Rebash40

Thanks for all the responses. I think I'm really just over analyzing the situation. I can be a little on the naive side and I think I was just completely caught off guard with some things. Having only been with one other person in my life, Im just having to adjust and get used to dealing with different emotions and interactions. I really do just want this to be a fun thing, not something I have to question all the time. In the future, I'm going to try not to overanalyze and just enjoy life!!!! I think it was just my perception of being used and I truly don't belive that was the intention of the other husband. Im realizing that there really just needs to be better communication with everyone involved. Thanks again!!

The one and only couple that we have full swapped with and vice versa, when it's just the four of us, it's great. Equal time for everybody. When we go out, the other husband seems interested in meeting other girls and I feel left out and a little jealous. I have written posts about this previously. What I'm just now realizing is that I'm mostly feeling used. My husband and his wife hang out and I'm left stranded (although my husband tells me to join them but I want him to have a good time with the other wife). Am I justified in feeling that I'm being used? I don't want to cause drama but this does bother me. Is it ok for me to tell the other husband that I am feeling used or should I just keep it to myself and either learn how to deal or get out of the situation? We really enjoy this other couple at all other times and the wife and I also have a relationship. Maybe my mindset is completely wrong and I just need to change it, but I also don't want to be a pushover and let someone do things that make me confused and then have him want to go back to his house for sex after he's done making out and touching other women.

Thank you for your response. I should clarify, when I said "the husband" was very attracted to someone else, I was meaning the husband from the other couple, sorry if that wasn't clear. Also, this other couple had definitely made it known that they feel this is a "unique" connection that we have and that they are very much into the relationship, although I do sometimes feel the wife is more invested than the other husband. I do feel that he doesn't want to get too close so as not to develop feelings and the wife has said as much.

My husband and I are fairly new to the lifestyle in the past year or so. We decided to give it a try, looking for some excitement and adventures. As time has gone on, my husband is not as certain about the lifestyle, but because I still have an interest he is willing to continue the journey for now. If he decided he did not want to continue, I would absolutely stop. For the majority of our time in the lifestyle, we have mostly talked with other couples and met a few couples out for drinks but nothing ever felt right. Through all of these experiences, we determined that we were really looking for another couple to hang out with, have intimate experiences and to do this on a regular basis. We really don't feel comfortable hooking up with other couples or singles just randomly. There has to be an intellectual and physical connection in order for things to happen. A couple of months ago, we met another couple that things just really clicked with. We've continued meeting and things have led to full swap. This is the first for us and they say the same. We interact frequently by text and try to meet once a week or so. I don't know if I'm just being naive or if I've let myself become to attached but when we go out anywhere that the lifestyle is acceptable, I only wanted to spend my time with this couple for the most part. I have no desire to seek out anyone else and my husband feels the same. I was kind of under the impression this other couple felt the same. This most recent outing, the husband apparently was very attracted to someone else and spent a great deal of time with her, dancing and making out. I felt confused because I truly did not believe that was anything this other couple was into and I felt hurt that the short amount of time that we did have to spend together, he chose to spend with someone else. Am I wrong to be upset about this, being in the lifestyle? I would really like this "relationship" with this other couple to continue, but I definitely don't want to go through that again. Part of what I like about the lifestyle is being found desirable by someone that I find desirable, and I love being that person's focus, just me and no one else. Not sure what to think or do. I'm not sure if I should say something to this other couple or not. Help!