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cracker60479

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About cracker60479

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    Verona, Ill (near Seneca)
  1. Thank you all so much. There is a reason this is such a great site. You people can see things from a true unbiased viewpoint. You always get it right. Thanks TNT, I think you really do understand. Western Swing was only off on the last paragraph. That is totally not true. I take your blunt advice Spoo. I need no more responses to this thread. I will not go to the reunion. I will remove the possibility for that encounter. You all may have saved much pain in a situation where at least two innocent people would have to be hurt. Thanks.
  2. I wrote the Charity Sex thread. You said 100 percent, no attraction, no sex no matter what you thought of the person or saw in them. The attraction thing, my marriage and another woman are what this thread is about. I love my wife. I would never leave her. We met on the 'net and found so many things that make us alike and right for each other. We are soul mates. We cannot survive without each other. Yet, as much as I love her, the attraction is not there. We had both been divorced for a while and finding each other brought interest. We talked for a long while and it became clear we would have sex the first time. It took about 10 minutes, after talking for two months, and we were naked on the floor. I had taken Viagra and it continued all night. It was enjoying this excitement of someone new that was the attraction. We were sure we were right for each other, lived together about 6 weeks and got married. The initial excitement began to wane even as the realization that in all other ways we were perfect for each other. I lived in Illinois, fell in love with a girl when we were 6. Puppy love. But at age 15 I knew I wanted to marry her and the farm style life I wanted us to have. Suddenly my family moves to Florida and the last night I see her I want to tell her I love her, always will and will never forget about her, but was only 15 and didn't. I moved back 3 yrs ago and 2 yrs ago saw her at a class reunion. We hugged and I saw in her eyes the 15 year old girl I loved 45 years ago. After moving to Fla. I had dreams of her, literally for the past 47 years now and not one about maybe a couple dozen girl friends, a first wife or my present. There is a place in the heart of my mind for her and no one else. I feel the same about her today as I did all those years ago. She is divorced and has a live in boy friend. I will see her at another reunion and want to tell her what I have felt all these years, she is the only one I have ever really wanted in my life. I love my wife. I am not attracted to her. I am attracted to a girl from my past and I cant help it. My wife has stage four cancer and I will always be there for her, and will never let her find out, but I want the other woman. I married for better or worse and will keep my vows. The old girlfriend may laugh at me, she may rebuff me. But I must know if it could have been her and I if I had never left, and is there anything left between us. If so, I want her in my life, not a flaming torch but an eternal flame. I would describe that as being ready to cheat. I know what you are going to tell me. But does 56 years of wanting someone, in one hand weigh any less than 7 years and a commitment to a future of love and respect for my wife in the other hand? I am now 63 years old and wife 56. Do I have to sacrifice something I have wanted almost all my life? Can I love my wife and another too without being a real SOB of a husband? I will never get another chance in my lifetime. My wife and I have been swingers and she would have gone along with a full swap, but this involves the way I feel and is not a swing issue and she is not able to have full sex with the cancer, even if it was. Even though this is not about swinging, it is about 4 people, feelings and sex. What do I do? I value the wisdom of all of you who reply to these life's issues. Is "cheating" ever justified? I cannot tell my wife I am going out to see someone I loved almost all my life and she has to stay home, can I? If attraction to someone is what makes sex okay for swingers and love for their spouse necessary for their marriage, what is the difference here?
  3. I agree Spoo, it is chemestry. But that is a technical word about chemicals. We use "chemestry" as a slang. What does a female see, sense, feel when she talks to a strange male for a few minutes in a sex club, with all the disturbance and distractions going on, that makes her want to go to a back room and let him fuck her ass off? Does she sense it with a glance, does she watch him over some short period of time to detect signs that she responds to, does it take conversation? It is something noticed that she likes, a lot of. Probably different amoung women. What do you women think it is? And I realize that whatever it is cannot be an act for men to make themselves attractive. With a guy it is simple, she has a decent body, not bad looking, wants to fuck....Woodie! The female determins yes or no, otherwise it would be rape. What attracts you to a man, understanding that looks play the first part in selecting a man and how he responds to you in conversation, we assume friendly and honest and receptive. What do you see or feel that does the deal?
  4. I wrote this thread. I gave you a man with everything you would require except an attraction to him. And everyone said no . Well, except the guy who figured out thats why he cant get laid . I agree, I could not get it up for a female I was not attracted to, unless I was intoxicated and really horny or it was a party gang bang or group sex. A woman can be ready when she lays down. You said you would'nt do that (or again) just for him even though you would be getting what you were there for, to have sex with another man . It is an attraction that is necessary. What is that attraction? You have said it is not looks, liking the guy, or someone you were even attracted to enough to date . Even husbands think their wife will go for a certain guy and she goes for someone they would never have expected . What is this attraction? I cant tell you Surrender. It seems like the subject for another thread (by someone else please). But if one of you ladies can tell us how to be attractive beyond the obvious, you can replace Oprah on the money list.
