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Lovemates28

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Lovemates28 last won the day on April 5 2009

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About Lovemates28

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Couple
  • Location
    Indianapolis
  • Swinging Experience
    Just getting started
  1. I like that line... I'm probably going to have to use it! Thanks for all the feedback folks, I'll post updates as I get them.
  2. Update: So I met her and everything was cool. She walked right up to me, with a big genuine smile, looked me straight in the eye and introduced herself. We talked a few times during the night, joked about how we were both glad to be over the whole "first meeting" and by the end of the night, she gave me a big hug goodbye. I wouldn't go so far as to say we're BFF's, but I think she won't be terrified of me anymore. Mr. Lovemates still might wait a bit before jumping back in with her, just until I get a chance to spend some more time talking with her (not when she's hostessing a party). But I'd say the first meet went a lot better that I would have ever thought! I truely expected this to be a nightmare and that to be the end of the two of them. But if things stay cool, I think we'll be back on track! Thanks to everyone for all your thoughts!
  3. Thanks iapr for getting back on here and clearing things up. Yes, my husband is making an effort to get us together. I think it's less intimidating for this girl that way anyways. My husband has repeatedly said to both of us that I come first and my needs come first. I also agree with the fish statement, which is why my husband is not going to be sleeping with her until we get things straightened out. I trust my husband and that the stink isn't coming from him. Optimistically, I'm hoping the stink is just this girls unfamiliarity with the swinging/open lifestyle. But I'm also prepared (as is my husband) for a less happy scenario where she does want something inappropriate and in which case, we're stopping things. And as for the work thing, generally I would side with people and say that playing with someone at work is a terrible idea. But this one seems to be working okay. My husband and her don't work together at all (they only met through a chance run-in at the copy machine), they have separate bosses, departments, responsibilities and such. When they're at work, they talk mostly through texting on cell phones unless they go to lunch together. And they don't play at work, they either play during lunch (not extended lunches either) or at her place after work if I have to work late. (My husband won't let her take up "my" time and she understands that.) So while I'm sure there are the average number of rumors going around as there would be any time a male and female co-worker are friends, it seems to be working out fine.
  4. rpu3 and IvoryTowers, thank you so much for your support and listening! You two have been great and I appreciate reading all of your posts. I will definitely come back and let you know how it all goes. And with the lunch thing, it would definitely not be sprung on her or a surprise at all! My husband is planning on letting her know on Monday that I'll be coming by on Wednesday. We're going to kind of play it by ear and see where that leaves us for this weekend. And thanks Julie for your story. It has occurred to both of us that this might be the end of the two of them playing on the side (which we are okay with), but I hadn't quite thought of it the way you pointed out. I appreciate your insight!
  5. First of all, I do not appreciate the negative comments against my husband. He is not going to leave me for this girl, he is not misleading or lying to me, he is not having an affair, and he is not saying bad things about me behind my back. How do I know this? Because he is my husband and I know him. You do not. Plus, I trust him. If I didn't trust him, we would have a whole other truck load of problems and we wouldn't be swinging. If you think he is doing something inappropriate in this situation, do voice your opinion. But remember that you are speaking about my husband so please try to do so with some respect. I think I am going to go to lunch with my husband again this week and at very least stop in and say hi to this girl and chat. From everything I've heard about her, I think we'll get along well. I think it may just be getting over the initial meet and doing that without living up to the terrifying image she has of "the wife". But my husband has decided that he will not sleep with her until we come to some resolution for the situation, either that I meet her and approve or we make it a permanent "hands off". As for our lifestyle, my husband and I both swing. We've swapped with some couples, which is great, but we've also been with singles on occasion. But this was our first experience with someone not already in the lifestyle to some degree. That's why I was interested in coming on here and asking for advice.
  6. My husband met this girl through work and became friends with her. One thing led to another (with my knowledge and permission, of course) and they have been playing on the side for a few months now. Here's the kicker. She's terrified of me. I trust that my husband hasn't been telling her bad things about me behind my back, but she's just terrified of meeting her lovers wife. For example, I went to meet my husband for lunch at his work one day. My husband mentioned to this girl that I was coming and she freaked out and hid the entire time I was at his work, just so we won't run into each other or even pass each other in a hallway. Ridiculous! Even worse, my husband got invited to her birthday party. But when he mentioned that he would be bringing me with him (since he doesn't know any of her friends), she uninvited him! After much back and forth, she decided to compromise with him. She would tell him where they were going, so we could "happen" to be there and run into them, but we still weren't technically invited. So for dinner, she wants us to be in the same restaurant, but she's not going to invite us to sit at her table! This seems absolutely, insanely stupid to me. It's obvious she doesn't understand how this lifestyle works. She's treating the entire situation as if they are going around behind my back, even though my husband tells me what goes on with them. And the fact that she's so terrified of meeting me, even though she knows nothing about me, makes me wonder what she's feeling so guilty about. I don't want to be standing in the bedroom when they're going at it, I just don't want to feel like I'm completely outside the situation! I realize that an easy solution to this problem would be to just have my husband stop having sex with her. But it would be such a shame because they are good friends and they have good chemistry. Another option would be an ultimatim, either meet the wife or no more sex with the husband. But I can't see how any meeting so forced like that could have any kind of positive results! So, does anyone have other advice for this situation? Also, what kind of experience have you had with singles that are outside the lifestyle? Is it possible for them to understand? Have you had good experiences? Bad ones that you can share what went wrong? Thanks in advanced everyone!
  7. For me it's the eyes that first catch my attention. Probably because you can tell so much through a persons eyes, intelligence, mood, interest level, attitude, etc. After the eyes then it's the face in general, especially the smile, a girl with a great smile is just pleasant to be around. (A great butt sure doesn't hurt either!)
  8. Wow, I just want to say THANKS! My husband and I have never tried anything like this before. But this post really got me going and the thought of my husband fisting me drove me absolutely crazy. So after reading this post I went and jumped him (he says thanks btw) and told him how badly I wanted him to fist me. Well, we didn't get that far, but my husband did try two fingers and his unit and it sent me to the moon and back (three times in about 30 seconds actually). So needless to say, that's now been moved up in my fantasy list. Another fantasy is similar to what a lot of other people have said. I want to be blindfolded and tied up and just have my husband and the other couple do erotic things to me and use me. The thought of having 6 hands on me and 3 pairs of lips and other equipment and not having any idea what belongs to who is awesome. And additionally having the other guy being doing things to me while I hear my hubby screwing the other girl in the background, even though I can't see it. (Even better if she's loud!)
  9. (husband) For any worthy kiss my eyes are closed. Little pecks and kissing anywhere but the lips they're open. Like some others have mentioned I really enjoy seeing the body movements of my wife and how she's reacting to what I'm doing.
  10. (Husband here) Lot's of kissing, mutual masterbation, and oral would be our favored forms of foreplay. She is actually more into fingers than oral sex, probably putting her in the minority on that subject.
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