us a unicorn...

 

and then get out a rating scale and say - uh-huh, tooo slutty! :confused:

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Slut is in the eye of the beholder.

 

I think the level of sluttiness that is appropriate depends on the situation. Dancing topless at a vanilla club would probably be considered slutty, or in the least inappropriate.

 

In general, I would say that there is no such thing as too slutty. But I think there are situations when it does apply, just not in the swinging lifestyle.

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LikeMinds321 said:

 

when I am out in public, at a swing club, or a swing party, I keep my slut level to a minimum. I don't think much of women who are very loose with their words and actions in public. I don't think it's sexy and I know Mr LM feels the same way.

Dito

 

Mr. V and I feel the same way.

 

Don't get me wrong, we like to see everyone having a good time, but if a woman (or man) tosses herself around a room like she's today's lunch special... we get turned off fast.

 

Too me, it screams out insecurity- and that is something that I find most unbecoming.

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Well, after reading over all the post and what some think is "too slutty" ....I'm probably one of those that is looked at as being too slutty :rolleyes: Do I care? Nope...not a bit. There is only one person in the world that I have to be concerned about whether he thinks I'm too slutty or not...Ted.

 

I'm one of the ones you will see dancing away at a swingers social naked as a jay bird...I'm very comfortable being naked in this type of situation...in fact, I'm usually the first to get naked most places we go. I do flirt around the room and interact with a lot of people...do I have indiscriminate sex? No. Do I act like I have indiscriminate sex? I'm sure there are those that think I do...their problem, not mine.

 

At the last social we went to I was dancing naked on the pole (okay, I had on thigh highs and my shoes, so not totally naked :lol: ) I had a friend come up to me and comment that she wished she could be as free as I was, but she just couldn't do it and asked how I did...I told her that what allowed me to be the way I was, was that I had a "fuck'em" attitude. I didn't care what others thought of me...I was having fun and if they didn't like it , again, not my problem.

 

Until the day comes that Ted tells me to tone it down, I will continue to do as I always have and have a good time.

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In a swinger situation I don't think you can be too slutty. That's part of the attraction, you're in a club to let the slut out of you! Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

My wife is very fun loving, humorous but never slutty in the vanilla world. It makes me laugh sometimes when we see someone who is considered slutty in these situations because in the lifestyle they would be considered normal and having fun.

 

There is a time and a place for everything! I love being married to a real lady, with charm and style seen by everyone.

 

Then I love it when she lets the slut out for just a while in the clubs :hahaha:

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How about this question- “Can sex feel too good?”

 

Not trying to minimize your question but rather pointing out my thoughts on the silliness of calling a woman in the lifestyle "too slutty".

 

“Girl, you are way too hot!”

 

“Your too good on the dance floor”

 

“Your tongue is way too talented”

 

“Can we cut this short…I’ve already had too many orgasms”

 

Sincerely,

 

Two Proud Sluts :kissface:

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I am with Teresa on this one. I don't remember any time in my life that anyone appointed me the Judge of anyone either in or out of the lifestyle.

 

If someone is having fun and they are not hurting anyone it is not my place to put a "title" on them or how they act. If I personally don't care for their actions or the person in general then I just don't have to be around them.

 

Same goes for the things we do. I know there is many both in the lifestyle and out of it that do not approve of us and our lifestyle. That is ok, it is NOT THEIR LIFE and they don't have to live it.

 

I also know many fine ladies that would make a great "lunch special" and never looked at them once as being insecure, I just saw them as someone that knows what they want, what they like and they don't let what others think about them get in their way of enjoying their life.

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One issue here is the ambiguity with which such word is used ('a little is good but too much is not', how do we define a little bit and a little too much?). The other is what the intentions of this other woman may have been.

 

I don't like to use that word, not because I'm prudish, but out of respect to women. Nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys others while she lets them enjoy as well, right? I prefer not to use it because it can be perceived with a negative connotation.

 

I would question the intentions of the other woman. A little bit judgemental, I'd say. If she was in the open with other guys letting everyone watch I would see it as exciting but I would also thing I'd have less of a chance with her (she is busy already, maybe already taken). On the other hand, a woman on the dance floor who draws attention to her not because she is already engaged in the act, but because she is using her assets to draw attention.... I would think she wants someone and maybe that someone could be me. I'd be more interested. To me she'd appear to need someone, she is looking for prospects and not already busy with them.

