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Rombi's Girl

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  1. Dito All I can say is bless their hearts. As for me, I'd want to know which man fathered my children, and I'd like all my children to be fathered by the same man.
  2. I love kissing. My partner and I rarely kiss for very long (I mean over 10 seconds), and I too miss the days of making out and kissing for an hour at a time when your relationship is new. My big thing is being turned on by kissing. It's an important first step in the seduction process. First, let me say that he and I respect all boundries of any couples that we play with. But personaly, I find it hard to relate to the philisophy "fuck my wife/husand just don't kiss her/him". If you are "ok" with someone else having intercourse with your partner, why the artifical kissing limit? Fine, fine. Save the special things for your partner. I respect that, I do. But the only limits that we have are: *safe sex always *same room unless at a house party, then it's a "no locked door" policy *three "yes"s and one "no" still means "no" This means if I want to swallow or not, it's up to me. This means I don't have to look over and check to make sure that the other two are using a condom. If I want to neck with the other man, and he doesn't want to with her, that's fine with us, if it's fine with them. And the 3 "yes"s rule means that no one takes one for the team. The first house party we went to together raised an interesting point. Namely, there was a couple there that was really into us. I was very much NOT interested in the male half of the couple, so I told my partner how I felt. And I said that if there were agreeable, just the wife and my partner could play together. The other couple was OK with it, and off my partner and the wife went to play in a room. Well after about an hour or so, I went looking for my partner and encountered a locked door. Mind you I didn't want to make it a threesome, I just wanted to know that they hadn't fallen asleep, and if finished, could let others use the bed as space was kind of limited. Needless to say that very evening the "no locked doors" became a hard and fast rule with us. My favorite "new" rule of ours is an idea that I got from reading some posts here on the board. When going to an on-sight club, my partner and I have fun together there first ensuring that I actually do have an orgasm. Because it was just way too frustrating for me to go home, well, frustrated after an evening of play without any release. Thanks for letting me share. Peace, RG
  3. I saw this as a reply to another thread, and thought it'd make a great new thread. The first time I went to NYC, I went as a prize that I had won. I was supposed to fly in with lots of other good girl winners, but alas, I missed my flight. We were all going to be on the same flight and were supposed to share a taxi to the hotel, but since I was alone, I showed up a few hours latter than they did, and about $60 dollars lighter by the time I got to the hotel. When I got to the hotel, I was shocked to see how long the line was for the front desk. Having worked in hotels as a front desk clerk and knowing a thing or two about group check in procedures, I thought I might try to use the white house phone to call the operator and ask for a security guard to meet me in the lobby. A few minutes later, a sexy, hazel eyed, muscular guy walks up to me and says, "Are you ____?" I said yes, he checked my ID, and we got on the next elevator. He was hot, and as we made our way to the room number he had indicated was our destination, I looked out of the corner of my eyes and noticed that he was looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. When we got to the room I was staying in, he said, "Enjoy your stay in New York City!" I said, "Can I ask you a question?" He nodded his head yes, while he kept his foot in the door. I said, "Close the door." He said, "We aren't allowed to be in the guest's rooms with the door closed." I said, "But I want to ask you a question." After he let the door close, I asked him, "What would you want to see if this was your first visit from the Mid-West to the Big Apple?" I was thinking that he would recommend a few velvet rope type dance clubs, that would make a mid-western girl blush. He told me that he could recommend a few places. Later that night, after my roommate went to sleep, we met at the agreed upon time, in the hotel lobby near the hotel bar, listening to some really bad karaoke filtering on the air to where we sat, and we talked. It was late at night, but 20 minutes later, we went across the street to an all night pizza place for his break. All the while talking and making meaningful eye contact. We arranged to meet the next night after all the goody-goody roommates of mine went to bed. We stayed up talking most of that night, and I crept into my room, alone, just before dawn, but not after making plans to meet up again the next night. The next night, after everyone was asleep, l dressed in what I thought was a hip outfit to get into any club that he might take me to, we met down the street from the hotel, back at the same pizza place. But we didn't go in, instead we walked to his car and started to drive. A few minutes later, we parked and went in to a club called La Trapeze. Minutes later, we parted ways to enter their locker rooms to change into some very short towels. After locking up my clothes, I met him on the other side to take a tour of the club. In the basement of this magnificent club, they had a large pool, a wet sauna and also a dry sauna. We stopped in the wet sauna, and his hands rubbed my