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wolfnblu

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15 Good

About wolfnblu

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 09/02/1965

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Kansas City area
  • Swinging Experience
    2 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    wolfnblu

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  1. pritty girl have a happy Birthday and have fun

  2. I don't think the labels are important. If they have sought out a swinger's club to attend, and are enjoying the open sexual play that others are choosing to have right there in a public place, I'm cool with that. If you don't want others standing around watching you have sex, don't do it there.
  3. wow, haven't seen anything posted about ClubForeplay, our favorite site!
  4. What are you going to do if someone comes in here and says, "yes, he should have done all of those things." How does it change anything to have your hurt, left out feelings validated by someone else? It doesn't. I can understand your feelings. But I do think, if you plan to continue swinging, that you should work them out and get over it. Your wife may experience lots of things with a different partner than she ever has with you, unless you have some kind of rule that says, "don't ever do anything with someone else unless you've done it with me first." That's part of the fun of swinging, IMO.
  5. I agree with graygo98. Were you the only one who wanted it to stop? how about your wife? how did she react? You said she was "delirious" so I wouldn't imagine she would be too interested in stopping. What has she said to you since then?
  6. No, sorry....it's not like that. I just posted more info, hope that helps you all understand. We haven't been naked with another couple yet. We've met one couple, made out with them kissing and stuff some. They contacted us. I was okay with that. We met another couple this past weekend, they also had contacted us. I seem to be okay with another couple if they contact us first. I just am not okay with him seeking out another couple for us to play with.
  7. He has said both of those things. That I am a control freak, and that I should give him more credit than I do....trust him more. So you're probably right on target. A little history...the first time we ever played with someone else, it was spontaneous. With a longtime girlfriend of mine. We were all drinking, and it was just the right time, right place, right thing for all of us to do. There was no penetration, she and I teased him mercilessly, and then she gave him a blowjob. The second time was years later, with the same girlfriend. We had talked about inviting her to our bedroom (figuratively) for years, during lovemaking. It was very exciting to talk about. Finally, we decided to start calling her and flirting with her, made a "date" with her, until the point came where I just outright told her that I was okay with anything that she and he wanted to do. And I was. I wanted him to fuck her, I wanted to watch it and be part of it. And I was. But I was comfortable in the knowledge that I *could* stop it if I wasn't feeling okay with it. So....from the start - I controlled everything....especially WHO it was. It was my longtime girlfriend, I trusted her, and she had known us both for many years. It sounds shitty to say it, but I knew that I was the "alpha female"....superior to her IN HIS EYES in every way....and had nothing to lose. The "thing" that I am talking about that this thread is all about is going to sound very trite, probably. Our arrangement, since he works all day and is gone, had been that I had been the one who would perv the profiles and browse the members, looking for suitable couples. When I found a couple whose profile showed a pic of the husband as well as the wife, and when I thought both of them were attractive to our standards - not just him, I looked at her, too even tho I am not bi, I know the general type that my husband is attracted to - and I would put them into our "Friends." There were MANY couples in there for him to "choose" from....we would talk about them and decide together who to contact and who to delete from "Friends." That's not good enough for him. He now wants to be able to perv the profiles....go through all of them, looking for couples for us like I have been. But I don't like it. It makes me feel like he is "on the prowl", looking for someone to fuck. Which I guess he is, that is what this is all about, but I want to choose who he will fuck and who he won't. I guess I could have gone along with it and said he could, but in my heart I feel like I would have found some reason to disqualify any couple he found because I would know that SHE is the primary reason he selected them. For 13 years we have been together, and he has never, NEVER made me jealous. Never even looked at another woman. I know you are saying, Yeah sure, he has looked, he's human. But honestly if he has, I never knew it. He has treated me like a princess, adored me, admired me, lusted after me, has made me feel like I am the only woman in the whole world who could turn his head.....and now suddenly I am supposed to be okay with him SEEKING OUT someone else to fuck? I really am okay with him doing someone else with me present.....and with me involved with her husband at the same time.....but I think I will feel inferior or something to her if I don't pick her out. And it's not like I put unattractive women in our Friends. They are, they are really attractive, as are their husbands. But for some reason, I feel the need to choose her, not let him choose her from the general public on the site. I have put like 20 or so couples into our friends, it's not like he didn't have anything to choose from. So last night, when this all came to a head, he was surfing the site....catching up on emails that we had received during the day like always, and started reading the forums on the site. Not this site, on the ad site. Some girl on there had some amusing posts, so he perved