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wildwife1010

Playing Alone With Other Men

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We have been swinging for about two years now. My husband wants me to go out with this guy who has been flirting with me at work. He says the only rule is that I have to tell him everything that happens.

 

Do you think I should do this or not? :confused:

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That all depends...on a LOT of things...

 

Do you and your husband have an 'open marriage' as well as swinging?

 

Do you WANT to go out with this guy?

 

Is he pushing you to go out with this guy so he has an excuse to go out by himself?

 

You have LOTS to talk about before you make a move like this...

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Everyone is different and while this may work for you and your husband it didn't work for myself and my wife. Although, initially, it was a heckuva lot of fun :fun: .

 

When she went out I was charged with sexual tension (good) and anxiety (bad). We screwed like rabbits when she came back.

 

Then I went out and had fun with my friend. No problem.

 

Then she went out and became more emotionally involved than me. It has taken a long time and a very heavy toll on our relationship to get back on track.

 

My advice is to keep it a fantasy. Stick to swinging together and/or threesomes with hubby present or close by.

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I think that it begins to be difficult to view your activity as something you are doing together if/when you begin doing things apart from one another.

 

And try as you might, it will be difficult to convey "everything" that happens when you are apart. Especially the 'nuance' of a relationship that develops with the third party - which happens to some degree despite your intentions to the contrary.

 

Perhaps his desire to hear tales of separate activity could be satisfied by some separate room swinging. That would keep the accompanying time shared, prior to the actual act. And lessen the chance for the activity you describe to become divisive rather than a shared experience.

 

There may be some this has worked for, but I believe it is dangerous grounds to tread if you value the marriage relationship first and foremost. It becomes 'dating' and that is not a good thing, in my opinion.

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Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty

One thing we have decided is whatever happens it will ALWAYS be together.

 

The most important part of swinging for us is that it is something we share together.

 

If we go out seperately or not in the same room than we are not together and not sharing the experience.

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Dito for us, although, we tried something similar to what wildwife1010 described once and while it seemed like a good idea ahead of time, when she was actually doing it the wait and worry was excruciating for me, so we decided then and there we would always play together in the future and that has been one of the best decisions we ever made.

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Originally posted by wildwife1010

My husband wants me to go out with this guy who has been flirting with me at work.

 

This part concerns me. In addition to the problems it could cause at work, (even if nothing more than gossip) if you decide to end the relationship, it may not be comfortable seeing the other guy every day. Have you considered that it could cause you to have to find another job?

 

We once made the agreement that we could each have sex with our high school sweethearts, should the opportunity occur, because neither of us had done it back then. It caused us no problems. In fact it was fun because we plotted the "seductions" together over a period of months. Both live a long away, too, which made it easier.

 

We even had "code names" for the "operations." When my tryst happened, Mrs. Alura prepared us a "Hotel Kit" containing a scented candle, a bottle of wine & glasses, body oil, and some minor goodies. It was great fun. Unfortunately, she wasn't so successful. Her reunion comes up next year, though. ;)

 

As long as the most important thing in both of your lives is the two of you, you can probably pull it off, laughing all the way to your "Swing Scrapbook." But pick somebody away from work.

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Alura

 

I really liked reading about your "high school sweetheart" fantasies. It sounds like the perfect combination of sweet and heat.

 

I'm also glad you caught the work connection. That is true. We have a rule that we wouldn't play with anyone at work - though I suspect that is another one of our rules that would bend wildly if faced with the right circumstance - and, yes, Me and the missus have talked about a couple of "circumstances" that we get to work with on a daily basis. Her circumstance is tall and dark, mine looks an awful lot like Agent Scully from the X-files...

 

I've always been interested in trying this (Mrs. Spoo on a date alone), though I don't really think Mrs. Spoomonkey (who is shopping right now, so I can't get her input) would ever go for it. It has a lot of potential for some great anticipation - and a very fiery "welcome home." The farthest we have ever gone in that direction was me walking out of the room while Mrs Spoomonkey entertained a single male. Weird how that would be a turn on...

