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Mariposa_y_Oso

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About Mariposa_y_Oso

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  • Relationship Status
    Married Couple
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    El Paso, TX
  1. Me? Lie? NEVER! You should know by now that my biggest fault is sharing too much info. Besides, I've already admitted that I'm an ogre and a mutant. Imagine Shrek with a goatee. That's pretty much me - except I have really cute ears. :p ~Mike PS The stories are all TRUE! I think.... unless they are bad... in which case..... THEY LIE LIKE DOGS ON THE PORCH!
  2. THTS? I wasn't aware that I was slamming anyone. I've gone back and re-read his reply to me and it didn't appear that HE thought I was slamming him, either. Perhaps you should re-read his original post, it ended with this: Has anyone dealt with this, is it just something in our head or is there a common hesitancy in the "black thing" or in this particular area? He was asking for our opinions. I don't look much like a bible prophet, so I don't generally try to blow smoke up people's asses and tell them that what I say is written in stone. I was merely offering an opinion, which was solicited by Marco... Cheers! ~Mike (dispenser of the Chill Pills)
  3. Hey Ri... What about powerfully built men with shaved heads and goatees? We need full enjoying, too! Cheers! ~Mike
  4. Oh, I'd agree with that - not everyone is compatible. It's just that in your original post, you said that he'd have to to, "really impress her in every way". The point I was trying to make (and did a poor job of) was that if you look hard enough, you can find something wrong with just about everyone: "His teeth are too white" "Her breasts are too large" "His clothes are too expensive" "She has an extra nostril" See what I mean? I'm not saying you don't have the right to be choosy. Hell, you have every right to exclude every other person on the planet based on whatever criterea you want if you so choose. I was just cautioning you on holding someone up to a higher standard simply because of race. It came across as sounding like, "well, he's already black, so only if everything else is absolutely perfect about him, he may barely squeak by our standards". I realize this isn't what you said, and in all likelyhood, not what you meant, but it is how it came across. For all you know, he could be a fantastic guy. I'm just advising you to give him the same shot as you would a hispanic/white/Martian/etc. guy. Folks is folks. There are good, bad, and ugly all around us in every possible package imaginable. Cheers! ~Mike (An equal opportunity fornicator)
  5. Whoa...another potential can of worms opened. First, to answer your question: Mari and I really make no distinction based on skin color. Hell...in a lot of people's minds, I'm sure they'd view US as a bi-racial couple, (which makes us laugh our asses off to think of) just because she's hispanic and I'm a Deggo/Mick hybrid. To paraphrase the subject line of another thread on the boards, "That's funny - we don't feel bi-racial! Probably a lot of it has to do with where we grew up - El Paso is a truely multicultural city. I do have a few questions about these two quotes, however... //We talked about it and I told her that if he really impressed her in everyway....clothing, height, weight, personalily, voice tone (she really likes deep tones) then we would go for it\\ //The main thing that we debated was kissing him on the mouth. I told her I would prefer her not doing that, and she said that that was a point she had already decided not to do.\\ Just out of curiosity, do these same standards apply to everyone, no matter what race/skin color they may have? Will you not play with anyone that is less that "ideal"? Is kissing completely off-limits, no matter the situation? Finally, these two statements sort of send up red flags for me... //She asked me if I would think less of her and I told her no.\\ //She has some reservations about it herself, but at the end I asked her "Would you feel comfortable enough to enjoy it" and she said that as long as I was involved she would go through with it.\\ I'll be the first to admit that this forum and media lends to misunderstandings due to the fact that you don't get the benefit of tone of voice/facial expressions/etc. but based solely on how those two statements come across to me, I think there may be some larger issues here that you two may need to discuss... ~Mike
  6. We've been together almost 14 years and married for 12 1/2... Mari and I met when she was a senior in HS and I was a year out of school. I dropped by the school to see some friends (I had been away at college) and I interrupted her drama club rehearsal. Fortunately, it seems as though she's forgiven me. PS curious24, I'm sorry this doesn't help your situation much. I wouldn't recommend cruising high schools...
