Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31

Thread: Charity Sex

  1. Back To Top | #1

    Default Charity Sex

    My question is about the way a woman feels about the importance she places on her giving of sex, her charitability or her absolute insistance on certain types of men. My question is for the wives of couples who often go to on-premisis clubs and your style is to swing independant of one another. Suppose you, the wife, talks to a male at several parties. He seems nice, meets all your physical requirements, not to fat, not to tall or short, etc. but just does'nt turn you on. Maybe a little to old, not great looking, yet seems nice enough a guy. You would not initiate sex with him, he is just not what you like in men. But you know he wants you, bad. Maybe he is a little older and it would make his year to bed a young sexy looker like you. Or he may not be handsome, not ugly but not handsome and he would give a weeks pay to charity for sex with you. Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Wow, although I am the husband I still know my wife pretty well and can say no, she will not have sex with a guy just to have sex with him. Mrs. WS has to have some kind of chemistry with him and really be turned-on by him to get naked with him.

    I will say though that chemistry goes pretty far. She has not been attracted to some men I thought for sure was her type (and physically they were but they just didn't click) and she has been all over other men I would have never thought in a million years she would be attracted to.

    So although she would never go for the "mercy fuck", she has surprised me over and over when I try to second-guess her on who turns her on.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  3. Back To Top | #3
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    No doubt how Mrs Spoo would/will answer...

    Having had bad experiences, we both insist on chemistry. If there is no chemistry, there is no sex. And fucking some guy to "make his day" isn't why we got into the lifestyle (though, I have no doubt she has made many days for many men They just happened to make her day as well).

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?
    Been there, done that in one swing situation and with a former fiance - and would never do that again. Mutual chemistry/attraction is required, in more than just swinging.

    Rebecca
    Still on the learning curve...
    I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I have done the charity sex thing and TRUST ME its a bad idea. I guess it wasn't so much charity sex, as much as it was lack of options at the club. But afterwards I felt disgusting because I really wasn't attracted to the man all that much, he was much older, and once the clothes were off..... Anyhow, I completely discourage it.

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I gave at the office.
    No I would not have charity sex. It seems to be a matter of self respect.
    If he is not someone I would like to have sex with no matter how sweet he is I am not giving it up. It seems to me by the ones who did give in and had sex that I am right in holding out for someone who is a good match as far as chemisty goes.
    With me it is not age, or looks that attract or deture me it is weather or not they care enough about themselves to take care of themselves and not be putting themselves in a situation where a women will take pity on him and have sex.
    Show some pride in yourself and the sex will be because the women respects you enough to be wanting to have sex with you.
    Your friend,
    Prettylady
    To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Um... no to pity sex. I hate it when situations like this come up and they have. I feel bad in a way because I do like the guy as a person but there are a lot of people I like as a person and I'm not going to go having sex with every person who wants to have sex with me just because I think they are a great person.

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Hell, no wonder I can't laid! Time for plan B, the Visa Platinum card ......



    Chip
    "I realized then that the wages of sin
    was a bad reputation and too many friends"
    The Rainmakers

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I can confidentely say that Mrs. GT would not do charity sex. You limited your question to women, but I have to say, I wouldn't give a woman charity sex either. If a woman does not turn me on sexually, it isn't going to happen.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I've given charity sex to a guy I was dating. He was a great guy, I was totally attracted to him intellectually, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him physically. Somehow for some reason the chemistry wasn't there. I regret it to this day.

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    ...Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?
    Not no but HELL NO. There is no such thing as "Charity" sex, that is just whoring yourself out. You either WANT to have sex with a person regardless of what your reasons are or you do NOT want to have sex with a person, also regardless of the reasons. It's just insulting to both parties.
    The World's mine Oyster - William Shakespeare, "The Merry Wives of Windsor"

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Looking pitiful is not sexy and sex with no attraction sucks. It REALLY sucks. If he'd give a week's pay to have sex with a hot chick, he needs to look in the phonebook. Some good-looking "professional" would be glad to take his money.