 

Likely that it will not happen - but you just never know. It is sobering to read accounts from those who have done it. There is a lot more to think about than just a fantasy. Reality is much more complicated.

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I agree with twoloves about keeping this a fantasy. Who wants to pee in your own pool anyway? :confused:

 

If I may suggest spicing up your workdays abit by making this a hot and heavy office flirtation? ;) Dress to the nines and flirt like mad. Talk to hubby about it and you may find yourself bringing all this exxciting energy home. :fun:

 

If the temptations are too great, plaster hubby's pics everywhere (your desk, wallet, a pic of the two of you on the office bulletin board if they allow personal stuff), have him phone more often and send you flowers every Friday. It always helps to schedule a nooner every now and then. You won't want to make this fantasy a reality once you realise it no longer will be.

 

With that in mind and hubby so hot to you, have fun!

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I believe that this would be living dangerously especially when a coworker is involved as Alura pointed out. This type of arrangement does work for some and can be very exciting when it doesn't cause harm to the primary relationship. Unfortunately it is difficult to tell in advance whether it will end up being a point of contention in your marriage. Some things you just can't take back, even if they were a mistake. Tread carefully and have fun in whatever you choose to do.

 

Annette

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Sounds like a story out of Penthouse Letters. The bottom line is to do what you all want to do and feel confortable with. There are only a couple of people I will let mrsVjk play with alone, and they are long time friends. There are just too many bad things that can happen for a woman playing alone. But that's us.

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Originally posted by Spoomonkey

It is sobering to read accounts from those who have done it. There is a lot more to think about than just a fantasy. Reality is much more complicated.

This sums it up. Read the experiences and thoughts of others. From there you should be able to determine if this is something right for you.

 

I especially agree with Vjklander....there are too many bad things that can happen to a woman playing alone, even in the world of single dating, swinging not considered.

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I agree with most everything in the posts already made, especially the fact that you should never mix work with pleasure, what you husband is wanting you to do is really not as uncommon as one might think.

 

Although it is not considered "swinging" in the general definition of the word (couples who play together) there is a subculture of playing that is know as "Hot Wives". There are swingers who do play like this but most in this kind of playing only want the wife to go out and have sex while the husband stays at home and waits for her to get home to tell him everything that happened.

 

Definitely not everyone's cup of tea but it seems to work for those who are into it.

 

Like Vjklander said, as well as others there are just to many bad things that can happen to a woman playing alone. It's definitely not something I want to do or would even feel comfortable doing but...the fantasy is nice to play around with :D

 

Teresa

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As we have four kids at home it is not always possible for the both of us to get out together. Because of this, I have no problem with the Mrs. going out and having some fun. The anticipation of her coming home after she's had some wild sex with someone else is what I find fantastic. She also video tapes the whole thing for us to watch later and next thing I know, we end up doing the nasty until morning.

 

I know this is not for everyone but when you have kids at home you have to get a bit creative sometimes. Believe me, she doesn't mind having 6 - 8 orgasms in one night.

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It depends on one thing. Do you want to do it? If you don't want to then no I don't think you should. If you do want to and there are no other factors that we are missing here (like the guy is married or something) then go for it and have fun. As long as your husband is involved and knowledgable as to what is going on then there's nothing wrong with it.

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I do not really work with the guy. He is a truck driver who comes into where I work three times a week. The only thing that might happen at work is some flirtation.

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I say go for it. If your hubby is ok with it, it may be a turn on to him to hear everything...like reading his own erotic story, but it really happened.

 

If you are not comfortable with it, then dont. But be sure if you do to talk it out with your husband about rules on what you can or cannot do.

 

Just my thought

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Originally posted by lcjtsd

The anticipation of her coming home after she's had some wild sex with someone else is what I find fantastic.

Dito to this sentiment. Though we've not done it in a long time--first a bad experience with a clingy guy got in the way, then the kids did--I'd love to exerience it again.

 

Just be sure your husband is up for it, because knowing you're out there with another guy, alone, and that it's too late to turn back or stop it, is very intense--especially the first time. As big as a turn-on as it can be, it's also gut-wrenching.

