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bear123

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About bear123

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    Just Getting Started

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    Boston
  1. OK, from reading the posts I’ve determined that there are two major categories of MFM experience. One where both M’s participate, and one where it’s more of a voyeur-type experience with hubby looking on as wifey gets it on with another guy. For myself, the ladder of these two experiences really entices and excites me (and my better half is on board), but as many times as I’ve tried to run through the situation I’ve not been able to picture myself just standing around watching the whole thing transpire. Won’t I feel like a dope just standing there? I’ve read that other people actually get naked and start masturbating, but (to me at least) this seems like it would be extremely uncomfortable, not only for myself, but for wifey and the other M.
  2. OK, I believe I owe the forum an update. Over the past few days I've come to realize that my concern was with myself and my reaction. How can I justify getting so turned on by this behavior yet still finding myself uncomfortable and jealous by it? What sort of crazy mixed signals was I giving my poor girlfriend? Anyway, after sorting out my feelings and reading all your helpful messages I've come to terms with this and I'm now much more comfortable. I've learned that jealousy doesn't really follow logical rules and cannot be reasoned with. It just happens, and when it does the only escape is communication and periodic infusions of trust. She now looks out for me while she's online. If I start to look uncomfortable, she stops. I've sworn to let her know when I feel uncomfortable and not just go brood in a corner. It's worked out well and in fact, since we put those ground rules in place, I've not felt uncomfortable or jealous at all... As for the guy, I suppose I never did take his viewpoint into account and it wasn't particularly fair. I'll leave it to her if she wishes to disclose her true situation. Honestly though, (and I'm sure I'll get flamed for this) having been a 23 year old single guy trying to pick up girls in a chat room in the past, this guy has ended up with a lot more than he's really expected. He's been able to chat with a REAL woman who is REALLY into him who has sent REAL pictures to him and has had REAL cyber-sex with him. She's actually never lied to him. In fact, she's told him numerous times that I'm sitting right next to her, but he brushes those comments off as a joke. (OK,OK, just to keep the flames down, I KNOW it's still deceitful) Thanks for all your advice and help. This forum is fantastic...
  3. I decided to create a new account to post this message. I know that's not a good sign right off the bat, but please don't let that give you the impression that I've not discussed this with my partner. It's just that she would be mortified if I were to post this under our co-profile... Anyway, just as a way to introduce the message, we got into this primarily through my influence. We've always been good communicators and I let her know that one of my fantasies was to see her with another man. She really was not that interested, but frequently indulged my fantasy through sexy pillow-talk and role-playing. I have to admit it got me REALLY going. Somewhere along the line I mentioned the possibility of swinging. She was curious enough to put a profile up on a number of the boards. Soon enough we were chatting with a number of couples and we were considering meeting a few of them. At some point along the way she started up a conversation with a single guy. Over the course of a few evenings things got pretty heavy. (Web-cam and all). She had led the guy to believe that she was playing around without my knowledge. It was probably one of the hottest few nights we had ever had and I could barely breathe I was so excited. Anyway, at some point along the way, I started to feel a little bit excluded. It started off with us both chatting. (i.e., she would ask "what should I type next!"), it moved into her chatting a little more one-on-one, and then moved into her chatting completely on her own. (although usually sitting on the couch next to me while I watch TV or read) This started to bother me and I started feeling pangs of jealousy (something that I didn't think I would ever feel with her). We talk about it all the time. It usually starts with me being a little upset, moving into a discussion of our feelings, and finally an admission on my part that this is just stupid (especially when she shows me the logs of what she typed) and an encouragement by me to get back into it. She has gotten somewhat frustrated with me over this given that I tend to swing back and forth between super turned on and egging her to do more than she's doing, and then back to this somewhat uncomfortable state. She tells me that she would never actually meet this guy, but she does REALLY want to, but (for obvious reasons) I'm not sure I should encourage the meeting. She surreptitiously asked if he would be up for an MFM meeting, but he declined. Anyway, at this point I'm not sure where to go. I know that she would stop if I asked her (she's told me that in numerous of our conversations), but I would really feel like an overprotective ass if I let something as illogical as this get in the way. She's let her feelings be known that she thinks this is completely benign and safe situation that she would like to continue, and honestly I have to agree with that assessment. What I find even more interesting is that for me the sex talk (and the cyber-sex for that matter) don't really bother me. It's the just daily chit-chat (e.g. "how was your day", "oh, I met this annoying sales clerk who......", etc. etc.) coupled with the sex talk that really gets me (strange, eh?) It probably also gets me that this guy thinks he is fooling around with my girlfriend without my knowledge. I figured I'd pose the question to you all. Thanks...
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