    Pepper
    "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    My question is about the way a woman feels about the importance she places on her giving of sex, her charitability or her absolute insistance on certain types of men. My question is for the wives of couples who often go to on-premisis clubs and your style is to swing independant of one another. Suppose you, the wife, talks to a male at several parties. He seems nice, meets all your physical requirements, not to fat, not to tall or short, etc. but just does'nt turn you on. Maybe a little to old, not great looking, yet seems nice enough a guy. You would not initiate sex with him, he is just not what you like in men. But you know he wants you, bad. Maybe he is a little older and it would make his year to bed a young sexy looker like you. Or he may not be handsome, not ugly but not handsome and he would give a weeks pay to charity for sex with you. Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?
    I have never been in this situation. But I know me pretty well, and I would say no to this. Although its flattering for a man to want you that much most women just can't lay down and make love to a man they aren't clicking with. This has nothing to do with looks, either. I recently talked to a man who met all of the physical requirements. I spoke with him (via IM), and it just was not there at all. And I wanted it to be there, too lol. It hurt when I came to terms with the fact that we just didn't click. But yeah, it would seem almost degrading to be with a man that you aren't attracted to sexually.
    Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho
    Shelly

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I wrote this thread. I gave you a man with everything you would require except an attraction to him. And everyone said no . Well, except the guy who figured out thats why he cant get laid . I agree, I could not get it up for a female I was not attracted to, unless I was intoxicated and really horny or it was a party gang bang or group sex. A woman can be ready when she lays down. You said you would'nt do that (or again) just for him even though you would be getting what you were there for, to have sex with another man . It is an attraction that is necessary. What is that attraction? You have said it is not looks, liking the guy, or someone you were even attracted to enough to date . Even husbands think their wife will go for a certain guy and she goes for someone they would never have expected . What is this attraction? I cant tell you Surrender. It seems like the subject for another thread (by someone else please). But if one of you ladies can tell us how to be attractive beyond the obvious, you can replace Oprah on the money list.

  15. Back To Top | #15
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    What is this attraction?
    It is extremely complex and - at the same time - amazingly simple. It is called chemistry. When it is there - you know it. When it is not - you can try to make it happen, but it won't.

    There is nothing you can do to make yourself attractive to a partner. Sure, you can get some cologne, bathe a bit more often, hit the gym regularly - but still chemistry is what chemistry is.

    It can be a vengeful bitch...

    I think it is something that you experience and accept - or you never perceive it and spend your life trying to "create" it with self-help books and penis pumps. Be yourself - be friendly - be genuine - be patient. And in the end, things work out beautifully.

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    OK, now don't everyone take this the wrong way but...,
    I could see a lot of married folks saying that they do that all the time with their spouse! LOL!
    58 years old and married for 34 of 'em.
    "Caged contentedly, yet still looking out beyond the bars."

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    A woman can be ready when she lays down.
    Really wow I didn't realize I was making it more complicated that that. Actually while we may be physically capable of having sex it doesn't make us physically ready in any way.

    One for me no lubricant is produced and two I am extremely tight and very non responsive....so no fun and definately NOT READY.

    As for " Charity Sex" it is hard to define because for me as I get to know someone there is in some way an attraction that forms. No they wouldn't be my chosen physical partner but then again they become good friends and eventually some level of attraction forms. At that time if they make it known they are interested I would have sex with them. Only a one time deal and only with that understanding....

    I have also in the past "taken one for the team" slept with an non -attraction person so partner can be with the one he wants. Did that at the start of my swinging years, I no longer take one for the team.....now we have to have a mutual situation or no go.

    Attraction is very complicated and works differently for different people. I find there are those I can instantly say WOW, then slowly or very rapidly depending on their personality lose that attraction. There are others I barely notice but after a while their personality starts to grab my attention and then bam one day I look at them and go, hmmm I could have a bit of that.
    Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Funny, but I was just considering this very topic related to a couple we know this week. My answer is NO WAY.

    I tried to bring myself to do it; to make the guy's year. But, as much as I love to please others, I just couldn't force it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spoomonkey
    It is extremely complex and - at the same time - amazingly simple. It is called chemistry. When it is there - you know it. When it is not - you can try to make it happen, but it won't.

    There is nothing you can do to make yourself attractive to a partner. Sure, you can get some cologne, bathe a bit more often, hit the gym regularly - but still chemistry is what chemistry is.

    Spoomonkey
    You called it!

    Just curious - anyone here ever develop chemistry for someone who they thought was entirely not "their type?"

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by good times
    I can confidentely say that Mrs. GT would not do charity sex. You limited your question to women, but I have to say, I wouldn't give a woman charity sex either. If a woman does not turn me on sexually, it isn't going to happen.

    Dito good times! I'm the same way about women too.
    Sweet_Candy

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl
    Just curious - anyone here ever develop chemistry for someone who they thought was entirely not "their type?"
    All the dang time. With most of our playmates, they guy is not my "type", but through talking to them, etc., chemistry develops. It's taught me that I can't always tell on first sight whether there will be attraction or not. With guys, I've been surprised at who I've had fun with, and who I thought would be fun, but really wasn't.