 

Of course, if he's really into it, that's half the fun, as lcjtsd points out. For me, the mixture of loss of control, anticipation, curiousity and plain old lust made it one of the hottest experiences I've ever had. Jealousy was an issue the first time, but once I worked that out--fear had a big part to do with it, and she convinced me that it was "just sex" ("Just sex" half a dozen times in one night, mind you, but "just sex!")--it was awesome.

 

The other half of the fun is once she gets back home. And while I wish I'd been as lucky as lcjtsd and had video to enjoy (Maybe next time?!), the combination of her worked up from what she'd done and me ready to keel over from pent-up horniness made for fireworks the minute she walked in the door.

 

Good luck if you decide to go through with it!

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Originally posted by leftcoastcouple

Just be sure your husband is up for it, because knowing you're out there with another guy, alone, and that it's too late to turn back or stop it, is very intense--especially the first time. As big as a turn-on as it can be, it's also gut-wrenching.

 

fear had a big part to do with it

 

the combination of her worked up from what she'd done and me ready to keel over from pent-up horniness made for fireworks the minute she walked in the door.

 

Yes, the first time is VERY intense. I think I must have wanted to call her and tell her to come home about a dozen times before she got there. And when I knew she was with this guy, my thoughts kept switching from "What the hell are we doing" to "Damn, why didn't I go with to watch/participate". When she finally returned home three hours later, she played the video and I got soooo hot and horny. I was actually shaking like it was the first time I'd ever had sex. It was great!

 

No it's not for everyone but for those times when both of you just can't get away, it's a great alternative!

 

I don't know if we're just lucky or what but the two single guys Mrs. LCJTSD get together with have no problem at all with the video part. Just ask.

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i would rather that you do it with your husband watching and close by. Being solo means enjoying yourself without the benefit of your husband.Do a sandwich if youd prefer...hmmm... looks promising

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This thread interested me. I am a lurker, but enjoy this community of people. I am impressed by your openness, your level of commitment and your ability to still enjoy sex with other people.

 

I am interested that some people in this group think that swinging alone is risky. Since I don't swing, I would point out that any form of swinging is risky. More risk than my wife would ever consider. For most of you, you have moved to a place in your relationship where swinging as couples no longer feels risky to you. But you must not forget that at one time swinging as a couple was risky and arguably still is risky.

 

Given this, I would have to assume that it isn't really much more risk to swing alone. It is simply a question of where you decide to draw the risk line. For most of you, it is already pretty high. But likewise for most of you, your level of commitment and the security most of you feel in each other's life seems to overcome that. But it did strike me as interesting that swinging alone seems so risky to so many on this board, yet no one has mentioned that any form of swinging is risky.

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Originally posted by tmyis

Since I don't swing, I would point out that any form of swinging is risky.

 

But it did strike me as interesting that swinging alone seems so risky to so many on this board, yet no one has mentioned that any form of swinging is risky.

 

I would like to point out a couple of things to you.

 

First, You are NOT a swinger! Therefore you have no idea of what the lifestyle is like, or about. You cannot judge something you don't know on your assumptions. You do not know the precautions taken by most in this lifestyle.

 

Second, this thread was about a woman having sex without her partner present, not about the other risks of swinging. We as swingers are aware of the risks we may face. They are no more than that of a sexually active single, save the relationship factor.

 

There is a whole forum dedicated to this subject. You can read more at the STD/Safesex Forum.

 

Thus the reason for no discussion in this thread about the risks you perceived we failed to talk about. :rolleyes:

 

Thank you for you interest, and your opinion.

 

mrs hmr

:)

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It finally happened last night. I had my date and got home around daylight today.

 

It was fun and we both had a great time. I woke hubby up by going down on him, I was so horney. It really turned me on to know that he trusted me enough to allow me to have fun. When I came home our sex together was treat, thanks for the advice.

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:claps: Glad you had fun! I'm surprised you had to wake hubby up. My hubby was so excited that he couldn't sleep.

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Me and the wife actually have never done a couple thing, we have both played separately. We have done several mfm's but that all started after she went out with him a few times alone. Even now she is still seeing him alone...After all it is just sex...