  5. My question is about the way a woman feels about the importance she places on her giving of sex, her charitability or her absolute insistance on certain types of men. My question is for the wives of couples who often go to on-premisis clubs and your style is to swing independant of one another. Suppose you, the wife, talks to a male at several parties. He seems nice, meets all your physical requirements, not to fat, not to tall or short, etc. but just does'nt turn you on. Maybe a little to old, not great looking, yet seems nice enough a guy. You would not initiate sex with him, he is just not what you like in men. But you know he wants you, bad. Maybe he is a little older and it would make his year to bed a young sexy looker like you. Or he may not be handsome, not ugly but not handsome and he would give a weeks pay to charity for sex with you. Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?
  6. I find this a most interesting thread. I am a bi male and the fact that 80% of the males in this poll say they would have bi sex, and the knowledge that bi activities between females is commonly accepted leads me to believe we are all naturally born bi sexual. I was totally straight for 50 years when I had a dream that I went to a nearby nude beach in Florida and a guy walked up to where I was setting and after a few words, he took hold of my head and stuck his cock in my mouth. I suddenly awoke and felt anger that the dream had ended before I could imagine what it felt like in my mouth. I was very aroused and began masturbating motivated by thoughts of sucking a cock. I was surprised and confused because I was straight and had never even thought about sucking a guy. That seemed the key idea, I had never thought about it, and when I did, it seemed very hot. This seems to support the poll, that if a guy found himself in situation of doing bi or not, he would choose to participate. What surprises me is the response of the wives who said they would enjoy watching their husband having bi sex. My wife knows I had bi experiences before we met and seems perfectly ok with it. I tend to wonder how a wife could watch her husband suck another male and not change the way she viewed his masculinity. As a bi, I do not like men, not attracted to men, I am not gay, I don't want it reciprocated, I don't want to kiss or hug or cuddle or do anal on him. My only interest is in doing oral sex on him and with the right guy would allow him to fuck me anally. But I feel my wife would have less respect for me and my masculinity if she saw this happening. I wish I could see a poll in which wives would answer if watching their husbands have bi sex would be a turn-on or a turn-off. And secondly a poll asking the men who are bi, how many would suck only, how many would only want to be sucked and how many would want both, and the same for anal, would you give, receive or both? And would kiss, cuddle and hug be part of your activity? There seems to be a wide variety of things some bi males are up for and another bi is not into. I consider my bi role as the female half and my partner as the male half, all male who doesn't suck, kiss or cuddle men, just wants his cock sucked. This brings up just one more question, do guys who only want to be sucked want it sucked by another male specifically, or do they care who does it for them as long as it feels good and they get off? Even though I play the bi role as female, I never think of myself in a feminine way, I am totally 100% masculine, looking and acting at all times. Whats up with this? This seems enough for a whole new thread but it seems to fit into this one as a subject.
  7. I would never swing with a co-worker. I would never swing with a personal friend. There are just to many things that could cause problems. If you had a falling out it could cost you your job, the rest of your friends might be told about your activities to your embarassment, other family members could find out includung parents and your children and even your childrens schoolmates, not to mention the "Harper Valley PTA". I would only consider swinging with people I had newly met with a mutual intention to establish a swinging relationship. Do u diddle? I dodiddle If you cant be good.... be good at it!
