Jump to content

desert_dwellers

Registered
  • Content Count

    85
  • Joined

Community Reputation

18 Good

About desert_dwellers

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    New Mexico
  • Interests
    Computers, Music, Photography, Siteseeing, Socializing
  1. Cheating is the purposeful self-gradification of one person that directly violates the trust of their signifigant other. There is no justification for it in my view, EVER. The "I was driven to cheating" argument is BS. Conversly, swinging is the purposeful self-gradification of both that EMBRACES the trust that is shared. Sure swingers can and will cheat........but then they are cheaters not swingers.
  2. I have to concur with the majority............nothing beats a cream pie!
  3. Ok...one more post and then I'll leave it alone... Swinging, smoking, drinking, going to church, etc...are all choices that you make in you life (aka your lifestyle). From what I have learned through this board and other resources, Swingers are generally more tolerant, respectful and courteous to those engaging in alternative lifestyles (presumably because we desire the same in return). Cordial exchanges are the expectation even when parties disagree or don't click. It is important to point out that tolerance does not mean acceptance. I respect that there will be many who don't want anything to do with smoking cannabis, being around it, or being around folks that do. What bothers me is the complete lack of courtesy and respect you get from SOME folks after they find out that you smoke. It's almost like you turned into the Devil incarnate or something. Since we don't broadcast to everyone that we smoke it is usually with folks with which we have already built great rapport. These are the same people that moments before were chatting about how intolerant society is towards the lifestyle. Therein lies the hypocrisy.
  4. Awwwww.........shucks! Well thanks for the short story anyway. Sometimes the fantasy is just as good (if not better) than the real thing. facelick
  5. With these quotes in mind..... and you may consider changing your profile to "Seeking Lesbian Females Only" or something along those lines (even though your are obviously not a lesbian). This may help to minimize the unwanted contacts from single men and married men with bi-fem partners. As previously noted in this thread, single bi-fems are not very common . Even less common are single bi-fems seeking to only have contact with other bi-fems. If you entertain contacts with couples you must also be prepared to deal with a man (unless its a lesbian couple). From your post I gather that you are not against that but your preference is really the woman. This is not a big deal but the couple that you are dealing with must understand that. Since swinging is a "team sport", it is not uncommon that a man will expect to play as well (I know thats the way that I feel) at least on some level. Excluding one member of the couple in playtime does not go over well (unless it is planned and discussed ahead of time). If she wasn't up front about her situation then she should be able to understand when you tell her off. This is just devious. These people are not swingers.....the're cheaters. Avoid them like the plague. YES! YES! (Say what you want and your be more likely to get it). Good luck....hope this helps! -J
  6. 4:20 is definitely one of our favorite times of the day! S and I love to "spark up a jibbah" before playtime. We've found that it heightens our senses and lowers our inhibitions. Plus, you don't get the same side effects as you do with drinking (i.e. limp shrimp, slurred speech, paying tribute to the porcelain God). It's important to point out that this is NOT a requirement for us. It's just something that we like to add into the mix. However, just like swinging, it's not for everybody. It surprises me how many swingers (notorious for tolerance to others lifestyles) won't even talk to you after you mention smoking pot. It's almost like you have the plague or something. I know it is illegal but so isn't speeding, writing bad checks and adultery (generally unpunished crimes). The hypocrisy is astounding at times.
  7. Your gut instincts are your best guide. Obviously this guy had NO respect for your relationship (or his for that matter). Good call.
  8. Trimmed or all shaven for me (although I find trimmed more of a turn on). Full bush turns me off.
  9. This has always bugged me as well. Lets call it "reverse intolerance". The "you're gay and just in denial" bit is the response to "you're really straight but confused" bit. Both have really only one goal, to validate one way and invalidate the other. Fortunately there is room for both. However, as a famous comedian once put it, "You either suck dick or you do not suck dick!". So, being a "little bi" makes no sense to me either.
  10. Very good question to consider. Especially if you are new to the lifestyle. S and I are very outspoken and unapologetic people. When we agreed to extramarital sex (about 9 months ago) our approach was to be as open about it as we could be. Keeping it a secret made it feel like we were ashamed of what we were doing. We figured by being proactive and open about it we would have less damage control to contend with. The exception to this was our children (2 teens and 2 toddlers) whom we do not discuss it with because we believe they are too young to fully understand the situation (judging from other posts on the board......even folks in their early 20's have a hard time with this). Here are some things that happened (cause and effect - some good / some bad) due to our approach (we believe): - S runs a website for moms. In one of her members only forums she posted swinging related questions and comments. As a result a distant spiteful 19 year old cousin who joined the site to dig up dirt on Sioux, found the posts, printed them out and sent them to our eldest daughter (GRRR). Since then the eldest daughter (16) has converted to Mormonism and all but moved out of the house (no joke!). There is a lot more history behind the situation but I'm sure this didn't help matters. LESSON LEARNED: Watch what you post unanonymously online - regardless of if you think nobody will find it. - I talked to my Dad about it to get his reaction. His response, "Hey thats cool. Just watch out though......its not for everybody!". Pops is groovy. LESSON LEARNED: You will be surprised by who will empathize with you. - A then couple that we were friends with (about 9 months ago) were among the first that we shared our lifestyle with. They responded that they had checked it out and even gone to a party locally. A few months later the couple split up and went their separate ways (haven't spoken to each other in almost 6 months). S and I remained friends with both of them. The other day the male half (whom I was in a band with) was discussing a new "prospect" that he was interested in getting with. Somehow the conversation turned to his ex-girlfriend at which point he made the statement "I hope you don't have plans to go digging in my garden" meaning that I shouldn't be entertaining thoughts about having sex with his ex-girlfriend of 6 months. Somehow this seemed real "high school" to me and needless to say, we are no longer friends. LESSON LEARNED: For some....emotional ties to sex are so strong that swinging is not in their vocabulary. Even bringing it up is dangerous to your relationship with them. - At a party, I pulled a friend aside to clear up a misunderstanding involving S and her flirting with men besides me. Ultimately I told him about our lifestyle. Later in the evening he turns to S (who had no idea that I had told him) and asks her in front of a group of people, "So, you wanna fuck me or what?". LESSON LEARNED: Immaturity is the standard with most people in this regard. Our new rule is we don't share with anybody that we don't both agree on before hand. I have plenty more situations to share but I think you get the gist of it. As my beloved Pop always says, "Discretion is always the better part of Valor".
  11. So that's why so many women are into running a home-based business!
  12. Au Naturel is the easy way out but ladies like to see a groomed man as much as we like to see them groomed. Removing all of the hair is functional but makes you look like a 14 year old. From the comments above I'm thinking the general consensus on how the gardening should be done is silky smooth cock and balls with a neatly trimmed patch on top. This is all great feedback, please keep it coming. Any design ideas?
  13. It will prob be J.....seeing as he is the one who can talk without sex in the mind 24/7!!!!! We are still in the filtering out emails etc right now. Getting our paws wet so to say
  14. Ok...secret fantasy... don't think J knows this or not... I really get off on seeing pics and videos of it and would love to have it... Double Penetration... Mind you, I am a anal virgin, but have had playing in the area. My goal in the whole swinging thing, is someone showing me the ways of anal sex, and maybe eventually, a double penetration with hubby inside me and someone else in the other (anal) side!.
×
×
  • Create New...