 

We have 1 rule, any of us, me, or even him can call it off.

 

My advice is if you do it, be open about feelings towards him...And watch for any jealousy.

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Originally posted by hmr

Thus the reason for no discussion in this thread about the risks you perceived we failed to talk about.

I could be wrong, but I didn't get the impression that tmyis was talking about risks in the form of STDs and safe sex. I read his message as saying that the risks to a relationship posed by engaging in separate activities are similar to those posed by swinging in general. With both ventures, there is the risk of jealousy, or of things turning into "more than sex." For this reason I am somewhat astonished by the number of swingers who are adamantly opposed to swinging separately.

 

The way Piggy and I see it is that one of the main reasons our relationship is so strong is that we allow each other a degree of independence. Although we have never had sex without the other there, neither of us really sees a problem with it. On a couple of occasions I have had to head out before her in the morning, leaving her in bed with someone else. Nothing happened aside from some cuddling, but I don't see it being an issue if she had decided to go for a morning romp after I'd left!

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I agree if you are questioning it don't do it. I guess I should say I agree with not doing it! Sounds like it could be a disaster for the relationship. Don't get caught up in the rush of things.

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:confused: Ok, I thought I was intelligent, but now I'm not so sure. Is there a difference between swinging and an open marriage? It would explain a lot of things

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Originally posted by mxdtxn774

:confused: Ok, I thought I was intelligent, but now I'm not so sure. Is there a difference between swinging and an open marriage? It would explain a lot of things

 

Well, we were going to try to clearly define swinging and open relationships, and then compare and contrast them. However, we realized that, although we know they're different (we've done both), it's not that easy to do.

 

If we had to give an answer at gun-point, it would be communication, communication, communication. Swingers communicate their intrest, desires, and feelings about everything. They communicate the rules/boundaries. They communicate what they've done, and what they would like to do in the future.

 

Our "open relationship" nearly ended our marriage. The only thing open in that kind of lifestyle is your fly... From the beginning it was doomed to fail, and it took us over 10 years to build things back, and correct our mistakes.

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Now realizing this, I can see why I nearly destroyed my own.

 

I had confused the two terms, thinking that swinging meant seeing other people without the other spouse present. Of course, I was looking at the swingers boards, and could not understand why no one wanted a single guy, and felt hurt that my wife was getting all the play. I realize now what OUR mistakes were.

 

Communication - a lack of it.

 

Jealousy-which will not go away.

 

Misrepresentation-on both our parts.

 

And to top it all off, a messed up definition. :lol:

 

Thankfully we are working on it, but it was bad for a while.

 

So thanks for the proper definition, I will chalk all of it up to a learning experience.

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wildwife1010 said:
We have been swinging for about two years now. My husband wants me to go out with this guy who has been flirting with me at work. He says the only rule is that I have to tell him everything that happens. Do you think I should do this or not?

 

Isn't it the same thing that you have been doing...Swinging, just without him there.

 

He has said that it is OK, if you like the guy and you find him attractive go for it.

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The work issue is a big red flag, in my opinion.

 

Also ... if this other man does not have swing experience, I would be very suspicious of his motives. His interest in you may be more than sexual, though he might deny it. Or his interest might grow because he sees sex as equal to a "dating" relationship. Or perhaps he is one of those men who seeks the ego boost of coming between a wife and husband. Any of these scenarios is a major mismatch with your and your husband's motives ... which sets up at a minimum annoyance, at a maximum bad feelings all around. (And perhaps job-hunting on your part.)

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      She stood in front of me as I sat in the chair. I pulled the robe belt and opened slowly opened the robe.  She was naked and moved her chair in front of me and opened the robe and leaned forward and kissed me deep.  She moved my head down into her crotch and I got on my knees and went at it not believing what was happening.  She was enjoying the moment, she moaned she was coming and squeezed her legs around my head. 
       
      When she released my head from the grasp of her legs she took my hand and brought me into her bedroom.  She sat on the bed as I undressed. I rubbed her legs gently and picked them up high and spread them apart, she fell back, and I penetrated that wet beautiful tasting pussy. 
       
