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mysteryperson

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19 Good

About mysteryperson

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 09/30/1953

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M male
  • Location
    midwest
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I am very curious about how you would handle an unattached woman coming on to your wife. It's the scenario i have alluded to in my first two ever posts. No actual swinging experienced here, but I have described (both here and to my wife) my intense desire for a "soft" FFM threesome. I would not do anything with the other woman that my wife did not do as well. This means that my penis stays out of the entire activity. My mouth and hands would, I hope, go and do the same places as my wife's mouth and hands (on the other woman) - - and even better the other woman would allow me to simultaneously pleasure my wife in all the same ways that she is doing (using my hands and mouth). Tribbing? Well, i can't do that, of course, but my imagination does not go that far. Part of my point in asking you these questions is that my ideas avoid what I would not want to happen: my wife never has sex with another man and I never have sex with another woman. Will I ever truly get my wife actually interested enough to approach or allow herself to be approached by another woman? Remains to be seen. How would you and your wife react to the idea of such a thing? It even crosses my mind that "trade-off" FFM threesomes COULD be set up between two couples in this way (probably not same night, nor same location). That is... the other woman is with us under these rules, followed by my wife is with the other couple on a separate occasion, under the same rules. It would (have to) involve the very highest degrees of trust. And I wonder if I would ever feel comfortable acknowledging what we we were all doing... with the other husband. Might be easier to pretend that it is not happening, in my interactions with him.
  2. Your unfulfilled fantasy is not much different than mine, at least in how it starts. The subsequent trajectory, once it starts... might be different in your head than it is mine, but neither of us can know for sure. What would happen would be a function of the real people, all three of them. You still don't get the issue of the non-existent porn that shows an actual couple, and the difficulty (or not) getting out of the starting gate? And shows respect towards both the wife and the other woman? And portrays that the boundaries would NOT be very unrestricted in an initial encounter? And doesn't depict the husband as such a stud that it takes two women to meet his animals needs? Yet, it is frequently said here, that porn can be an aid to communication between a couple that is trying to decide whether/how/when/with whom another person might become an intimate player. I have never seen any film, not even any partial scene that I would want to show my wife, with the intent of trying to see if it it could be seen as appealing... if she is open-minded enough. There ARE real people (women) on this board who both give and receive advice on making a trial attempt at girl-on-girl play. The evolution of Mrs. Shore2Please is a very instructive story here. Never though about swinging ever before just jumping in the deep end on a cruise. And sounds like... not very likely to ever be really attracted to another woman. Despite that, advice is given to comparing first attempts at oral sex with (on) another woman to first attempts at oral sex with (on) a man. Several players here have made mention of "made you gag" first time around. So, I think being open-minded can lead to... well, I don't know where. For now, what I read here seems more promising than any porn, though I still wish I could simply have my wife... "just sit down here, and watch this"... I wonder if it would have been any different when we were just past our twentieth anniversary... instead of just past our fortieth.
  3. I didn't feel the need for an apology. Rough? Well, maybe a little bit, but all opinions are valid, even if they are emotion-tinged and something you might want to take back the next day. After all, what if I/we went to a party or club and encountered some similar opinions... better to hear it here where it is harmless. There are two trains of thought on this thread, with regard to IMAGES of an FFM threesome. One is images in your head (from experiences or only in your imagination). Enough descriptions have been offered up to paint a picture of what really happens (and none of the "stories" on this swingersboard.com seem to match the commonsense advice that I am hearing here - - so that aspect of this website seems just about as fake as porn. I would still very much like to hear any REAL stories, from the perspective of a husband, a wife or "the other woman". Has no one ever experienced something like a "date" (especially in your home), where it began with just having the husband get all touch-y / explore-y with his wife (or her initiating with her husband) - - in the presence of another woman - - and with nothing more than a wink and a nod, the other woman got invited in and accepted? Second is the "REALITY" of what does truly EXIST in the world of porn (commercial), whether movies for sale or DaneJones or other clips on porn websites... or amateur video uploads (even voyeur cans, though such a thing seems really awful if the three people are truly unaware). I have checked out the Pure Passion series