    Pepper
    "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    But if one of you ladies can tell us how to be attractive beyond the obvious, you can replace Oprah on the money list.
    You know, its hard! Who can figure women out, anyways lol.
    With Jay, I'll be honest with you. The first thing that attracted me to him honestly was 2 things: he was always impecably dressed and clean, and he always smelled GREAT (Eternity for Men is still my favorite). That literally is what made me give him that second look, the fact that he always smelled so damn good! I have to say, sometimes I am attracted to a man who doesn't fit the normal "mold", and even I can't say why. Some men have an unexplainable sexuality about them. Confidence goes a long way. AND GROOMING as well. Please guys, take care of yourself. I'm not talking skinny or fat. I'm talking dress nice, smell nice, keep your hair looking good. That really attracts me alot to a guy. AND of course, personality.
    Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho
    Shelly

  22. Back To Top | #22
    Chimpin' Ain't Easy Spoomonkey's Avatar
    Status
    Married Monkeys - will you be our vine?
    SLS Handle
    Spoomonkey

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by alphaplaycpl
    Just curious - anyone here ever develop chemistry for someone who they thought was entirely not "their type?"
    Absolutely!

    Every now and then, something will just spark between me and someone. I thought either I wasn't their type - or they weren't mine. But the next thing you know, there are sparks. I'm convinced that if we'd turned off the lights, you'd have actually seen them

    Spoomonkey
    "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

  23. Back To Top | #23

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    I agree Spoo, it is chemestry. But that is a technical word about chemicals. We use "chemestry" as a slang. What does a female see, sense, feel when she talks to a strange male for a few minutes in a sex club, with all the disturbance and distractions going on, that makes her want to go to a back room and let him fuck her ass off? Does she sense it with a glance, does she watch him over some short period of time to detect signs that she responds to, does it take conversation? It is something noticed that she likes, a lot of.
    Probably different amoung women. What do you women think it is? And I realize that whatever it is cannot be an act for men to make themselves attractive. With a guy it is simple, she has a decent body, not bad looking, wants to fuck....Woodie! The female determins yes or no, otherwise it would be rape.
    What attracts you to a man, understanding that looks play the first part in selecting a man and how he responds to you in conversation, we assume friendly and honest and receptive. What do you see or feel that does the deal?

  24. Back To Top | #24

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cracker60479
    With a guy it is simple, she has a decent body, not bad looking, wants to fuck....Woodie! The female determins yes or no, otherwise it would be rape.
    Not true for Drew. There have been women that have had all of that, and yet....nothing. There's even been women that he thought it would be really hot to be with her, and then said later on that it was really boring. So chemistry goes both ways.


    What attracts you to a man, understanding that looks play the first part in selecting a man and how he responds to you in conversation, we assume friendly and honest and receptive. What do you see or feel that does the deal?
    That's the thing. It's nothing that can be described or predicted. There have been perfectly nice looking guys that responds to me in conversation, nice, polite, etc. Guys that you'd think I'd be attracted to, but they left me limp (figuratively, that is ). It's really interesting.

    Pepper
    "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

  25. Back To Top | #25

    Default Re: Charity Sex

    We've all been there. You are physically attracted to someone but upon talking with them or maybe even getting naked with them realize there isn't any "chemistry". And, someone apparently isn't your type but after talking to them a little you want to devour them.

    How many times have you been attracted to someone and felt chemistry but then after having sex with them you realize it might have been time better spent channel surfing?

    We humans are funny creatures and it's sometimes an exercise in futility to explain our actions or feelings.
    Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
The Swingers Board is an online swinging community with something for everyone. Experienced swingers and those just curious about the swinging lifestyle are all welcome. We invite you to participate in the discussion forums, member blogs, swinger chat room, swinger stories, member photo galleries, swinger club listings and reviews, and all other areas of the site.


This site is run by a real swinger couple with the assistance of a great team of forum moderators who are also swingers. This site is free, and membership is open to all legal adults. While guests are able to view much of the site, registering will allow you access to all areas and full privileges.


Safe, sane, funny, smart, sexy - become a member and experience the Swingers Board!

Links
SwingLifeStyle Where REAL Swingers Meet

SwingTowns - It's Different @swingTowns

Swinger Zone Central The Zone - Get Into It

SDC SwingersDateClub for couples

Kasidie Sexually social

Adult FriendFinder Find Adult Sex and Friends

Alt.com BDSM and Fetish Dating Site

Wicked Temptations Wickedly Sexy Clothing

Sex Toy Fun Huge Selection, Great Prices!

Swingers Board
Subscribe to our newsletter!
E-mail Address

subscribe
unsubscribe