cutegeeks

First off, I want to applaude you guys for what seems to be excellent communicating habits... it's amazing how many people lack that... but here's where I see the problem, as BH was getting at... Now I will admit that I've never been to a swing club, but in my experience it is a LOT harder for a guy on his own to get in on the action than it is for a woman. If you browse any of the "swingers personal ads" websites, you are familiar with the "NO SINGLE GUYS" mantra. So Skully takes the easy road to enjoyment and leaves you to "fend for yourself" and face the challenge of finding some other woman or couple that is interested in playing with you alone? That doesn't seem very supportive or considerate of what you want. I mean, seriously, have you ever eaten JUST the icing from a cake? You know what I mean... big gobs of sugary sweetness that they use to dress up wedding cakes and such. It's yummy, sure... but not by itself. Eat a bunch of that stuff WITHOUT the cake and you'll wanna hurl. When skully says that anyone else is icing on the cake, then she's getting cake with icing and you're getting... just the icing. While I would recommend trying to equalize the balance in this situation a bit, I have to disagree with BetterHalf's suggestion: It doesn't really work for you because (1) you want to continue being friends with this couple, and (2) you have been comfortable with this couple and with the women playing together before. Saying that might be more of a "test" than an expression of you feelings (a somewhat passive and dishonest way to communicate). I suspect that it is not a matter of you being "uncomfortable" but rather "unsatisfied." And as other people have said, if you are not BOTH satisfied, then it is usually best if BOTH of you step out of the situation. HERE'S a possible solution. If you are at a club where Scully's special lady is present, Scully should make sure that you are "taken care of" BEFORE she runs off to her one-and-only. By taken care of, I mean make sure that you have found a playmate(s) for the evening. That way, you aren't left hangin, so to speak. Good luck and happy swinging Cutegeeks

As a couple, we are both friendly, but with the start of grad school, I haven't been anywhere near MJ in quite a while. When it comes to bedroom activities, it affects us pretty differently though. I can get pretty horny when I'm high, and as some others have said, it REALLY enhances the wonderful sensations of sex (making them that much more wonderful). But it takes me a lot longer to have an orgasm. For her, though, she usually gets over-sensative, and does't want anyone touching her too much or caressing. A lot of touching just ends up making her really tense (which is usually the opposite of what you are trying to achieve when you smoke) I wouldn't want to be high every time (or even most times) that I had sex, it just makes for a very different experience. I like variety. I think that's why a lot of people get into swinging, because they want new experiences and enjoy the variety. What concerns me is that it seems some people equate "drug use" (or doing anything that is illegal) with "low moral fiber" :-) I've met some pretty immoral people who swore that pot was aweful and would never touch it. And I've met some kind and successful (and otherwise law-abiding) folks who smoked pot while still leading responsible lives. It is not necesarily immoral to break a law that you feel is unjust. The US (to its credit) has a rich history of that sort of thing. VegasLee's post made me very happy (thank you for speaking up) It is one thing to ask someone not to take part in illegal activities in your presence or in your home. (That just falls under the broad mutual-respect category) but it seems a mistake to make a judgement on someone's character simply because they admit that they smoke pot occasionally. And ya know, if someone is over the edge with their drug use, you'll probably know right away whether or not they tell you right out. They are usually pre-occupied, disengaged and/or somewhat boring. I know a few drunks that fit the mold. It really chaps my hide when someone claims they are drug free and then reaches for a beer... or a LATTE`. The point is that you should think critically about what exactly you are objecting to, and appreciate people who communicate openly about their lives. They are most likely to welcome open and honest communication from you as well, and you can reach some common ground...and move on to the important stuff... like who can get naked the fastest. (if I knew how to make a soapbox icon, I would... then I would step off it and light it on fire... cause fires are romantic and great for setting the mood) CutegeekBoy

This is not as much of a hypothetical as we might think. There was a case in Chicago where 2 people had an affair that (according to the man) included only 3 instances of oral sex. No intercourse. In case anyone wants to look into it further, the names were Mr. Phillips and Ms. Irons. Anyway, he says she took his sperm after a blowjob and got herself pregnant. Then, 2 years later, sued for child support. He claimed theft and fraud (which, as you guys have said, wouldn't fly) The part about this that I found funniest was the following part of the decision... "when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift - an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee . . . . There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request." Well DAMN! next time, I'm gonna get a reciept. On the other hand, the court DID say that he could make a claim of emotional distress, since he was (supposedly) pretty traumatized by her decietfull actions. (first post, by the way) CuteGeekBoy