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PlayinParker

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About PlayinParker

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  1. Maybe I misspoke, most it had been was twice in a week for playtime, some weeks was once. Just for clarification. My wife has had medical issues and found that food allergies were affecting her. Resolving those, she has felt better and more able. Previously it would go through cycles where she felt good and we could have sex a couple times a week, other times, we were doing good to go once a month. I dont think that either of us have ever lost interest, just not having an ability. She would also have pain which would create inability. Although I dont recall that has been there much, if at all for the past 4-6 months. I also think that the stress of work was relieved with her job loss and that has assisted her to some extent, although creating stress in other ways. Thanks for the info, and insight. I will come on keepin on and see where things fall. I need to reflect on all of this info and see where my head is, talk with my wife and hopefully get past this.
  2. Julie, Thank you, your point is well taken. I dont think any of us wanted or expected to go this fast, it just happened and we have been caught up in the lust of it all. I dont have a feeling on the surface of any guilt, but it could very well be there. Perhaps putting on the brakes and having more communication would be in order and essential for not creating further issue. Thanks!
  3. She is rather unique, when she gets revved up, she goes into almost a trance like state. Like blinders on and having orgasm after orgasm. Its not always the same. There are occasions when she gives me oral while fucking him, and vice versa, or she will reach out and grab my hand, or give a handjob, depending upon body position. There has been a time, (last one, the most quad participating session) where there was multiple combinations going and that was good. Predominately, Mike and my wife are having sex, and Mel and I are watching. Typically that is fine, but I do want to be included and touched as well. We cleared that up in conversation, so I dont expect there to be issues on that front. After the conversation where we found that we both were being a little apprehensive with each other, needlessly, there has been more touching and attention. Not the same as our spouses are enjoying, but still some pleasure. They have tag teamed him a couple times, occupying his mouth and cock simultaneously. Not in so many words no, when the ED issues cropped up last week, she said that she thought this was what I wanted and if I wasnt getting out of it what I thought, then maybe it was a mistake and we need to stop. Ultimately, I think that like many others have offered up, I am overthinking and need to have more communication, confidence, above all, relax. Thanks for your assistance.
  4. LM, Great info, thank you. I do believe I have fallen into the trap of comparing myself, even though I never wanted to. It is not a competition, but more of an experience. There are multiple ways to give/receive pleasure from a partner, in the same token, each experience/partner will be different. I believe I mis-spoke when I indicated that the main reason was to enhance our sexlife. I see that as an opportunity to learn and improve what we already had. I didnt think it was ever bad. We experienced pleasure and mutual satisfaction together, always have. I would just like to take the techniques, positions, and other pleasurable actions and integrate them to make a good thing better. Make sense? I understand what you are saying, I cant "fix" me, I just need to understand, accept, and use what tools I have to be a part of the group and contribute to the best of my abilities. Additionally, I do agree that perhaps Mel and I are just not sexually compatible. Perhaps if I can get through the mental block, things will be better. If not, I am accepting of this possibility. Definitely appreciate all the insight. It is helpful to navigate these uncharted waters.
  5. LM, thank you. I tend to be in agreement with your logic here. Yes, I think that the main feeling is that she had always come home and satisfied my needs. Last week, was an especially draining session for her, and while we did have intercourse right before we returned home, I felt unfulfilled. So thinking that it would be like normal, thought we would play once we got home. When that didnt happen, I was fine with it. The main thing that I was frustrated with was lack of attention from the other woman. My wife took it as though I was upset with her. Total misunderstanding. I spent most of the weekend talking with both of them rehashing and clarifying everything so we are all good. The other couple are our really good friends of many years. We see them twice a week or more. It seems that since we decided to play, we just gravitate towards it. Taking a break is a great idea, and perhaps we should look into it. They are going away next weekend for five days, so that will help. My wife is so satisfying and my buddy apparently thinks so too. They can go for over an hour uninterrupted. His wife also remarked that he is not typically that long lasting so she finds it very hot. I would love to learn how he does it. It is amazing to watch. So yeah, the feeling out of sync makes total sense, but how do I get re-synced? What techniques are out there (or products) to stimulate and maintain, along with prolong? Some of it is that I think that by compartmentalizing, I havent been able to separate those thoughts and thinking of how to prolong myself when those occasions do arise to end them sooo quickly by cumming fast, it gets in the way of enjoyinbg the feeling and whatever it is, just is. So the whole thought os swinging was to obtain more knowledge and learn different techniques to enhance our sexlife. That is what we want to get out of it. Again, thanks for the insight, it is helping to better understand what is happening to me.