neck, shoulders and back. After his hands got to me, and the steam got to us, we made our way upstairs for the rest of the tour. The first floor was even more grand than the richly appointed basement. The 1st fl offered a very large, ceramic tiled hot tub with a large tiled 'deck' and many potted plants. A BYOB bar, a restaurant where you could order light food like sandwiches and appetizers, and a room with wall to wall mattresses and the walls were covered in mirrors, and also featured the locker rooms of course. In a corner of the mattress room was a spiral staircase, leading to the 2nd floor. Which featured many open door rooms with equipment that I would be hard pressed to describe, even to this day, and a loft that over looked the mattress room with the mirrors. In the bar area a couple was celebrating their marriage, and had a case of champagne which they offered to those in the bar area. After a couple of drinks, we made our way back towards the mattress room, selecting a mattress in the far corner near the spiral staircase. Eyes closed, we were kissing deeply, hands exploring each other's bodies. When I felt what I was sure were another, softer pair of hands on my thighs, working up towards my more sensitive skin. I peeked open my eyes to look in the mirror, and I saw that another woman was touching me. I sighed, closed my eyes again and gave myself over to the sensations coursing though my body. A short time later, feeling yet more hands on me, I looked once more into the mirrors and saw that the entire staircase was lined with people looking on, as was the loft over looking the room, and the doorway was crowded with people looking in on the scene also. I felt as if I was in the best porno I had ever seen, come to life, with me as the star. I could feel waves of pleasure washing over and over me as my orgasm drew near. Finally, I was really close. And peeking open my eyes again, looking at all those that were watching the action, I felt the throbbing deep inside, the strong waves coming closer and closer together, until finally I exploded. It was glorious. Afterwards, he and I made our way to the tile lined hot tub and soaked up the steam, while in each other's arms. Eventually we made our way back to my hotel, but instead of going back up to my room, we were naughty and snuck into a room that was out of order and under going repairs. We spooned, and spoke of other things that I wanted to do during my short stay in NYC. He was off the next day, so we planned to go to the Empire State Building. At the top, looking out over my now favorite city, we took in the view. I was only scheduled to stay for three days, but I postponed my trip back home another day. He took me to the town where he lived, Yonkers, and we saw a movie, The Birdcage. Afterwards, we went back to his place and had sex for hours. It was great. He gave me his address and phone number, but I never saw him again. When I got back home to the Midwest, I met my regular lover for coffee, and told him of my adventures. He was so excited, that we began to swing with other couples. And since we have moved on from seeing each other, I have continued in my sexual adventures with my current partner. It has been almost ten years, but I have never forgotten my security guard/tour guide of the steamier side of Manhattan. Please share your story, about what got you stared in the lifestyle. And if you are the man in my story, you'd know who you are by reading my story, please send me a private message. We have much to catch up on, and many stories to share.
  4. Oprah did a segment on swinging, she was netural. Then Dr. Phil did a segment on swinging, which had a very negative slant. Since we are going to a local club this Friday night, I'll have to set the VCR for the 20/20 piece. I hadn't heard about it, thanks for the heads up on this! RG
  5. Thanks for the back up, sensuality. I knew that there had to be others out there of a like mind. I don't recall saying that I cheated on my ex-husband. That isn't a denial. But believe me, sex had nothing to do with my divorce. I just wonder how the swingers that identify themselves as Christians (or any other self labeled, devout religious follower) handle the issue of adultry. ANY sex with a partner you are not married to, when you yourself are married - or you are single, but the sexual partner is married to another is adultry by definition. I don't lose any sleep over this because I am not devout. I was wondering how those that claim to seek honesty feel about this dichotomy. I also never said I felt that swinging made me feel bad, dirty, or wrong. And as for a place to start? It's a little late to be "starting" some 9 years after I got started. If all your needs are being met at home, then why do either of you feel the need to look outside your relationship for sex? As for myself, I cannot fill all my partners needs when he claims that he needs "strange". That he would be bored if he couldn't have sex with several different women. I myself like the comfort of my partner. He knows what I like and the sex is good. I find it occaisionally hard to achieve an orgasm with a new partner, whether in swinging or just starting out a new romantic relationship. I do wish we did more soft swapping. It sometimes bothers me that I don't get off as easily as I see other women do. That is as far as it goes to make me feel "bad". I think that I stated a couple of times that I don't know if I want to give up swinging. Occaisionally I do get off with a new partner, and have been lucky enough to swing with some really incredibly well endowed men, and some enthusiastically bisexual women. That to me has made this lifestyle worth while. But I have to confess that I think it is a crock of shit when I hear some couples say "how much swinging has done for their relationship". I am very hard pressed to think of a single thing that swinging has done to enhance mine. *steps off soap box* Peace, RG Surrender