called Threesome Fantasies Fulfilled (seven different "volumes" of this!) and they all seem the same - - let's forgive the fact that they all feature men and (especially) women who absolutely look like porn stars - - sexually ATHLETES, generally with incredible one-in-a-thousand bodies. That's who shows up to work for the porn films made by the companies who ultimately succeed. Virtually all of these are "scripted" on the same ridiculous notions that surely have nothing to do with real life. For starters, the man is such a stallion that of course, it takes the mouths of both girls(women) or the pussy or ass of both of them (inherently never at the same time, duh!!!) ...just to "satisfy" him. Because it IS all about HIM. When everyone here says that the girls generally HAVE to lead the way. Occasionally, threesome "films" begin with two girls making out, often skipped straight to one eating the other out, maybe naked from the get-go (or still in their hooker stiletto heels - - give me a break!) and never any inkling of the awkwardness of getting started, kissing, removing clothes... and in these scenes, most of the time, the guy just walks in on them, typically fully naked. And as I have ranted about already is that there is almost NEVER any indication that one girl is in the relationship with him and the other is the invitee. If people (swingers or wanna-be swingers) enjoy what really happens in real life, how can it be that no producer of porn realizes the market of filming such a thing. It's okay if it is scripted. Just don't make the actions the unrealistic choreography of clowns. One new arena that I have just discovered DOES offer a possible glimpse of reality. At hclips.com there really do seems to be some true non-actor people (sometimes mischievous teens!?) trying this and that and the other in real amateur settings (often with terrible or non-existent camera work). Some of my complaints listed above are still prominent in these clips. I think that is because the subjects, generally are all VERY young, and maybe the girls are doing certain things... "trying to act like" what they think a porn threesome is supposed to include. Maybe neither pf the girls is barely anything more than a girlfriend and maybe virtually a new one at that. In this context, maybe it really does happen - - one girl encourages the other to suck his dick, just as much the other girl encouraged her to do the same (or ride him or whatever). This may be the aspect of how real swingers act that is very, very foreign to me. I can NEVER envision my wife wanting to guide MY dick into the pussy of the other woman, nor licking her pussy or my balls with me in her. Some of you full swap folks maybe really do get to that kind of exploring adventure for adventure's sake. Whoa nelly... I still cannot picture even wanting anything like that. Is it so rare that the whole purpose of a threesome is to put the focus on your wife's enhanced pleasure(s)? So, this is a lot of different thoughts about the two interconnected aspects of threesome images, perceptions and realities that I hope to hear more, and especially from the lurkers. It makes this board a seriously unique resource, from my perspective. I know nowhere in my "real life" where i could discuss these kinds of things with any real friend. And not all the way ready to discuss them entirely with my wife.
  4. Acknowledging and saying thanks for these latest replies. But I do feel like contesting this statement... > I really do think that I have scoured all the "porn for women" and "women directed" and there is still not a wisp of anything like a film with FFM scenes where one woman is clearly part of a couple with the man and the "other" woman is someone who really does like and respect both of them, and allows herself to be swept into something. It is jus thard to grasp why the makers of erotic films (if that actually is something different than "porn") have never identified this as something men, women or couples would like to watch. It could zctually be just part of a movie that could pass the MPAA system not much more than "R". Way "less" explicit than Fifty Shades of Grey or the infamous (and dumbINO) lesbian scene in Black Swan. I just cross my fingers and hope that patience will lead to some kind of comments from a bi-curious single female who can share a fantasy (carried out or not) or an experience she heard someone had or something to connect my wishes with some little piece of reality. I understand fully that finding something in the world or "ertoic films") does not connect my thoughts to "reality". It underscores that I will very likely NOT find someone who wants to chat with me about any of my dreams, most likely even among the inexperienced. Why would such a woman even be here? The very labels illustrate how unlikely it is that someone will fit my fantasy notion(s). Single, straight feamle, seeking a couple. => that makes it perectly clear, this is a woman who wants to have sex with me while watches or masturbates or does something involving other parts of me. Not desirable, and I have no desire to sell that scenario. Single, bi female, seeking a couple => same problem; this is a woman who expects that my wife will "dig right in" and know what to do and want to do it. Even single bi-curious female implies that this is someone who (maybe) expects to have a more experienced woman take the lead. I guess I am seeking "Single bi-curious female who is scared to death and hoping that a wife and husband want to stumble along, the blind leading the blind together"! Oh well!
