pakidesires

Thanks fun4Ds and all other who replied. I read all other the msgs with great concerns. I will be back once i choose my future path for sure. I will try it a little more and if it proves that this lifestyle is not for her i will stop. Hopefully, i will be back with her admiting that she is there with me.

I mentioned this as well, we have no communication barriers and can talk openly and trust each other. If she will not enjoy she will not say it. She has and will never pretend. There are many indications of her liking this lifestyle even before when we started it. Like, once i showed her porn cards and asked her to pick which excited her more and she picked two out of 50. In one a lady was holding two dicks, and the other quite similar. We wathch adult movies together and most of times she is excited when MFM scene is there. There are many indications which prompted me to go for it. but i did all the homework i could before acting it out.

I want those women's to share their thoughts, if possible.

I 100% agree with you fun4Ds. I would love to hear from your wife, what actually went thru her mind when she did not enjoy and then after 2 years what charmed her back to this. This is actually i want to know. To read the mind of a women who has gone thru these stages of deniel and then pleasure.

Sorry for being late in my reply. I read all the replies with great interest and instead of replying each post separately I will try to summarize many points i gathered from all the posts. 1. We have married for 10+ years already and enjoy a very friendly and open relationships with each other. As I mentioned we can talk openly on just any topic. I have my hots on with one of her close relatives and I had no problems telling her the same. This is just to tell you people that we can share and talk our very internal thoughts very easily. 2. Why I think she will enjoy it laters? It will take her some time to absorb all this something very new and strange to her. I remember, when I first introduced her the idea, she refused to accept that there would be a single male on earth who would think the same for her wife. Her initial concern was that later in our life I will regret it and may taunt her as well, but as time passed by she was ready to give it a try but mentioned specifically that she was doing it only for my pleasure. This whole process comprises of more then a year. 3. I do agree that may be the third person, a married guy, is a turn of for her. Some1 wrote that I should have given her choice in this regards. I wish I could but here in this world we dont have much choices in this regards. Finding such couples is almost impossible here. I came accross many who claimed to be in same lifestyle but most of them turned out the be fake ones. 4. I let her read this posts, but at that time there were not as many replies as now. She agreed to that post in which it was written that she was initially stressed and confused. And she said that "If I let her decide she will stop doing it". I am sure many people will again take me wrong and will say that I should stop immediately and she is not into this life style at all, but my point of view, may be wrong, is that she needs some time to accept this idea. There is a difference between our first swinging session than the last one. To develop the taste of black coffee, you need to have it for sometime but once you start liking it u always prefer that. I once again say that eventually my point of view might be proved wrong but to me it is a bit early to say that. Like many other sex activities between us (me and she) she took some time to actually enjoy and taking pleasure out of it. This new lifestyle is the same but much bigger thing to swallow for her. She is not enjoying it is becuase mental bariers she has. Which once crossed she will start liking it. In the end, to all who wrote that I must stop it or I will loose her, I will indeed stop if I think that I have tried enough and this lifestyle is not for her. Simply becuase if she is not enjoying i wont as well. At this point of time, i have a hope that she will. It all will end automatically if that hope is no more there. I may be sounding like a stuborn child, but I am quite sure that she will be on the right track soon and if not that the end of the road. You may ask that whats the point of my original post if i was so sure about the whole thing, I actually wanted to know that if there is anyone else who experienced the same, specially any lady out there who has gone thru all this and then later on start taking pleasure instead of initial deniel. if yes, it would be really great to know what was her mind and what helped her crossing the initial barier and stressing state.

HEY GUYS SHE IS NOT BEING FORCED TO DO THIS. I discuss, discuss and discuss with her before almost every session. Most of replies here are like she is being FORCED to do this, which is not the case. I know I cannot make her enjoy something which she does not, but if read "twobears" post, u will know how SOME womens take this initially, when they think sex with others is dirty. Here, at our part of world, girls take some time to actually enjoy with their husbands becuase sex is something NEW in their lives. So should we men stop having sex with them coz they dont enjoy or take sometime to realize that its something to take pleasure. Can anyone give me an advise how make her realize that she can enjoy if she opens her mind's lock to think that its dirty.