  7. First of all, let me reply to the original poster... We are in a situation similar to you two. Mari is a total hottie as well as being one of the sweetest and sexiest women you ever want to meet. I, on the other hand, am the classic "old jock gone to seed". Do what I do...shamelessly use her to reel them in and then pull the old bait and switch once they are too horny and revvying to go to stop themselves!! LMMFAO JK of course.... There have been several times when couples have shown interest in her and then suddenly that interest waned once she made it clear to them that we were most certainly a package deal. Luckily, no one has ever been outright rude about it. Fortunately for me, my ego is protected by MariShield. While it may sting a little at first, I console myself with the fact that this woman that was so desireable to them TURNED THEM DOWN in favor of ME! What better ego boost could there possibly be? We can certainly relate to "sitting in the corner, all by ourself" situation, especially when we first got into the lifestyle. I think that a part of our problem was that we went to the club with pre-conceived notions of what we wanted to happen instead of going with the flow. Now, if we don't get any "bites", we go off by ourselves and put on a show...before long, we usually have a crowd around us and people seem somehow eager to introduce themselves afterwards. I'm a big boy. I've always been a big boy. I will no doubt need an extra pall bearer or two when I kick off because I will die a big boy. I've got a huge chest, wide shoulders, big arms, a muscular ass, thick legs and Fred Flinstone feet. Oh yes, I also have this belly because while I maintained the diet I had when I was 18 and working out everyday, somehow the working out part got dropped somewhere along the way. Yes, I've recently started working out again and the weight is slowly coming off, but that was a personal/health issue more than it was a "I sure hope that shallow hottie the blew us off at the club will notice me now" issue. I have to agree with Julie on what she said about attitude. I am perfectly fine with who I am and how I look right now. All I have to do is look at my wife and see how she reacts to me to know that I can't be THAT repulsive. lmao If I can get her engine revving and her juices flowing, then I must have something going for me. Even when I was in my "prime", I was always more of a personality person. I'm no chiseled Roman god. I know this. I also know that I am pretty good at making people laugh and feel at ease and enjoy themselves. I also know I'm not too shabby between the sheets. Mr. Avgcpl4u, you have a pretty wife...you got her and have kept her. There's a reason for that. Be confident in yourself, dude! You're obviously doing something right. I do have one question for you, and this leads to something else I'd like to bring up... Are you both not being approached at all, or are the couples that do approach you both not up to YOUR standards? There were times when we first started going to clubs when I'd been sobbing into my suds(figuratively) about how everyone was so shallow and were looking for only the "Pretty People" and I stopped and realized that I was so wrapped up in wanting to play with the Pretty People myself that I didn't even give a thought to striking up a conversation with any of the "Just Plain Folks". Hypocricy is an ugly beast, ESPECIALLY when you see it in the mirror. Not accusing you of this, Avgcpl4u, because you didn't mention it in your post. Just sharing a situation that I found myself in that may or may not be relevant. This is my take on the whole "gene pool pollution" bullshit... Mari and I take great pains to ensure that there is absolulely NO gene pool intermingling AT ALL with ANYONE, no matter how good they may look! Hell, I'm going to let a doctor cut into my precious, ever-lovin sack and cut and tie stuff up to ensure that sort of thing can't happen on my end, even if a condom breaks. Mari is altering her body chemistry with medication in the form of the birth control pill to ensure this doesn't happen on her end. Yes, I will concede that there may be deep-seated evolutionary Darwinistic forces at work here. I like hourglass-shaped redheads with big butts, rounded breasts, full lips, and dazzling smiles. So much so that I married one. Tell me...what did Chuck have to say about that one? lmao To each his own, no one can explain attraction. It's all good, no one can blame you for being attracted to a certain physical type or attributes. Just don't try to blow quasi-scientific smoke up our asses. If you don't like women with soft curves, then avoid them. Leaves more for me. Equating someone that carries a few extra pounds to someone with poor hygiene, VD, or an amputated stump is akin to saying that brussel sprouts, liver, and split pea soup are all the same type of food. Just because those are the three foods that I simply cannot force myself to eat does not make them the same thing or even put them in the same classification, with the exception of "foods that Mike doesn't like." I have a bit of a bone to pick with TeamSoBe's maxim of "The rules in swinging are exactly the same as the rules in dating," as well as the way they are coming across as rather elitist. I think that on a very basic level, using the same rules for swinging as you did dating can be very beneficial. An example would be in another thread here on the boards about single men: meeting in a public place, etc. However, I for one was a typical red-blooded American male and when *I* was dating, I'd nail anything that wasn't already nailed down and encouraged me to do so. What's that? You want to meet me in a dark alley and have annonymous sex with me? We have to be careful because your husband is insanely jealous and has an extensive gun collection?Well....okay! Now, swinging as a couple, I tend to be a bit more wary about the situations that I put my wife (and myself) into. On the other extreme end of the spectrum, how is social standing any gauge of a person's real attitude/intelligence/ambition? Suppose you ran into some bimbo that slept her way to a Junior Vice President position in some company. Would she be more alluring than someone that is presently working a "wage slave" job, putting money aside to start their own business? This person could