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likeitalot04

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likeitalot04 last won the day on May 29 2008

likeitalot04 had the most liked content!

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About likeitalot04

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 10/16/1944

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    So Cal
  • Interests
    motorsports
  • Occupation
    Retired
  1. I thought about this more... I think your girlfriend has the wrong guy and she should move on.
  2. So it looks like you are now a full swap couple...either continue or quit, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Decide what you want. I don't understand the drama.
  3. My Mrs. loves giving head, but she says she can only do it for so long because she reaches a point where she JUST HAS TO SCREW...she says it is like an uncontrollable urge that comes over her... I hate when that happens!
  4. Thanks for your great reply GBN...I am very pleased to receive such insightful replies to my post, each and every one of you have made very valid contributions. You have an excellent point GBN...it really should be about the couple and not the individual as others have pointed out and you have said it in such a clear and concise way. Swinging should definitely be experienced as a COUPLE and not individually. I can see where if one partner perceives that the other is in it ONLY FOR THEMSELVES...it will not work.
  5. I think you are too good of a man to be concerned about "notches on your belt", but I catch your drift. I too think this is a good thread...there are a lot of people in our shoes and they don't want to ruin something very precious to them. I really enjoy hearing how each person handled the introduction to the LS when their partner was "Initially reluctant." There is nothing more important than your marriage so sensitive topics need to be well thought out so as not to hurt. Good luck...
  6. Likeminds, I am so impressed with your reply...THANK YOU! I was going to quote a small portion in my reply so other would know what I am replying to but when I re-read your post I realized that every point you made is right on and I felt nothing should be cut out. Everyone in my shoes should read this post and in fact the entire thread! I think your approach was perfect and I hope to be able to incorporate your successful communication method in my approach. I think finding like thinking partners would be a challenge but in dabbling in SLS's website there seems to be plenty of age appropriate couples that have the same basic wishes that I have. If I ever get to that point, I think the researching and screening will be one of the fun parts. Likeminds, thank you again for your great advice.
  7. Teresa, you and your lover have many, many years to look forward to...I know when I was younger I was concerned that we would lose our sexuality...it is such an important part of our lives now I don't think that will ever happen unless, God forbid, something happens to our health. I appreciate your concern and the time it has taken for you to reply...I like your empathy. Everyone who has replied has had good points and information to provide, but some I believe to not make the effort to put themselves in the other person's shoes. The members that responded in a more negative manner really were never in my shoes, one was in the LS before marriage and the other it was his wife's idea. Although they offered valid points and ones that I have paid attention to neither had to face what I have to face if I want us to enter the LS...so as valid as their points have been, they have not been here where I am. Yes, I really do care about my wife and I really want to learn and understand the world of swinging and to share that with her. Thank you again Teresa.
  8. I am impressed to say the least WeUse. Thank you. Our relationship reached a similar point a few years ago to the point I was going to hang it up. We went to counseling and it was the best thing we ever did. We met together, then separately, then together. We both were able to express what was not working in our relationship then we were given recommendations on how to correct it. It worked! We have a wonderful relationship now and the sex is better than I ever imagined it could be. Sometimes I wonder why I want more...I have been accused by my wife of "always wanting more"...but as you say, isn't that what life is all about? Who wants to remain stagnant? I certainly do not want my wife to think that she is "not enough for me" that doesn't even enter the equation in my mind. From what I have read on this forum is that if entering the LS properly everything between you becomes better...that is what I want and I want to do it without hurting my loving wife. Thanks to you and others I FEEL that I am getting closer to opening a true discussion of the subject so we can get it out in the open and discuss this very sensitive subject objectively.
  9. Thanks again Teresa, you are the greatest! I trust my wife to love me whether I hurt her or not...being married for as long as we have I have unfortunately hurt her many times and she has never stopped loving me AND vice versa. I do trust and love my wife. Like I said above, I have hurt my spouse in the past, what married person has not, but it was usually because I was not thinking or did not consider the consequences of my actions when I acted carelessly. Mostly in my youth, but it still has occurred. I want to avoid hurting...if it can not be done then I will forget about it, but I have read many instances on this site where the spouse is initially hurt but after reasoning it out in their own mind they have come to realize their partner is not a monster. I want to learn from others and avoid the hurt if at all possible. That is why I want to hear from others that had an "initially reluctant" spouse.