  5. Thank you both for replying. All replies to this thread are, of course, much appreciated. Looking at other items that you have posted here, kikokrome... you (two) are clearly on a different plane than my/our virgin status. And xx1448, we belong to the same confused and totally inexperienced league of lurkers / "will-we-ever-be boundary crossers" - - with different idea than mine (hers? I can't sday for suer)... One recurrent theme that I am sensing here is that virtually every couple, indeed every individual has different boundaries. It's a wonder any one can make any sense out of getting from point A to point B! All new input still very much welcome.
  6. I am very new to this board, and certainly NOT in the "lifestyle" (yet, and I doubt if I/we ever will be).... which sounds like what I read in the profile descriptions of many other newbies here. So far, I have posted only one time, with a thread called "Hoping to find someone for her". The responses I got there were thoughtful and pretty direct - - pointing out to me if my fantasies are not, in any way, her fantasies, then the only path forward is a whole lot more communicating with her or forget it. Very good counsel. And now, I am back here... I feel like I can surely NOT be the only man my age (or older or younger) with a burning desire for what I would describe as a "soft FFM threesome ultraLIGHT". While it would be very intimate, it would be much closer to "making out" than "having sex". Since I first joined this board, I am pleased that my wife and I actually DID have a calm and civil conversation about the idea this week. I described how it might happen. My story goes like this: we have a friend visit us for dinner, watch a movie or something on our very big home theater screen. Plenty of wine, consumed a little bit to excess, all three of us happy, giggly and feeling like finding our silly selves. I sit on the couch next to my wife and start kissing her... and unbutton her shirt a little,,, cast my social filter aside and start feeling her up, and then kissing/sucking/licking her nipples... not particularly paying attention to our guest, until my wife and I both turn our gaze to her... and with nothing more than our eyes and a tiny gesture/nod of our heads, beckon her over to come join us. And she does... And the story can be written in your my head, her head... it can go to the bed, to the hot tub, to the shower together... there are many possible outcomes. The point I am trying to get to... is that I have NEVER seen anything vaguely like this in porn, and something tells me that this scenario doesn't really exist in literotica either... it just doesn't seem to exist in popular sex mythology... that a threesome, in real life, as we live today... it ALMOST SURELY going to begin with a COUPLE. A husband and wife (of forty years, in our case), but even if only unmarried partners (and presumably much younger than we are), an existing relationship of an F and an M, and the F that gets added to it is a "someone else". Maybe she is good friends with both, or a relatively new acquaintance to her or to him or to both... but she has NEVER been on their minds before approaching this totally new boundary-crossing, nor have they been on her mind - - with regard to intimate physical contact with each other. Isn't this how a REAL LIFE threesome starts? Isn't there some persuading - - however slight - - an act of taking a dare, or closing your eyes and trying to jump into something very scary and totally new? Isn't this ALWAYS the case, or certainly if it is a first time (which, inherently it would be for us)!!?? And reading a lot of profiles here, whether it's a threesome, or a foursome, soft or full swap... it seems to be a "hasn't YET happened in my/her/our lives... So, veterans... please chime in... and wanna-be's and newbies alike... is your reality or your imagined reality nothing like what I picture as the path to a threesome with another woman? Do I have this image all wrong? It seems like the makers of porn have it all wrong, to me... why has no one in porn seen the light and directed the plot line that is in my head (and in your head, for hundreds or thousands of you?) Tell me your story or stories... experienced or only imagined... and help me understand what does happen, what could happen, how you picture it... post-script: my conversation with my wife earlier this week didn't change much, as far as her views on having intimate contact with another woman. She does not fantasize about it, and does not believe that she would want it or act upon any scenario that I might try to create. Maybe I made a tiny dent in getting her to believe that this is NOT about my wanting to have sex with "the other woman" - - and if nothing else, I felt like I made some progress with the closing thought... that this is an activity that humans enjoy doing together - - and in that context - - I said that I wanted to am challenge her... AGAIN... - - can you have a more open mind about it? If nothing else, she did not find that question in appropriate, coming from me. I made the analogy of so many other ways, in which I have helped her enjoy "pushing the envelope"... with respect to foods, wines, travel, art, television, things we read and enjoy together. I have always been more adventurous than her. It doesn't mean that she is flawed, nor that I am better than her. It's just what has worked for us, in so many realms, for so many years.
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