wind up being the next Bill Gates or Sam Walton, but they aren't good enough for you because they punch a time clock right now. Maybe the bimbo with the good salary and the nice car helps compensate for some sort of insecurity about your own status. Maybe the only way to reassure yourself that you are good enough is to associate only with those that you deem successful. I don't even pretend to know, I merely suggest. Even moreso than discriminating based upon physical appearance, I think that social elitism is just silly. What if you had bumped into Jennifer Lopez 10 years ago when she was still some girl from the hood and not the international star that she is now? I suppose that your noses would be turned up at her too, because she just wasn't up to your high standards. Ah well, you are most certainly entitled to your own opinions every bit as much as I... //I'm attracted to powerful, confident women. A female attorney is a hell of a lot more attractive to me than a stripper. That's shallow? Or is "snob" a different sort of evil than "shallow"?\\ A stripper can't be a powerful, confident woman? ALL female attorneys are powerful, confident women? I have a friend that used to dance while she was in college. It was a good way to earn a boatload of cash, the hours were great, and she enjoyed it. She's now a very successful business woman. By your stated criterea, you'd play with her now, but wouldn't have played with her 5 years ago. Funny...she's still the exact same woman... The problem with painting with such a wide brush is that while it generally gets the job done quicker and easier, it tends to slop paint all over the fine details and can fuck up the entire job... Having said all of this, I'd like to offer this olive branch. We ALL discriminate based on something or another. It doesn't neccessarily make it right or wrong, it just is. Mari doesn't really care to get together with couples that smoke. We have, on occasion - with mixed results. I'm sure there are some of you that would find this offensive in the extreme. Me personally...I don't particularly find 118 year old, bald midgets with goiters particularly attractive. I'm sure that the members of the ASFCAMSTD (American Society of Follically Challanged Aged Midget Swingers with Thyroid Disorders) would have issues with me on this subject. I realize that this is a forum for all of us to express our beliefs and opinions and that this medium isn't particularly conducive to expressing nuances, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. I also realize that (with the expection of me, obviously! lol) people try to get their points across with as few words as possible and that sometimes this tends to come across as gruff or rude, when in reality, these same people may be the nicest people you ever meet. I think that the most important thing to take away from all this is that whatever your selection criterea is, there is no call or excuse for being rude or for tearing someone else down merely because of a lack of attraction. I'm sure that TeamSoBe circulates in a crowd that consists mostly of upwardly mobile people such as themselves and that if someone approached them that they didn't care for, they would be kind and merely explain that they didn't think they were compatible. I prefer to believe the best in everyone until it is proven otherwise. I hardly think they'd scream, "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU LOSER!" at the top of their lungs. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if I don't agree with their (or anyone else for that matter) logic, doesn't mean that I don't respect their opinion. Above all else, I think that word - respect - is the most important one when it comes to being in the lifestyle... That's my $.43 worth...(I have more change in my pocket if you want it, though! ) Cheers! ~Mike
  8. Ah yes...the single male. I read in another thread that finding an honest, open, "safe" single male is about as hard as finding the elusive (and so far as I know, mythological ) single female. Personally, I really enjoy seeing Mari with other guys and when we swing with couples, I'm usually too involved to really watch as I'd want to. I enjoy MFM threesomes, I like sharing her and pleasuring her with another guy. She's told me that she really feels like a movie star with all the attention, and hell, she deserves it. That having been said, we've had two experiences with single males and both of them have pretty much soured us on even attempting it again. The first one was with a guy that initiated us into the lifestyle. He worked at a local swinger's club and was really great at answering all our questions and helping us feel at ease. You'd think that working in a club, he'd have more of a clue as to how the lifestyle works, but alas, it wasn't so. Our first experience with him was okay, even if Mari wasn't really attracted to him. He was respectful of our limits and boundries (which at that point was limited to oral). We had a good time the first time we met with him, and he said that the next time we all hooked up, he'd bring along his female friend (who we met at the club) and that we'd all play. According to him, this woman couldn't stop talking about us and she was really interested in being Mari's first bi experience. We arranged to meet at a restaurant. When he showed up, he was alone, explaining that his friend said she'd meet us all there. He "phoned" her several times and assured us that she'd be there soon. Meanwhile, he was being inappropriately affectionate to Mari in the restaurant and getting all ass-hurt that she wasn't responding to him. After an hour and a half/two hours, he tries calling again and says that she told him that she wouldn't be able to make it. He then asked if we just all wanted to go somewhere and play, just the three of us. I paid our check and we left. Later on, we had to completely block him from our email and IM and I had to get a bit "forceful" with him (verbally) because he just kept pushing for another meeting and admitted that he had "feelings" for Mari. We were honest and up front from the beginning that we are not into poly relationships and are not looking for that type of thing, but evidently, he thought that he was special. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are that it has webbed feet... Our other experience was actually a near-experience, as we never met up with the guy. We were cruising through the profiles of people in one of the online groups we are members of, and this one guy really caught Mari's eye. He was a good looking guy, and one thing that really stood out about him was that in all his pics in the club photo album, he was dressed. He seemed like a nice, decent guy. So we IM'ed with him for a bit and once again, he came across as a great guy with one exception - he was married. One of the first rules that we agreed on when we first got into the lifestyle was that we would NOT be a party to any extra-marital affairs, no matter how wonderful/great looking/whatever the person was (either male or female). We have no desire to break up a marriage or relationship. We don't need that sort of bad karma. So when we he told us about this, we pretty much wrote him off, but we were polite enough to tell him our reasons and we kept in contact with him via email and occasionally IM. A couple of months went by and after playing with a couple of couples, Mari and I found ourselves really wanting a MFM threesome. After casually looking around at all our options, we came back around to this guy and started talking to him again. After much discussion, we decided that we'd play with this guy just once. We told him that this would just be a one time thing and that the only reason why we were even considering it was because Mari was really attracted to him and that we were in the mood for a MFM threesome. We set up a date a couple of weeks later to meet in a local bar to get aquainted and if things felt right, perhaps more. Well, during this time, we had to change the time, date, and place about 3 or 4 times because of "situations" that came up with him. Finally, Mari and I called the whole thing off. Our consciences got the better of us and we just couldn't go through with it, not to mention that both our bullshit alarms were blaring like the self-destruct alarms at the end of a bad sci-fi movie. We consider ourselves lucky that we didn't go through with it after all. Like I said, we don't really need any bad juju. Plus, once you disregard one of your basic rules, it's just that much easier to do it again. We were fortunate in that we learned a valuable lesson without having to pay much of a price at all... At any rate, those are our two stories of personal experiences with single men. Are there single guys out there that are truely great guys with a firm grasp on the whole philosophy of the lifestyle? I'm sure there are. I'd like to think that if, god forbid, I should find myself single, that I would be one of those guys. Then again, Mari has trained me well and in addition to being housebroken, I can fetch a slipper like a mofo! We now just content ourselves on playing with couples and once we get to know them, arranging for threesomes among the four of us, where everyone will take turns sitting out for a bit while the other three play. Pretty much a win-win situation all the way around... Cheers! ~Mike
  9. We got this some time back in our email and thought we'd pass it along as a Christmas gift to everyone here. How many of these can YOU relate to? lol 1. Giggling to yourself at the office when your co-workers tell you how wonderful their weekend was.. If only they knew. 2. Before traveling somewhere on business or to visit relatives you look up couples in the area. 3. You have a lot of friends all over the world. 4. You come home with that "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle. 5. When going to a strip club with your guy friend's, instead of your wife, seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money. 6. Your kids and the baby-sitter ask why Mommy already has her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom every Saturday night. 7. Wondering how to explain to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags, blankets, pillows and don't leave until early Sunday afternoon… 8. You never open the garage door until you're in the car with the doors closed. 9. You both turn your head to watch the hot woman walking down the street! 10.At the gym shower you're the only one with shaved balls. 11. You make plans to meet a "normal" couple at a nice restaurant and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear. 12. You spend more time grooming your privates than most porn stars. 13. You only know couples by their first names and e-mail addresses. 14. Many of your pictures are from different hotel rooms and in quite a few you have a convention wristband on. 15. Your nightstand drawer is full of bar napkins with couple's names and phone numbers. 16. You are sending out online Christmas cards to people with names like: dareustwo wifewetandbi and xoticcouple. 17. All of a sudden.. you have friends in Minnesota, Utah, West Virginia and New Mexico. 18. At work when someone tells a risqué adventure, most are shocked or stunned - you say "Cool !" 19. You are running out of reasons to tell your "normal" friends why you can't go out with them. 20. You go to Jamaica once a year and "Hedo" means something to you. 21. You close an e-mail to your sister with Bi Bi. 22. You closet is filled with 5" high heeled shoes.. and you have more lingerie than most department stores. 23. You are running out of excuses to tell your baby-sitter why you come home at 4am on Saturday nights/Sunday mornings and have a Freshly Fucked look. 24. Every bottle of liquor in your house has a big sticker with your membership number or couple's name on it. 25. You see a really hot girl walking down the street and you say to yourself, I wonder if she'll do my wife ! 26. You're walking down the street and your wife hits you for NOT telling her about the hot girl you were looking at. 27. You're at the bar and someone asks you to take them home, and you say "No problem, but only if my wife can play too". 28. You and your wife see a hot chick and bet who could fuck her first. 29. When your wife says it's ok to bring home that hottie who walks her dog by your place as long as she can fuck her too. 30. You get all excited and rush down to the local community center advertising a swap meet and find out its baseball cards. 31. Your adolescent kids have more hair on their privates than you do!! 32. You refer to your play friends as couples (Rich and Joyce, Frank and Jennifer). Example - "Frank, of Frank and Jennifer, called today". 