So my husband came to me letting me know that he is Bi... and would be interested in swinging and I am trying like hell to understand. It isn't something I have someone to talk about. Feeling just alone. I express my concerns and he is very sweet and wonderful saying "we never have to do anything" and seeing my concern and that in short -freaking me out changes subject to some extent.
I love him more than I can express in words... It's why I am here. I am trying to understand but I don't and I really want to... I don't really watch porn I look at the stuff he looks at on tumbler and idk most just scares me. Girls on all 4s blowing one dude while another dude is fucking her from behind... I see that and think "how is she even enjoying that?" I love sex... but any type of a 69 is weird I'd never get off unless hour or more later cause thinking about what I am doing than enjoying what is happening to me. Two guys? I am plus size... seems like that would just me ackward... He says he likes seeing me pleasured but most sexual encounters I have had took me a while to get off lots of faking... simply took me time to get comfortable with that person and or our relationship to enjoy sex trully... getting off with someone the first time? ahhh.... maybe 3 out of 30 partners?
Then to even think of someone else touching him, I just relate to him cheating... I just see myself crying to watching that.
My question, idk... what do I do? I want him happy.... I want to be happy... I don't really know how both of us can be. Though again as wonderful as he is he says nothing needs to happen and he loves me and is happy. I know he is curious. IDK... help?