her profile. He looked at all the pics in their Main/Public Gallery. He looked at all the pics in their restricted Gallery. He commented on their location. There were a couple of pics of her husband in there, and he asked me if I liked bald guys - which is sort of a joke between us because there seem to be an abundance of short, bald guys in this lifestyle around here - and I don't particularly go for short bald guys....just really taking too much of an interest in her for my liking. In the first place, they live like 2.5 hours from us, and he wouldn't even drive an hour away for an event that I wanted to go to last weekend because it was too far. Secondly, she is 28 years old, and we had not been looking at 20-somethings (we are 39 and 40). So I got snippy at him perving her when he was not supposed to be, had agreed not to do that. He got defensive. Fine! Fine! Blah. It is a control thing, I know it.
  8. Well, yes exactly. What else are you supposed to do when you absolutely will not tolerate an activity because it makes you so uncomfortable?
  9. Sorry, but I'm afraid to say what it is...mostly because I think you all are going to tell me that I'm not ready for swinging. I want to do this, but I want to do it like our first time - I had total - 1000% control over the situation, down to the point where I told him to put his dick in her. It was understood and agreed by him and her that I could say stop at any time. I didn't, it was very exciting to me.....but now he wants to remove that control, and it scares me.
  10. We had dialogue when I told him about it making me uncomfortable. I talked through my feelings, out loud to him, when I realized that I was getting snippy every time he would do this. I knew that it wasn't fair to him....but the fact is that I felt that way, whether it's fair or not. So I owned up to it, told him it made me uncomfortable, and said that I preferred he not do it. He was understanding about it, although not really thrilled to be asked to stop, but agreed to. Then, now, a week or so later, it's not okay with him. Gah. Yes, I guess it's a classic case of what's good for the goose....etc. But who says that in order to be fair, all things have to be equal? What if one person is more comfortable and relaxed, needs fewer restrictions placed on their partner than the other? Should they play tit for tat and place those restrictions on their partner anyway, because those restrictions are being placed upon them? JUST BECAUSE? When, if left to their own devices, would not feel the need to place those restrictions upon their partner, but is doing so just so things are "equal?" I say different people have different comfort levels, and just because things aren't equal doesn't mean it can't work...doesn't mean it's not fair.
  11. We were meeting people, things were progressing along nicely. Then I realized that something he was doing made me uncomfortable...I was getting snippy every time he would do it. So I told him about it, and asked that he not do it. He agreed for about a week, but now has rebelled and told me that it won't work like that.....me being able to do this thing, but him not being allowed to. I said I'm sorry, but that that is the only way it CAN work, because I'm just not comfortable with him doing it. So he said we're done, then. So we're done. (you really think so?) So now we're both a little pissy with each other....him at me for putting this restriction/ultimatum on him, and me with him for his turnaround and ultimatum on me. He wanted to delete our profiles on the swinger sites, but I told him I'd put too much work into it and that he could not delete them. I really think that we will eventually work this out and be back. So I told him to just let them lay dormant for a while and that neither of us should go to the sites to check mail, communicate with others, or even perv the profiles. So, I haven't been there all day. I'm down. I feel like my new favorite toy has been taken away from me. I didn't go to the gym this morning....instead I ate two chocolate long john donuts....and Doritos for lunch. I don't even want to look at all the new sexy clothes websites that I've recently found and have been excited about ordering from, for upcoming lifestyle events (that we've already paid for, I might add). I tried to cancel an order I placed - that he INSISTED I place - for a tshirt that says, "I have the pussy, so I make the rules." He insisted that I order it on Friday (today is Monday). I told him this morning that I was going to cancel it because a) it was stupid, b) it wasn't true, and c) I won't have any place to wear it since we aren't going to be going to any clubs or anything anymore. Yes, I'm pouting. I'm not happy. Just venting, I guess. But yes, I am fully aware that if one is not okay with the limitations that the other one puts upon them, that it's ok to say "I'm/we're not going to play under those rules." It just sucks that he said okay at first, and then a week later he's not okay with it.
  12. Great posts from you. Looking foward to reading more about this encounter!
  13. WOW. WOW. I cannot believe you had the gall to say that! I was just telling my husband last night that if I were a man, I would be getting a complex at alll of the women on the swing sites who are "bi"...and just want to play with other women! Gah. Something's not right there....there is a disproportionate number of women claiming to be bi, I think. It seems to be what's "in vogue."....to say you're bi and play with women. I'm not bi....I love men...but finding a couple out there where the female is interested in Wolf and not ME....is seeming to be difficult.
  14. A validation on one particular site is proof that you are "real." Another member can "vouch" for you, if they have met you in person. Once someone validates you, then there is a "Validated Real" symbol on your profile. It lets other members know that your profile is not a fake one, and that you are seriously pursuing the lifestyle because you are out meeting people.
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