      I pounded her over and over and when I stopped I got on the bed.  I laid on my back and she put my hard cock in her mouth and started sucking me and would not stop until I came, and she told me how good I taste.  We laid there for a few minutes not speaking and I was ready again and I turned her on her side and lifted one leg over my shoulder and began pounding her again.  We went on for awhile and she had another orgasm and told me to cum inside her.  She got on top and pounded me and made me explode inside her. 
       
      We laid there together for a while, eyes closed resting, when her phone rang.  It was Tim, he made it to the mountains and just checking in.  I was feeling bad for what just happened, but it was a great experience.  She repeated out loud what Tim asked - "What are you doing?" Jean replied - "Well, Allan stopped over to pick up Susan’s purse she left over here last night.  I invited him in and we had a cup of coffee.  I was in my robe and one thing led to another and I had Allan’s face in my crotch. Then we took it to the bedroom, and we had a giant orgasmic experience.  I will tell you all about it when you get home.  Are you OK with this?  Good, I will tell Allan.  Have fun skiing.”
       
      So, in discussing this with Jane I said I was shocked at what she just told Tim.  She said, “We are always honest with each other.  It will be so hot when he returns home, I will be in for another great time.  So, I am also going to be honest with you.  You wife left the purse here on purpose.  She asked me if I would give you some great sex because you were a sweetheart last weekend.  You worked it out so she could be with the gentleman she picked up at the club and she felt that you missed out, so she came up with this idea.  But please understand, I was looking forward to it and it was a fantastic morning fuck with a good friend.  Tim was not aware of this, but I will work it out with him when I explain the story.  Susan said she the four of us can get together, or she will get with Tim alone if he prefers and you are OK with it.  You have a great caring wife Allan.  Please tell her thanks for including me in this scheme.”
    • By Maturecouple1122
      Last year, my husband revealed that his biggest fantasy was me being a hot wife and fuck other men. He said it turned him on to see another man’s cock in all my holes.
       
      A few months ago, he took me to an upscale hotel in Dallas, I finally gave him what he wanted.  He was the wildest Saturday in my life. 
       
      First, he booked an in-room massage for me.  The masseur was a young, well-built black man.  As I laid on his massage table, he slipped out of his clothes.  I swear his cock hung nearly to his knees. At the end of the massage, he started rubbing my clit and fingering me.  He brought me off several times. He then moved closer to my head and started rubbing my tits, pinching my nipples, and fingering my cunt at the same time.  His semi-hard cock was within a foot of my mouth so I reached out and put in my mouth.  He instantly became hard as I sucked him.  He then grabbed my head and pushed his cock down my throat.  I soon felt and tasted his cum flowing down my throat. 
       
      After he left, I texted my husband and told him to come up to the room.  I thanked him profusely and stepped into the shower while J laid out my clothes for the evening.  When I finished my shower, I saw my outfit J picked out.  It was a blue silk dress with chains with three chains across the back.  Obviously, no bra tonight.  He also didn’t pack any underwear as he wanted me to go “commando.” A new pair of stilettos accompanied the beautiful dress.  When I finished my makeup, I slipped on the dress.  The dress was very short, only 3 inches below my pussy.  The material was very clingy and you could clearly see my nipples and areolas. After I finished dressing, J told me an Uber was waiting for me outside to take me to a fancy cocktail bar about 4 blocks away.  He told me to sit at the bar and order a drink.  He would be along in an hour or so. 
       
      I nervously climbed into the Uber.  As I slid into the back seat, the hotel door man got a good peak up my dress as it slid up my thighs.  Our sex life was beginning a new chapter. 
       
      I walked into the bar and felt the eyes of every guy turn towards me. I sat at the bar and ordered a Manhattan. It didn't take long for the first guy to sit next to me.  Within 5 minutes, a handsome Hispanic man asked if he could sit next to me and buy me a drink.  I nervously agreed.  As we chatted, he scooted his chair closer to me and placed a hand on my thigh.  My bare thing!
       
      He repeatedly eyed my body from top to bottom.  The dress that was hugging my body, and my swaying breasts.  I wore a gold necklace that hung just above my cleavage. He lifted my necklace up to look at it and brushed my breast as he did so. 
       