33. Whenever you go out, you always throw a small overnight bag in the car .... "just in case". 34. You have more rings on your privates than you do on your fingers. 35. All your links on your computer have something to do with finding couples, toys, clothes and places to go on vacation to explore your wild side. 36. When your birthday or Christmas comes up, there are more presents that can't be opened in front of the family, than there are that can be. 37. When birthday surprise parties take on a whole new meaning. 38. You have numerous pictures of various couples naked, before you meet them. 39. Your wife spends more time checking out the waitress at the family restaurant than you. 40. Your straight husband shops for his underwear at Gay Men's Stores where there is an unlimited selection of makes, styles, colors and fabrics. 41. You are grocery shopping, and supposed to be checking your food out, not the couple in front of you or the check-out gal 42. You always carry two condoms in your purse every where you go...just in case. 43. All your normal friend ask why they are never invited to your parties. 44. When your child walks by the computer area and asks what 'The Lifestyle' means 45. You are both well over 55 and don't look a day over 40 and don't seem to be aging a bit. Straight friends look old enough to your parent's friends. They think you are getting younger and want to know your secrets. 46. When your "normal" friends accuse you of being swingers and you try and stumble through some lame reply only to realize they were only joking about you having a hot tub. Another close call. 47. When you are out with the guys and a hot woman walks by and instead of saying "wow, I would love to take that for a ride", you say "wow, that would look great on my wife" That's when the guys turn to you and say "yeh right in your dreams!" and all you can do is smile and tell yourself how lucky you are to be who you are 48. your digital camera batteries are always fully charged and ready to go! 49. You start to wonder whether your wife ever did have pubic hair, or if she is even capable of growing any! 50. You have an entire drawer filled with assorted condoms in various sizes and colors... and YOUR husband has a vasectomy! 51. All of your bras are one size too small (and you like'em that way!) 52. You have more "private" photo albums than family ones. 53. At your "normal parties", no one can use "the Master Bathroom" because you're afraid someone will notice the webcam bolted to the wall in your bedroom on the way! 54. You're constantly afraid that a "straight friend" will pop-in one of your videos that you forgot to hide! 55. You let the answering machine pick-up because don't know whether to answer, "hello", or "Hey Baby!" 56. You make bets with other swinging friends as to how long it will take to 'corrupt' your cute 'straight' girlfriends! 57. You lay odds, while setting at the bar, if they are swingers or they are not swingers. 58. Beating around the bush with your normal friends trying to figure out if they're interested in swapping or not…….without giving away the fact that you're a swinger. 59. When you're in a public place and hear someone say something that sounds similar to your screen name and you start getting paranoid that someone recognizes you off the Internet. 60. When your at a swinger club and don't recognize another couple until you see them with their clothes off. 61. When your swinger friends and your normal friends are at the house at the same time and your normal friends ask the question "So how do ya'll know each other." 62. When your parents / babysitter asks "So why are you going there for the weekend? That seems like a weird place to take a vacation." 63. When you come home from a long party weekend with strange underwear in your luggage and just laugh about it. 64. When the Gynecologist looks at your wife funny for asking for Birth Control and asks "But I thought your husband had a vasectomy" as he shuffles through papers in your file. 65. When your paranoid that you're 12 year old is going to figure out your login password as well as the screen saver password. 66. You get really excited when a new couple joins the site that lives really close to you…."Honey, come here and look at this couple!" 67. Your spouse tells you about a new person at work but prefaces the conversation with "No, we can't screw them." 68. You start having withdrawals after two days without Internet access. 69. You spend more than 5 minutes discussing how you're going to win the upcoming photo contest. 70. Someone asks where your staying when you go to Jamaica and your like "Crap, I forgot the name of the resort….but its supposed to be really nice." 71. Your co-workers ask you to bring back a lot of pictures from your vacation and all you can do is giggle. 72. When you come back from vacation and the only place where you got sunburned was where your tan-lines use to be. 73. You screw up and make plans with one couple for Saturday night and then find out that you're spouse made plans with another couple. Then it dawns on you that this is not a problem, it's an Orgy. 74. Your boss wonders why you're going to Orlando or Las Vegas "in the middle of summer for God's sake!" 75. When you are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face. 76. When you go to a convention and your bags consist of a bag for toys, a bag for leather stuff, a bag for lingerie and a small bag for straight clothes. 77. When you dress at night to party, knowing full well that your clothes won't be on for long once you are at the party 15 minutes. 78. When the 1st thing you do checking into a hotel is to ask for extra towels and a fridge. 79. When your daughter comes to you on Friday afternoon and asks, "Are you going out with people you already know this weekend, or have you made some new friends?" 80. When you come back from a convention and everyone has a male and female name so that you know who you are talking about and can visualize the couple. i.e. what did LINDA & frank have to say about this(Really means Linda) or was FRANK & Linda wearing shoes last night(Really means Frank). If you only say Frank or Linda, our mate can't remember which one was Linda or Frank!! 