PS: Consider this: If someone attends a public hanging for the first time, he's probably pretty apalled and heavily affected. Those who attend public hangings all the time get pretty used to it and are probably not affected very much at all. From that standpoint, yes, it gets easier watching your spouse as they are sexually involved with someone else. For some, myself included, it has become one of the things I look forward to most.
Now...thats funny!! Swinging and Public Hangings compared to each other. I dont know much, but I do know that is funny!!
In regards to the question at hand...It doesn't sound like you guys talk nearly enough about what both of you want and don't want. I think you already know that. Its not fair to either of you and you are heading for a train wreck if you do not change the way you communicate and how much you communicate. I think most everyone who has been in the LS for any length of time has been in an uncomfortable situation, but the couples who love this LS and will always be in it, are the ones who can make the best of a bad situation and talk about what went wrong. Damn, I am babbling.
Cat