At our first 3 4-somes, I was 0/3 and he was about 16/3. A combo of nerves and other things going on for those other guys (one was on an anti-depressant which made erections almost impossible-would have been nice to know that going in, but then, we didn't ask). Although my husband also had some trouble getting it up when everyone was watching (3 pairs of eyes were 2 pairs too many)
So lots of oral play for me, and we both kept checking in with each other to see how we were doing. Fortunately my partner fucked me silly once they left each time, and the next day.
Have a chat with your partner, and work out what you want to do. We started off with the rule that 'it's only fun if everyone is playing' but you would need to define what you consider 'playing' and what you are going to do when you can't play.