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Hawk14

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About Hawk14

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    Maine
  1. well, dear Mrs. hereiam, I guess we can relate. It has certainly taken the fun out of this lifestyle for me. It just gets to be uncomfortable when I see his reaction. My hubby has put his best foot forward somewhat....last week he was obviously trying to be more affectionate with me. Still, after a few days that all cooled down. Now he's back to staying up later than me (which is really not that uncommon for him at all) and doing his internet porn thing. We have a couple currently interested in us...we've emailed, exchanged pics, etc. and are just waiting to meet. I told him I would meet them but would not play on the first date. Rather than letting it go at that, I always get the lecture of how "if things click, then why not?" We've had that happen before, of course. But I feel worn and beaten down when it comes to the lifestyle these days. When he's with someone else, he gives them excessive long, passionate kisses which I haven't seen in a very long time personally!!! His caresses are wonderful and he seems so "into" it....all that is not abnormal in the lifestyle, but it is when it's not beginning at home where it should be. I feel "traded in" for a time, or "swapped onto another man." I shouldn't be feeling like this if I'm to find any enjoyment in this lifestyle. My fault is that I let it go too long before speaking up, hoping it would improve at home. It certainly hasn't enhanced us in anyway...more like taken away from us. Because I'm bi, we have FMF times....but it's still there with other women...his passion, playfulness and all those things. WHY wouldn't this cause some jealousy issues and resentment??? I've just gone into counseling with a swinger-friendly therapist just to be able to talk to SOMEONE!!! Thanks everyone!!! And as for two posts above, yeah, I know what men are by nature....but this could also become a lame excuse for not putting your partner first.
  2. Thanks, everyone! Some great words of wisdom. I know that we should take care ourselves first...after all, we haven't been married for long and have only known each other a couple of years. While, I understand that the wooing is long over (or really...should it be??) the whole swinging thing has made everything so apparent. I must admit that it's hard to get turned on watching hubby with someone else when his tenderness and lovemaking come through loud and clear...LOVEmaking should be for us only. I've made it very clear that the couples thing is over...yet he still would like the bifemales around. But with this, I still get to see his performance. If I got ALL that they did (and hopefully more) then I'd be okay. I love this guy beyond belief and he's the only man I really care to have...guess that's why it hurts so much to share him when I feel I'm getting far less than other women do. I've talked with him about it...now we'll see what happens. Stuff like this can really bring down a relationship fast because we're both so sexual.
  3. Just had to ask...is it wrong for me to feel that I want it all, too??? or am I way off base and should expect others getting things I don't. This man does it all for me...we cut out other men just recently and have just bi females for fun...had to make that correction. Hubby hasn't been very pleased with that.
  4. Weird title but couldn't come up with anything more descriptive! This is Mrs. Hawk writing. My hubby and I haven't been married a year yet but have been swinging together for about a year. He was already experienced in this area and had all his feelings about it down to a science...with me it's been more of a slow evolve. To get to the point, I've had some jealousy issues. It has plagued our relationship quite a bit. Sometimes I've felt okay with it and other times I just haven't. What has been more frustrating about it for both of us is that I could never completely come up with WHY I'm hot and cold and why the jealousy. It's become evident that some of it has centered around our own sexual relationship. I see him come alive with another partner and yet he can go days on end without touching me. Have to say that we're both in our early 50's and I know that can be a factor and yet we're both very sexual and sensual people...why can't we get it together with each other? When we've been with others, I see how sensual he really is....he takes his time and seduces beautifully. I'm afraid we've already fallen into the humdrum of an occasional late night encounter which is always predictable...nothing new. I've told him this several times. Quite honestly, it's hard to see your man come alive with his wonderful, slow kisses and caresses with someone else when it doesn't happen hardly ever at home. Also, he loves being very oral with someone else but it's downright rare (VERY rare) with me. I've asked him to be honest if there's something wrong with me there and he claims there isn't. Others have loved doing me in this way. It's just a mystery to me....I've told him I want it all, too...the candles, the hours to explore with each other, etc. He gets easily irritated as if I'm being selfish. I've gotta say...when it isn't happening at home already one can be very insecure in the relationship...my jealousy has been hard to overcome when I've watched this repeatedly and then I say it out loud to him. He claims I'm just jealous and not letting him enjoy. It's like talking to a brick wall. I'm ready to pull the plug on couples AND females over this and our marriage of less than a year is already rocky over this very subject. It just doesn't feel right anymore to me...none of it. Have any of you ever had this experience at any time and how did you ever overcome it???? Thanks. I'm very discouraged.
  5. OMG no.....there are so called "mature" swingers or better thought of as seasoned that still only do same room swap. We generally do the play together thing and yet there are a few couples that we've grown close to that we love doing separate rooms with them....the key with us is the trust thing all the way around with everyone. I guess "mature" is best to happen right from the start as in trust and communication with the couple...as to steps, it seems everyone would have a different line-up there...depending on experience and the couple themselves. Good question and great answers from others!
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