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Silverman2112

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  • Content Count

    16
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17 Good

About Silverman2112

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 10/05/1964

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    West coast
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. You guys are better then going to a psychologist or sex therapist, I could keep asking questions but I don't want to hog up your forum so I'll read this and put it to work first. Sincerely thank you for your advice.
  2. I am reading and really listening to all the advice, like most things the answers are sometimes hard to hear. Nobody says just go do what you want and worry about the consequences later. Like part of me was hoping. Swingers seem to be a well educated group and have thought things through. I'm beginning to get it. My plan is to put the swinging on the back burner for a while, I definitely don't want to give up my gf. I'm just not sure the next step. I don't want to lose her, she is my best friend. I was scarred pretty badly when the wife left, I loved her more than I knew. So my true feelings of love are pretty well protected, I'm not sure if I can love like I once did ever again. I think if I'm understanding right, I need to get to the next level with the gf before any true trust can be between us. Trust and a deeper love keep the fear and jealousy away that could come of swinging? You that swing successfully, love and trust the partner so much that seeing them happy with another person makes you happy? And you know they love only you and sex is sex?
  3. I have not shown her yet, And I don't want to lose her so I'll back away from the idea unless she brings it up. It's not that important , I like your ideas and I'll move in that direction. It seems the older I get it's more difficult to find interests that actually are exciting. But as you lucky ones know , this is exciting so it's hard to just drop it And you're right , I lived a constrained life to say the least. Work, church, raised kids, more work. So much work that my wife left me. And then to top it off I got laid off, had to sell my house and old corvette. So as I'm now looking at being 52 soon and my thoughts of religion are not what they once were, and all my hard work didn't accomplish much. I realized rules I followed faithfully were just some other mans rules and now I want to live, I want to explore life , even if it's not for me I want to see for myself. I'm a quiet thinker type, I only open up here, for the first time ever, because I can remain unknown. I lack confidence and the odds of me picking up a couple to bring home are slim anyway. I'll start slow. Maybe get the playboy channel instead...
  4. You guys are an honest group. I'm not a cheater either, I never cheated on my wife of 24 years and won't cheat on my gf now either. However just for the sake of discussion. Sometimes people have different opinions on this. But it seems that this is something that you can't compromise on, you either both agree or you don't move forward. So there is a winner and a loser. No middle ground.
  5. Well a month ago swinging wasn't something I had ever thought much about. It got brought up in conversation, I did my research, asked questions, and got my answer. If two experts and my gf all say no I guess it's no. I just hate giving up. I'll admit I'm jealous of those of you that can make it work. Thanks for the advice. I knew the answer I would get before I asked the question. Good day to you all.
  6. We are 5 years into a relationship after long term marriages. Recently she told me of some escapades she had in her marriage, she had offered to bring a woman or a man home to her husband. He didn't go along with it but she had a few flings with another woman that he didn't know about. Now fast forward 20 years and I'm with her. Now I've lived a pretty boring life and hearing this gets me thinking. So I present her with the idea of just dabbling slowly in swinging. She is not interested, says seeing me with another woman is too much and is unhappy that I would want to give her to another man. She did leave the door open a crack for another woman and her to have sex with me watching but I can't touch her. But we are both getting older and she says that situation will likely never happen due to our age. Should I just drop it? I'm 51, and not getting any younger. I have been with 5 women in my life. 3 in high school My wife for 28 years Now a gf of 5 years When is no really no? What is it about me that makes her not want to share me? Is it my good guy persona? If she was into it 20 years ago why not now? I feel a little slighted and it irritates me that she would do it for husband one but not me. When do I get to live for me? We have a good life together and I probably won't mess it up for this but it does make me think about cheating on her.
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