  6. Yes Julie, that's right. Although the entire time we have played, I have been fairly flaccid. Was more into watching and pleasuring her orally. I figured my time would come, and my wife, her husband were putting on such a show, it was very hot. Never seen my wife so insatiable before and that is amazing. These friends have been good, close friends for many years. We made it clear that regardless of what happens, the friendship is by far paramount. So to answer the second half, I have gotten erect, but not rock hard like usual. enough so that my wife thinks that she no longer turns me on and not enough. She is also thinking that if I dont have porn on in the background, I wont be able to perform. These are simply not true, but in a rough patch right now, I dont know how to progress. Yes, I went limp with the other woman, was struggling that night to stay erect, was the first time we had traded off on my wife too. We traded her 4-5 times. I was erect to about 85-90%, just not completely. It hasnt been every time since then, only once or twice. The other 2-3 times I have been fine. Could it be that we have gone from 1-2 times a month, to every other, or sometimes every day with sexual activity? I mean everything is better, more intense, closer, just great, with the caveat this small issue. Especially since this is something that I wanted for a long time, and through lots of conversations, something she agreed to as well. She asks me if it truly is what I want. I believe it is since neither of has has a lot of experience. She was only my fourth partner, and I was her first voluntary. Thanks for the assist!
  7. So, in other words... Relax, chill out and enjoy! Right? The worst part I am feeling is that she feels that she cant get me erect, its definitely not the case. It is NOT her. It is me, and my issue. She is thinking that perhaps the lifestyle is a mistake if this is the effect it has on me. I dont really think it is a mistake, just like you say, an uncertain time and finding my way through it. It is all very exciting, and overwhelming all at once. Thanks and keep em comin!
  8. Hello there, I have some curiosities here and need some advice on how to handle some scenarios by those that have more experience... Our story: we are a happily married couple of more than 15 years. About a month ago, we were talking with friends (Mike & Mel, for reference) and hanging out, the topic turned sexual and before we knew it, we realized that we were all having the same feelings. Now, wife and I have spoken about possibilities of swinging for a long time, and while she has never been opposed to it, there was never really an opportunity to try. She has an aversion to strangers, and felt we needed to be with someone that she was very comfortable with. In the past, furthest encounters we had ever been involved in was a group co-ed naked hot-tubbing session with a little hand job/play. Fast forward to the current situation. After realizing that all were into it, we discussed boundaries and what we liked, etc. Also we decided that we would take it slow, and only go as far as the least comfortable person. It was a very sexually charged environment and before I knew it, wife was on Mikes lap, as he was fingering her and feeling up her chest. Mel also was touching him and wife, so I joined in feeling her up. That was about as far as it went and wife was very hot with me when she got home. We went to a club a few nights later and ended up back here and wife and Mike wound up fucking (many different positions and continued for a while). It was very hot and we ended up in a oral train. I do enjoy watching them, it has always been open swap and together. After they left, wife thought I was upset, but I explained that it was because I needed release. Mel was having her monthly and couldn't fully participate. We would meet up every 2-4 days for "dessert" and playtime. This happened for a couple weeks off and on. Basically, wife is being pleasured by Mike, which is satisfying to watch. He goes for so long, and she just continues so very strongly. Which is new, I haven't known her to react that way ever. Now, I am not jealous of that at all, more amazed and wanting to know how I can learn those techniques and please her for that duration. Now, it took until the last time, about a month from the first, for me to actually penetrate Mel. Before that I had pleased her orally, and after a few times, I felt a little left out, so I talked with her and found out that she really liked watching and was kinda shy/apprehensive, and was why she hadn't touched or given me attention. So the time after was talked it was better. The interesting thing is the the previous 5-6 times, wife was always able to come home and please me, even after multiple orgasms, and a long duration of sessions (60-120 min or so). Now, to zoom in on the past week or so... Last Friday we had a session, and that was the catalyst to begin the conversation with Mel. I was feeling as though there was not an attraction, and I was more or less a fourth wheel. Wife and Mike seem to just go at it for hours. We came home and she was exhausted and couldn't provide a release for me. That caused her to feel really bad and a lot of talking occurred over the weekend. She thought i felt of her as a fuck machine and would just be there to satisfy my needs. That's not the case, and I realized that I needed to talk with Mel and find out what was up. We talked a lot that weekend and get through those feelings. We had a nice session Monday and that was the first time that I had penetration with Mel. While it wasn't long, it was still nice. There was a lot of group play and scenarios that occurred. That was very nice to have multiple positions and touching in many different ways. Here is where the problem comes. I have had an issue since last Friday getting erect and maintaining my erection. I think it is because I am over thinking. Wife thinks its her and something to do with the situation. That is not true. I have SO much desire for her, but somewhere a disconnect is there to not allow the small head to follow what the big head wants. We haven't previously had this issue before, (once or twice, but fleeting) and it has just been over the past few days. It had been in the first couple weeks so much more intense feeling when we had sex. Because I hadn't really been active in the game, or our sessions, I had focused more on pleasing Mel, watching and pleasing wife. As such, I really wasn't sitting there erect. I think that also has to do with my self-conscious thoughts of premature ejaculation and "johnny-cum-quickly" problem. I have always cum quickly, but then get it back after a short time, and can go longer. typically 4-6 times in a long session. Then the other night, wife tied me up and blindfolded me, which was hot, really liked that. She also tried to apply a cock ring, first time and it was weird, but not bad. Lost the erection during that time, but quickly got it back. She feels that she doesn't excite me enough and causing me issues of not getting erect. I don't know what is wrong with me and feel like I am failing her. How do I solve this issue?!?! Please help, I appreciate your efforts.
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