KittKatt

the mrs here scored: Heavenly Perfection You're 89% Poly =) 93% tolerant of the poly lifestyle =) (But... you're 2% just in it for the sex =)) Ooooooohhhh Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh You're poly. You're tolerant of poly lifestyle. (Good for you you like yourself!) You're not just here for the sex. And you won't lie to your mate. I *Like* YOU. Congratualtions on being a pretty good person =) Gabriel_Night Oh - just so you don't go off wondering - the first question? the one about monogamous cultures? the answer is 16% of recorded cultures have been monogamous - 84% have been non monogamous! how about that? =) My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on True Poly You scored higher than 99% on Tolerance You scored higher than 99% on Sex Only You scored higher than 99% on Honesty

hi everybody, first thank you for making this a place we "all" feel welcome I am Carla, hubby is Tony, and yes we are poly. We are very new still as some may say....in the dating stages... But, recently we met a wonderful man, a writer and editor for a newspaper at that, so sweet.....well we told everything upfront before we even met, spoke for 3 days, then finally we meet, we all click. He stayed a few diferant nights with us and was as giddy happy as we was. he to is legally married on paper for the last several years due to issues of the wife not wanting the courts to screw him. so they are more like bro and sis, as he put it. his wife had a boyfriend of her own that he also gets along with. only problem, the boyfriend of his wife moved to vegas. so now she comutes back and forth to vegas sometimes with their daughter sometimes he gets her. What was so amazing to me is that at least with this man, i actually felt that special warmth, connection that i also feel with Tony, blew my mind....and as he stated he was overwhelmed. he suddenly realized that to be close to his sweet child, vegas has to be a choice he will have to make. so he has left our "dream" for now, and we can only be understanding as to why. My heart actually aches for his presence, his voice, and everything just as it does whith my sweet husband. but the memories however short are some of the best i have and shall never forget, playing in bed for 30 minutes with our 5 yr old just tickling her and laughing, so much fun. So yes we got started and only for it to have to end so soon, but if that wondeful feeling of all that much more love and extended family is possible, our search continues.....as i cry. We are also looking for a special lady and may have one now, still in the comunication process, but as the saying goes, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved. My husband and I are soul mates and so in love, we have our ups and downs like every other couple alive, but this is something we both look so forward to having and sharing with our children. much love xoxo TnC

Well, this thread has at least made "us" realize that we aren't as different or alone as we once thought. Thank you all so much for your honesty!! xoxoxoxo TnC

Hi Mrs. LittleBird, Yes we have and yes we do......it all started with swinging, which is fine with the Mr, however I wanted more, we talked and agreed it would pose many benefits. So we are now "floaters" lol, we do both, and have many posts on the subject. For one never knows when and "if" love will even happen, but we are both open to a full open relationship, without fear or jealousy. So our opinion, if it makes you two happy...go for it!! good luck xoxoxo TnC

we needed a differant option to choose........ we will continue to meet new folks, yet keep our old swing friends, and if poly happens it happens

Here's some links to all the poly terms definitions: this one clearly is poly vs. swinging : Polyamory vs Swinging a lot of the standard questions asked are here: Contents Polyamory Polygamy | Apologetics Index this one just has clear definitions: Polygny is the condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time. Polygandry is the condition or practice of having more than one husband at one time. Polygamy is a “marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time .” The term plural marriage is used as a synonym for any of the above. The term polyamory refers to an intimate, romantic relationship that involves more than two people - with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Bigamy is “the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another.” . For us is simply this: we are open to one another to swing, to share and in that we are not worried of being replaced. As in all relationships, we never know if "love" will happen, but we are open to it if it does, not to get a divorce as monogamy would have it, but to love more than one. xoxoxoTnC

Thank you all for your honest comments, we are all different, and that's what makes us the same

Hi Chicup, I just wanted to say on our part that we also feel they would be equal and long lasting, otherwise we wouldn't consider extending our home and family with them. As far as most seem to be this or that or end in a certain way...well, it really seems that's a chance taken with any and all relationships, friendships or otherwise. But it's a chance "we" are willing to take to find that happiness of truly "loving more" and finding "true" friends and lovers xoxoxo C

Hi WesternSwing, Thanks you for your post. Exactly, and what we see is that each "group" are basically wonderful, open minded people, looking to "add" something that the vanilla life doesn't have. So true, just as with meeting anyone, the sexual spark may not even be there, much less the possibility for love. And to be open to it, just feels natural to me. The thought of leaving or no longer seeing someone close that we have developed feelings for, well would kinda deter me at least from even starting a friendship. Yes indeed, we fully agree and wouldn't it be nice though to have a topic in each lifestyle's forums to talk about "our" way of lives? Or better yet, to have everyone just join together in one big happy non-vanilla world Thanks for the link, I posted some answers to his questions, and found the thread to be mostly like any other on the subject, with a few exceptions of people with less restrictions, and not threatened by the possibility of love. We understand it's not for everyone, and we would never judge either side for their views or rules. To each their own Yeah, a quick screw just doesn't do much for me, the husband is an entire different opinion there But then again he is intrigued by the options now available as am I . But it is nice to know that others are mid-way floaters as we, so thank you for being honest. xoxoxo C