  10. We may be in our early 60's but our sex life has never been better! I hope the younger viewers here take that as a confidence building encouragement. You brought up several really important points Teresa and I appreciate the time it took you to respond to my post...Thank you! My wife was molested as a young child by some older neighborhood boys and her mother held her responsible...then as a teenager her mother never trusted her (sexually) and accused her of activities that she never did. This did a real number on my wife and affected her sex life as an adult. It was not until her mother's death that she was able to put this behind her. My wife can't explain it, but when her mother passed away she was evidently liberated sexually and became a wonderful sexual partner. My point is that people can and do change their sexual perceptions and responses, that is why it is so important that any introduction to the LS be done in a sensitive, caring way so as not to cause hurt or cause damage to the relationship. I do not take this lightly...it is a very serious subject and needs to be approached in the proper manner or not at all. I want to thank everyone who has replied to my inquiry, it will not only help me but all the others, male and female, that are facing the same quandary. I really encourage others, who were "initially reluctant" to post their experiences here so we can benefit from your experience.
  11. That is the way I look at it Teresa. Thank you for your very thoughtful reply, it is so helpful for a man to get a woman's point of view.
  12. Oh yes she does! She like it so much she says the one couple at a time videos are boring for her...and I feel the same way. Group sex visually excites both of us. I have thought about what you suggest in the past. I would like to try a soft swing experience...a watch and be watched situation...just to see "if it is for us." It is sort of a "how do you know until you try it" situation...I would think you would go away from such an experience feeling either positive or negative...I would like to know. If we venture into this I would like to do it with complete strangers from outside our community so IF we want to forget about the whole thing we don't have to worry about the other party hovering over us. I think this would be the safest thing to do and lower the risks considerably. From exploring on SLS I find a fair number of couples who delve into soft swing activity...some have the caveat of "we may go further with the right couple" which indicates to me they have come to the same conclusion.
  13. Thank you for your thoughtful response Julie, I respect your experience and knowledge on the subject and BTW thank you so much for this forum. I spent some time in the "Getting Started" forum after I read the replies above that discouraged me realizing the "negative" responses were from very long, and in one case nearly life long swingers. Everyone has to start somewhere and I found nearly an equal number of women's posts worrying how to bring up the subject to their spouse as I saw men in the same dilemma. Everyone says it is all based on communication between you and your spouse, but you have to remember that even with excellent communications there is the fear that you could be hurtful to your spouse. When you truly love someone being hurtful is the last thing you want to be. Without the fear of hurting your mate this question could be discussed as easily as "Where would you like to go for dinner." I have not really had a full discussion on swinging, it has been more like feelers being put out to test the waters and I feel that her responses have been partly conditioning AND she is just as afraid that if SHE says the wrong thing she may hurt ME. She has indicated to me that she would not be able to control herself in that kind of situation and it could be bad for the relationship. She has also expressed concern about diseases. I would like to have a full discussion with her and I believe that if I did initiate such a discussion she would discuss it with me...my hesitation is doing it in such a way it will not cause hurt. I also know that no two people are the same...however, we are intelligent beings and most of our brains respond in the same way to good logic; hence, my desire to hear from others and their experience. That is why I wanted to start a discussion by both men and women who were reluctant at first but "learned" to enjoy swinging, group sex, soft swing or whatever. From reading nearly everything on this forum I know I am not a lone when it comes to these curiosities. I also know that this LS is not for everyone, but I would like to encourage a discussion among those who initially thought they would never participate in such activities and now have grown to enjoy them.
  14. Well, there are two responses... Perhaps everyone was pretty much "born" into swinging and there was never any reluctance at all... Maybe I am wrong but I still believe that "most" women have a initial reluctance to the idea of swinging but many "learn to enjoy it." I would like to hear from those that have had this experience.
  15. Just curious Vegas...How did you enter the lifestyle? Was it your idea or hers? The first time swinging was mentioned in your relationship did you both say, "Hey, that is a great idea, let's do it!" or was there a progression of attitudes. From what I read on this site most couples take quite a bit of time to make the decision...was it different for you?
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