 

If you find yourself in the same situation try not to think on what someone tells you. After all, I bet the room had much more people and only one complained. How many do you think were pleased to see you in the dance floor? Flirting is always nice. I would not complain.

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I was at the club one night and a woman told me that I had better be careful, that I was being too sluty just because I was dancing topless. I know, the horror, a woman dancing topless in a swing club!

btw..

 

When I gave my opinion that sometimes women can be too slutty I didn't mean -you- were being slutty in the above scenerio. I was responding to your question, in general, and not your situation.

 

Just so you know, I wasn't calling you a slut. :kissface: Isn't it common for women to dance topless at a swinger's club? I would think that would come with the territory. :lol:

 

Like sftspkn said, I think "sluty" is definitely a relative word.

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No such thing as to slutty? Why would I judge. Those that do are simply trying to elevate make themselve's by putting others down.

 

Besides, a slut is just someone getting more sex then the accuser. :lol:

 

Now, too hoochie... that's another thing. :eek:

 

Mr. WS

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btw..

 

When I gave my opinion that sometimes women can be too slutty I didn't mean -you- were being slutty in the above scenerio. I was responding to your question, in general, and not your situation.

 

Just so you know, I wasn't calling you a slut. :kissface: Isn't it common for women to dance topless at a swinger's club? I would think that would come with the territory. :lol:

 

Like sftspkn said, I think "sluty" is definitely a relative word.

 

No problem, I knew what you ment. And for the record, I don't mind being called a slut, like I said, in our club that is a term of endearment.

 

But I just could not understand why this woman would say that to me, sort of the "pot calling the kettle black". And it is not like I was stealing her "thunder" like someone on here suggested. This woman has plenty of her own "thunder". This woman is so much prettier then I am. Not putting myself down, but where she is pretty, I am just cute. She has more action then she can handle. And I happened to be dancing with my husband and I was not the only woman dancing topless. It is sort of a tradition at our club for the woman to dance topless.

 

I did find everyones answers very interesting.

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Take your pick! :rolleyes:

 

A woman usually defined as being a promiscuous or other wise a slut. To be a true hoochie, a woman must be labled by a collection of other jealous females.

 

Did you see what Yolanda was wearing. All the guys were staring at her ass hanging out of those dukes. She is such a hoochie.

 

A female who appears to match a set of characteristics including: trashy, often inappropriately tight dress (with or without pudge overflowing waistband); eyebrows shaved and penciled back on in dramatic fashion; heavy, mostly monotonic makeup with dark lipstick; large, gaudy, costume-grade jewlery. Frequently accompanied by multiple children from different fathers (see baby-daddy)."

 

Damn, did you Estela's sister at the sideshow last night? Sportin' a camel toe through her jeans, cornrows, you know she's a straight-up hoochie"

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What's the definition of hoochie?
A woman with no class.

 

From the Urban Dictionary:

 

A female who appears to match a set of characteristics including: trashy, often inappropriately tight dress (with or without pudge overflowing waistband); eyebrows shaved and penciled back on in dramatic fashion; heavy, mostly monotonic makeup with dark lipstick; large, gaudy, costume-grade jewlery. Frequently accompanied by multiple children from different fathers (see baby-daddy).

 

"Damn, did you Estela's sister at the sideshow last night? Sportin' a camel toe through her jeans, cornrows, you know she's a straight-up hoochie"

 

"Did you see what Yolanda was wearing. All the guys were staring at her ass hanging out of those dukes. She is such a hoochie."

 

:lol:

 

Mr. WS

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Of course there is, and it's in the mind of the beholder. A slut to one person might be a prude to another. Think what you will of anyone and categorize them to your heart's content. The only problem arises when you feel compelled to share your opinions with others.

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Of course there is, and it's in the mind of the beholder.
Like I said, a slut is someone who's getting more sex then you. :lol:

 

Mr. WS

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Like the song says----> I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

 

BTW, that's country music for those of you who aren't familiar.

 

I tell my Mrs. that the sluttier she acts, the better I like it, however, we confine that type of behavior to our swinger parties. It wouldn't be appropriate in the local Wal-Mart, but on the dance floor or in the party room... :fun:

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I like my wife to be slutty. Though she can only be slutty in comfortable situations. Once at a house party where she was feeling very comfortable and was being slutty with three men who had sex with before. She look so excited. Enjoying the touching, fingering and kissing. During a break in foreplay, she told me, "we going to a bedroom."

