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JandT_Elkhart

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About JandT_Elkhart

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    Northern Indiana

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  1. I also think the results will be skewed because it's a public poll (others can see the answers). I'm not saying it's a stigma or bad, but many people won't admit if they didn't graduate HS or have a GED...
  2. I have come to believe that one is a lot more judgmental on themselves than others are of them. Here's the bottom line... if someone is "interested" in you, then by definition they have either ignored or accepted your "flaws". So, enjoy yourself and forget about what others think!
  3. Actually, I'm not sure that's the case... I personally think he wasn't offended but was looking for a reason/justification to be offended.
  4. I think the issue was not THAT the rules were changed, it's WHEN they were changed. We have 2 rules: (1) Our Rules (2) Our rules are never changed IN THE MOMENT. Let's be honest - "in the moment" we don't think straight- heck if you read half the posts in this area of the forum, you'll see that most problems start with a "heat of the moment" action. So, what's done is done, but that's where I think the "guilt' was coming from.
  5. If you know the guy's full name, it's easy to search public records and find out if he's married.
  6. Great "story" but based on the typical rules of respect and communication that real swingers follow, she broke a ton of rules. Unless you have an understanding that she was actually going to bare-back these guys, and that instead of the "plan", you wouldn't be able to participate... she completely broke your agreement. I know if my wife totally changed those rules on me, I'd be furious.
  7. Ahh, see, then it's perfect for you. Moving on after 10 minutes just means that you want to continue, it may still be a 'no' later on...
  8. We all have spent "too much" time with a couple we weren't interested in, and once you've determined that you aren't interested, it's pretty difficult to "switch gears" and remove yourself from the situation. Heck, one night we planned ahead to meet a couple at our "regular" club - we sat and talked for over an hour before it was just uncomfortable enough for someone to blurt out, "well, this isn't working, is it?". So we instituted a "10 minute rule". We explain this to a couple before we meet.. we say something like, "Ok, we all know that sometimes there isn't a 'click' between 4 people - and we all know how hard it is to bring up the subject that we just aren't 'clicking'. So, we have a 10-minute rule. When you meet someone, you know within 10 minutes whether you 'like' them, right? So, basically, after 10 minutes, we'll say 'OK it's been 10 minutes, should we continue this conversation?'. And, if we decide to continue, that's still not a promise to play, it's just that, at that time, we're all comfortable enough to move forward. It's a great way to set it up ahead of time for a planned conversation." Most couples laugh and say, "wow, that's a great idea". We've offended 1 couple (out of dozens). But overall, it's a fun, and light way to be up-front. I mean, seriously, how often have you not really 'liked' a couple in the first 10 minutes, but then somehow they 'grew on you'? Hasn't happened to us... And, we also find that by the time that 10 minutes comes up, I say, "ok, 10 minutes, shall we continue?"... it brings a laugh and either a sigh of relief ("phew, thanks, we aren't getting along") or a laugh ("yeah of course, matter of fact let's find a room" is a fairly common response we get!).
  9. So, you'd rather give them justification for their horrendous actions? And you are a Mod? I, myself believe that this person shouldn't be here anymore, and that the original post should be removed due to being completely off-topic (it's NOT a "first time experience" at least not in the way that is intended - as a SWINGING first time). He's "not the first", but I'd like to see it be the last. As for name-calling, in that entire post there were only 2 names called, "cheater" (which is obviously true), and "liar" (again, obviously true). I used fair terminology to describe his actions and to label him based on those actions. Please explain to me exactly what is wrong with calling a spade a spade?
  10. I'm sure your wife would enjoy the after-taste too, huh? Oh, no I forgot, you're cheating, not swinging.
  11. I'm sure you are very proud of yourself. However what you did wasn't "swinging", it was cheating. You, sir, are a perfect example of why most single men in this lifestyle are thought of as pigs. I'd tell you that you should be ashamed of yourself, however I'm sure you aren't - which makes it worse. You've cheated on your wife. You've broken your solemn vows and betrayed her trust. Further, you've also made the other couple (unknowingly) a party to your infidelity. Your deception is reprehensible. If you came here to get "applause" then you've come to the wrong place. You are a cheater and a liar, and any real swinger would cast you to the curb as fast as yesterday's garbage.
  12. Sure, we'll be watching... drama is our first name.
  13. Nope, I don't think anyplace that you describe actually exists, probably because everyone else in the entire world isn't perfect like you.
  14. A new chapter in the troll's soap opera, and you guys are all still falling for it. I will keep an eye on this thread if only for the entertainment value!
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