  6. Thank you to TNT for the welcome. Thanks to funtoplay for the suggestion to the link. Not to flame you either, but the "forsaking all others" vows don't say anything about the difference between loving another person and sexual relations with other people. To forsake means: 1) To give up (something formerly held dear); renounce. 2) To leave altogether; abandon I am not a Christian. And I really do not think that I am having a crisis of faith. I have a healthy outlook of the god of my understanding. I love my partner. More to the point, I love the way I feel when I am around him, and when I show him through "acts of service" that I love him. (acts of service = making coffee, starting his car in the morning, scraping off his windows of snow and/or ice, buying his favorite food items, scratching his back, things that are for his benefit, things that affect his comfort, things that he really notices, etc...) Acts of service, refers to one of the 5 Love Languages. (a book by a Christian author, Mark Chapman) A book I highly recommend, whether you identify as a Christian or not. I don't feel flamed. Yet. As for a sense of peace, I'll have to get back to you. I've been in the lifestyle for 9+yrs, with two different partners, at two different times in my life. I am NOT the jealous type. Do I feel peace? I am not weirded out by sex. Feel no guilt about my desires, either. Is it possible to restate my eariler opinion? What I should have said is I wish my partner found that all of his needs were satisified by our primary relationship. I feel highly motivated to satisify his needs. Am I wrong to wish he felt as strongly? If you saw Dr. Phil's first show on swinging, the husband said he wished that they has a "normal sex life". I feel where he is coming from. In my past, both men were the driving force in the swing relationship. Now that I have been doing it for nearly 10 yrs, I am not sure that I could give it up. I truly feel that primary relationships should be completely satisifing. However in the real world, it is often difficult to separate from those that do not meet all of our needs. The devil you know, vs. the devil you don't, and all. Most people, both men and women are willing to settle for less than their ideal. I don't know where I am going with all of this. But I don't want to be guilty of hijacking a thread, so I will be a good girl, and check out that link. And if I feel it is necessary, I will start a new thread. I truly apprerciate the welcome, and the link on vows - I'll check it out after I hit "submit reply". Thanks to everyone for reading my message.
  7. I saw the show. I taped it and the original show for my partner to watch. So far he hasn't. I agree that Dr. Phil sounded old fashioned when he said that swinging never works, ever. But I also thought that there was something to be considered. Most swingers are married. Most marriage vows include the phrase, "forsaking all others". I just wonder how all the religious and married swingers that desire "honesty" resolve this issue. I mean, did, or did most couples declare before a God of their understanding, in front of family and friends this sacred vow? I've been a swinger for 9 years. I am divorced from my first and last husband. Since I don't plan to stop swinging, I don't think I will likely remarry because of that. I know that you can write any vows you'd like to take. But I have an old fashioned view of marriage. And it includes the view point that my husband should be the only possible father of my children. Yes, I am a safe sex swinger. I also like the "forsaking all others" part of vows. I just wish I could live up to that. I'd very much want my future husband to "forsake all others". I'd want him to want me, not other women. I personally know some swinging couples that have a "no kissing" rule, and while I respect this limit, I think it is silly. IMO, if sex with another person that you're not married to is OK, then anal and kissing should be too. I am very prepared to receive lots of hate mail by stating these opinions. I am quite popular with the swinging smokers that I have told that I am thrilled that my city has a public smoking ban. The ban prohibits smoking in bars and restaurants. I can now go out for the evening w/o smelling like an ashtray. Back to the topic, I enjoy sex. I enjoy my partner more than I like sleeping around at swing clubs. The day that he says this lifestyle makes him feel empty, and that he desires a porn free, exclusive union, I will have some tough thinking to do. I mean, I hate porn. But monogamy has always been tough for me, because I have usually settled for my needs not being met by my partners and have looked outside my primary relationship to try to satisfy those needs. Is it possible that I am the only swinger that wishes my primary relationship satisfied all me emotional and sexual needs? Does everyone want to line up to those tomatoes at me? Will I be called a Dr. Phil groupie just because I feel this way? If you don't feel brave enough to support me here on this thread, then feel free to send me a PM (email). Otherwise, if you feel the need to flame and shame me, please direct your negative comments here, as I will be following this thread like the news, several times a day. Don't mean to hijack the OP's thread. I just wanted to share my opinion.
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