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JnCinOH

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15 Good

About JnCinOH

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    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    ohio, usa
  1. We were sitting in our hot tub when she said something like, "we need to spice up our marriage." I wasted no time finding a 20-page swinger manual online, which we read together, and this Swingers Board forum, which is still the best source for swinger information we have found. Once we made up our minds to try it, which took only a week or two, we decided not to just put our toes in the water, but to dive right in. We joined an on premise club and played the first night. That was over two years ago and we have never looked back. We are having a blast!! Our only regret is not having started much earlier, but we are trying to make up for lost time as best as we can.
  2. Alura summed up the essence of what was meant in the comment that our relationship went from satisfactory to fantastic after joining the lifestyle. Full and open communication, including discussing "private" thoughts and fantasies, is the key to a fantastic relationship, and that is what was missing BL (before lifestyle). Devil cannot relate to this, but are there any other couples who can? It seems that every time we play with another couple, afterwards we appreciate what we have in our own relationship even more. Swinging has made us become better lovers, but since 95%+ of our sex life is still between the two of us, swinging is merely a spice. The main course is still our marriage, which went from satisfactory, BL, to fantastic. PS to OhioCouple. Descartes wrote in Latin, not French. What he said was, "Cogito ergo sum." At least I think that's what he said -- which proves I exist!
  3. I thought this forum was for swingers. Devil finally admits he (she? they?) is not only not one of us, but has an open moral agenda against us. If you don't play the game, you have no standing to complain about the rules. Bty, Devil, before entering the lifestyle we also had "a satisfactory personal relationship with my spouse." Now it's fantastic!!!
  4. Even Plato would probably disagree with your definitions. Sex is a shared experience - nothing more, nothing less. Friendship does not always follow shared experiences, but neither is friendship precluded just because a shared experience happens to include sex. Friendship requires shared experiences, such as work, church, sports, travel, popular entertainment, etc., but also requires a second element - emotional attachment. Whether someone is a close friend or a not so close friend depends on the level of emotional attachment to that person. When there is no emotional attachment, shared ecperiences, whether they include sex or not, result in acquaintances, not friends. Feelings change over time, so acquaintenceships can blossom into friendships and vice versa, but whether or not sex is involved is not the determining factor.
  5. We have found that it is more likely for friendships to blossom after sexual encounter(s) than vice versa. In fact, our experience has been, with some rare exceptions, that couples who emphasize "friendship first" are generally those couples who are still ambivalent about the sex question and are just biding time in hopes that the reluctanct partner will "cum around." This sometimes leads to uncomfortable situations. Our policy now is to just avoid these couples and leave the drama to others.
  6. DUH!!?? Three's Company was a long-running hit sitcom ABOUT swinging. (Suzanne Somers played the role of the elusive bi fem.)
  7. Is swinging really worth it? For us it has been more than we ever imagined it would be, and we haven't really gotten up to speed yet. A little more than a year ago our sex life had bottomed out. Not that it was ever that great, but after 30+ years together we were obviously bored with each other and had difficulty even discussing s-e-x. Then she got up the courage to suggest that we needed to add a little spark to our sex life. Nothing more definite than that. After a search of the web for information about swinging, including this invaluable web site, we decided to give it a try. The result was amazing!!! We immediately started communicating about what we liked and disliked. We both became more passionate and sensual. Sex with others has so far been so-so, but sex with each other has EXPLODED! She found out she was multi-orgasmic and I found out that sex is more fun when it lasts more than 30 seconds. She still gets jealous whenever a cute younger girl shows interest in me, but she is beginning to realize that she winds up with the young stud that way. It does wonders for our egos, but playing with others never measures up to the "apres swing" sex with each other. Swinging has made us appreciate each other more. It has definitely been worth it -- and continues to be.
  8. Your on-premise club sounds a bit limiting. If the only choice is group orgy with Chinese fire drill type sex or nothing, what you suggest may make some sense. Most on-premise clubs, however, are not that way. Rooms are usually available for 2, 3, or 4 couples to play, which can be as private as the couples choose. The main advantage of on-premise clubs is the chance for spontaneity. Couples NEVER look as hot at a second or third meeting as they seem in the club atmosphere. The second advantage is providing a neutral location for play, if you can't, or prefer not to entertain at home. What you describe, going steady with another couple, sounds like polyamory, not swinging. Couples need to play safe either way. Besides, I always assiciated going steady with acne.
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