81. You tell the babysitter that you are going out for dinner and drinks with friends, and when you finally show up at your front door, the paperboy has already delivered the morning paper. 82. Whenever the conversation among your civilian friends turn to "Temptation Island", all you can do is roll your eyes. 83. We came to the realization we were swingers when we realized that cycled from doing things we couldn't tell our parents to now doing things we can't tell our kids. 84. You're in a straight club & you see your wife w/ her hand down someone's pants, and it doesn't bother you........ then you ask her if he's hung or not so she doesn't get the short end. 85. ... The guys ask everyone to pitch in $60 a man for a bachelor party, and you think to yourself, "What a waste! That money could buy a night at a club where you can watch hot naked women all night -AND- get laid by them!!!" 86. One of your business cards reads "Your first name and your spouse's first name and your "special" e-mail address. 87. You give all your "new" friends your custom-ring number ...the one the kids are NEVER allowed to answer. 88. As soon as you have a fantasy and tell your spouse, you find a way to make your fantasy come true. 89. When your buddy asks you if you've seen the movie "Swingers" and you laugh your ass off! And he asks you "What's so funny?" 90. You are reading this instead of sleeping. 91. When you send your kids away for a sleepover to their Aunts, so you two can get ready for your special over nighter Hot Tub party 92. When you ask an exceptionally attractive woman at work for a few minutes to discuss a project and you get an erection when she says:"I'll try to fit you in... I think I can swing it." 93. When you can vividly picture the middle aged female accountant in your office doing the girls in assembly, and you realize that is a common thought in your head. 94. When you go to your computer and the first site you go to is Swinger's Board to check for new e-mails/members. 95. When you're buying each other lap dances. 96. When your wife has a double headed dildo. 97. You find yourselves speaking in code in front of your kids and those not 'in the know'. 98. You're still smiling on Monday from the party on Saturday. 99. When you take a male and female teddy bear, dress them up in kinky fetish leather B&D outfits and take a bunch of pics off the bears to send your friends. 100. When you are in line at the market, and the only things in your basket are the value pack of condoms, and a bottle of mouthwash. 101. When you get dressed for work & realize the only kind of hosiery that you own anymore are thigh highs or garters... 102. When you take a picture with friends you pose to hide the wristbands & ask no one to flash the camera so you can have a "fridge-worthy" pic... 103. You have a larger variety of condoms & lube than most sex stores & drug stores combined... 104. After 25 years, people still ask if you're newlyweds 105. You know you're a swinger when your wife has slept with more men since you were married than before you were married. 106. On the same note, you know that you are a swinger when you waited to sleep around untill after you were married. 107. You refer to your friends by their online names..."Should we go out with HOTBIGRL4U, or SEXY242FUN this weekend?" 108. You know you're a swinger when the wife has slept with more women since...well...ever! 109. You know you're a swinger when nobody sleeps when you sleep with your friends 110. You know you're a swinger when you plan outings with friends around you're wife's monthly cycle; and when you know when your friends' cycle are. 111. You know you're a swinger when you spent twice as long on your profile than you did on your resume... 112. You know you're a swinger when you can't remember your special friend's birthday or last name but you know when her period is... 113. You know you're a swinger when the only time your vanilla friends see you, it just happens to be that time of the month... 114. You know you're a swinger when you realize that you've scored on MORE dates since you've been married than you did when you were single! 115. You know you're a swinger when you have to get dressed twice to go out- once to drop off the kid at the sitter, and once in the car on the way to the club! 116. You know you're a swinger when your vanilla friends think you're boring because your weekend stories have NO details... 117. You know you're a swinger when your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, you ask "with who?" and it's not a joke! I know for a fact that all the ones that pertain to you rolling your eyes at your friends' "wild stories" hit home with me. Some of the single guys at work like to boast about their conquests, sort of "rubbing it in" to all the married guys and I just sit there and think, "If they only knew..." lol Anybody have any more to add to the list? Cheers! ~Mike
  10. Well, when I saw this thread, I thought I'd just read it and move on. After all, attraction is one of those things that can't be reasoned with. After reading some of the posts, however, I decided to weigh in with my two cents worth... Two examples of how HWP is a steaming, fly-covered heap of horseshit: Mari is 4'11". While I won't give mention her exact weight (partly because I'm not sure I know it and partly because I am not suicidal! lol), if you look up her height on one of those weight charts, she "SHOULD weigh between 93-100 pounds. Needless to say, she weighs a bit more than that. However, no one that I've met has ever said that they consider her fat. As a matter of fact, she's always getting comments from her friends that they are envious of her figure and the fact that she's so "thin". I'm attaching a pic of her at the end of the post. {EDIT: Apparently, either we aren't allowed to add pics to our posts or I did something wrong...sorry} Mari has a gorgeous figure...nice curvy hips, a small waist, and a very nice rack To top it all off, she's got a smile that can knock you on your ass and a personality second to none. To those of you who are defending the whole HWP load of crap, I'd be willing to wager that if this woman, who according to the charts is at least 20 pounds overweight, came up to you in a club and started flirting with you, the last thing you'd be thinking about would be how to "ditch the