This wasn't a situation with another couple but with a single woman. My partner and I had been seeing each other for about 6 years. We had an ad on AFF and connected with a woman. She and I emailed and chatted and then met for a drink. All went well and we set a date for all of us to get together.
Well, everythiing went fine, as far as I was concerend. Everyone came, all seemed to have a good time. There were a couple of worrisome things from her though. When she and I met for drinks she commented on the men that were looking at me, smiling at me. She said that men never noticed her. Then, the night we all got together she and I walked to a burger place to bring dinner back to the hotel. She again commented on how men looked at me and not her. To my mind this was absolutely unnecessary to say and it sounded like insecurity on her part.
During the next week or so she and I IM'd but her responses were getting less and less. I told my partner that she hadn't responded to me in days and he finally admitted that she was IM'ing with him. He said it was my fault that she wasn't communicating with me because I didn't "treat her like the slut she wanted to be treated like." He said that of course since I had disappointed her by telling her that I would she was justified in turning to him to get what she needed. WTF??? I never told her such a thing and in fact I had told her that I wasn't a dominant type, HE was. He didn't believe me. I wanted to tell this woman that if she didn't want US then move on. He was setting up a gang bang with her and his friends supposedly just for her, that he wouldn't have sex with her, and if I messed it up for him then there would be hell to pay.
OMG... how could he do this to me, to us? How could he let this woman ignore me and reward her for it? And then try and bar me from contacting her? AND blame me for her actions and his? This was beyond any pain that I can describe. There has to be trust that NO ONE, for ANY REASON will ever come between us in these situations.
I truly believe that this woman, who expressed her insecurity and jealousy of men looking at me turned to him and deliberately left me out, painted me as the bad guy in all of this. For his own selfish and hurtfull reasons he let it happen, encouraged it even. A long time later I forwarded him the email that I had responded to her statements that she liked to be told what to do and I had said that I wasn't that type but he was. It didn't matter. To this day he says it's my fault that she did that and he was obliged to fulfill what she expressed that she wanted because I hadn't.