  8. I think ones conception of what "sex" is holds the answer. To one, sex is an antonym for "making love". To another "sex" is something grown-ups do as play ad libitum for fun. "Making love" is a deep emotional caring for one another which culminates in the same sexual act but with rules, written by the heart and sole that makes it love. When I grew up every guy wanted to marry a virgin, it was a macho, possessive idea, we couldn't stand the thought of her having given something of herself away, as if she would be incomplete. We had to get everything. It was jealousy. During my first marriage, my sister-in-law wanted to get pregnant but her husband's sperm count was low. I developed this fantasy that they would ask me to impregnate her. Wife and I would go to their house and her sister and I would go in the bedroom and have sex for hours while my wife & brother-in-law would just set and watch tv. I assumed both would be ok with that since it was sex for a cause, just sex, not love making and there was no need for jealousy. Adding some reality to the fantasy it came to mind if I was fucking his wife while they heard the bed squeaking, it was logical that they would end up in the other bedroom fucking too. Since I didn't want that to happen out of jealous possession, I tried to alter the fantasy scenario for their activity. But I realizes if she wouldn't be jealous of me fucking her sister because it was just sex, then I had no right to be jealous of her doing exactly the same thing I was doing at the same time. It was a moment in my life I was able to separate love from sex. Later I had a dream, wife was in the shower and the insurance man, Bob, came to the door and I invited him in for a beer. I heard the shower shut off and as I came out of the kitchen with two beers in hand, my wife came walking down the hall into the living room totally naked, not seeing Bob, she walked up to me and reached for the second beer saying thanks. I smiled and said it's not for you it's for Bob, who had stepped up beside her. She was so surprised she just said hello forgetting she was naked for about 3 seconds, then tried in vain to cover herself with her hands while we laughed at her failed attempt. Then she said, I guess there is no use covering up now, you have already seen everything I have and jumped up on the bar stool naked. I had a surge of pride in her sexy move as she had always been very inhibited and I was thrilled she would do such a bold thing. Then the doorbell rang and it was her parents. I pushed them both away saying go hide, I will get rid of them. I let them in when I heard the bedroom door close. Turning, I saw Bob was gone and knew he was in the bedroom with my naked wife. I told the in-laws she wasn't home, then I heard the bed squeak and then a second time. I hurriedly moved to the front door to let my in-laws out and began to hear squeak, squeak, squeak and knew he was fucking my wife. I was so upset, surprising even myself, because I wasn't mad or jealous, she had been a virgin when we got married and I really, really had wanted to see her facial expression when he penetrated her and she felt another man's dick sliding into her pussy. It was then that I first became turned on about watching my wife enjoying another man. I know this is a long thread, but it is how I separated sex from love and realized that sex with others could be exciting and without jealousy. Perhaps the clue to alleviating a partners apprehension is to successfully separate making love from sex. As married couples we actually "make love" less seldom than we have sex, even though we love the sex and our wives.
  9. We would love to hear comments and suggestions on our profile. Does anyone think our interests to be out of the mainstream of most swingers? Any thoughts will be appreciated. dodiddle swinglifestyle.com
  10. The thing I haven't seen expressed in these postings is the fact that the couple's marriage is based upon the feelings they have for for each other, the love they share and that they are happy and secure in their marriage. Isn't that the number one prerequisite to engage in the lifestyle? Isn't the marriage the most important thing? Who among us would give up such a marriage in exchange for a good lay? Aren't they doing what swingers do, in the security of their marriage, enjoying sex with other people to meet their desires, openly and together and afterwards going home with the spouse they love? The fact that she does not feel sexually attracted to her husband is unfortunate, but at least she realizes that it is not sex that makes a good marriage. It is the man. I dont think it is or was her belief that swinging would make her become sexually attracted to her husband. He never voiced any hurt that she wasn't sexually attracted to him. He seemed to be happy to watch "some guy climb on top of her". Isn't that one of the joys of most husbands who swing, watching their wife in heat moaning in pleasure as she is being fucked by another man? They swing as a couple so I must conclude his needs are being satisfied as well as hers. And they go home together, a loving, secure married couple. The problem with the show is some ass hole like Phil trying to give them advice about something he knows nothing about. He is not a swinger. Other people are. As in religions, yours is not better than mine, so dont judge me using yours as the criteria of what is right and wrong. All in all, the show was meaningless. Like a politician, he turned a question about swinging into an answer about a little girl to get votes.
  11. As for my screen name, totally meaningless. Just didn't want to use something offensive, conceited or deceptive. Lived in Florida and Cracker is commonly used to describe old time Floridians, so being more anxious to sign up on the site than being cleverly creative I used part of an old e-mail address and added a current zip code, since that "Spoo" name was already in use! How do I change it anyway? Like the name I use on SLS, Dodiddle.
  12. I don't read anything into it, but I think the name "Spoomonkey" is THE coolest name used on the site! And after reading his comments and posts, one of the best at expressing himself, understanding what needs to be said, and giving the best advice. And funny too!
  13. Mr. Naughty could intercept the "waterboy" as he made the neighbor's delivery and ask for water service also. When the "waterboy" brings in the bottle, Mrs. Naughty could walk into the kitchen nude, whereby Mr. Naughty could comment "dont mind my wife, she always goes naked around the house". Then Mr. Naughty could hand him a dollar tip and tell him " Mrs. Naughty will give you a.... tip (wink) next time you come".