fat chick." Hell yeah, I'd wager paychecks on that... As for my story...I went to college on a wrestling scholarship. All throughout my career, I'd wrestled Heavyweight. Even at the high school level, I was a rather light heavy...my wrestling weight was usually around 220-230. However, at this level, my speed and strength more than overcompensated for this lack of weight. In college, however, I was being tossed around like a ragdoll by corn-fed farmboys that had to cut weight to make the 275 lbs. weight limit and they were not only big, but fast and strong as well. In order to try to save face, my scholarship, and my ass, I decided to try to drop down to the next lower weight class, 190 lbs. According to the weight charts, the ideal weight for someone my height (5'10") is between 155-185 lbs. Should have been easy then, right? Not quite. I got down to 210 lbs and the team doctor threatened to refuse to clear me to wrestle if I lost any more weight because my body fat was right around 7%. This effectively ended my wrestling career. I was a "tweener"...too small to wrestle with the big boys and too big to wrestle with the smaller ones. At any rate, my point is that you can't look at some numbers and determine "he's fat" or "she's a twig". Genetics, muscle content, body fat percentage...all these things can make that H/W chart as worthless as a Playboy in a blind reading room. Admittedly, I'm no longer the peak athlete I was 15 years ago, but even now when I tell people my weight, they don't believe me. Once, I had to actually get on a scale to prove I wasn't lying. I like to tell people I'm dense. That usually seems to satisfy them, although I suspect they agree for reasons other than my weight. I have to agree with the sentiments posted by others here. Mari and I are VERY big into personalities. Yes, physical attractiveness is important, but as K pointed out, a great smile, enthusiasm, and a fantastic personality tend to overcome most "imperfections" that people may have. We are in the Lifestyle for sex. Period. We aren't looking for poly relationships and aren't even looking for new, lasting friendships (though we are open to the opportunity when it presents itself), yet we are open-minded enough to recognize that great things come in all different sized packages... Cheers! ~Mike
  11. Mari and I were talking to some friends of ours and they mentioned the fact that there is a significant number of couples they've played with that viewed kissing as a "no-no". Now, we're still relative newbies to the Lifestyle, but so far, everyone we've played with has enjoyed the kissing and making out just as much as we do. As a matter of fact, we're not sure if we could play with another couple if kissing weren't allowed...it would just seem weird. lol So as to get a wider sampling, I set up the poll to find out about your experiences with others, rather than your own personal preferences... Enjoy and feel free to elaborate further, we'd love to hear everyone's opinion on this topic. Cheers! ~Mike
  12. No offense, RegularGuy, but your reply is a bit arrogant, if not downright misogynistic... //Here is the problem with the overall premise of this; It ASSUMEs that a guy's come is some type of offensive fluid where women need to be WARNED about it.\\ I think the smart play here is to assume that semen is potentially dangerous, especially in a group setting as josiefun mentioned, where there is a good possibility of contact with complete strangers. That aside, everyone is entitled to their own preferences and opinions. There is one couple that we play with on a fairly regular basis where the wife just doesn't like cum - even her husband's. I don't take this personally, I respect this and try to be considerate towards her wishes. My wife, on the other hand, enjoys cum and if we know a couple really well, has no problem with swallowing. Everyone is different. I have a question to pose to you, if I may... Let's say you are playing with another couple. She is on her back, he is having sex with her, and you are playing with her breasts. As he's about to cum, he decides to pull out and cum on her belly. While he's pulling out, you notice the movement and turn your head in that direction and receive a couple of shots to the face. Would that bother you? It shouldn't because it's not an offensive fluid, right? I'll admit that I pose this question blindly and it may be moot. Perhaps you're bi and would rather take him in your mouth as he cums and swallow his load yourself. Not my thing, but to each his own. If I were in a similar situation, I assure you that I'd be heading to the restroom for a little old-fashioned soap-and-water action myself. To address the original post...personally, I tend to be rather vocal when I'm cumming, so there is plenty of warning/opportunity for the woman to tell me where she wants it. Mari tells me she can tell when a man is about to cum when she's giving oral, so even if he doesn't say anything, she's able to point the gun where she wants it to go... Cheers! ~Mike
  13. Well, I'm quite sure that my small, but rapidly growing throng of fans are waiting breathlessly to get my take on this subject, so here goes.... I was circumcised at birth. So far as I know, every male in my family on my dad's side was cut at birth, and my brother and I were no different. I wasn't consulted, even though I'm sure I was quite the opinionated and wise newborn. At times, I've wondered what it would be like if I hadn't been cut (as far as sensitivity goes), but it's sort of like that old 7Up commercial: "Never had it, never will! Ah Ha Ha Ha". Since I never really had one, I don't miss it. I would like to reassure everyone (as I'm sure you are all QUITE concerned about this!) that "Big Sam" functions quite well, I am quite satisfied with my sensation level, and well...to be honest...I just have one damn attractive penis! When my son was born, however, I was leaning strongly towards not circumcising him, for many of the reasons that people have mentioned in previous posts. He was not circumcised at the hospital when he was born, but a couple of weeks later in the doctor's office after we'd weighed all the pros and cons. These are the things that we considered that helped us to decide in favor of subjecting young Numbnuts (a term of affection, I assure you) to the "Unkindest Cut"... ** Someone brought up the point that when he got older, Orion would question why his penis looked different than mine. ** One of my brothers in law wasn't circumcised and he had horror stories of puberty and some of the pain he went through until he actually TORE his foreskin a little in order to be able to pull it completely back. ** Mari said she, as a woman, preferred the looks of a circumcised penis. ** What's good for me is good enough for him! ** Tradition All those, taken individually, are pretty weak arguments advocating circumcision, we realize that. However, ALL of them together along with this final fact, were convincing enough in our opinion... ** His pediatrician examined him, and in his opinion, my son's foreskin was a bit tight and he said that there was a good chance that he'd have problems later on in life. We came to the conclusion that having it done when he was 2 weeks old and while he wouldn't remember it was much more in his best interest than having to have it done 10 years down the line when it could be a very traumatizing event in his life. Bottom line...SNIP! Concerning the whole "risk of infection" thing... We were pretty fastidious about keeping his penis clean before he got circumcised, so keeping it clean while it healed was no more a "hassle" than before. Maybe we just got lucky, but there was no major swelling or problems of any kind. Yes, he was cranky for a week or two, but that ended as it began to heal. The risk of infection, IMHO, is really not a good reason to not have the procedure done. Hell, you are at a risk of infection by walking barefoot on your lawn if you should step on something and cut yourself. One final observation... Reading through all the posts, I picked up on something that I think is causing some of the heat in this debate. Something to understand about men is that we are pretty damn protective and defensive about our genitalia. Some of us even go so far as to name them (HEY! STOP LAUGHING OR ELSE BIG SAM AND THE TWINS WILL GET THEIR FEELINGS HURT! ). I think that by listing the pros and cons either way, some guys may take this as a personal attack on "their boys" and may be firing back in kind, defending themselves. In my opinion, ALL penises are ugly (well, except for MINE, of course! ). Thank god that most of you ladies feel differently, or at least are able to get past this fact. I know that Mari is actually happy there is a variety out there. She likes playing with both the Original (uncut) Version 1.0 and the improved, Upgraded (circumcised) Version 2.0 penis, so it's all good! Cheers! ~Mike (with tongue planted firmly in cheek)
  14. How are we supposed to get to know one another better if we do this by secret ballot? We generally don't go "all the way" the first time we play with a couple, but we prefer the full swap with some bisexual activity (Mari is bi, but I am straight). Of course, depending upon the situation, almost any of those could happen. I have a question regarding the soft swap with no body fluids...isn't saliva considered a bodily fluid? Or does that just refer to touching and no kissing? Cheers!
  15. Here's my take on the topic: We are middle class, probably right in the middle of that bracket somewhere. We don't have brand new cars and we live in an apartment, we don't own our own house. We've met people from many different walks of life and income levels since we've gotten into the Lifestyle. Maybe we've just been lucky, but so far it's never really been an issue. Mari and I are comfortable with where we are. Sure, there are things we'd like to have and we are far from reaching all our goals, but we don't walk around green with envy all the time, either. Besides, I think it would be cool playing with a couple that is just obscenely rich! How else am I ever going to get the opportunity to mess around on a huge fancy boat? I say fuck the rich (literally! ) and take advantage of living the good life every now and then! The other topic brought up matters much more to us than income level. I think that "education level" is a bit of a misnomer, however. For us, it's intelligence. I went to college on a wrestling scholarship, but managed to party myself out of school (not that it would have mattered, but that's another story for another time). After Mari and I started dating, I went back to school for a while longer and made the Dean's List, but we decided to get married, and I never got around to going back. She went to a business school a couple of years ago and got a diploma, but neither of us have college degrees. We both consider ourselves to be intelligent people with a good dosage of common sense. Because of the fact that we like to get to know people before we play with them, we find it hard to get excited and involved with people that are intellectually incompatible with us. Neither of us are geeks and snob out because someone can't discuss quantum physics with us(as if WE could! lol), but when you are talking to someone and it's obvious that their idea of metal stimulation is watching paint chips flake off a wall....well, there's a compatability problem there. Even more than that, though, are our four BIGGIES when it comes to playing: Personality, stability, enthusiasm, and hygiene. We like people that enjoy laughing and are in the Lifestyle for the right reasons - to have fun. We aren't into playing mind or emotional games. They have to be mentally and relationshipally (YES! IT'S A NEW WORD DAMMIT! lol) stable. We had some bad experiences there with some people that just should not be in the Lifestyle. There should be enthusiasm there all the way around. It's no fun when it's obvious that they are both hot for her and you're just there because you come as a pair (been there before, too! lol) As for hygiene...I think that one's pretty self-expanatory. It does, however tie into the original topic. We'd much rather play with a couple that are wearing WalMart clothes that smell Downy-fresh, that are clean and neatly groomed and obviously take some pride in themselves and their appearance rather than a couple that are wearing the latest Paris fashions, but her dress has crusty cumstains and they both could use a good hosing down! With that wonderful mental image, I think I'll stop. Cheers! ~Mike
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