JandL

Well put Coupleinidaho, I fully agree that monogamy is nothing that should be looked down upon. It takes a lot of work for some people, and most don't make it. So hats off to the couples can make monogamy work! Just the same as I say hats off to the couples that make swinging work! If anyone should be looked down on, it should be the cheaters and liars that can come with any type of relationship.

This statement really stands out to me. They showed a lot of proof of chemical reactions for so called "bonding". But what if they are nothing but warm fuzzies? My wife and I are deeply in love. But to say that love was something that was created the first time we were in the sack would be ridiculous. I am not sure when this "lifelong love" began, I'm sure it was somewhere between the 6 month to 3 year area. Maybe it never began and it's like a snowball rolling. But I think the love we experience now is nothing related to that initial bonding. Maybe successful swingers just have a natural resistance to snowball rolling, and never let it progress further than warm fuzzies.

There is an email list that Berman and Berman allow you to sign up for. And being the curious type we are we read their sexual health articles once in a while. A recent email contained the following: What are your thoughts on this?

I had to make this choice a year ago for my son. Despite pressure from family and friends I left him uncut. I feel it is his decision later in life. Our pediatrician coached us a little about the foreskin. She told us NOT to pull it back to clean it. She told us to leave it alone, and it'll form a little seal that will naturally keep bad things out. And that doing so actually increases the chance of infection...and increases the chance that the foreskin could potentially get stuck in the back position. It's my opinion after hearing this that these mysterious medical benefits come from improper (excessive) early care by unknowing parents. My son has been going 15 months strong with zero problems. Just wipe him up afterward like anything else.

I haven't swung yet, but could potentially have blackmail used against me in relation to my work. I think I will have to make a decision if I can afford to be outted. Because you really do have to plan for the worst case scenario. If I absolutely could not be outted then this lifestyle wouldn't work for me. Would I succumb to blackmail? Certainly not. So that is why I have to make that choice before I start swinging.

I recently heard a funny statement on grading women...and I suppose men. There is the scale we all are very familiar with. The 1-10 Scale. In fact, I think we have all heard, "Hey man look, that chick is a TEN." But any real man knows that there is a much more truthful scale out there... And it is the 0-1 Scale. Yup 2 spots. Do or don't. Good enough or not. And I'll admit it. 90% of the people, if not more, based on looks alone are definatly ones to me. =) I wouldn't worry about looks. My two cents. Hope you got a chuckle out of it.

You're not alone. My wife too sees the "wrongness" of it. And although she is somewhat attracted to it, she is still keeping the idea at a distance. And I, like you, am having a hard time being patient and just kind of letting it go. I still check this site everyday, and read stuff online about it. Which probably just makes it all the harder. Oh well. Good things come to those who wait, right? Hang in there.