One of the women came up to be and said "I never seen her act this way," while smiling!

 

Wow!

 

I had only seen her be slutty with me in private. Now we have talked about her letting go, I knew she had the desire, but did not know when she would let go. Here is a PTA mom or the girl-next-door doing what she wanted to do. I was having mixed feelings.

Happy my wife was enjoying herself, yet I wondering what was happening. Ah, getting I wanted.

 

Thinking I wanted my wife to open-up, I began to relax. I walked to the doorway and saw my wife fucking and sucking two men. I got turned on thinking this is my wife. They are fucking my wife. Damn this is hot!

 

While my wife was getting fucked, I talked to a couple of wives told me to go in after she is finished and comfort her. I did and she needed to know I did not would hold her actions against her. I told her my feelings, how excited I got and said I love her.

 

So yes I love slutty women in the correct enviornment

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That woman made you her step stool, she put you down to elevate herself. From your original post it sounded as though she implied your actions wouldn't get you any action. That couldn't be further from the truth. Contrary to what the women who disregarded that they weren't asked the question said, men like women that present themselves as available. Isn't "slut" a sexually available woman? This is a thread that validates the old saying, People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.

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Dear Bear and Babe,

 

To me it seems everyone is pole dancing around the question.

 

You weren't too slutty dancing topless in the swing club.

 

The other woman was blowing off 4 guys!

 

(If she had only blown 3 guys, she too would not have been "too slutty".)

 

:lol:

 

So now you know.

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But I just could not understand why this woman would say that to me, sort of the "pot calling the kettle black". And it is not like I was stealing her "thunder" like someone on here suggested. This woman has plenty of her own "thunder". This woman is so much prettier then I am. Not putting myself down, but where she is pretty, I am just cute. She has more action then she can handle. And I happened to be dancing with my husband and I was not the only woman dancing topless. It is sort of a tradition at our club for the woman to dance topless.

 

I have a feeling that she was being a territorial, jealous chick. The way you describe her, she's used to getting a lot of attention, maybe more attention than most other women in the place. She must be fully aware that it's common practice for lots of women to dance topless in your club, and that it's not considered "too slutty" to do so. I think she's probably an attention-hog. There are women like that anywhere you go, and not just in swinging. They may say something catty to the competition. Or, if they're not saying something, they're the ones that give you dagger-looks for no apparent reason. Some women like that just aren't happy until everybody in the room is looking at them. This type may have plenty of their own "thunder", but they just want all of it.

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It seems to me like perhaps the woman who commented was jealous of the woman dancing. Maybe for her (the commenter) the only way she feels she can get men's attention is through sex and it bothers her to see a woman who can do it otherwise.

 

I can't really see any woman being too sluty in this lifestyle but at the same time there are women who come on so strong that I think it is a turn-off. Something like dancing topless though? That's a turn-on, it shows a self-assured woman who knows how to have fun.

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Judging by some people's responses, I'm probably someone they would consider too slutty....oh well.

 

I don't really think there is such a thing, and besides, I wasn't appointed by anyone to be judge of whether you are or are not a slut. I call myself a slut and use the term quite happily.

 

I do think someone can be trashy, but that is different than slutty.

 

I think the women who spoke to the OP very likely had other reasons for her comment. who knows, some of the guy following her may have started paying attention to you and she got jealous, or, while she might be free in some ways, dancing topless might be something she's not okay with. Honestly though, it wasn't her place to come up and say anything to you.

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Here we go with the labeling/hair splitting again . . .

 

No, I don't think there is such a thing as "too slutty," though there are women I think might be a bit too indiscriminating for my (or Mr. Sweet's) taste. Do I hold it against them? No, we just keep looking.

 

~Sweet (who's already called herself a slut in another thread today) =)

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Bear and Babe, I think the female that talked to you could have been a tad jealous. I am sure you had a nice rack and it is obvious that was the first thing she commented on was your chest. It is fair game I think when you are at a club unless it is stated on a board.

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I agree. Slut is in the eye of the beholder.

 

And it all started with that dirty little slut June Clever. Did you notice she never wore panties?! What a filthy, naughty slut! Or that other nasty bitch, Ginger. Now there was a class A slut that needed to be spanked all over her slutty little ass!