Thank you Mike and Jan, it's very enlightening to hear we aren't "alone" in our ways of thinking and feeling. We aren't "looking" for love per-say, but if it happens, it's a huge bonus in our life as a couple. That would be wonderful, especially if they lived next door , but we are also open to singles here, for the reason that so far that is whom I developed these feelings for.....a man who was our first swinging partner, and almost invited to move in with us.....an ex-girlfriend of my husbands. I think that with couples like you said, it would be awesome, but it's so hard to find that kind of connection just for sex, much less more...that getting that 4way spark going is difficult to say the least. It sounds nice to us too, and possibly like mentioned above, may even lead to moving in together and extending our family to include them. And yeah I guess the category is floating in the middle , but we think it would still be nice of the 2 wonderful lifestyles that are so open minded to enjoying life, whatever that is to each, to not actually claim to only be one or the other, Thanks again, and we hope to also ! So...is it "Good things come to those who wait" ? Well we'll be here waiting and waiting and waiting etc.... and if it's meant to be ...cool, if not....oh well ...we had a lot of fun trying xoxoxo C

Hi John, To answer your question , "has anyone ever fallen in love with their swinging partner" Yes, I did....I recently confronted this man about my feelings, he too was my first swinging experience, with my spouse. Unfortunately, the man wasn't and isn't ready for steady sex or love in his life, he is a very complex person. Here's the deal, I still and will always love my husband, what we have is "our" love.......I could never love another the exact same for no one is the exact same person as he. I do believe that we are soulmates. However what I felt for this man was and is "love" , not just a close friendship love, but a souls meeting love, to the point of I was bedridden for a few days after finding out that we had misunderstood his wants from this relationship....... Which as stated runs into polyamory .....meaning "loving more" Your next question ...did it affect our relationship with this person or our spouse? No....I am married to "my" soulmate (at least one of them) , so he fully understands me and what we have discussed.....to the point that he agreed for this outing of my feelings, and the possibility of a more solid relationship to develop. We aren't afraid or feel threatened by one or the other or us both to fall in "love" with someone else....in the monogamous world ...YES this would usually mean Divorce....but for us, like I said......I can never love someone like I do my spouse, nor will I ever love someone like I did this other man or any man from my past for that matter. We are still very close to this other man, distantly for now, because I need the space to finish mourning "my loss", but that's me, and everyone is different. For us...the more the merrier We will most likely continue to "swing", but now we aren't "restricted" to just recreational sex, or friendships only. But open to the possibility of extending our family, our loves, and our lives I hope that helped, and good luck to ya' xoxoxo C

Hello everyone, Katt here, it's been awhile since we were active on here due to health and a break from swinging. My question is this......Could we possibly start some kind of forum topic for swingers who like the polyamorous lifestyle too? Ok, there are as many different kind of swingers as there are poly's.....we are trying to get our feet wet in the poly lifestyle mixed with swinging more or less. One reason we took a break from swinging was I (the Mrs.) did find it to be fun and all but at least the couples we met....well it was sort of like missionary.....you meet, you hang out, have sex, leave and may see or hear from them again in the next few weeks or so. Too cold for me. Plus I get an extra spark in sex when I actually care for the person. And again the couples we met caring is "limited" to friendship only. So now, with our new goals, we don't really feel like we "fit" in here like we did before. We know there are a lot of poly sites, and have joined a few...but there is the same thing...they don't call it swinging...so is there a way to fit us in or a site that is different? Any suggestions are welcome and thanked for in advance Katt

hi pac i hope i didnt upset u. that was not my intention. just help u look at different views. and possible help u cope with out anymore hurt. like i said accidents happen in the heat of the moment. hurting a womans feelings is not on my list nor do i see it ur husbands either. i know from experience the hurt u feel when the other breaks a rule. it has happen to me(im kitt) she is katt. but i look at it on a different view to see what went wrong. we both learned and talked about it and it hasnt happend again nor will it. we still love each other nothing has change. we still play and sense we were so new at it we look at the swingers lifestyle different then we did before. it is a game to us. we have fun. and we have greaten or sex life with each other. all the factor that we were searching for. when we started we didnt know what to expect. what the other might think if the sex sounded hotter than our own. but we see now it is all about having fun. the experience we both share with other people. and the fact that we are closer to each other now than we have ever been with anyone we have been with before coooollll. i get off my soap box hope i helped u and didnt hurt u in anyway. have fun cause we do. and what is ur question ask away talk to u later kitt

what would u have done if u were trying to get that last stroke in before he cam and u didnt get off or out in time before the load was released into ur mouth or else wheres? what would u say or do? after all u were just having fun and enjoying the sexual activitie that u were both enjoying only u missed judge ur time on the guy. would u tell him? or just quick and say honey he cam in me i sorry. or say i was having fun and didnt get off in time and caught his load. i believe in rules and holding up to them. but this rule is one that is sure to be broken by both partys and not intentionaly.but by be caught up in the moment of pure hard sex. i can say if i were ur hubby i would tell u that i was sorry and do everything to show my love to u. also i would afraid to swing again in fear of hurting because from my past swinging experience every situation is going to be different. just remember it is all for fun and to just have fun and enjoy each other. take care you two will be fine.

update again..... Hi everybody, the Mrs here, Well we got some word from my doc finally, seems that on my hormones, I am VERY low on progesterone ( wich can cause "low labido") my levels was 18, doc said it should be between 100 and 600....so now taking progesterone twice a day ( and can feeeeeeel a big differance in labido ) already hmmmm As for the other pain, or at least part of it....doc said x-ray shows degenerative disks in my spine and neck and wants to do a MRI next But all in all we are still grateful that the labido is back, and all the symptoms sure seems to be pointing to Fibromyalgia......at least it's all a exact match on internet. Hope this helps someone out there that may be suffering from low labido, and thanks to al yall' for your help xoxoxo C