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duwannaball

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About duwannaball

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  • Birthday January 13

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    couple
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    Northern California

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  1. I'm glad to hear it's all okay, but I was just wondering - was he the only person you apologized to or did you make apologies to others you may have offended as well? The only reason I ask is he may be suspicious if he was the only one you apologized to and not to anyone else.
  2. Sorry to get off the question again, but this subject does that a bit. This could be broken off but Is it me, or does it seem real that according studies about cheeting that 60% of married women say it's accepted for men to cheet. I dont know about the folks here, but that seems kinda high to me. Butch-
  3. What My wife and I have noticed is on AFF and similar dating sites, is how cheeting has become accepted and normal, like its ok as long as you can justify it. It's hard to believe that more than half of the married folks in this country, have no problem doing that, like the sites lead you to beleive. All the studies about how manogamy is not natural, which is fine, but does it justify cheeting? It's hard see what the norm really is. I guess the devorce rate is one way to get a feel of what the norm really is. I guess thats why we are attracted to the lifestyle, we can have our pie and eat it too, untill were full. Butch-
  4. The first time we met was when we were walking arm in arm down the aisle - literally. We were at our best friends wedding rehearsal and they (the groomsmen) were late so there wasn't any time for formal introductions. Has it been 17 years already?
  5. Good point, no offense taken. I hear what you are saying and you are correct. That is a big reason why she lied. When we met, I made it obvious how I felt about it, and it only makes sense tell someone what they want to hear when you really like them. As opposed to something that could come back in a negative way. It has to do with the level of trust. (Funny how these things trickle out AFTER you're married.) No offense intended, just a goofy analogy from a car guy that loves the beauty and character of old cars regardless how many times the odometer's been around. Butch-
  6. Ok, I here what your saying, but whats wrong with giving up the nasty details? Ego aside, I like hearing about it, it makes me hard. So I say tell me more so I can enjoy them. I would tell more, but shes already heard them, didn't take long. It's interesting what we can and can't remember about our past. The mind does funy things with good and bad memories especially with alcohol thrown in, although I think the really good ones seem to stick. Butch-
  7. Thanks for the insight, sorry for the generality, it should have read why do "some" women lie? with the interest in the women's response to see how common this really is and the reasons why. I guess it's just one of those things, like asking about their weight or their age, don't need to go there. It doesn't really matter to me now anyway how many strange dicks she had before we met, but for some reason I think it did 17 years ago. I think what bugs me most about this is not so much that she lied, but that I'm a bit jealous of her experiences. I feel like I missed out. The ironic part is, in a way, I respect her for it. I've had to deal with this curiosity and the desire to fulfill it, where as she seems perfectly satisfied with just me. She is willing to let me explore a little now and looking forward to progressing with her in the lifestyle. She is interested in swinging but her desire and curiosity to be with another man is slowing us down a bit. That's ok because when she is ready than I should be ready by then. ya think? Hey Mr and Mrs GT, DD says hello! Butch-
  8. Thanks for a bit of history, now I know what a white lie is. Without starting WWIII, let me try to explain why I ask. Obviously this is a loaded question, one that shouldn't be asked if one can't handle the answer or shouldn't be answered if she doesn't trust the guy with that kind of info. But if it is possed, and if it doesn't matter like people claim, then why is it not worthy of an honest response? Granted we all have our little secrets and like my wife says, "Some things are better left unsaid", but to lie about it, I don't believe is necessary. I understand the influence society has on our views of sexuality, but this site seems to break away from that and focuses more on honesty despite what should and shouldn't be acceptable sexual behavior. That's why I pose the question here. In my case my wife lied about it, big time, but to clear her concious she told me a few years after marriage, double what said the first time, and then ten years later double again. It's hard to explain the feeling I had when she finally came clean, but it was not good, felt like I'd been tricked, like being sold a used car where the odometer had been rolled a few times more than I was led to believe. (That would explain the rod knock I was wondering about when we really get going!) She said if she was honest about it at the beginning, then it would have changed things. I don't think so, but I honestly can't say either way. But I can say, it's my life too, and I deserve the opportunity to make decisions based on truth, not lies. Honesty is something I value highly and believe is always the best way to be, especially when starting a new life together. In all fairness, I should have had an idea of what I was getting into when she slept with me the first night. Love ya, Honey! Butch-
  9. I heard on the radio the other day that women when asked how many sexual partners they have had, usually say about 1/2 of the real number. I asked the Mrs about this and she said that sounds about right. I'm curious if this is the case for most women in general, and if so, why lie? Butch-
  10. Both myself and DD, when we were single, have had sex on the first date or when meeting someone new thru friends or a party or whatever the situation happen to be. When I met someone I liked and the chemistry was there, I would wait as long as it took until it felt right then make the move. In some cases it took several dates before it felt right, in others (like my wife of 14 years) it only took a few hours before the sparks were flying and needed attention. We haven't experienced the lifestyle yet, but are interested and will probably be doing so soon, we both believe that when it happens we will progress with the same idea of, "if it feels right, then do it together", as long as you are responsible for your own actions. I think when we do swing it will depend on the people and the situation, just like when we were single. Butch-
  11. I got a coupon in the mail the other day for water delivery.....told hubby it sounded like a good deal-and they'll give you 2 free cases of water for ordering! This story makes a much better ad campaign, though. ~DD
  12. Thanks for the invitation, we'd love that! We've been debating going or not. I think this puts us more in the going category. We'll get more details later. You and Mrs. would be one reason I could think of to start swinging.
  13. One of the reasons we are interested in swinging is because of my desire to gain more experience with other women and sow my oats. The other reason is it looks like a whole lot of fun and Mrs. Duwannaball is a little bi-curious. She did say I could go solo because she is not sure she would enjoy watching me with another women. I explained to her we should try it together first, and if it doesn't work than maybe solo, but I'm afraid it might create resentment. So we are planing to go to either go to a club for her birthday in Oct. or go to the Reno meet-up. Brings up an interesting question, do you think it's possible to sow my oats with my wife, or will I have to go solo? Any advice will be appreciated.
  14. I'm really interested to read the responses to this question being in the same type of situation. Because of the difference in our # of partners, he is more curious and I am perfectly satisfied with just him. I have told him he could go play solo since I had no desire in being with another man. It's reassuring to see someone else with the same questions.
  15. That would be one way to break the ice - suggest he reads this post!
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