 

But shaking your tits at a Club? No, not slutty. And men dig it.

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While I dress to impress, I'm going to know the proper attire to any occasion. From simple casual dress, to total over the top slut.

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There is sexy and there is trashy.

 

It can be a fine line. One is a turn on, the other a turn off. You know it when you see it.

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There is sexy and there is trashy.

 

It can be a fine line. One is a turn on, the other a turn off. You know it when you see it.

 

 

I suspect the line is different for everyone which can make it very hard to define.

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I think the term slut has been used by insecure men to boost their monogamous egos. A man is a stud and a woman a slut. Not very fair, is it?

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There is no such thing as a slut.

It a lame term made up.

Sort of like whore dog for men.

It's simply an example of the repercussions of Christianity, Victorian England and closed minded conservatives attitudes toward sex.

Oh the horrible act of making love!

My God, who would want their child to be accussed of doing that with a lot of people when it is so much mor honorable to send them to a foreign land and kill people in the traditions of war.

"Slut" Give me a break...do dolts actually still use that idiotic term?:lol:

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I think the term slut has been used by insecure men to boost their monogamous egos. A man is a stud and a woman a slut. Not very fair, is it?

 

 

I don't know about that. I hear more women use the term more than men by far. In general terms I don't think it is necessarily a bad word to use. But when directed toward a specific woman it is.

 

Some would call a woman sucking every cock in site a slut. For the record, I am not. What would you call a man trying to get into every pussy in site? Not many would call him a stud. I would call them both trashy and I think women get away with it way more than men.

 

My answer to the question is yes. But sometimes a slut is exactly what I want.

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      Tonight we were at a house party. We were in the hot tub and I started making out with a guy I'd seen earlier and thought was attractive. He was quite cute... but he had what I'd consider an over-active tongue during kissing.
       
      Does anyone else find that there's something of a divide between people who kiss slowly, use their tongues slowly, use their lips etc., and people who seem to stick it in there and wiggle it like a teletubby on five cups of coffee?
       
      I'm just curious. It's obvious from my post which I prefer... but I'm only one person. I am wondering what others think.
       
      Oh, and we tend to find that "over-active tongue" people tend to come in couples, which makes sense. Over time you get used to how your SO kisses, and each person's kissing style probably evolves to become more like theirs whether or not we realize it.
       
      Comments?
    • By Carol_Danny
      While reading the comments in another thread about penis size, I thought about hard or fast intercourse. I am quite petite and I can't take too large of a penis. But with even average guys, I can't take hard intercourse. I prefer it slower and softer which I know isn't for everyone. I also find that it feels so much better when the penis is going in and out at a slower pace, I tend to feel everything much better. I do have girlfriends that just love to be "pounded", as they say. But that actually can hurt me due to the shallowness of my vagina.
       
      How do you like it? Hard and fast? Slow and sensual? Or a mixture of both? Why do you like it a certain way?
       
      Carol xoxoxo
    • By megauxurious
      We all know how much people vary in talent for sport or music or dancing etc both before and after training. Indeed some people are better as beginners than others will be after years of practice. Take the effect of simply drawing a bow across violin strings. It can sound like a tortured cat or something heavenly and deeply moving.
       
      Now the same thing no doubt applies to sex. The stroke during intercourse may have just as much variation in terms of how good it feels to the woman as the sound of a violin does. There must be big differences in how skillfully men move their cocks in and out. There is the skill of each stroke and the skill in being able to vary it just right as things build i.e. to make music inside you. Of course the size and shape of his cock must also make a difference but most women seem to say its much more about how he uses it.
       
      In your experience ladies just how much variation is there in thrusting skill out there? Do swingers seem any better than non-swingers? Does practice and more variety improve a man's skill or do most men never learn anything?
       
      If possible could you identify what makes thrusting good or bad?
       
      What difference does all the stuff that happens before any thrusting make? What about other things he may do during thrusting?
       
      I'm aware that a lot of other stuff from talking to touching to kissing and oral action happens too and that there are huge differences here too. I'm also aware that looks have an impact on the overall experience as well. However I don't want to make this discussion too broad. Lets talk about thrusting skill for now. If other skills contribute via preparation or atmosphere creation then mention it.
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