mikeandchristie

Thank you all. It might be a week or two before I have any updates to post here but whenever I do I will come back and post. Thank you all for your advice.

Thank you all for your input here, it is much appreciated. I have been waiting to reply until I had some kind of update. I know I should leave her as many have commented here, but that is difficult on many levels but I am going to seek legal advice on it. For one, I'm not sure where the kids and I would go to and if we left she would turn our home into a party house. The other big thing is the kids, especially our two daughters, often take her side saying I'm being mean to her but they do not really understand what is going on and it would be hard to get them to go along. And last but not least, I still love her and want to see her safe and to turn this around even if we are not still together so I'm afraid for her if she leaves or we leave. I sat her down last night and we had the first real and civil conversation we have had in what seems like forever, even though it was fairly brief. I basically told her that I had seen everything when she had those people over to our house this past weekend and that either she was going to change or move out. She tells me that I do not understand her at all and that when she is in that moment it's the only thing that makes her feel alive anymore. She tells me that she has complete control over every man in that room and that every person is entirely focused on her every move. I do not know where all of this control stuff is coming from because she has never had low self esteem by any means. She is smart, educated, very fit, attractive, confident, and on and on so it only confuses me even more for her to say all this. She is actually a very passive person so I have no clue to where all this control stuff is coming from other than maybe the drugs and alcohol have messed up her brain. I tried to tell her they were only using her for sex with this gangbang stuff, that they didn't care anything about her, and that they weren't just giving her expensive drugs and what not for free but she just shakes her head. I told her when I came back at 5 a.m. there still two younger guys that were taking turns having sex with her and feeling all over her even though she had passed out; how was she is control of that situation?? The only reason I didn't go inside and stop them is because I did not want a ruckus and the police coming to our house at 5 a.m. with all these drugs there and my wife nude and that whole mess. But she doesn't see any of that. She often drinks till she passes out now so how does she even know whose doing what to her or even if they aren't gonna kidnap her or murder her...you know?? She is just so messed up in the head now. And as I had figured she wants to go to FL this next week for nothing more than to do an adult movie a friend has talked her into doing and wants me to pay her flight there. She says she will make $2500 and will bring every cent of it back and maybe I shouldn't even care after all she has done and we need the money really badly, but I still said no, that it was a terrible idea and people from here will recognize her face and all but she is probably going to do it anyhow. Well I have to go for now but I will post more later and again I truly thank everyone for their advice and listening. It's nice just to be able to vent some of this stuff and let off some steam.

Hi all, I'm new here and in bad need of advice. I found this place on google and thought it was worth a try to post my question here. It is somewhat and somewhat not related to swinging but I'm hoping someone here has experience with this and can help. We are in our early 40s and have been married 20 years with three kids and on the edge of divorce. About 4 years ago my wife had a mid-life crisis/small mental breakdown. In response she basically started drinking, hanging out with girls half her age, and having several affairs and one night stands which was the start to all this and we separated then. We got back together but she has never changed, only gotten worse. We started swinging upon her request to help our relationship and her to relieve all the tension she claimed was overwhelming her. She is now what I would call a full blown alcoholic and has been fired 3 times from her job. She does a very specific job in the medical field and we would more or less have to move 75+ miles for her to find another hospital but she would only get fired from there too. Our mortgage is behind and she is more or less no help with the kids. She works out and swims in the mornings and basically drinks and fucks at night, getting home at all hours with different people dropping her off. If I mention anything about it she blows up and says she can't take it, that I have to let her get it out of her system before she even tries to change. And always swears she is gonna stop all this soon. I have more or less stopped swinging sometime ago, it was more or less her thing anyhow but have let her go out with these people every night knowing what she was doing to let her work through this. This past weekend when she was getting ready to go out her phone kept blowing up so I knew something was up. She came to me and asked if she could have a few friends over since our kids were away because the place her friends were gonna hang out was no longer available. She asked me if I would go stay at one of our friend's houses for the night and come back the next day at lunch, that she needed her space and didn't want to introduce her friends to me just yet. Ok listen I'm sorry I know I'm typing too much, I will get to the point..thank you for still reading this it is just a lot on my mind. So I leave and park my car down the road but come back later that night. Watching from a window outside our game room there are 6-7 guys having sex with her and one other girl who is probably 25 years old. She is smoking, which she has never ever done since she has always been big into fitness. Drinking like there's no tomorrow straight from the bottles. And snorting line after line of what I only assume is cocaine unless there is another drug that you snort...but I assume that's what it was. It is a completely different person in front of me acting totally insane. I don't know if there is any hope for her to turn this around now after seeing her. Her and I have not had sex in 6 months now and half the guys fucking her weren't even wearing a condom which now makes me worry about STD's and Aids. Being in the medical field she would never ever do drugs but was snorting that stuff over and over and throwing her hands up in the air and shaking her head back and forth. She is a totally different person now. In all of our years together she would never ever do anal sex but was doing it now like it was nothing with them and didn't seem to have a care about them going back and forth between the holes or even to her mouth. It all just pisses me off that she would do this to me and our family. I leave and come back at 5 a.m. when all the cars had gone and look in the window and there are still two guys there having sex with her while she is passed out so I leave again. When I come home the next day I just keep my distance and don't say anything because I'm not sure how to handle it now and am about to go crazy and throw her out. I want to tell her to move out and that I saw everything but I'm afraid she will end up dead if she leaves. I still love her but I have no clue how to get her help but feel certain she is not planning on quitting any of this like she says she is. She tells me today that she wants to fly to Orlando Florida this next week, that she has a job that will pay her $2500. We need the money but I have no idea what it involves but I'm sure it is very bad. I don't want to lose her but I can't take this anymore. Any advice is greatly appreciated here as I am down to my last straw.