After 10 years in the lifestyle and several playmates I still have problems getting the ole boy erect 50% of the time. It seems to be more situation related than about the girl. As the girl can get a rise out of me in the club or on the couch, but the second clothes come off I lose it or cannot get it up. Even though I am totally into the girl and totally into what's going on and what my wife is doing...NO GO. If the girl hangs in there eventually I can come around but even then, it's mostly physical, my head is still freaking out. In fact I have gotten to the point where I know if it's me or if I'm just not into the girl. Most of the time it's me.
I have come to realize that I have been putting AROUSAL ahead of RELAXATION and that clothes have been coming off way too fast for my comfort level. The successes I have had were phenomenal experiences but what worked for one did not work for the other, all they had in common were things took their time and we went at a natural pace. So I get that I have some direction to go in resolving this issue.
Drug assistance is OUT OF THE QUESTION - I refuse. I have no problems on my own or with my wife, so I want to figure out how to do this on my own so I know it's genuine.
My question to the ladies...and stories of your experiences are WELCOME PLEASE...what do YOU want to hear from your swapped partner when they cannot get it up?
It's terribly embarrassing yet I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. It's not about the girl, but I know human tendency is to blame ourselves and I know the girl won't help but take it personally. I've been learning what to say but thought I would be brave and throw it out there. So have at it...