      Shortly after another guy approached. He was also handsome & charming, but there was a bit of an edge to him. He bought me a drink, we chatted a bit, and this time I did feel excited.
       
      His name was E and he owned his own business. He was very handsome so I really didn’t care about that information.  As we started our second drink together, husband arrived.  I now knew where this was going. 
       
      The three of us had a nice dinner and did some dancing.  E- then asked if I wanted to get out of there. I knew what that meant, so I eagerly said yes.
       
      The three of us to our hotel room.  J made us some drinks while E started to caress and kiss me.  The drapes to our room were open.  As admiring the beautiful Dallas skyline, E slipped my dress off which sank to the floor.  He asked me to keep my shoes on.  I watched our reflections as E kissed me all over.  He lifted me up and pressed me against the window. The glass was cold against my bare breasts but I didn’t care as E’s hot breath kept me warm.  Soon he pushed me onto the bed.
       
      I pushed myself away from him, turned around, got on my knees and unzipped his pants, revealing a nice, uncut cock. I gave E the experience of his life, sucking him off in front of the window. I started slow and methodical, but after warming up starting sucking him at a feverish pace. He groaned, occasionally telling me how good it felt and how I was a good little cock sucker.  His hand grabbed my head, pulling me deeper into him. I took every inch of him in, then felt his cum shooting into the back of my throat as he gave a deep groan.  He held me there as I took all of his cum in, swallowing every drop. As his half hard cock left me mouth, I looked up at him, giving both him and J a mischievous grin.
       
      He took forced me back onto the bed and started licking my cunt. I felt my first orgasm of the evening come over me as he licked my cunt, tongued my clit, and fingered my asshole. 
      As I came down from my orgasm, I felt his hard cock slip into my soaking wet pussy. He asked if he needed a condom.  I said “No, I want your raw cock in me."
       
      His cock started sliding in and out, in and out. The whole time he whispered in my ear, telling me how good my pussy made him feel... how tight it was... how wet it was. How naughty of a girl I was for taking in the cock of a man I just met.
       
      He moved me over onto my hands and knees. He kept sliding in and out of me, dominating my pussy as he fucked me hard.  "Oh yeah, fuck me." I said to him. He started thrusting harder into me. I felt my second orgasm of the night building. "Don't stop, I'm going to cum."
       
      My body gave out as my second orgasm overtook me. Holy shit did that feel good. Just as I began to come down from it, I felt him give a big thrust and cum deep inside my unprotected pussy.
       
      He collapsed onto my back, his heavy body pressing me into the bed. "God you're so sexy," he growled into my ear.
       
      We laid together in silence on the bed as J watched us basking in the afterglow of our fucking. I then felt J on the bed.  He was on his back with a nice erection.  I took him into my mouth then J said, "Ride me please."  I straddled J and started riding his cock. 
       
      J then grabbed my waist and pinned me.  I then felt E working a lubed finger into my ass.  I slowed my pace and steadied my breath as I took his entire finger in my ass.  I bit my lip and waited for the next step.  I then felt E slip his cock into my ass.  I now had my husband in my cunt and my new lover in my ass.  The two men started fucking me in earnest.  "Fuuuuccckkkk..." I groaned as his cock entered me again. J and I did anal sex all the time, but this was a bigger cock than I was used to plus J was in my pussy making every hole tighter.  I simply hung on for the ride of my life. 
       
      After letting my ass adjust to E’s cock, he started thrusting into me, very slow and methodically at first. He then started fucking me like his life depended on it.  It didn't take long until my most powerful orgasm yet overtook me. I let out a groan-scream as my ass pulsed around his cock.
       
      E and J kept fucking me through my orgasm, gradually picking up the pace. Then the let out a groan and came inside ass and cunt. My holes were now filled with cum. 
       
      It was the best Saturday of my life.  Counting the masseur, I took two loads in my mouth, two in my cunt, and one in my ass.  After E left, J and I cuddled and drifted off to sleep.  I had the sweetest of dreams.
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