I wish I'd known about this forum a little sooner, it would have prevented some problems for my fiancé and I. We got together with another couple recently and it ended poorly.
We both are very sexual and have had amazing fantasy experiences together, talking about what we want to do in very vivid detail. We finally decided to give it a try, can't tell you which one of us actually made the first move in looking for someone to meet. We found a great couple that is open and that we were both attracted to. We spent lots of time talking about it and, while he did go back and forth a couple times, we decided to go forward with it.
The first time we met with the other couple, it was more of a soft swap foreplay situation. I was on that wonderful monthly thing that women get, so there were limits on activities and he felt a little left out. The evening didn't end well, but we thought the reasons were due to that. We decided to not go forward with things.
Fast forward a month later and we decided to try it again, changing the situation to make sure that everyone was more involved and talking a lot about what was okay and not okay. We also added a recreational chemical to the mix. The situation was much more enjoyable, but my guy had "performance issues" which we decided was the chemicals. He had a couple green monsters, but we talked about it and decided to go forward and meet them again the next weekend without the chemicals.
This time he still had the same problem, but even I couldn't help him like I did the last weekend. The other man was a little pushy and started with me before my guy was ready with the other woman. So there my guy is, watching me with another man while he is standing there in not so much glory. We ended up leaving very soon after and have been struggling through in the days since. He says he can’t get that picture out of his mind.
If we had gone slower, we may have realized there was a problem. Unfortunately, he wasn’t talking to me as much as I thought he was. The reality was definitely more complicated than the fantasy. I know that there are other people out there that have had similar problems. What can I do to repair things between us after we've realized we made a mistake?