  14. My wife was a 19 year old virgin on our wedding day. Rasied in a very strict religion she had never been on a date until I took her out. She was very cute and we soon fell in love and I respected her wish to give herself to her husband on her wedding night. It was difficult not to pressure her to give in, but I was 26 and able to control my urges for the three months we were engaged. She was totally without any sexual knowledge and had never even seen an illustration of a penis and had no idea what to do except for what her mother told her the night before the wedding. Coming into her bedroom, her mother simply said 'I know you don't know anything about sex but he does. All you have to do is lay there and let him do whatever he wants with you and you will get used to it. Just never tell him no.' She took her mother's advice. After four years of marriage and every way I could think of to get her to overcome her inhibitions, she would just lay there and let me. Never once did she initiate sex or do anything except lay there. Not that she didn't enjoy sex, when we would talk about it she said she always enjoyed it. The only way she ever had an orgasm was from oral stimulation and when she got close would thrash around and hump and moan until she came, but she would never perform oral on me. I would make her cum then jump on and get mine. We talked a lot about her inhibitions, she always wanted to overcome them and fully participate but said for too many years she was taught that sex was not for enjoyment but it was a wife's duty to allow her husband to enjoy her. One night she said that she felt the only way she could ever overcome her inhibitions was to get enough courage to do something so daring and totally sexual that it would take her to a new level and then she could have normal sex after experiencing something beyond her inhibitions. But, she said, we have done everything we can do and the only thing I can think of is to involve another person. ' If I could walk in a room and get naked in front of a guy I had never seen and would never see again and do every sex act with total abandon, then I could have normal sex with you.' When I said maybe we should plan something, she said no, she would only back out if we planned something because it was really something she would be way to inhibited to actually do. I had been buying sex magazines trying to get her to loosen up and there were a lot of letters from readers about swinging and wives who had found themselves in sexy situations with their husbands and one of his friends and ended up horny and fucking him while her husband watched. I was always turned on by these letters and the idea of watching my cute, shy, inhibited wife getting fucked as I watched. I came up with an idea. One night as she made supper I began to play around, grabbing her breast, coming up behind her and putting my hand under her dress and rubbing her pussy thru her panties. The phone rang and it was her mother, as she talked I reached up and pulled her panties down and put my foot on them so she couldn't pull them up. She tried not to laugh as she talked with her mother and then I got my finger in her pussy and she lost her concentration and stuttered on the phone and made a few ooohhh's and ssssstt sounds under her breath. After hanging up the phone I began kissing her neck and she asked what got me so frisky and I just told her 'you'. After supper I told her to go get a bubble bath and I would do the dishes. I quickly did them then went into our bedroom and pulled the covers down, replaced the nightstand bulb with a red one and put a porn in the bedroom vcr with the sound down low. Then I went into the bathroom and got her out of the tub and toweled her off and led her to the bed. 'ooohh', she said. 'you ARE horny!' I laid her down then reached in the nightstand and pulled out a short piece of rope and tied her hands together over her head and to the top of the bed. Then I got a bottle of sexy scented body lotion and rubbed it all over her body. Then as she laid there naked, hands tied up over her head and legs slightly parted, I told her to lay there a minute and think about what was going to happen and 'when I come back I want your pussy to be nice and wet' and I walked out and closed the door. I worked in construction and knew a couple of roofers, nice and tan and tall and lanky. I told them my plan and they were at the back door waiting when I let them in, shirtless and wearing only jeans. Quietly we walked back to the bedroom and I opened the door and walked in and there she laid, as I left her, tied naked to the bed, her pussy showing in the dim red light. About five seconds later the two guys walked in and startled her. She pulled at the ropes and before she could say anything I said 'Enjoy yourself getting over your inhibitions'. The two guys were bent over taking their jeans off their feet, and when they stood up both had at least 8 or 9 inches of cock sticking out and still rising. One got on the bed and parted her legs and she didn't fight but looked frightened. He lowered his head to her pussy and began to lick it and she started to moan and pulled her legs apart a little more as he stuck his tongue into her. The other guy was on the bed on his knees and grabbed her head on pulled it to his dick and with his hand rubbed it on her face and then to her lips and into her mouth and her cheeks bulged as she took it. The other guy moved up and laid over top of her and moving his hips got his cock in line with her pussy and in one thrust buried 9 inches of cock in her up to his balls. Her moan was muffled by the cock in her mouth and she lurched up and down the bed as the other guy fucked her. Taking turns, she got fucked in the mouth and pussy for nearly forty-five minutes. She wiggled and jerked and moaned and humped against the dick in her, I think she cum at least three times before they were wore out and she was exhausted. They pulled on their jeans and left as I climbed on top of her and gave her all I had and she fucked back, humping and moaning and when I pulled out and straddled her head, she had her mouth open and waiting when I gave it to her. Since then I have surprised her once a month for the past year and last week led her naked from the car into a friend's house where she was the entertainment for seven guys at a bachelor party and she loves it!
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