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Magrathea

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15 Good

About Magrathea

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/25/1980

Personal Info

  • Location
    DFW area
  • Swinging Experience
    7 months, give or take.

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  1. The question of the hour! I think there are a few sources. The most notable being that I was at one point involed with a Christian cult which left me with a few scars. I am passed the vast majority of the sexual disfunction they created, but I was there during my formative years so it is not only possible but highly probable that this issue comes from there. Another is the way my cousin was treated by my family when she came out of the closet. Of course, everyone is over it now, but for a long time she wasn't allowed around her sisters children and other crazy things like that. Also, I've been made fun of fairly often for the fact that my constant search for who I am has landed me in interesting religions and relationships and has also helped me to make some choices that other members of my family are less than thrilled by. (nudism, swinging, ect.) Then, of course, there is my desire to be an individual because of all the time I spent following the crowd. I don't care to be the standard was-straight-started-swinging-is-now-bisexual woman that seems so prevelant in the lifestyle. In fact, I've commented in the past that with so many profiles saying that the woman is bi it seems like there are a lot of husbands who want threesomes and a lot of wives who are just going along for his sake... How interesting that would be if I then became one of the many bisexual women on SLS?!?! Those are a few of my thoughts. Another friend has told me that I'm simply too analytical for my own good. That is certainly possible. Mag
  2. Let me say, for the record, that I got drunk that night at about 8, everything started at about 10 and it didn't stop until about 3. I did have too much to drink, but I remember everything clearly and sobered up (mostly) sometime before the guys got home from the store. I just want to make that clear because I don't want ya'll to think that this was a drunken situation... although, it started as one, it didn't remain as such. And I hold liquor pretty well anyway. That being said, the problem is simply that there is a problem. I can't put my finger on it... maybe it is just the label... Anyway, thanks for the comments. I've talked to M about it and she said that she was more open to it to begin with so everything is fine with her.... just pleasant memories. I sort of feel guilty about the memories being pleasant for me. I don't really know where to go from here. I was thinking of changing my SLS from straight to bi-curious, but I'm very nervous about the storm that will stir up. LOL.
  3. To start, I should let you know a little about our swinging life. Our first experience was last November. We played with them only once. The second couple we played with was in January and we played with them 3 times. We are still friends with both couples and both times it was full swap, seperate rooms. We took a break for a while just to make sure it was all settling okay and "re-joined" the lifestyle a couple of months ago, but we have only played twice since then... the most recent of those times being the focus of my little issue. The first time was soft swap, same room, which I was trying because I wanted to see if I could do full swap, same room... something Mr. Magrathea would like to try. Turns out, I know myself pretty well and when I said seperate rooms only I was spot on. Then came Friday...... We invited J & M out for dinner and then to our house. They are the couple that we tried the same room thing with about a month and a half ago. They are soft swap, same room and we are full swap, seperate rooms so we all concluded that it wasn't a match right now and we would be vanilla(ish). Also, neither M nor I are bisexual. Write that down, it will be important later. Anyway, the evening started out with J announcing that the vanilla thing was totally official (he's waffled on it a few times) and then we all just hung out. Once my babies went to bed we started drinking. M and I weren't messing around about drinking so we had about 8 or 9 shots. At that point the question of what toys we own came up and we brought out the box. In the box we have this glow in the dark glitter stuff and M and I put some on just for fun. Shortly thereafter we decided it needed to be washed off. I said I was going to hop in the shower and J said something like, "you both can take one together" to which we promptly agreed. M and I thought it would be fun to put on a little show for the boys, but somehow our show ventured away from being just a show. We ended up kissing and fingering eachother even when the guys weren't there. Then we decided they should go to the store for a strap on. While they were gone, we couldn't keep our hands off eachother. We fooled around a bit and she went down on me. When the guys got home we ended up having sex with our husband on the same bed and after as we all laid there they mentioned that they went all the way to the store for the toys. We decided to try them and M fucked me with the strap on. Here's the issue: I really did have fun, so much so that I would be interested in exploring it further, but I have a bit of 'buyers remorse'. The current working theory is that I am NOT bi and I sort of like that theory. I am torn between wanting to play with another woman and feeling a bit shamed because I already have. I talked to my husband a bit and he claims to have "always known" and says that I'm denying myself. I just don't know what to do with everything that has happened. I guess I just want your thoughts and maybe a few probing questions so I can try and work this out. Thanks bunches. Mag
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