Yes, thats what I think as well. I might be wrong but to me its very early to conclude. And yes, in future,whether i stop or continue, i will let her read not only this post but the board as well. Infact I have already told her that I have found this board very interesting and may tonight we might have our weekend exploring this forum together. Thanks for the reply.

First of all, thanks a lot for the replies. I was really eager to read others opinion on the issue, i logged in using my mobile device to read the replies last night. There were 3 replies by then only. I tried to reply from my mobile device as well but typing on that was not much easy so i quite. First of all I must clear that I dont intend to continue if she never enjoys it, but I dont agree that i must fear of losing her this way. Infact, its other way around, she is doing it becuase she does not want to lose me. I have never pressurised her that i will leave if she does not participate. I must admit that i may be a bit pushy sometime but its not a hard way. I feel lucky to have such a lovely wife who can do anything for me even if she does not like it. We have kind of relationship where we can talk on any topic openly. I know all her fanticies and so does she for mine. She has a fantacy of watching a girl being gang banged, she likes to watch MFM movies, and certain scenes does arouse her as well. During our sex sessions (me with her), she manytimes fanticised about a girl enjoying more then one cock and she cums great flashing such scenes in her mind. What I think is due to her very conservative up bringings (like all other eastern muslim girls) it will take her some time to mentally accept it. She has been fair in telling that she does not enjoy it which i never doubt, but this shows that we do not have communication gaps, but what i think that gradually she will swallow it mentally and will start enjoying it, like many other things e.g. at initial period of our marriage, she used to think licking and sucking and dirty act and never enjoyed that but now she loves that. Before she never sucked more then few seconds but now I sometimes have to stop her . And i see a difference already from our first session to the last session we had. I might be proved wrong, and it may be true that she never enjoy it but i think to experience it a little more before closing the chapter forever. What you people say.

Hello everyone, I am not sure we will be counted as new swingers or not but after some sessions I still have many basic questions so I count ourselves as NEW. Scenario: I love to see her enjoying, whether it is her solo or with another male. Watching her enjoying sex is a great turn on for me, as so come the idea of swinging. She got agreed for this but made it clear that she is it only for my pleasure. We have done MFM 4/5 times now, mostly oral. After each session, she always mentioned that other then very very short periods of time she did not enjoy it at all. But she always agreed to do it for my pleasure, but as i said my actual pleasure and fantasy is to see her enjoying. I continued doing it in a hope that sooner she will overcome her tension and will get involved and eventually will enjoy it. She never allowed other male for full intercourse, but in our last session we achieved that as well with a help of a condom. She was very much afraid that other male will cum in her, and condom gave her confidence i guess to let him in even for longer period as well. (we were not expecting that she will let it in, so that was a great surprise for us). But her post-sex session comments are still the same, that either she does not enjoy at all of just very short period of times and only when I was involved as well. I used to speak to her a lot about the topic making her mentaly relax are prepared, which I would say working becuase in our last session she was not as tense as was in the first one. After, our last session, when she let him in, we were expecting that she will deny any further sessions only becuase insertion was never discussed before and we thought that she at that time let it happen just for me but will not repeat it. But, aftermath is she is quite normal and ready to do the next session as well, which means mentally she is okay with full insertion as well, but with a comment that she does not enjoy and doing it for my pleasure only. My Questions: 1. If we continue doing with her, do you think she will adopt it and will start enjoying it as well. 2. Should I continue doing it, even if she does not enjoy it in future as well? 3. Is there anyway to make her enjoy the sessions. We dont just start sex session by the way, we sit talk play (all this she enjoys she mentioned) and then gradually move towards sex sessions and according to her she enjoys very much everything prior to sex session which involves soft sex games as well.